by Reese Morgan
It was far too unusual for Kieran to seek out specific company.
Something passed between Kieran and Julian before the latter nodded and retreated without a word. Hayden watched her brother depart, on edge and uneasy. Her mind automatically brought her to a dark place.
Did something happen to Nicolas?
“Hayden.” Kieran walked deliberately towards her. “You don’t look well.” His eyes pierced through hers. “I was present after you came out of Celeste’s compound. I was also present when Cole and Nicolas argued over the best treatment for you.”
Hayden lifted her chin, her body washing cold upon his admittance. After Zane Donovan escorted her out of Celeste’s compound, she’d went into shock. It wasn’t her proudest moment, then again, she didn’t remember much.
She especially didn’t remember the extent of Cole and Nicolas’ argument.
“When was the last time you saw him? Slayter?”
The question took her off guard.
“I haven’t.” She paused. “Seen him since.”
Kieran nodded aloofly and looked away to study their surroundings. He looked good. Younger than she remembered, though werewolves were indefinitely young. His wild hair was tied to the nape of his neck, bringing attention to his masculine features.
Though the experience of war was evident across his body, he seemed at ease.
“Do you agree with Cole’s method of separating the two of you?”
Hayden shifted uncomfortably. “I wasn’t aware that was the case.”
He clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “As if Nicolas would stay away from his mate voluntarily. Cole has banned him from his territory. I understand the concept behind his request, though I am not seeing any results. I relayed as much to Nicolas.”
Her pulse hammered uncontrollably.
“You’ve… spoken to him?”
“I have,” he replied simply, his eyes refocused on her. “I have my own observation, now I’d like to hear it from you. Have you found any sort of peace? Any sort of closure?”
Her initial reaction was to tell him how ridiculous that question was. Of course she’d found peace here. Her surroundings were beautiful and having the pack close reassured her.
Having Cole reassured her.
They were so good to her, so considerate and understanding.
Yet…
Hayden glanced at Kieran, recognizing a fellow warrior and a commanding authority. If anyone would understand, he would. He would not judge and she would not feel as if she were disappointing him, as she’d feel with Cole.
“I feel like I’m living in a dream,” Hayden confessed. “I can’t find my footing on something that’s not real to me. I can’t help but wonder what’s out there. I’m constantly watching and waiting for something to happen.”
Kieran appeared unfazed, almost as if he’d expected to hear her confession.
“The werewolves were able to implement enough damage control to quiet speculation of our existence to the humans,” he said. “However, whatever remaining of Celeste’s puppets still wander aimlessly and seek to destroy anything in their path. Nicolas is one of the wolves I’ve assigned to eliminate any trace of her taint. He and I spoke briefly and I have agreed to come here and deliver his invitation to you.”
Kieran’s confession pierced through her cloudy veil of awareness and shook her back into reality. “He asked you to come?”
“Of course.” He nodded. “I believe it would be in your best interests to go to him.”
The idea seemed utterly ludicrous to her. Travel up north to Nicolas? Live in the wild? Hunt down potential threats and eliminate them? It was exactly what her nightmares were about, yet there was something oddly reassuring about the scenario.
She’d be ridding the world of more danger.
She’d actually be out there eliminating threats instead of waiting for them.
Hayden licked her lips, her mind racing. “Does Cole know?”
A very small, inconspicuous smile crossed Kieran’s lips.
“I will speak with him.”
* * * *
“I know you aren’t fond of goodbyes,” he said. “But I hope you were planning on speaking to me before you left.”
Hayden had sensed him coming long before he made his presence known. She stuffed another change of clothing into her bag before turning and facing him. Her eyes drank in his form, obsessing over his face, or more specifically, his eyes.
They looked at her despondently, yet there was a resigned acceptance.
Cole had kept his distance after they’d returned to Albertville. He tried to read her cues and adapt. If she wanted distance, he’d detach himself. If she wanted silence, he wouldn’t speak. If she needed a companion, he’d be there in a heartbeat.
He was accommodating and generous.
Hayden loved him, though another kept her thoughts constantly preoccupied. Nicolas was the one she’d always think of first, and that, in turn, was not fair to Cole.
“I was going to see you,” she reassured, partly a lie.
She’d written him a note, just as she wrote a note to each member of the pack. She didn’t want to say goodbye to the others, knowing they would not take her absence very well.
Cole’s mouth quirked as if he knew of her blatant lie.
Nonetheless, he settled against the wall and observed her closely. “I’ve been contemplating things with such obsessive detail these past few months,” he confessed. “I’ve made many wrong choices with you from the very beginning and I take full responsibility for where you and I are now.”
Hayden sighed, her heart heavy. “Cole.”
“We’ve both been negatively affected by the notion of lifemates, Hayden, but I’ve come to accept the idea.” Cole crossed his arms over his broad chest. “It is fate’s way of saying we are meant to be together and I firmly believe that.”
She shouldered on her bag, feeling as if she’d lose control again.
Her throat felt raw, scratchy, her eyes too sensitive.
