by Laura Ward
I blew out a breath. “We don’t have to. I don’t want to rush you if you want to wait.”
Ben chuckled. “I never wanted to wait.”
“Oh really?” I let the sass drip into my tone and grinned at him. “It’s another super-hot, tatted-up bass player that’s been telling me no night after night?”
Ben lifted our hands and kissed the back of my fingers like I was precious. “That was me. But trust me, the last thing I wanted to do was tell you no. But I knew I had to.” He pressed his forehead to mine like he could see into my soul. “I needed to know you were ready to have me for more than one night, and you needed to know I wasn’t going to want you for only one night, but every night. And every morning after.”
Something foreign and comforting swelled in my chest. Not quite love, but the feeling of being wanted unconditionally, despite my faults.
“Of course I want you for more than one night. Who else am I going to read all my smut stories to?”
Ben gave me an indulgent smile. “I know that I’m not the typical guy, Jules. I come with...baggage,” he said.
“I want your baggage,” I assured him.
“It’s so easy to fall for you.” He reached up, his fingers finding my chin before his thumb slid up and over my lips, caressing the edge of my smile. “You’re funny.” His hand moved to the back of my neck to tangle in the ends of my hair. “You’re smart.” He pulled me forward until the only thing between our lips was our breath. “And you challenge me.”
He kissed me with a teasing touch of his tongue along the seam of my mouth and I chased the kiss as he let it fade back into words.
“Most people know I’m blind and they treat me like I’m lacking. Like I’m missing a piece that makes me whole. But you—” he chuckled. “Jules, you treat me like I’m the piece that you’re missing. You make me feel like I’m the part that makes you whole.”
“You do,” I whispered.
“I think about you constantly.” Ben’s hand moved across my shoulder and down my back, urging me into his lap where I straddled him so we were facing each other. “I imagine what I want to do to you and how I want to make you feel. I don’t want to imagine it anymore.”
My body flushed with desire and I slowly licked my lips. Normally, I would stare into my partner’s eyes as I licked my lips, knowing what guys would picture me doing with my mouth. It was a seduction tool I had learned worked.
But Ben couldn’t see me do that.
My eyes were hooded with want.
But he couldn’t see that.
I looked down. I was wearing a tank and boy shorts. My nipples were hard and poked through the thin fabric of my shirt.
Ben couldn’t see that, either.
How could I make this night good enough for him when he couldn’t see what he did to me? The way I looked had always been such a big part of sex and seduction. How could I be sure I was going to be enough for him when I was totally out of my league?
Ben squeezed my hand. “I sense you hesitating. What’re you thinking?”
Damn. He was good at that. “I’m afraid I might not be worth the wait. You...you’re perfect. And you’re right. You’re the piece I was missing. It’s only...what if I’m not enough for you?”
Ben’s lips pursed together as he thought. Then he shifted me out of his lap and stood up. “Come with me.” He unfolded his cane and held out his hand.
“What? But I thought we were having a no-pants party. Where are we going?” I asked, slipping on sweatpants and a sweatshirt.
“My place. I have an idea.” Ben found his way to my door and waited while I put on shoes and grabbed my keys. “I want you to see what I see,” he said.
***
I sat on Ben’s bed, watching him. When we entered, he only switched on one overhead light, the room dim as he moved around, his hand trailing over items to find his way, his cane a warning for anything that might trip him. Ben lit a stick of incense, filling the air with a smoky, sandalwood scent. Then he turned on a Bluetooth speaker, and soft, sexy music filled the room.
“Take off your sweats.” Ben ordered as he pulled off his long-sleeved shirt.
That chest. I wanted to memorize it. Lick it. Pay homage to it.
I threw my clothes to the side and Ben tossed his shoes in his closet and then grabbed something off the shelf that he stuffed into his back pocket. He walked closer, his feet padding on the wood floor. He sat down on the bed, turning to face me and I mirrored him, crossing my legs underneath me.
“You trust me, right?” Ben’s voice was low and rough.
I nodded for a second before whispering. “Yes.”
