‘Bathrooms and kitchens cost a shitload to renovate. Don’t overcapitalise and risk not getting your money back.’ Jake perched on the windowsill opposite her. Only centimetres separated his jean-clad knees from her bare ones.
‘Oh, I doubt we’ll ever sell the place. I’ll stay here for a bit. At least until my leave finishes. But whatever I decide to do long-term, Alice and I will still use it as a weekender.’ She lifted her head and peered at him. ‘And just how much do you know about renovating kitchens and bathrooms?’
‘Not that much. I did a bit of labouring for a builder way back, and I’ve helped a couple of mates with home renovations – enough to know it was a career I didn’t want to pursue.’
‘Oh.’ Her head dropped back onto the mattress, eyes closed. ‘I thought you might be good for the job. Gavin O’Driscoll seems to be stuck in Roxby Downs. Don’t think I’ll ever get the salt damp fixed. Would you help me shift the wardrobe while you’re here?’
‘Okay. Where is it?’
‘In the dining room.’
Laura didn’t move and Jake let his gaze, and his imagination, wander. Her arms were above her head now. Long, lightly tanned, nicely muscled. Soft chestnut curls framed her face. A strip of paler, bare skin was visible between the bottom of her pale-blue tank top and snugly fitting shorts. Her face was relaxed and long lashes brushing the shadows under her eyes were the only sign of how hard she worked. Need pounded through him and blood rushed south. He ran his fingers around the neck of his t-shirt, watched the slow rise and fall of her chest under the thin cotton of her top.
‘Guess I’d better get up so we can move this wardrobe,’ she murmured but stayed where she was.
Jake shifted uncomfortably then stood up.
‘Not yet,’ he said.
He could not resist her any longer. He would not. He had principles, but he was no saint. Plenty of time for regret later. He lowered himself down onto the bed beside her. Her eyes flicked open and their gazes met and held and he watched, mesmerised, as colour warmed her cheeks and her blue eyes darkened to indigo. Her tongue darted out to lick at her bottom lip and before he could stop it a low groan came from way down deep.
Jake felt as if he was going to burst. Then she answered the unspoken question that hovered in the air between them by parting her lips, reaching up to slide her hands around his neck and pulling his mouth down onto hers. He pushed aside the nagging thought that he was about to make it even harder for both of them when the time came for him to leave, and did what he’d been imagining moments, hours, weeks before.
When the mattress dipped Laura opened her eyes. She tried to swallow but her throat wouldn’t cooperate. Desire rippled through her. She reached for him, sure fingers gliding through his hair to the back of his neck, guiding his lips down to hers. His mouth was hot, his lips hungry and she revelled in the taste of him, the way his hair curled on his nape, the sandpaper feel of his whiskers, the hard press of his body.
As he eased down onto her and into their kiss, Laura knew that this time they wouldn’t stop at a kiss. This time they weren’t making out in her car. Jake’s large hand pushed up and under her tank top. Her nipples hardened in anticipation.
‘Protection,’ she whispered. ‘I don’t have any.’
He lifted his head, withdrew his hand, balanced on one elbow and reached into the back pocket of his jeans for his wallet. ‘In there,’ he said. She plucked out a single condom, the packet slightly frayed around the edges.
‘Now who’s the boy scout?’ she said.
‘And aren’t you the grateful one,’ Jake gloated. He rolled over onto his back and took her with him. Her laughter was swallowed by their next kiss, and her feet were no longer on the ground.
Sweat glistened on Jake’s chest. Resting her head on his outstretched arm, Laura shifted, the bare mattress hot and prickly under her skin. With her fingertips she reached for a discarded piece of clothing, swiped it between her breasts.
‘Overhead fans,’ she murmured and Jake’s eyelids flickered. She rolled onto her side so her head was resting on his shoulder. Sticking out her tongue she rasped it across his salty skin. His eyes opened.
‘Overhead fans. I need one in here.’
‘Mmm,’ he said and closed his eyes again, his arm wrapping around her. ‘I should go. I told Jess I wouldn’t be long.’