“However,” he started, his demeanor shifting into something unreadable. “I respect your decision to be with Nicolas right now. I think he will be good for you during this transitional period. It may take years, maybe even decades, but I know we will come together again. I refuse to give up on us, especially when we never gave it a chance.”
Hayden stepped up to him.
She touched his arm and he readily curled a hand around hers.
Over the past few months, their bond slowly began turning back to normal. Hayden assumed it had changed initially due to Celeste’s serum altering the chemical makeup of his body. Since then, he slowly weaned off its effects and their bond regained normalcy.
Hayden could feel his thrumming presence within her.
The notion of lifemates frightened her more than it ever had. After witnessing Celeste and Logan, Hayden didn’t know if she ever wanted that sort of bond.
However, it was not the time to make such decisions.
“I don’t want you to wait for me, Cole. You deserve happiness.”
Cole smiled bitterly. “I will take that into consideration, Hayden.” He tightened his hold on her, as if wanting to prevent her from leaving. “In the meantime, I want you to check in with the pack often. He is also welcome here.”
He leaned down and Hayden closed the distance.
Their lips met innocently enough, yet on Cole’s end, it was heavy with promise.
Hayden smiled sadly and withdrew.
Her fingers ran down his cheek and stroked the stubble across his jawline. Unable to stand in his presence much longer, she ducked in the hallway and hurriedly left the pack home, least she decide to change her mind.
* * * *
The regrets and the guilt came crashing down hours into her travel.
Kieran offered to drive her further north, but Hayden declined. She wanted time for herself as she’d rarely received it the past few months. Yet, the longer she dwelled within her own mind, the lo
uder her regrets turned.
Leaving Cole behind proved far more challenging than anticipated.
With each mile of separation from him, Hayden felt a miserable nagging in the back of her mind. Her strides grew heavy, her mood darkened, and then she wondered if she was doing the right thing by leaving.
What if her attraction to Nicolas no longer existed?
Months had passed, perhaps her bond changed with the eldest Slayter.
Hayden brushed aside the rain in her eyes, slowing down to a leisure walk. Since her departure, she’d alternated between sprinting and jogging and had crossed into Canada’s wilderness over an hour ago.
The rain had started just ten minutes ago, but it was heavy and humid.
She adjusted the hood of her light coat, leaning against a neighboring tree to tighten her boots. Her body trembled madly with fatigue and hunger.
Aside from her practicing swordsmanship with Julian, conditioning her body and pushing it to the limit fell wayside after the war. She fell out of practice and it ashamed her that running proved challenging.
Nicolas was going to have a conniption.
She would not put it past him if he assigned her conditioning drills.
Hayden closed her eyes, pressing the back of her head against the tree. Her senses strained with disuse as she stretched her awareness far into the woods. She’d practiced identifying her surroundings on Cole’s property, but it was not the same.
Cole’s property lacked danger. It lacked the unknown.
Her features furrowed as she heard prey further in the distance. When it was not winter, prey often had a higher chance of escaping detection. Their footfalls did not crunch loudly upon snow, but rather the moist soil cushioned their skittish and cautious approach.
In the warmer months, scent often proved the only means of detecting prey.
Or predators.
When the air was humid, aromas flourished and warmed, scenting the air and adding to the plethora of odors. She smelt the moist, muddy soil, the mature leaves, and the broken bark of a fallen tree.
Her senses purred with satisfaction.
She was in the wild and its presence was entirely soothing.
Her frazzled nerves gradually quieted. Being out in the wild wasn’t nearly as frightening as she imagined it would be. This was where she belonged. Her nightmares had exaggerated the shadows and colored evils where they did not exist.
Inhaling, Hayden caught trace of an icy, earthy smell.
A very familiar scent.
She stiffened at his presence, not hearing him, but smelling his proximity. Her pulse hammered in her chest. Her previous worries about her attraction to Nicolas lessening after months of separation abruptly crumbled.
Just his mere scent alone set her body aflame and her senses haywire.
Adrenaline caused her limbs to tremble.
He was here.
Her eyes opened slowly, spying him standing across from her. Seeing him, in all his cold perfection, ignited a sharp awareness within her that she hadn’t felt in a long while. His stare was relentless and Hayden felt her strength solidifying, her mind sharpening.
Reality never seemed so clear and concrete.
Nicolas watched her steadily. His expression was rather inexpressive, though even he could not fight off the small flicker of contentment upon seeing her.
“I didn’t think you’d come.”
Hayden nodded slowly, still dazed at his presence. “It seems as if many people wrongly assume what I should and shouldn’t do these days.”
“Haven’t you heard?” Nicolas took a step closer, bringing with him a sense of completion. “Other people assume they know what’s best for you, Hayden.” His eyes finally tore away from her face and looked at her body. “You haven’t been taking care of yourself. You’re as thin as you were living in the wild.”
Hayden exhaled shakily as he closed the distance.
His large hand covered her cheek and she pressed into him, nuzzling his palm. She took his wrist captive, demanding his contact with selfish greed.
Appeasing her, Nicolas leaned down to her level and sheltered her from the rain.
