by Blake, Tessa
I did say that; it’s true. We were jogging this same road, actually, and I told him that I felt like things were really going my way. Track going well, grades good. Loved my TA job.
Not so enamored of it the last couple of days though.
“You’re right, damn it.” I stop and bend over a little, catching my breath with my hands on my knees. “It’s making me fucking crazy, Jake. She’s making me fucking crazy.”
“How so?”
“She was in class yesterday afternoon. Now that I know she’s there, I can’t look at anything else. And fucking Curt was sitting right there with her, as I’m sure you could have guessed.”
“I got the distinct impression she didn’t like him. Is she trying to make you jealous or something?”
I shake my head and start off again, keeping it slow so we can talk without getting out of breath. “No, I don’t think she’s like that; I think he just keeps bugging her because he wants to get into her pants.”
That thought makes me want to go find Curt and punch him right in his smug fucking face, so I try not to think about it.
“Have you considered getting there first?” Jake says, doing that eyebrow thing. “The early bird is worth two in the bush.”
I try—and fail—to imagine what he could even think that means, then shake my head. “Sure, I considered it. Hell, I did a lot more than consider it—when I didn’t know she was my student.”
“I’m still arguing that she’s not your student, exactly—”
“I grade her papers.”
“Then don’t,” he says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world.
“It’s my job.”
“You’re saying if you went to Professor Callahan and said he needed to do grades for this one student, he wouldn’t?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” We stop at a corner and wait for the light. “That’s what a TA is for.”
“Yeah, but—”
The light changes and the Walk signal comes on. “No buts,” I say, starting across the street. “I’m not changing my mind.”
But he’s planted that little seed. What if I could ask? What if someone else could take over that part—just that one small part—of my job?
We jog in silence for a few minutes, then I can’t help myself. “Do you really think that would work?”
“How should I know?” Jake says. “But it can’t hurt to try, can it?”
“Maybe not?” I’m so unsure about this. “The weird thing is, I barely know her. Am I really going to do an ask like that to Callahan over a girl that might turn out to be totally incompatible with me?”
He shrugs. “Well, she’s gotta be, what, a foot shorter? So that right there says to me that you’re not compatible. I mean, how would you even—”
“We’d manage.” As if I haven’t imagined a good dozen ways just so far this morning. She’s under my skin, bad. “I’m not talking about that, and you know it. But like ... being cute and sexy and nice, at least on the surface, that’s not really enough to know if we’d be any good outside of the bedroom. You know?”
“You weren’t even good in the bedroom.”
“Who said we weren’t good?”
“You did, Mr. Chivalry.”
“I said we didn’t have sex. But we were doing just fine, my friend. Don’t worry about that.”
He slaps a hand theatrically against his forehead. “Radical thought: you could, you know, do what you want instead of worrying all the time.”
“I do what I want,” I protest.
“Sure. Sure you do. That’s why you’ve had stars in your eyes for two days, but you haven’t called her or anything. That’s what people always do when they’re doing what they want.”
“Shut up,” I say. But he has a point. This isn’t just some wild pheromone thing. If it was, I wouldn’t have been thinking about her every minute since she walked out the door.
“No, you shut up,” Jake says
“Are you a child?”
“Slow and steady spoils the child,” he says, sagely. Or it would be sage, if he wasn’t such an idiot.
I ignore it. “Okay, yeah. That’s what I’m going to do. I’m going over there to talk to her. We can figure something out. We have to figure something out.”
“Sounds like you’ve got a pretty big thing for her, dude,” Jake says.
“Shut up,” I say, and pour on some speed to pull ahead of him.
Jake meets me downstairs after my shower, freshly showered himself and wearing a navy blue shirt that I know he thinks makes his eyes look blue. A ladykiller, that’s Jake.
“What are you doing?“ I ask.
“I’m going to come to Mi Alpha with you—“
“You absolute fucking are not,“ I tell him. “I really don’t need a chaperone, or a babysitter.“
“I’m not either of those things,“ he says indignantly. “I’m actually hoping to run into that sexy cat lady from last night.“
“Did you guys—“
“No.“ He scowls. “Not for lack of trying, but she went easy on the beer and headed home shortly after you and Alyssa staggered upstairs for whatever shenanigans you got up to.“
“I told you—“
“Yeah, I know what you told me. Captain Chivalrous screwed himself instead of the girl.“ He laughs, then shuts up and clears his throat when I glare at him. “Not important. Did the right thing. Good for you!“ And he moves quickly around me and down the hall to the front door.
