Diary of a Super Spy: Space! : (A hilarious adventure for children aged 9 - 12)

by Peter Patrick

  “Ok,” Harley shrugs. “So how do we steer this thing?”

  “Oh, right. Yes,” Dad replies. “You must control the spaceship using the gamer control pad. When we were building the prototype for the spaceship, it was the only thing left in the room, so we designed the ship to move with the commands of the gamer control pad.”

  “Uh?” I question. “I don’t know how to use that control pad.”

  “It’s alright, Charlie,” Harley smiles. “I’ve played a computer game that used the same controls. You need to move the controls like this.”

  Harley punches a lot of buttons, leans the controls forwards, kisses the game pad, and then suddenly…

  BOOM!

  We have launched into the air!

  The spaceship has taken off!

  I hold on tight as the spaceship wobbles and shakes.

  “Harley, fly this thing in a straight line!”

  “Hang on,” Harley calls out. He hits a few buttons, twirls the joystick, and then punches the gamer control pad. “There!”

  Suddenly, we are flying in a straight line towards the sky!

  “Great job, Harley!” I yell as we race through the clouds.

  Woo-hoo!

  Space – here we come!

  Chapter 4

  Space!

  After rocketing out of the Earth’s atmosphere, we fly into outer space and soar towards the meteor.

  This is so super cool!

  We are in outer space!

  Flying into space is so awesome – it’s everything I thought it would be. I can see so many stars, and planets, and the moon looks so much bigger up here.

  “Hey, Harley, look!” I point back towards Earth as we leave the atmosphere. “If you look back there, you can see the North Pole! The Earth looks so awesome from up here.”

  But Harley doesn’t say anything – he is afraid of heights.

  “There’s nothing to be scared of, Harley,” I say, trying to calm him down.

  “But we are so far up,” he quivers. “You know that I am no good with heights. We are so high!”

  “No, we’re not,” I say. “It’s not like you can fall out here. If you fall out of the spaceship, then you won’t fall very far, because there is no gravity. You won’t fall back to Earth. You’ll just float along in the nothingness forever, never actually getting anywhere. See? Nothing to be afraid of at all.”

  Harley doesn’t respond. I don’t think that helped.

  We continue the trip into space, and I try to remember what my Dad told me about the red buttons… I can’t remember what he said, so I just hit all the buttons at once.

  I don’t think that’s a great idea, but it is going to have to do.

  As we head towards the force-field, I hope that we are able to drive through it…

  Woo!

  We fly straight through the force-field that is surrounding the meteor.

  “We’ll land on that flat section over there,” I say. “I just need to try to remember what Dad said about landing… he said ‘Hit a switch, and then hit a red button, and turn on the tap’… I think that is what he said.”

  Harley doesn’t respond. He is gripping the edges of the spaceship tightly as we approach the meteor.

  “Um, Charlie,” Harley shakes. “We seem to be approaching the landing much too fast. If we continue at this speed, we are going to crash…”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I smile. “Dad said that this spaceship is designed to withstand crash landings. We’ll be fine.”

  “I don’t want to crash, Charlie!”

  “No problem! I just have to push this red button, followed by this switch…”

  “Charlie!” Harley sounds really nervous. “We are going too fast to land on the meteor! We are going to crash!”

  “It’s alright,” I say calmly. “I just have to punch this switch, and turn this dial…”

  “Charlie! We have to slow down!”

  “It’s ok,” I say as I press every button on the control panel.

  “Charlie!”

  Um, yep.

  Maybe Harley is right.

  We do seem to be going to fast to land safely on the meteor…

  SLAM!

  We crash into the meteor!

  Luckily, the spaceship bounces – first on the wing, then on the nose, and then on the back.

  We bounce four times before coming to a stop in front of a big rock.

  Ouch.

  “Hashtag Rough Landing,” I say, as I open the doors of the spaceship and climb out. “I really should have listened to what Dad had to say about the controls. That way we could have landed a lot easier.”

  After climbing out of the tiny spaceship, I shake my body, dust myself off, and begin to walk around the meteor.

  This place is amazing.

  It is just like the moon – it’s covered in space rocks and dust, and I can even see Earth off in the distance. Planet Earth looks like a little star. That is so awesome.

  I wonder if aliens sing songs about Earth – ‘Twinkle, twinkle, little Earth…’

  “Hey Harley, you should see this… Harley? Harley? Where are you? Are you ok?”

  I turn around, but I can’t find Harley.

  Where is he?

  Running back to the spaceship, I call out to Harley again. “Harley? Harley? Where are you? Are you hurt?”

  “I’m not here,” I hear a muffled noise from inside the ship. “There is no-one named Harley here. Go away.”

  Harley is hiding in the spaceship, scared of what is out here.

  “Come on, Harley. We are in space! This is amazing! You have to check out the view of planet Earth! It looks so tiny! Although, I’m sure if you look hard enough, you would still be able to see Mr. Hazel’s nose.”

  Our language teacher, Mr. Hazel, has a big nose. When he sneezes, the entire room shakes.