‘You weren’t that long,’ Laura taunted, and his eyebrows arched and he opened one eye.
‘Ungrateful woman,’ he growled and in one powerful move he’d flipped her onto her back.
‘Still not a fan of brass beds?’
He laughed and she felt it vibrate through his chest as he pinned her to the bed, swooping in for another kiss. His mouth moved over hers, devouring its softness, and desire thrummed through her.
‘Your phone. It’s ringing,’ Laura said against his lips, minutes later, their bodies slick with sweat and need.
‘Shit,’ he mumbled. Laura felt him tense and then the mattress bounced as he moved away.
She propped herself on her elbows and watched him rifle in the pocket of his discarded jeans.
‘Jess,’ he said, more like an expletive than a greeting. ‘Ten minutes.’
He threw the phone onto the bed and started pulling on his jocks, looking back over his shoulder at Laura.
‘Sorry, but Jess needs to get going, something about the supermarket and collecting the boys from school.’
‘That’s okay.’
He stood, picked up his jeans. ‘No, Laura, it’s not okay. But it’s how it is.’
Laura shimmied to the edge of the bed, gathered up her clothes and got dressed, trying not to feel like she was being abandoned. She understood how it was. And how it would be. None of it was okay but it was how it was, and she’d gone in with her eyes open. She tried not to let her disappointment show.
He shoved his phone into his pocket. His sigh was deep. Laura tried to smile but her mouth wouldn’t cooperate. He cupped her face with his hand and she wanted to throw herself at him, beg him not to go. Not now, not ever.
‘I am sorry. I wish circumstances were different.’ He brushed his lips across hers and when he spoke again his tone was light, almost teasing. ‘But I’ll have to come back tomorrow . . . We still have the wardrobe to shift, and then there’re all those other jobs you’ll need help with.’
‘Yeah, you’re right. I’ll start making a list. I can see myself needing help most days.’
Jake’s phone beeped and with a muttered curse he dropped a kiss full of promise onto Laura’s still tingling lips. ‘That’ll be Jess again. I’ll see you,’ he said.
The house felt empty but Laura’s body hummed. Her thoughts were saturated by all things Jake. She wandered from one unfinished task to the next, finally settling at the kitchen table to sort through more of Dorrie’s papers. She told herself over and over to make the most of every moment she had with Jake because she’d only have him for a while. And that would have to do, as much as she might wish it were different. At least this time she could prepare herself – she knew he was going to leave her. It wouldn’t be at all like Brett.
The only sounds were of the kitchen clock, the intermittent grumble of the refrigerator, the whir of the fan in his laptop. It was late. He’d thrown open the doors and windows, an invitation to the cooler night time air.
Jake sat at the kitchen table and stared at the screen, scrolling through the photos he’d taken at Neill’s birthday lunch. When he came to the one he’d surreptitiously taken of Laura on her own, he stopped scrolling. He remembered the moment. She’d been smiling at something Mikey had said, her blue eyes dancing with amusement. Looking at her made him ache to be with her. He wanted to go to her now, to pick up where they’d left off twelve hours earlier.
There was a crash and Jake was on his feet and at the door to the sitting room in seconds.
‘Dad?’ He flicked on the overhead light, blinking in the sudden brightness.
‘I wanted a drink,’ his father w
heezed. ‘Mouth’s dry.’
The water had been tipped over, the glass knocked to the floor. Jake picked it up, surprised it hadn’t broken. He topped it up from the jug nearby and held it while Neill took tiny sips between laboured gasps. When he’d had enough Jake set the glass on the cupboard beside the bed.
‘Do you need to use the bottle?’
‘No. But sit with me for a while.’
‘All right,’ Jake said and turned off the overhead light, the lamp on the cupboard casting the room back into shadows. He dragged a chair close to the bed and made himself comfortable.
‘Was Laura here earlier?’
‘She was, around teatime. You were asleep. She sat with you for half an hour. She’s working again tomorrow.’ They’d stolen a hungry kiss in the kitchen on her way out. The memory quickened his pulse.