“We’re gonna look ridiculous showing up together like Mormons looking for converts,“ I say.
“We’re not even wearing ties, dude.“ He opens the door and gestures me through ahead of him.
I start to tell him that I was just being figurative, but why bother?
It’s a relatively short walk to Mi Alpha, and before I know it we’re heading up the walkway to their front door. I brush at my hair nervously. I really need a haircut.
A girl I don’t recognize—tall, with red hair—answers the door and leans against the doorjamb, looking us up and down. “Who do you want?“ she asks.
“Alyssa,“ I say, just as Jake says “Michelle.“
“Wait here.“ She shuts the door.
We wait as directed, for several minutes. I start to wonder if maybe they’re not going to come down to see us, which would be pretty embarrassing. That would be one hell of a walk of shame, back to ADP without even getting a chance to talk to her.
Finally, the door opens, and a tall, slender blonde is standing there. The infamous Michelle, I presume, since it’s clearly not Alyssa.
“Hey,“ she says, smiling when her eyes light on Jake. “What’re you doing here?“
Jake jerks his thumb at me. “This guy was coming over to talk to Alyssa, so I thought I’d tag along and see how you were doing.“
“I’m doing great,“ she says, her smile widening. Her eyes flick over to me. “Alyssa’s not here though.“
“Oh.“ I try not to be too disappointed. “Okay, I’ll—“
“She’s over at working on her room at the haunted house.“
I blink. “What?“
“I told you,“ Jakes says. “There’s a haunted house later this month.“
“We’re using a house our president’s family owns, that big old abandoned mansion? Stacy says they want to sell it, but who would ever buy it?“ She shrugs. “It’s a wreck.“
“It’ll make a great haunted house, though,“ Jake says. “Dev, you should go over there and see if she needs any help.“
“I don’t know. Maybe—“
“No, you definitely should,“ Michelle says. “You already made her wait long enough.“
“Oh.“ I don’t know what to say to that.
“So get going,“ she says. “You want to come in and wait for them to get back, Jake?“
“Whatever you like,“ he says. “Six of one, six of the other.“
I can’t believe he thinks he’s fooling anyone, but okay.
M
ichelle gives me directions. It’s not far, so I set out on foot. Time to go talk to my angel, and see if she can forgive me for how I acted the other morning.
Alyssa
I almost fall off the stepladder when I hear his voice.
“Hey,“ he says, from behind me. “Need some help?“
I turn, slowly, and look at him as he approaches the ladder. He’s in jeans and a lightweight green sweater several shades darker than his eyes. “I wouldn’t say no,” I tell him. “Even the stepladder only helps so much.”
I’m trying to hang black sheets on all four walls of my designated room at the mansion. Each of us girls is responsible for decorating one room in the haunted house, and my theme is heaven and hell. So I figure I’ll do the room up dark and demonic, and I can get some more mileage out of my angel wings.
I think I’ll go with a white t-shirt and leggings, though. That skimpy costume wasn’t me, not the real me. And something about it turned me into kind of a skank, which would be funny if it weren’t so tragic that I can’t even remember it.
Dev’s standing right beside me now, and, hilariously, I’m only a few inches taller than he is, even though I’m on the stepladder.
“What do you need me to do?” he asks.
“I’m hanging these all around, so you can’t see the walls at all.” I tug on the fabric, only to find, to my horror, that it’s wrapped around my own ankle. I wobble, and think I’m going to fall, but Dev reaches out to catch me.
We stand like that for a moment, then another, not saying anything. His hands are strong and firm on my hips, and his eyes never leave my face.
“You never came back for your costume,” he says.
“I …” Unsure what to say, I look away. “I had something I had to take care of first.”
“Oh?” He raises an eyebrow.
“Yeah.” I don’t elaborate. I’m not sure I should. What if it’s too much? We don’t know each other well. I don’t want to seem … weird. I don’t want to frighten him off.
He lifts me down from the ladder and takes the box of thumbtacks I hand him. I watch as he climbs up and starts tacking the sheets up. He gets right into the corners, which I appreciate. It will make the whole thing look so much better if there are no gaps.
I’m not sure what I’m going to do about the ceiling. Maybe a custodian has a ladder tall enough to get up to the high tin ceiling.
I start arranging the orange lights I brought. Behind the sheets, they glow in a way I hope looks hellish.
The problem is, I’m not really sure what to do with the rest of the room. It’s basically empty; the only thing in here is a heavy old metal desk, probably from the 1950s or something, right next to the stepladder Dev is using.