  “No. I don’t want to come out of the spaceship, Charlie,” Harley’s voice shakes as he talks. “It’s safe in here. I’ve done my bit – I flew the spaceship into space. Now, you go and save the world. I’ll wait here for you.”

  “Come on, Harley! This is one of the greatest moments of our lives. This might be the only chance you get in your whole life to dance on a meteor! This is so cool, Harley,” I start dancing on the meteor. I would do the moonwalk, but as this isn’t the moon, I don’t think that would be appropriate.

  “No, Charlie. Not this time. It’s too dangerous. Maybe next time we come into space, I will be the first person to dab in space, but not today. Today, I am staying inside this spaceship.”

  “Harley! We. Are. In. Space! You’ve got to walk around and check this out! Anyway, I need your help to locate the force-field generator. Remember, we still have to save the world.”

  “Hmph,” Harley begins to slowly climb out of the spaceship and puts his foot nervously on the meteor. “I’m here to find that force-field generator machine, turn it off, put down the steering control panel, and then we’re out of here. I’m not spending an extra second longer here than I have to. If you promise that you won’t play around, then I will help you. Promise?”

  “Fine,” I reply. “I won’t play around. I will just look for the force-field generator machine.”

  Harley reaches back into the spaceship and collects the steering control panel that will help steer the meteor once the force-field has been turned off. He places the steering control panel on a flat piece of meteor-rock, and turns it on.

  “Right. The steering control panel is on,” Harley says. “Now all we have to do is find the force-field machine, and turn it off. Simple, right?”

  “Sure is,” I smile. “You go that way, and I will go this way.”

  Harley and I start to walk in different directions, looking for the force-field generator machine. It’s hard to look for something when you don’t even know what it looks like. For all I know, this rock could be a force-field machine.

  Or this rock.

  Or that rock.

  There are a lot of
rocks on a meteor, and not much else.

  “There it is! Charlie, I’ve found it!” Harley yells. “Over here! I’ve found the force-field generator machine! It looks just like a toaster!”

  I race over to join Harley, who is staring at the machine.

  He’s right. It does look just like a toaster.

  “Are you sure that’s it?” I question.

  “Of course,” Harley replies. “Look. You can see the rays of the force-field coming out from the top of the machine. And there doesn’t appear to be anything else on this meteor. That has to be it!”

  “I suppose you’re right,” I reply.

  “Great! Let’s go turn it off!” Harley starts to run towards the machine. “All we have to do is switch it off, and then we can go home! I’m going over there, Charlie! This is too easy! We should come into space more often. There is nothing to be afraid of at all!”

  “Harley! Wait! We haven’t found the alien guards yet!” I try to stop him. “Wait! Harley!”

  “There are no other life forms around here,” Harley bravely runs towards the machine. “It’s just us, space, and the machine. Nothing to worry about, Charlie! Let’s do it!”

  “Harley! Wait!” I yell again, but he keeps running. “Wait!”

  And then…

  WHACK!

  Chapter 5

  The Alien Guards

  Harley goes flying across the meteor!

  What happened?!

  I look behind Harley, and see an alien guard standing there!

  Agh!

  Harley was hit by the alien guard!

  “Harley! Harley! Are you ok?” I shout as I run to help my friend. “Harley!”

  “It’s ok, Charlie. I’m fine,” Harley groans as he rubs his helmet. “What hit me?”

  “Look,” I say quietly, pointing towards the alien walking towards us.

  Oh no…

  The alien doesn’t look happy.

  Actually, he could be happy. I’m not sure what happy aliens look like. They might even frown when they are happy.

  The alien that walks towards us has big round eyes, antennas, a long stomach, a belt, and he is wearing trousers around his ankles. Weird.

  “What is that?” Harley’s voice shakes as he hides behind me. “Charlie, we need to get out of here. Fast.”

  “Don’t worry, Harley,” I reply. “I’m sure the alien is nice. He’s probably really friendly. We’ll just explain to him what we are doing here and then ask him nicely to turn the meteor around. There is nothing to worry about at all, Harley. We’ve got this.”

  The alien walks towards us, arms out wide, staring at us with anger.

  Maybe he doesn’t look so friendly…

  “Get off our meteor!” the alien guard states firmly. “You need to go home. This is our meteor, and we do not want visitors! Go home!”

  “Hello,” I greet the alien. “My name is Charlie, and this is my friend Harley. We are from the planet Earth, which you can see in the distance over there. We have come to your meteor to ask you to turn it around and go home.”

  “No,” the alien replies.

  “Please?”

  “No.”

  “Pretty please?”

  “No.

  “Pretty please with a cherry on top?”

  “The answer is still no.”

  Well, that’s all I’ve got. I don’t know what to do now!

  The giant alien’s arm goes backward, and he gets ready to hit me!

  “Wait!” I stop him. “Before you hit me, you need to tell me who you are. I deserve to know which alien is about to hit me.”

  “You know who we are!” the alien yells.

  “Um… nope. Sorry. I’ve got nothing. I have no idea who you are.”