Ben reached into his back pocket and pulled out a tie.
Hello, kinky man. Me likey.
Ben fastened the tie over my eyes, securing it snuggly behind my head.
“Is it fully covering your eyes?” he asked.
“Yes,” I whispered again. The blackness was jarring, and I reached in front of me, feeling Ben’s leg to make sure he was right there.
“Can you see anything at all?” Ben questioned.
He was quite thorough. “Nothing. Total darkness.” My heart beat faster in my chest. This was wild.
Ben chuckled. “Welcome to my world.”
Oh. Not so much kinky. This was a lesson of sorts.
Ben brought his hands to my face, pulling me closer to him. I felt his lips plant soft kisses on each corner of my mouth. My lips parted and I gasped. The contact was unexpected but lit me up inside. His kisses were sporadic. I never knew where to expect them. He kissed my nose, cheek, the shell of my ear and my neck. My body felt like a live wire, alert and attempting to predict where he would brand me next.
“Without your sight, you’ll find your other senses heightened.” His lips were at my ear, his voice warm. I shivered, goosebumps forming on my skin.
He nipped at my earlobe and I inhaled sharply. “What do you smell?” he asked.
I took a few deep breaths. “Incense. Sandalwood, I think. And you. You smell like soap and cologne.” My fingers ran up his back, running across his smooth skin to find his neck and I dragged my nose up, reveling in the smell of him, one that I instinctively knew was his and his alone, but had never recognized it for what it was before.
Ben grunted. “Good girl. And you smell like the beach. I’ll never smell coconut again without getting a hard-on.”
I giggled. I kind of loved that.
“Now,” he said, reaching up to trace the edge of my ear and tuck my hair behind it. “What do you hear?”
“Music. Coldplay? And I hear you. Your voice is sexy as hell.” He made a noise deep in his throat and I smiled. “You grunted, so I hope that means you’re as turned on as I am.”
Ben traced the tip of his tongue along my lower lip and everything south of my belly button clenched with need. “So fucking turned on. You can’t imagine how badly I want you, Jules. I can’t wait to feel your tight little body under my hands.”
I whimpered at his words.
“When I listen to you, I can always tell what kind of smile you’re wearing. And you’re almost always wearing a smile, usually the naughty kind. I could lose myself in your voice, Jules.”
Ben’s mouth found mine and he kissed me deeply. We had kissed so many times, but never without my sight. His lips were soft but strong. His tongue was masterful, playing mine like it was a guitar. Stroke by stroke increasing in rhythm and speed and demand. In the darkness, I focused on every sensation in my mouth. I had never had this kind of physical reaction to lips and tongue alone. It was as if I had the best buzz going and each cell and particle in my mouth was on fire. From him. From Ben.
As we kissed I listened to him inhale through his nose. His breathing was increasing in speed as well. My hands found his chest and I placed my palm over his heart, feeling the rapid beats.
He was as turned on as I was.
Ben broke our kiss, but I wouldn’t pull away. I leaned forward to keep kissing him because it f
elt too good.
He spoke around our kiss, my mouth on his. “And what do you taste?”
“You.” I pressed my lips to his. “Only you. You taste like mint. So good.” I pecked each corner of his lips like he had done to me.
“And you,” he spoke gruffly, “I could live off the taste of you and never get hungry.”
I stilled. That might be the best thing I had ever heard. Seduction could be Ben’s middle name.
He slid his finger under the strap of my tank and moved it back and forth, the calluses on his fingertips rough against my skin. “I’m going to take this off now, Jules. Okay?”
A strange, high pitched, “Mmhmm” was my verbal agreement. Meanwhile, my mind was yelling: Yes! Off with these rags! Naked dance! Nudey time! So I figured less was more in this instance.
Ben held the hem of my tank in each hand, pulling it over my head. The sound of it hitting the floor registered in my ears before I felt him. His large, warm, guitar-callused hands circled my breasts, caressing them as if they were priceless.
“Oh God, Ben,” I bit out. Him touching me when I was in the dark and couldn’t see him was almost too much to handle.
