Adorania turned to my kitty. “I-I don’t understand.”
“Is there another bracelet like this in existence, he means,” I said.
Adorania looked blank. “No. Well, I mean, yes, my sister. Stella, she has the matching one to this,” she said. “What are you getting at?”
“But, if your sister has the matching bracelet, wouldn’t it -- presumably, I mean -- have Stella’s initials on it? S.B?”
“Correct, Ms. Opal.” Adorania’s voice was cool with a newfound impatience. “Only my sister’s initials are also: A.B.”
“I beg your pardon?” Well, this is an exciting turn.
“Astrid,” Adorania said. “My sister’s real name was Astrid; not Stella. Of course, she always hated the name, Astrid. She defied father by switching it in her mid-teens to ‘Stella.’ It wasn’t a legal transition, though. She was a rebel like that, Stella. Always playing at the boundaries of any written rules.”
“Star,” Gloom whispered. “They both mean ‘star.’”
“That’s right, kitty cat. But I fail to see how this has anything to do with anything. Seeing as my sister and her bracelet are buried six feet under right now.” Adorania sighed. “Along with my favorite dress.”
The hairs on my neck stood on end. “Can you repeat that last part, please?”
“My dress, you mean?” Adorania blinked at me. “It’s of no importance, Ms. Opal, and shame on me for even mentioning something as insignificant as fabric, but, well, Stella was buried in my favorite frock. A blue, silk number I’d picked up on the mainland. Leland suggested I hand it over because we all knew how much Stella loved that dress. She had borrowed it on countless occasions ….” Adorania’s words trailed off. “What?” She asked. “Why are you all looking at me like that?”
I leaned over to Fraidy and cupped a shaking hand to his ear. I whispered instructions to my anxious kitty.
“Why me?” Fraidy hissed. “I’m not exactly the best man for the job here.”
“Carbon, you go with him,” I said.
“Huh? Go where?”
“Fraidy will tell you, just go with him.”
Carbon stared at me. “Now!” I said.
My two cats slinked their way to the front door of the Maggoty Apple, keeping to the shadows the whole way. Adorania spun around in her seat to see what my cats were up to. “Wha--what’s going on?”
I held my downturned palm over the table and looked at Stella’s sister. “I am about to lay some items on the table,” I said. “But, you must promise me, when you see them you won’t react. Okay? Is that clear, Adorania? I need you to remain passive.” The woman bobbed her head.
I lay the fabric down, but covered it from outside view with the palm of my hand.
Adorania stiffened, her eyes flew open in visible alarm. “Where did you find these things?” She whispered.
“Please remain calm,” I said. “But, I think I know where to find Leland Clavelle.”
She slapped a hand to her chest. “You know where he is? Leland’s alive?”
The certainty I felt over Leland’s fate kicked in then. I gave an almost imperceptible shake of my head, and cupped my hand over Adorania’s and squeezed. “Leland’s gone, sweetie,” I whispered. “And, there’s something else you need to know …”
Chapter Nine
“Stella Blazier!” I bellowed, standing up from my seat and whirling toward the Santa who sat at the bar. He spun around, his mouth hanging open.
“Drunk Santa!” Midnight gasped, staring at the red wine stain on Santa’s fur-trimmed jacket.
The Claus impersonator bolted toward the door.
“Fraidy, Carbon, now!” I shouted over to my guard-cats.
Fraidy, more in reflex from my command than from bravery, leaped at Father Christmas’ face, hooking his claws into the bewildered Santa's beard. He swung there, left and right, grunting with the effort of trying to unmask our killer. Santa grappled with my terrified cat, trying to pull Fraidy from his face while trying to hold his beard in place and his identity covered.
Fraidy swung, his lips curled back in a manic grimace, his tail swishing for added momentum.
“Get off me, you flea-bitten animal!” Stella Blazier swatted at my dangling cat, lost her footing, and fell to the floor. Fraidy didn’t let go and tumbled with the woman. I think my scaredy-cat was pretty much in the grip of paralyzed terror. He just lay there, like a mute sphynx, on top of Stella’s chest, staring into the undead woman’s face with a glaze to his eyes.
“Stella?” Adorania took a tentative step toward the fallen Santa. Stella looked at her sister and yanked the beard clear of her face.
