“Won’t…” Griffin had to sigh. “Won’t is right. Dying like that…in the way that you did…it fucked with your mind. You don’t love Stephany, you never did. Somehow you’ve convinced yourself that you do though.”
A hand clamped around his throat. Lance’s eyes had that crazed look.
Oh fuck! If Lance killed him again so soon, he doubted he could come back a second time.
Thank blood that almost as soon as his hand closed around his neck, Lance released him again.
The other male’s chest heaved. “Why do I feel the way I do? Why am I so fucked up? I almost feel worse. A year later and I’m worse than fucking ever.”
“You need a female. Someone else to focus on…to love. You need to stop with the rutting.”
Lance shook his head. “No one can take her place. No one is good enough.”
Griffin was tempted to remind the male that he hadn’t felt anything for Stephany during their entire mated life. It was Stephany leaving and Lance dying that had changed things. Griffin would find a way to help the male. He was convinced that the right female could do that.
“Go to Tina.” Griffin croaked, sounding worse than ever. His throat was so dry and his fangs throbbed.
“I told you, I don’t want the—”
“Not for you…for me.” Griffin said between clenched teeth. “I really need to drink.”
Lance smiled. “I wish I could help you.” He shook his head. “None of the humans will come anywhere near me after today. Thanks a lot for that.”
“Don’t blame me. It’s not my fault you’re a dick.”
“I’m…” He growled a word that sounded something along the lines of sorry. “Zane showed me some pictures.” His jaw ticked. His eyes took on this haunted look. “Stephany’s children. The twins.” He shook his head. “He said that he hated to see me this way. Stuck in the past. She chose that beast…a fucking mangy wolf…” A muscle in his jaw ticked.
“It wasn’t some kind of competition. You need to stop beating yourself up.”
Lance nodded. “I’ll send one of the vampire females. I know plenty that would love to have your fangs inside of them. I’ll be sure to rut her first since I know how much you love my leftovers.” He laughed.
“Fuck you!” Griffin smiled despite the growl in his voice. It was good to see his friend laugh. It had been too long since Lance had laughed and actually meant it. Maybe the human females were good for him after all. Though he knew that focusing on one of them would be way better.
Chapter 3
The big vampire strode ahead of her. He glanced back every so often. Sarah assumed that it was out of politeness rather than from having to keep tabs on her since vampire senses were so enhanced. He had introduced himself as Kai.
“Don’t look so concerned.” The big man grinned at her over his shoulder.
Sarah tried to smile. It felt forced. Her whole body was tense. She could seriously do with a hot bath and a massage.
“Griffin is fine,” he said.
“He was dead, so I highly doubt it.” This whole thing with Jenna being missing was also playing heavily on her mind. As well as her disgust at herself for sleeping with Lance. She had been wrong to think that she could change him.
She wanted to think of him as an asshole but she couldn’t. If she really thought about it, he had been nothing but honest with her. Sarah had flirted with him and for once he’d actually noticed her. It felt so good that she let herself get swept away. When she’d suggested going someplace more private he’d declined saying that he wasn’t interested in long term.
He’d told her that he could tell that she wasn’t the type of female that could handle a casual fling. A one night stand.
As soon as it was over, Lance had practically kicked her out. It turned out he was right. She’d been fooling herself to think that she could keep her feelings separate. It didn’t matter, she was leaving tomorrow anyway. No more vampires for her. Sarah was done.
She had so badly hoped that one of them would see her and fall instantly in love with her. They had warned them in the training that vampires were intense. That they generally knew immediately if a woman was the one. They would then go after her with dogged determination. That woman would become their everything. She so badly had wanted to be that and in turn to feel the same way about her partner. To love and be loved. She wanted a soul mate. Sarah had been so sure that her future was here. Call it a gut feeling, call it crazy. It turned out that she was wrong.
Oh well! She had tried. It was time to go back to her old life. Maybe there was a run of the mill, human guy out there for her. Sarah tried not to sigh loudly at the thought. There was nothing wrong with human men per se, but once you had a vampire you didn’t go back. You couldn’t go back. There was just no way.