“Shhhh,” Ben admonished.
Without warning, the unexpected feeling of a hot, wet, thick tongue on my nipple was nothing short of mind-blowing.
My axis tilted. I felt like I was tumbling down. Falling, falling, falling for him.
As if he knew the impact of his touch, he alternated between the two, sucking on one nipple while his fingers rubbed the other. Back and forth, back and forth, bringing pleasure to each tip.
“Fuck. Too much. Too good.”
Could I orgasm from boob contact alone? It sure felt like it. Titgasm. That’s exactly what he was about to give me.
Ben sucked harder, pulled faster, twisted and turned, and I tensed, holding my breath and releasing it in a long moan as my body shuddered under his touch.
Before I could process what had occurred, Ben was removing my boy shorts. I lay there like I’d run a marathon and the prize at the end had been the world’s biggest, earth-shattering orgasm.
Get it together, girl. Your world cannot be the only one rocked. This is Ben for fuck’s sake. Bring it.
I sat up on my knees, more aware of my naked state than I normally was around guys, which was crazy since neither of us could see my naked body. I placed my palms on Ben’s chest, registering his rapid breathing.
“My turn, bass boy.” My voice sounded throaty to my own ears, and I grinned.
Ben stopped moving but shifted onto his knees. I unbuttoned his jeans, pushing them down, and guided him onto his back. Ben allowed me to take the lead, even though I was clumsy without my ability to see. It suddenly made me appreciate how effortless he made everything seem.
I pulled his jeans over his ankles before leaning over to press my lips against his in a long, smoldering kiss that left me tingly.
With that burst of electricity still racing under my skin, I moved on to his boxers. Before removing them, I placed my palm over the fabric, feeling his hardness under my hand. Ben jumped. I leaned up and placed my mouth to his ear.
“I’m gonna make you feel so good, Ben,” I spoke quietly, softly, but I hoped, honestly. Because I meant every word. I intended to worship him and show him how much he meant to me. How much he had changed me.
Ben’s abdominal muscles clenched as he sat up with me, his biceps tightening as he clutched me. “I need you. Tonight. And every morning after,” he reminded me.
My heart cartwheeled, fucking cartwheeled inside my chest.
I need you.
Had anyone ever needed me? Deep down it was the one thing I truly desired.
I didn’t respond, but as I pulled down Ben’s boxers, understanding hit me square in the stomach. This was what Taren felt. What Alexis experienced. No, not the huge cock of a sexy bass boy, although that was good too. No, they knew what it was like to matter to someone and to have that person truly matter in return.
And oh, how he mattered.
I ran my hand up his length, squeezing him. Dear God, he felt beautiful. Although I couldn’t see him, by touch alone I knew he was long and thick, hard, his skin like velvet.
“Jules,” Ben pleaded.
I bit my lip. I loved knowing I got to him. That I affected him like he did me.
Without a word, without warning, I leaned over and placed my lips on the tip of him, lingering a few seconds before engulfing him in one swift plunge of my mouth. I could only imagine the sensation. Nothing. Darkness. And then wet, hot, bliss.
Ben choked out, “Jules…”
I grinned as I licked and sucked, tasted and gripped. His hips bucked up, driving him deeper into my mouth. Like he couldn’t control himself.
When he was panting, pleading my name, ready to lose control, I stopped. I crawled up his body, dragging my tongue across his stomach as I found my way upward, circling his nipples, before reaching his mouth and sucking his lower lip.
“Never. It’s never been like this before.” Ben gripped my face in his hands and kissed me back aggressively. He held me gently, but firmly, so he could keep his mouth on mine. When his thigh moved between my legs, my body automatically moved to rub against him, wanting to be closer.
My world might be dark, but I was on fire, nothing but his naked skin against mine, our bodies arching against one another.
“Please,” I gasped.
His hand reached down between us, rubbing and circling, forcing another shuddering orgasm out of my body before I knew what hit me. Unintelligible sounds tumbled out of my mouth and I was pleading again for more. More of him.