“What’s the matter, Addie?” she spat, pushing Fraidy to the side. The latter fell to the floor, as petrified as a dead oak tree, eyes like glass, and sipping shallow breaths. This is going to cost you a lifetime’s supply of salmon, Chimera.
“Looks like you’ve seen a ghost.” Stella’s smile bordered on the barbaric.
“No,” Adorania choked. “No, I don’t … I don’t believe this is happening.” She rocked on her feet.
Stella rose to her feet, pulling off both the curly white wig and the Santa hat in one fluid motion. A wave of chestnut hair fanned out behind her.
“You can believe your eyes, dear sister.” She unbuttoned her red jacket, tugging at the gold-buckled belt. A pillow, or Santa's stomach, fell to the floor. “Because this is really happening.” Stella offered her sister another demonic smile.
“What … why would you … where is Leland?” Adorania fell to her knees, her face registering the full shock of what was unfolding. She folded her hands together in front of her and beseeched her sister. “Please, Stella,” she said. “Please tell me you haven’t hurt Leland?”
Stella’s chilly laugh sounded like she had swallowed a grave-full of soil. “Hurt him?” She said. “No, Addie, I didn’t hurt Leland. I killed him.” Stella laughed again. This time in the style of a storied maniacal killer.
Adorania’s body shook. Her hands flew from their prayer position to her face. Tears poured freely down the woman’s face. “No,” she said, her head swaying from side to side. “No, I don’t believe you …. You’re … you’re dead!”
I stepped in between the two women, but said nothing. Adorania needed a lifetime to digest what she was seeing and hearing, but I figured I could give her a few seconds at least.
I looked at my petrified cat laying still next to Stella and then nodded to Gloom. “Go and take care of your brother, honey.”
Gloom, unhappy that she was about to be taken out of the circle of excitement and put to pasture as a caregiver, rolled her eyes at me and sauntered over to Fraidy.
She sat on him.
Because Gloom deems this a suitable way of giving comfort.
I waved to Iris Crimple who stood motionless at the bar, watching the spectacle unfold. Even her chins remained still. “Iris,” I shouted. “Is Donkerton’s officer still in town?” The landlady nodded mutely.
“Call him,” I said. “Now.”
Iris sprung into action and dived for the phone, knocking over an opened bottle of gin in the process. I turned back to the sisters. “Stella …. Astrid, I mean, maybe it’s time you start talking,” I said, looking directly at Stella Blazier. I knew enough to know what had happened, but I didn’t know how stuff had happened. My kitties gathered round, and folded their legs under them, as curious as I was about how all the bizarre events might have unfolded. Gloom sat upright on Fraidy’s head, her ears twitching.
The sobbing Adorania swiped at her tears and faced her sister. She left her right hand clutching at her heart.
“Well, I’d like to know who the hell you are, first,” Stella said. “And, why have you been asking questions about my family and me?”
“I’m a private investigator, Mrs. Blazier, and I --” Gloom’s gales of laughter interrupted my discourse. I glared at my kitty until she settled down on top of Fraidy’s head once more.
“As I was
saying, I’m investigating Leland Clavelle’s disappearance. I’m helping your sister.”
Leland Clavelle’s ‘late’ wife snuck a glance at her overwhelmed sister.
“I guess it’s no secret that I didn’t die last week,” she said.
“Courtesy of the Stillbreath’s, I believe,” Onyx said.
Stella frowned. “Ugh, I hate talking cats.” She looked down the length of her nose at Onyx.
“But, yes, cat, the Stillbreath’s are superb for faking death,” she said. “And so easy to obtain, given my position at the WSA.” Stella sighed. “I guess the top-secret designator doesn’t really count now, so I’d might as well share with you that the WSA was conducting Stillbreath research for our astronauts in the ROP.”
I looked toward Adorania. “Your sister’s talking about the Warlock Space Agency and the Red Orb Program. Stella had a permit to harvest the fungus. We saw her name: Astrid, on the registration form.” Adorania gave me a vacant stare
“The astronauts in the program, “ I said. “Their bodies are subjected to all kinds of gravitational stress, not to mention a host of psychological stressors … Stillbreath brings down the rate of respiration, heart-rate, you name it. It limits cortisol and adrenaline production too. In carefully measured doses, it’s a boon for anxiety, but in heavy-handed doses …. well…” I waved a hand toward Stella to illustrate to Adorania what a heavy-handed dose of the fungus could do.