“I assure you that he is doing well. Once you have seen him you can put your mind to rest.” Kai smiled.
Sarah nodded. “I guess I’ll feel a bit better once I see him for myself. Did he really call for me?”
The vampire gave a single nod of the head. “Yeah. He wants to thank you. He, like the rest of us, thinks that you are really brave. Don’t do it again though.” He frowned. “Those guards are in big shit for letting you get past them. I wouldn’t be surprised if they are going to be whipped.”
“Please tell me that you are joking.” She felt her eyes widen.
The big guy shook his head, looking solemn. “Not at all.”
“That’s terrible. Who can I speak to in order stop it? It would be my fault.”
The guy frowned. “It wouldn’t be your fault. They did not perform their duty and you could’ve been injured or killed. They must face up to that and will do so willingly. I doubt that they will receive more than a handful of lashes each. No big deal.”
No big deal! What? Sarah’s jaw dropped for a few seconds. “Oh well then, that’s not so bad.” Sarcasm dripped from every word.
The vampire didn’t seem to notice. He nodded like he was agreeing with her. “Here we are.”
They were underneath the castle. It felt like they had walked endlessly down the labyrinth of passages. It turned out that there was just as much going on under the vast structure as in the castle itself.
“Please don’t leave me here. I doubt I would find my way out on my own.” She made a nervous little squeak. “You would have to send out a search party. I might never be seen again.”
The guy chuckled. “I’m not going anywhere. Even if you did get lost, we would find you in no time.” He pointed to his nose. “Here we are.” He walked up to a door at the end of a long corridor.
Sarah moved in next to Kai. The vampire knocked twice. He waited all of three seconds before pushing the door open.
Her eyes zoned in on the bed. Sarah knew she should look away but couldn’t. Her legs suddenly felt jellified so she stayed right where she was, out in the hallway. Her eyes glued on the naked vampire.
Griffin sat on the edge of the bed, facing towards her. His legs were splayed. He clutched the corner of a sheet to his…man bits. The bulge between his legs was barely covered and then only by a thin layer of cotton. She forced herself to look away from his splayed fingers.
Muscles, muscles and more muscles. It never ceased to amaze her how buff vampires were. Pecs, biceps, abs, they all popped even though he wasn’t exerting himself in any way.
God, even their forearms were beautiful. There was something about a man with really good, strong forearms that got her blood flowing. As attractive as vampires were, they were also highly sexual and slept around second to none. It was one of the reasons she was looking forward to leaving tomorrow. Just like plenty of the other women, she had been convinced that Lance was the one for her. She thought that if they made love then he would fall for her. Look at where that line of thinking had gotten her. Kicked out into the hall while the sweat was still wet on his brow, before she’d had a chance to catch her breath.
Griffin smiled as soon as his eyes locked with hers.
Oh wow! He was a good looking guy. Then again, they all were. A dangerous bunch if you asked her. Too sexy for their own damned good. Bring on tomorrow. Bring on normality.
“Come on in.” His smile widened. He glanced at the woman at his side.
Sarah noticed her for the first time. It was like she had been temporarily blinded by all that exposed muscle. She would miss the eye candy when she left tomorrow. It was for the best though. She was actually starting to look forward to going back to her quiet apartment. To her kids. Sarah was a pre-school teacher. Children were so uncomplicated. So honest. They loved unconditionally. She looked forward to being surrounded by their smiling faces, by all that innocence.
Sarah finally got her legs to work and walked into the room. It was clearly a medical facility but it looked like it was straight from the medieval times. There were rows of jars and pots filled with all sorts of strange looking things. Herbs hung upside down from the roof. She could smell them. A mortar and pestle sat on a table in the corner.
“Thanks, Eleanor.” Griffin’s voice was unnaturally raspy. There was a scabbed over line across his throat. A reminder of how Lance had sliced him open in cold blood. She shivered.