His nose lightly traced over her cheekbone and his lips followed soon after. His free arm wrapped around her waist, holding her close. He held her there, his lips suspended over her cheek and his forehead butting against hers. Hayden surrendered to him, leaning into his solid form and absorbing his strength for herself.
They stayed there, both silent, both understanding.
Her eyes closed as she inhaled him. She’d missed him.
“Let’s get you dry.”
Nicolas pulled away, allowing Hayden to keep hold of his hand as he led her through the trees. She did not relinquish his hand, marveling at its sheer size and strength.
He brought her to a small cabin nestled in the thickness of trees.
“I thought we were going to travel further up north,” Hayden wondered aloud. “Kieran mentioned Tobias and a group of other puppets were sighted—”
Nicolas’ growing smirk caught her unawares.
“For tonight, I believe we can enjoy the rest of the evening. Tobias and the puppets can wait. They will be there in the morning. Besides, you need to be retrained.”
He released her hand in favor of jamming his shoulder against the door to get it open. With a groan of protest, the door, crafted finely from heavy oak, finally opened and Nicolas ushered her inside.
Hayden walked inside the small cabin, throwing off her hood and unfastening her coat. Nicolas was there, pulling it from her shoulders and tossing it on top a neighboring chair. Her attention refocused on him.
“Retrained…?”
He exhaled once in hilarity. “Don’t think I didn’t notice your exhaustion.”
Overlooking her flush of embarrassment, Nicolas brushed by her and approached a fireplace. He took possession of a matchbox laying on the mantle before fluidly lighting a match and throwing it into the prepared hearth.
Pupils dilating, Hayden watched as the small flame gradually grew larger as it crawled over the dry wood and expanded its reach.
Though it was summer, and rather mild outside, the growing heat soothed her and began the task of drying off her damp clothes. She moved a bit closer to the fireplace, relishing the sounds of cracking wood and sizzling embers.
“I made this.”
Nicolas’ confession had her turning towards him. She noticed his averted face as he stared into the fire, his high cheekbones appearing vividly pronounced.
“The fireplace?” she inquired.
A soft smile graced his lips. “The cabin. Many years ago with my father. It’s not finished yet.”
His admission had her blinking with disbelief. She turned and looked at the rest of the cabin, having overlooked the majority of it in her haste to escape the rain. Dark beams dressed the ceiling and wood, rustic with their lack of polish, adorned the floors.
There was well-crafted wood everywhere and exposed stone on the walls.
It was a small cabin with a small kitchenette. The grand fireplace took up the majority of the cabin with its majestic stones and large hearth. She admired it.
Hayden turned back towards Nicolas, astonished.
“You built this?” She smiled. “You don’t strike me as a craftsman.”
In a typical-Nicolas fashion, he expressed his humor with a soft exhalation. He kept his eyes averted, as if reluctant to admit he accomplished such a feat. “We are immortal. We have all the time in the world to learn new skills and create our own designs.”
His blue eyes suddenly turned to her, emphasizing his point.
She was quick to pick up his insinuating, recognizing it as a subtle reference to the Crow Syndrome. Hayden stiffened at the mention of her family’s illness, her father in particular. She looked away, towards the eye-burning orange flames.
She didn’t know how much Julian shared with Cole and Nicolas regarding the events in Celeste’s compound. Hayden hadn’t to
ld Cole anything besides the basics.
Recollecting that day, Hayden knew a part of Logan remained sane until the end. That stable part of her father had recognized his wrongdoings. By sacrificing himself, he had silently reached out to Hayden, urging her to understand his regret.
“Building things will oppress the inevitable?” Hayden whispered, cynical.
“It’s only inevitable if you believe it to be,” Nicolas countered.
She looked at him and he looked challengingly back. Her resolved started to dissolve in face of his stern, unsympathetic expression. Anyone would fear that gaze, yet she experienced an exciting thrill at his intense concentration.
“I don’t want to bring you down with me.”
“Unlikely, my dear.” His stare softened and he seemed darkly amused. “It will take many years for you to pose as a negative influence on me.”
She did not appreciate his self-cynicism. “Julian told me that you saved his life. And you saved the lives of other werewolves the night the Hunters attacked.”
Hayden’s eyes absorbed Nicolas’ skeptical expression.
“You don’t give yourself nearly enough credit, Nicolas. I admire you.”
He stared into the flames, entirely unreadable.
“It’s time to let go of your mother’s death,” she whispered, gaining confidence and finally telling him what she’d always wanted to say. “You are not the villain anymore and you don’t need to live up to those expectations.”
Leaning his arm against the mantle, Nicolas rubbed his mouth against his forearm, his eyes distant. “You are…” he trailed off, the corners of his eyes creasing with gentle fondness. “Everything.”
To me.
Pushing off from the mantle, he reached for her. His hands settled on her hips and he pulled her closer, towards his circle of exclusive protection.
Hayden leaned forward, knowing she’d never get tired of this.
“What will we do after we eliminate Tobias and the puppets?” Hayden asked quietly.
“There are many things left to do.” Nicolas placed his chin on top of her head. “I will do as I once did. Band the newborn rogues together and give them a sense of direction and duty. Keep them out of trouble with the Hunters.”