“A Stillbreath death can only work if your family is governed by a list of Death Precepts, however,” I said. “A precept that doesn’t permit embalming, for example.” I looked at Stella.
She threw her hands to her face and gasped in mock surprise.“Oh, no! Has my sister been sharing our family secrets? You know about our penchant for red satin? Oh, dear, oh dear.”
“B-but why? Why would you do this, Stella? Why?”
“Oh, sister, you really need to ask why?” Stella said. “Did you honestly think I’d let you run off with my husband and live the rest of your life in the happily-ever-after? Seriously?”
“Y-you knew?” Adorania said. “You knew Leland and I were having an affair?”
“If I hadn’t come home from work early, then I’d have likely never have known,” Stella confessed. “I mean, who’d have thought my own flesh and blood would cavort with my husband behind my back?” She paused. “I thought I had Leland’s life scheduled enough to mitigate any such philanderings, but I guess you used my scheduling against me, Addie. You used Leland’s Goddamned squash lessons to get at my husband.” Stella’s eyes flashed.
“We .. we’re in love,” Adorania mumbled. “Leland and I are in love.”
“Were,” Stella spat. “You were in love.”
“Oh, my Goddess, what have you done?” Adorania got to her feet, and stared at her sister through a veil of tears.
“What have I done?” Stella screeched. “You did this. If you hadn’t been trying to steal my husband from me, Leland would still be alive and on schedule right now!” She pulled back her lips and let her breath seethe through her barred teeth.
“We were going to tell you!” Adorania blared. “We were in love, and wanted to do things right! We were planning on telling you, Stella! Where is he? Where is Leland? Tell me!”
Stella offered her sister a sly grin. “Why, he’s in Silent Meadows, of course. Only, he’s in my grave now; not visiting it.”
Adorania lunged. I stepped in just before she reached her sister, and held the grieving woman at arm’s length. Her grief-induced strength was incredible. I fumbled in my pocket for my wand while I wrestled Adorania with my one free hand. Pulling out the cherrywood stick I flicked my wrist toward Stella’s sister. “Pluma Gravitas!” I shouted my ‘feather-light’ spell, and Adorania’s force weakened to that of a newborn kitten. The woman flailed her arms in futile circles as she tried to overcome me. I could have held her back with my little finger. I drew in a deep breath and turned to Stella. “But, you were buried,” I said. “How did you do it? How, and when did you kill your husband?”
“Well, I had to make it realistic, didn’t I?” Stella thrust her chin at me. “I had to make sure that old lady Spleener saw me in my coffin on the morning of my burial. I needed to make sure that I wouldn’t be held under suspicion.”
Shade scratched his head. “I don’t get it,” he said. “So when did you off Leland?”
“Before I was buried,” said Stella.
“Before?” We all chimed in unison.
“No thanks to Leland,” Stella said. “He positively blew off his schedule. He had me working all damned night. I was lucky to get back to my coffin before morning broke. That’s when I made a ruckus so that Mrs. Spleener would hear and check up on me before finally sealing my casket.”
“You were the one who knocked over the formaldehyde?” Onyx asked. Stella nodded. “I created a little disturbance, yes,” she said. “Didn’t have much time to fix my hair, though,” she added.
“Sorry, I’m still confused,” I said. “We saw you. On top of your own grave at Silent Meadows just two days ago.”
“Whoever the hell you are, you are correct,” Stella said squinting at me. She looked like an angry snake. “I was burying Leland when you and your never-stop-talking cats came snooping, not crawling out of my grave.”
“She talkin’ about me, yep, yep?” Jet chittered.
Stella pulled a chair from a nearby table and sat down. She wiped a hand over her face. “If you’ll shut up and listen, I’ll lay it out for you.” She eyed us all with her reptilian gaze. “Clear?”
We nodded.