Ben flipped me onto my back and pulled away. I panicked at first, thinking he’d changed his mind. When he nudged my thigh to the side with his knee and I heard the rip of foil, I knew he had slipped on a condom.
I was ready. I wanted to be filled. Consumed. By him.
Ben held off at first, the tip of him teasing me. His mouth found mine, parting my lips, asking for permission without words.
“Please,” I begged, unashamed. My hands found his ass and I tugged him closer, pulled him further.
And there he was. With me. In me. Moving. Slow at first. And then harder. Faster. Thrusting. I couldn’t see him, but I heard his grunts and moans, mixed with my pleading.
I couldn’t see him, but I tasted him. His kisses, his breaths, the salty sweat I sucked from his skin.
I couldn’t see him. But I felt him. He tensed before he came, his muscles tightening, his breath stalling, his body jolting and shuddering with his release.
I couldn’t see him as my eyes clenched shut, but bursts of color, fireworks, and explosions, shot behind my lids as I came with him.
I saw him now. Not the drop dead sexy bass boy with hard muscles and gorgeous ink, but a man who cared about me. A man who wanted my pleasure as much as his own. A man who knew some of the ugliest parts of me but wanted me anyway. He didn’t care how I looked or about the size of my tits. He cared about how I loved and the size of my heart. His feelings for me were absolute and the realization of that fact had me breathless. Stunned beyond words.
In one night, Ben had taught me that sometimes it took a little darkness to allow us to really see what was in front of us all along.
Chapter Fourteen
Julie
We grabbed breakfast at the bagel shop on the way to The Shell. Ben had an early rehearsal so my hope that we would get to spend all day in bed was a pipe dream. The band was looking into getting a demo done and the new song they’d been working on was one they wanted to add to their set list.
Staying and listening would’ve been great, but Ben said I’d be too much of a distraction. I was thinking to myself that maybe I’d pretend to leave and stick around to listen anyway, but Ben knew me too well.
“I know what you’re thinking, Jules. I’m not the only one who can get distracted. As much as I’d love to have you within arm’s reach all day, we need to get this wo
rk done.” He used my hand to pull me to him, and reached up with the other, his fingertips grazing my cheek. “I’ll see you tonight, okay?”
His voice dropped low when he said that, and I knew it was more than the same “see you later” other people used. It meant a repeat performance of touching and kissing and sexing.
Hot damn. I wanted to see him right now.
He leaned down to capture my mouth with his, kissing me with so much heat I was sure he’d scrambled my brain. When he let go and gave me a parting smile, I knew he’d completely unraveled my motivation for the afternoon. No way was I going to get any schoolwork done with the remnants of that kiss on my lips.
And that’s how I ended up on Darren’s doorstep twenty minutes later.
“Jules!” he said, opening the door for me. “You’re right on time. I was just thinking how much I needed a good rub down.”
I raised my eyebrow and smirked as I dropped a brochure onto his lap. “How about I give you a good beat down in Exploding Kittens at Board and Brew instead? Donuts are on me.”
Darren gave me a strange look and picked up the brochure I’d given him. “I understood about half of what you said, but whatever it is, it sounds dirty and I’m totally down for that.”
I laughed and pointed at the paper in his hand. “Board and Brew is a new cafe on Route 1. They sell pastries and coffee and have hundreds of board games on the shelves that you can play for free. Whatever your inner nerd boy craves. The girl at the counter said Exploding Kittens is a popular game they just got in.” I dropped into a crouch in front of him, so he didn’t have to look up to see me. “Please? I need some straight talk. Plus, I miss you.”
Darren’s eyes narrowed as he looked at my face. “You’re all flushed. And shiny.”
“I walked all the way here,” I said defensively. “It was hot and so you know, I’m not sweating. I’m glistening.”
“That’s not what I meant. You’ve got this”—he motioned with his hand toward my face—“kind of...glow.” He tilted his head scrutinizing me for a few seconds before his eyes flew wide open. He lifted his hand, pointing at me with a bent finger. “That’s sex glow. You had sex! With bass boy!”