‘Tell me what’s bothering you, boy. I know there’s something.’
Neill’s speech was remarkably lucid, his eyes gleamed in the low light. Jake’s heart rate kicked up even further, but now for an entirely different reason. He swiped at his lips with his tongue, leaned forward in the chair. Time was running out. It was now or never.
‘Jess told me what’s in your will, and I won’t take it.’ He hadn’t meant for his voice to sound harsh, but it did.
Silence, and then the scrape of Neill’s head on the pillow. ‘Why not?’
‘I don’t deserve it. I know I’m not your biological son.’
‘Oh, son. I wondered if you’d found out somehow, and that’s why you’d left.’
‘I overheard a conversation between you and Milt Burns, it was back when Jess had tonsillitis and he did a home visit out to the farm.’
‘I remember the time. Milt wanted to put Jess into hospital, she was that crook. So it wasn’t your mother who told you.’
‘No. I asked her who it was. She wouldn’t say.’
Neill frowned. ‘You looked her up then, after you left?’
‘Tracked her down, more like it. She wasn’t exactly thrilled to see me.’
Jake sensed the old man’s scrutiny. When he finally spoke, his words were measured.
‘You were hours old the first time I held you, and you were my son. I was there when you cut your first tooth, took your first step. I picked you up when you fell, taught you what I knew. It never mattered that I wasn’t your biological father.’
Jake felt as if someone was standing on his chest. He had to fight to suck in enough air to speak.
‘I’m sorry now that it mattered so much to me,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry it took me so many years to open my eyes and see.’ And without Laura, I probably never would have. ‘I’m so sorry, Dad.’
Neill had closed his eyes. The room was hot, the air felt too thick to breathe. Jake lurched to his feet, went to the window, threw it open, dragged hungrily at the freshness that billowed in. Why had he put this conversation off for so many years? They’d missed out on so much because of his obstinacy.
When he’d given himself time enough to garner a semblance of control, he sat down beside the bed again and Neill opened his eyes.
‘We all make mistakes, son. It’s what we do about them that counts.’
Awed by his father’s capacity and willingness to forgive him for his twenty years of absences and rejection, all Jake could do was stare at his hands, a knot in his lap.
But there was something he needed to know.
‘About Mum,’ Jake started, not sure how to go on.
‘She was never happy, Jake. She was eighteen, pregnant, I was thirty and thought I’d end up a crusty old bachelor. I won’t say I shouldn’t have married her because I wouldn’t have you or Jess.’
‘Did you love her?’
Neill took a while to collect his thoughts and when he spoke, Jake was taken aback by his candour.
‘I thought I could, that I would, but I don’t think that I ever did. I’ve never hated her, though. Even when she left. For myself, I was relieved more than anything.’
Jake leaned closer; his father’s voice was fading fast. Neill coughed, squeezed his eyes shut, his face a paroxysm of pain.
‘Dad.’ Jake moved out of the chair and perched on the side of the hospital bed. The coughing shook his father’s frail body. Jake found the morphine pump, pushed the button like the nurse had shown him. The light flashed and he pushed the button again.
As the coughing subsided Neill sank back into the pillows. ‘About the farm, it’s been in the family for three generations,’ he said, his lips barely moving, each word pushed out on a shallow exhalation. ‘Take twelve months to try and turn it around, that’s all I ask. Jess needs help, even if Darren comes back. If it’s not working by then, you two do whatever you want with it.’
Neill’s words winded him like a sucker punch to the gut. He felt light-headed. He thought about Laura, he thought about the life he’d put on hold. He stared at the man in the bed, eyes shut, mouth slack. His father. Grief and regret swelled in his throat: grief for all the things that never would be, regret that he’d been too small-minded and stubborn to realise how small-minded and stubborn he’d been. It would always be his loss.
He lifted his father’s hand, the translucent skin scarred and sun-spotted. Tears burned behind his eyes.
‘Have you said anything to Jess?’
‘No.’
‘All right,’ he said, his voice raw. ‘Twelve months.’ It wasn’t long but it felt like a life sentence. Nothing more or less than he deserved.