“Don’t overdo it.” The woman said as she dropped a sponge into a steaming bowl of water. It looked as if she had been giving Griffin a sponge bath. Now that she was closer, Sarah could see that the woman was older. She had a few gray hairs at her temple and her eyes wrinkled at the corners. It was mainly her eyes that gave her away, they shone with wisdom.
“Good to see you back in the land of the living,” Kai said, his focus on Griffin. “I’ll wait outside.” He turned back to Sarah and nodded once before heading out the door and closing it behind him.
“You’ve got five minutes.” The woman looked at Sarah. She had a stern expression on her face.
“I’m fine,” Griffin rasped. How voice was raw.
“You need rest.” She sighed. “How many times have I told you how bad dying is for you?” She shook her head. “One of these days you won’t come back. How many times have you died so far?”
Griffin shrugged. “I don’t know…” He paused lifting his eyes in thought. “Ten or eleven?”
“Eighteen.” Eleanor put her hands on her hips. “Eighteen times. It’s the most deaths I’ve witnessed by a vampire. If you were a cat you would be on your last life for the second time round. Not even a cat would still be alive.”
Griffin chuckled. He looked over at Sarah and pulled a face before looking back at Eleanor. “Good thing I’m not a cat then.” He smiled. “It’s not like I do it on purpose.”
“You need to take it easy. I’m going to have a word with both York and Lazarus about this. One of these days you’re going to stay dead. You need to be careful over the next few weeks especially. You’re going to feel fine but you’re not. It takes time to properly heal, if you die during this period…” She shook her head, her expression changing from stern to something softer.
The older woman was worried. That much was clear.
Griffin reached up and took the woman’s hand. “I’m glad that I have two people that care for me.”
She pulled her hand away. “I’m doing my job. It would tarnish my record if you died on my watch.”
He reached up and grabbed her hand a second time. “Rubbish. Just admit that you care, Eleanor. In many ways, you are the mother I never had.”
She cocked her head. “Just listen to me please, Griffin. Think of me as a mother if it helps but do as I say either way.” She gave him a quick pat on the head. “Don’t get any ideas about getting me to do your laundry or doing any of those others things that mothers would do though.” She tried to look stern but her mouth pulled up ever so slightly at the edges and her eyes twinkled.
Griffin shook his head and chuckled. “Sheesh! I sure know how to pick um. Two people who care for me refuse to show it. Oh well. I know deep down you really do, Eleanor. You might deny it but you care and you are so the mother I never had, and do you know what?”
Eleanor looked like she was about to say something but shut her mouth instead.
“I am the son you never had. It’s just the way it is.”
She made a noise that told Griffin he was full of it but Sarah could see that the older woman was blushing and trying hard to hide a smile. She finally huffed out a breath. “I’ll be back in a few.” She left the room, looking flustered.
His full attention turned to her and the room seemed to shrink. “Come over here. I won’t bite.” Griffin focused on her. “Pull up a chair.” He didn’t seem in the least bit embarrassed that he was still pretty much naked. He didn’t try and cover up.
“Um…thanks.” She did as he said.
“I said I won’t bite.” He grinned, gesturing at the space between them. His nostrils flared as she pulled her chair closer. He frowned for a brief second before his smile was back. “As you can see, I’m fine. You were worried I wasn’t going to come back.”
She smiled and nodded. “It was horrible.” She shook her head as she recalled his death. “Your eyes rolled back. You sucked in a deep breath and then your chest stopped moving. You just lay there. I knew you were dead.” She felt her lip wobble as she relived the moment. It was awful. To watch someone die like that and not be able to do anything.
Sarah jumped as his hand brushed her arm. “I’m fine,” he rasped. “Thank you. My memory is hazy but I can recall how you defended me. How you tried to stop the bleeding. You are brave and courageous. A female with honor.”
She shook her head. “No…I’m a big baby. I’m not sure what came over me. I just reacted.” She swallowed thickly. “I’m scared of spiders. I sleep with a nightlight on. I really don’t know what came over me. I can’t stand bullying though…it’s one of my pet peeves. Lance is…” She grit her teeth. “He’s got problems.”