  “Yes, you do.”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “Yes, you do.”

  “Sorry, Mister. I have no idea who you are. I have never seen you before.”

  “Yes. You do know who we are. We are famous! Look at us! You must know who we are!” the alien announces as a second alien guard walks towards us.

  “Um… nope. Still nothing.”

  “We are the Trouserdown Guards!” the alien announces.

  “The trouser down guards?” I question, looking at the trousers around his ankles.

  “No. I said the Trouserdown Guards.”

  “The trouser down guards?”

  “Nooo… the Trouserdown Guards.”

  “Oh… the trouser down guards.”

  “No,” he replies slowly. “We are the Trouserdown Guards. It is one word, not two. Trouserdown, not trouser down.”

  “Oh… right. The good old Trouserdown Guards,” I pretend to know who they are.

  “We sent Earth a video last month saying that we want all of your trousers to be delivered to our planet, or will we attack Earth with a giant meteor! We were very clear in the video.”

  “A video? How did you send it?”

  “We sent the video via intergalactic email.”

  “Nope. Sorry. We mustn’t have got it. Do you mind resending it, and giving us another week before you hit us with the giant meteor?”

  “Oh, ok,” the alien replies, looking confused. “No worries. We will go back home, and resend the intergalactic email to Earth.”

  I turn around, and start walking back to our spaceship.

  Well, that was easy.

  “No! Wait!” the second alien guard yells. “We have already given you a week. That is long enough. It is time for you to deliver all of your trousers! We will not give you any more time!”

  “Yeah! Delivery time!” the dumb one says. “Now is the time for delivery! That’s why we call it delivery time!”

  “So you want all the trousers on Earth, or you will crash this meteor into our planet?” I ask.

  “That’s right! We have no more trousers left. We need a new supply. Without trousers, our ankles will get very cold. We are from a very cold planet, and we do not like having cold ankles. And you can see by the size of our big hands, we cannot sew new pairs of trousers ourselves. That’s why we need yours. We asked nicely, but nobody responded to us. Now it is time to take action!”

  “Ok, ok,” I try to calm the guards down. “Let us go back to our spaceship and call Earth to see what we can do. We will ask nicely, and I am sure that they will send all the trousers to you very quickly. There is no need to worry about anything. We will get this sorted out.”

  “No. You will stay with us until we crash into your planet. We will not allow you to return to your spaceship.”

  “Why not?” I question.

  “Because you might try to stop us. And if you know anything, then you must know that the Trouserdown Guards will not be defeated! We are un-defeatablely.”

  “That’s not even a word,” Harley calls out from over my shoulder. “You can’t just start making up words!”

  “It is a word on our planet!” the second Trouserdown Guard replies. “And so is squashie-squashie.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It is when we sit on something, and we flatten it. And that is what we are going to do to you! Squashie-squashie! Squashie-squashie!”

  Oh no.

  I turn to Harley and whisper, “I have a plan. On the count of three, run back to the spaceship. We need to call Dad to get help. He will know what to do.”

  “What? I can’t run. You know I’m not a fast runner,” Harley whispers back.

  “Harley, we don’t have a choice…”

  “One…”

  “Two…”

  “Three! Run!”

  We start to run away from the alien guards, but the lack of gravity on the meteor means that we float when we run.

  That’s not good!

  The Trouserdown Guards are going to catch us!

  I look over my shoulder to see how close they are…

  But the problem with wearing trousers around your ankles is that you can’t run very fast…

  Chapter 6

&n
bsp; Calling Earth

  Harley and I race back to the spaceship, leaving the Trouserdown Guards tripping behind us.

  Harley jumps straight into the driver’s seat of the spaceship, and starts playing with the controls.

  “Harley, where are you going?” I ask. “We can’t leave now! The force-field is still on! We have to get to the force-field generator machine and turn it off!”

  “No way. We’re going home, Charlie. We can’t defeat aliens that size. We have no chance against the Trouserdown Guards! Did you see how big they are? And they are aliens! Big aliens! That is not what I signed up for.”

  “We can’t go home, Harley. We have to turn off the force-field generator machine and stop the meteor crashing into Earth. It is up to us to save the world. There isn’t enough time to go back to Earth.”

  Harley looks at me with questioning eyes. He knows I’m right.

  Reluctantly, he hands me the Intergalactic Communicator to call my Dad at Super Spy Headquarters.

  “Dad!” I yell into the transmitter device.

  “Charlie. I’m at Super Spy Headquarters, and we have been monitoring your progress. Tell us what you have found on the meteor.”

  “Dad, we’ve planted the steering control panel on the meteor, but there are alien guards here! They are blocking us from turning off the force-field generator machine. And they are not friendly alien guards – they are huge!”

  “We need that force-field turned off, Charlie. The fate of planet Earth rests on you and Harley completing the mission. If the force-field is still on, we can’t steer the meteor away. You must turn it off!”

  “But the guards are too big!” I reply.

  “Who are the alien guards, Charlie? What are their names?”

  “The Trouserdown Guards.”

  “The trouser down guards? Never heard of them.”