“I planned to wait at home for Leland. This was the night before the funeral. Leland was supposed to be running at six p.m, as per his schedule. But my spineless husband came here to drown his sorrows instead.” She pointed to the bar where Iris Crimple stood rapt. Stella cleared her throat. “The Spleener’s shut up shop at five p.m. The Stillbreath serum had worn off about an hour beforehand. I felt groggy, and my head ached.” She looked at us. “Fungal hangover. The worst. Anyway, I waited for the Spleener’s to go upstairs and back to their humdrum lives of early evening tv shows, and then I crept out. I took the path through the woods back to the house. I had to. I was wearing a ballgown for Pete's sake. I needed to get back to the estate to put on some comfy clothes for my mission ahead. My first task was to spike Leland’s sport’s drink before he took off on his run. I knew my husband would arrive home from work at five-forty-five p.m, so I had to act quickly.”
“You spiked Leland’s sports drink with Stillbreath?” I said.
“No, no. Simple cyanide. Faster acting than the mushrooms. Plus, cyanide kills. Outright.”
I couldn’t get over this woman’s apparent glee. A sparkle of the darkest kind of humor danced in her eyes. “Anyway, I had to wait for Leland to stagger home from the pub,” Stella said. “Which put me three hours behind schedule. I thought my plan was ruined when he stumbled his drunken ass through the door,” she said. “But, luckily for me, my husband’s boozing session had made him very thirsty. It took him no more than thirty seconds to reach for the drink. And he guzzled the whole damned lot.”
“D-did Leland see you?” Adorania asked.
“Oh, I made sure of it, Addie,” Stella sneered. “Cyanide is very fast acting, as I mentioned, but, yes, I made sure to step into Leland’s last glimpse of the world.”
“No, no, no.” Adorania shook her head in disbelief.
“Aww, Addie, you’ll get over it,” Stella hissed. “You’ve still got your beloved greenhouse, right? I hear gardening can be beneficial for grief, so I’m sure you’ll be okay in no time.”
My mind flashed back to Adorania’s dirty fingernails. I guess that explains that.
“So let me get this straight,” I said, pulling on my lip. “You’re pronounced dead by the coroner, shipped to Spleener’s for prettying up and prep … stop me if I get it wrong,” I said. Stella gave me an acid smile and a nod of her head.
“Because of t
he Blazier precepts, you’re not embalmed, just washed, made up a little, hair styled, dressed up and whatnot, correct?”
“So far so good.”
“So because of the Blazier embalming ban you knew you weren't going to have your system flooded with formaldehyde,” Onyx said.
“‘Yep, yep, ‘cos the embalming process, like, would kill you for sure, yep.”
“Yes, and because I wasn’t embalmed, it afforded me a little freedom to move around, as it were,” Stella said.
“So you zombie-walked to your house, took out your hubby, and then what? You went back to your coffin to be buried? Lady, I’m not gonna lie, that just doesn’t make any sense,” Midnight said, his arms out to his side in question.
“That’s exactly what happened, cat,” Stella said. “I already told you, I didn’t want my involvement with Leland’s disappearance to come into question. I wanted my death to look authentic. And final.”
Adorania fell to her knees. I was thankful because even though she was made light by my charm, my arm was getting tired. Stella’s sister uttered a low moan.
“You were buried for … what … two days?” I asked. “How did you get out?”
Stella’s leer morphed into something a little more sincere looking. There was real warmth in her smile. “My coyote friends,” she said. “They came when they were needed. We share a language. We understand one another, and they came. They came at the exact time I requested of them.”
“That’s nuts,” Shade said.
“Where was Leland when you were in the ground?” Adorania stared at her sister. “Where was your MURDERED HUSBAND while you lay around biding your time?”
“I hid him in the Blackbugler’s mausoleum,” Stella said. “The only living Blackbugler today lives on the mainland. Nobody ever visits that crumbling crypt.” She ran a hand through her hair. “It was easy, I performed a spell much like our unknown snooper here,” Stella said, flicking her head toward me. “I made Leland as light as a feather, and I carried his sorry bones from the house back to the crypt in preparation for burying in a couple of days time. I made the mistake of forgetting to bring a change of clothes, though.” She paused and looked at my cats. “But, anyway, this lot spotted me while I was attempting to cover my husband wearing nothing but Addie’s ballgown.”
Spells and Jinglebells Page 40