Griffin’s eyes widened. “Lance told me that none of the human females would speak to him. Do you feel differently? You”—his nostrils flared again—“spent the night with him.”
Griffin wasn’t asking, he was stating a fact. Sarah shifted in her chair. She felt her cheeks heat. “It was sex. There was no spending the night. He was with someone else this morning. What of it?”
Griffin rolled his eyes. “Doesn’t waste any time, does he?”
Her heart pinched. She hated that Lance had this effect on her. She hardly knew him. Had, had sex with him once. Hell, she didn’t even like him that much after today yet the thought of him tossing her out and moving on to the next one still hurt her.
He shook his head. Griffin leaned over and grabbed a pillow, putting it over his lap. “I noticed you didn’t call Lance names. Everyone else I’ve seen since…we fought earlier…has had choice things to say about the male.”
She sighed. How had this conversation turned to Lance? She couldn’t seem to escape him. “I know what you mean. The other women pretty much hate him after what he did to you.”
“But you don’t?” Griffin leaned forward resting his elbows on his thighs. It put them at eye level with one another.
“I don’t like what he did. It was wrong…terrible, but I try not to judge people so easily.” She sucked in a breath. “I feel sorry for him. I’m glad you’re okay. I wish you all the best.” She made to stand.
“You see his pain.” Griffin raised his brows. “I can see that you do.”
She nodded. “It doesn’t excuse his behavior.” Sarah was done talking about Lance. It just made her feel like an idiot. “He’s damaged goods. I thought that maybe…never mind.”
“No. Please,” Griffin croaked. He put a hand to his throat and swallowed.
“Lance is an asshole. I don’t know what happened to make him the way that he is. I feel sorry for him. I think he pulls a lot of the shit he does to punish himself. What he doesn’t realize is that he is hurting others in the process.” She pointedly looked at his healing wound before lifting her eyes to his gaze. Warm, eyes the color of dark chocolate. They twinkled w
ith mischief.
Sarah sucked in a breath. “I’m a school teacher. I’ve seen my fair share of bullies over the years. The thing is...” She bit down on her lip. “The bullies are often the ones that are most in need of help. Lance is your typical bully type. Like I said, he has problems…big ones.”
Griffin smiled. “You are a good person, Sarah. You see deeper than just the surface. Most people don’t have that ability. If it makes you feel better, Lance feels very bad about what happened.” Griffin smiled. “He’ll never openly admit to that but he does feel really bad. He is beating himself up over it. Although he can be an asshole, he is a good person inside.” He paused. “You still like Lance…despite everything. I think you still have feelings for him, don’t you?”
She shook her head. “No. I don’t. Last night was a huge mistake. I don’t really want to talk about it.” Did she still like Lance? No way! She liked the idea of Lance. The idea of getting through to him. Of having his intense gaze on her everyday…only her. No! He was beyond help. Damaged goods.
Griffin nodded. “Thank you for trying to help me. For the record…” his jaw clenched. “I’m normally a better warrior than that. We weren’t supposed to”—he shook his head—“never mind. Don’t get between fighting males again.”
“I don’t plan to. Try not to die again.” She smiled.
Griffin chuckled before breaking out into a coughing fit. When he finally got himself under control, he looked at her through watery eyes. “Why does everyone seem to think that I do it on purpose?”
“I don’t know, you tell me?”
He shrugged his big shoulders. “I’m the youngest elite. I didn’t get onto the team by dancing around like a fairy during fight sessions. I got to where I am by putting myself out there. By taking risks. So I died a few times in the process.” He shrugged. “We mostly come back.”
“Mostly?” She could hear how shocked she sounded.
He nodded. “Silver causes complications and dying too soon after a recent death is also a no no. Combine the two and you’re a goner for sure. Most guys are not prepared to die. To put in the extra effort. To go through all the pain…I was and it paid off. I made the team. I haven’t died in a while. I’ve learned how to be one of the best. I would go through all of it again to get to where I am if I needed to.”
A Mate for Griffin Page 3