Neill’s fingers tightened around his. He looked the most peaceful he had in days.
‘Kaylene, you need to ask him,’ Laura repeated for at least the sixth time in response to the practice manager’s barrage of questions.
‘He won’t tell me anything. I’ll ring Linda,’ Kaylene said with a determined gleam in her eyes.
Laura sighed. ‘Probably the best thing to give them is their privacy. I’m sure when they’re ready to talk about whatever it is that’s going on, you’ll be one of the first to know.’
Kaylene’s lips thinned, but she gave a Laura a curt nod before she turned back to her work.
Laura heard her mumble, ‘Bloody doctors are all the same,’ and she smothered a laugh as she walked the short distance to her consulting room.
The day passed with a steady flow of minor ailments, repeat prescriptions, follow-up blood tests, a Pap smear and, Laura’s highlight, an elderly woman who wanted to know what to do about her husband’s snoring.
‘I’d really need to see your husband, to determine what’s causing the snoring and then what we can do about it. But I think you’re right: if the earplugs don’t work anymore, best if you sleep in another room for the time being.’
The woman left promising to make an appointment for her husband. ‘Whether the old bugger will come is another question,’ she said on her way out.
When the final patient had gone Laura ducked out the health centre’s back door and hurried home. Another interrogation by Kaylene was more than she could deal with, and Jake hadn’t answered her lunchtime phone call or either of her text messages. Jess’s car was parked in the driveway behind Neill’s ute when she drove past. Perhaps Jake would be able to get away for an hour? Even half an hour.
It was overcast but the clouds were thin and wispy, not plump with rain. As Laura walked up the path from the shed to the house, she passed the vegetable patch. The air around it was heavy with the fragrance of the basil planted between the tomato bushes. There was a splash of water on the cement path – Jake must have watered the garden again.
Dumping her bag on the kitchen table, she opened windows, decided against changing her clothes and went next door. Skip’s kennel was empty, the chain in a tangle on the ground. His water bucket had been tipped over.
‘I took him back to the farm,’ a voice said. ‘Dad’s past it now, and it wasn’t fair, Skip being chained up all day.’
‘Hello, Jess. How are you?’
Jess blotted her eyes with the back of her h
and. ‘I’m not sure. You know how it is. Sam and Mikey are at a friend’s place and I’ve been here since nine this morning. I had to get out of there for a few minutes. Dad hasn’t moved all day. Jake said he woke up about two a.m. last night, they talked, and then he closed his eyes and he hasn’t opened them since. He’s coughed a couple of times, and I think his breathing has changed, almost like he’s run out of puff.’
‘That’s how it happens.’
‘I know. It’s slow but quick, if you know what I mean.’
‘I do. How’s Jake?’
She shook her head. ‘I dunno. He doesn’t say much. I hope they got to sort things out. If they didn’t, I’d say it’s too late now.’
Laura murmured her agreement and went into the house to find Jake. She couldn’t wait to see him. He was in the sitting room, next to his father. The room was cool, the air conditioner humming away quietly. Jake’s eyes crinkled at the corners when he saw her.
‘You’re home.’
‘It was a busy day as usual, and I sneaked out the back door so no-one could bail me up to chat.’
‘Sorry I missed your call. Phone was on charge and I forgot all about it.’
‘Never mind.’ She went to the bedside, picked up one of Neill’s hands, shocked to see it was mottled, the nail beds blue. It was only twenty-four hours since she’d seen him.
‘Hello, Neill,’ she said softly, watching his face for any sign of recognition. Nothing. Jess was right, his breathing was slower, more irregular, gurgling through the pooled secretions. She laid his hand back on the bed and glanced at the syringe pump pinned to the sheet. There was a portable suction unit on the floor beside the bed.
‘The nurse left that today. Not sure either of us is game to use it.’
‘I can if we need to. Are you okay?’
He pushed his hand through his tousled hair, stared at his father. ‘Dad and I got to talk a bit in the early hours.’
The Doctor Calling Page 28