So it’ll be dark and fiery, but then what? Can I get this desk out of here, or should I try to use it for something? And for what? Is Hell an office from the 50s? That’s pretty lame.
“The lights look nice,” Dev says.
“Thanks.” I step back and take in the effect of four lights lined up behind the sheets along one wall. “I didn’t get the sheets hung properly there,” I say. “You can see the white walls up near the ceiling.”
“Stop frowning,” he says. “I’ll fix them once I’m done with these ones.”
“You don’t have to—”
“I want to,” he says. “I want to help you.”
“Why?” I ask. It’s a fair question. “You practically threw me out the other day, when I hadn’t done anything wrong.”
He descends the ladder, leaving the last few sheets draped over the top of it.
“I know I did,” he says. “And I’m sorry. I … I really value my job. I don’t come from money. It’s how I stay in school—that, and my scholarship.”
“I didn’t mean to—”
“I know.” He sighs, and leans one hip against the desk, then runs his hand through his hair. “Look, what happened … it was great.”
“If you say so.”
That gets a smile out of him. His smile is easy and charming, and he’s got dimples, deep ones on either side of his mouth.
“I say so,” he says. “I wish you could remember.”
“Me, too.” I say. And it’s true. It might be the only night we have, and it’s erased from my life like it never happened. “Are you ever going to tell me the exact details?”
He looks at me evenly. “I think that might be a bit more than I could bear, Alyssa.”
My pulse quickens. There’s something in his eyes…
“What do you mean?” I say, inching closer, keeping my gaze locked on his. “More than you could bear, how?”
“If I talk about that, I’m going to want very badly to do it again.” He stays where he is, leaning against the desk, as I move a little bit closer. “And you haven’t been drinking. There would be no reason for me to stop.”
“That sounds a little bit like a threat,” I say. My heart is pounding.
“It’s a promise,” he says, softly.
Two final steps put me in arm’s reach, and I stop. “I want to hear it.”
So he tells me.
“I took you upstairs like you asked,” he says, shifting so he’s half-sitting on the desk, then taking hold of my wrists. He pulls me close to him, so that I’m standing between his legs. “I touched you—everywhere. I peeled off all your clothes, and tasted the skin underneath. I licked your pussy, and listened to you beg for more. I felt you come all over my hands and mouth.”
“Oh.” Be careful what you ask for, I guess. Holy shit.
“My cock was there, right there, ready to slide into you, and I’ve never wanted anything so much. You were so hot, so wet. Your pussy was so tight around my fingers.”
This is the most erotic thing that has ever happened to me in my life. I’m shaking, and my panties are drenched. My nipples are hard under my shirt, and I want to rub myself against him like cat in heat.
“But I wanted you to want it—to really want it.” He slides his hands up under my shirt, brushes his thumbs over my ribs. “You said you wanted it, but you weren’t in your right mind. And I can’t blow your mind if you’re not in it, can I?”
“What if … what if I wanted it now?” I ask. My voice is trembling.
“If you wanted it now,” he says, “I’d give it to you.”
“Dev,” I whisper. “That’s what I want. It’s what I’ve wanted this whole time.”
He cups my face and kisses me, tenderly at first, then a little harder. “You have to really mean it,” he says. “Because this is a big deal, Alyssa. I don’t know why, but I just know this is a big deal. I don’t want to play with you.”
“I don’t want to play with you either,” I say. “I just—oh god. I think …”
“What?”
“I think I fell in love with you, a little bit,” I say. “That morning, when you were so nice, when you were so honorable. And even when you were telling me you couldn’t be with me. Because it was just you trying to do the right thing.” I wrap my arms around his neck and press myself against him. “I bet you always try to do the right thing, don’t you? I can just tell.”
“By Jupiter, an angel,” he breathes. “Or, if not, an earthly paragon.”
“What’s that?” I ask. “Is that Shakespeare?”
“Cymbeline,” he says. “We don’t cover it in Intro.”
“About that—”
“Be quiet,” he says, and kisses me again, not coming up for air till we’re both breathless. “Whatever happened to you that morning, it happened to me, too. Somewhere between your ability to handle a hangover like a trouper and your willingness to believe I didn’t take advantage of you, I fell a little, too. And I want … I want us to give this a shot.”
“Okay,” I say softly. It’s crazy, absolutely nuts. And it’s right. I can feel it in my bones. Whatever is happening here, Dev’s right: it is very much a big deal. “You should know—”
“I’ve been thinking about it for the last two days,” h
e says, “and I decided that if I have to give up my TA job, that’s what I’ll do.”
“What?”
“I know, that sounds crazy, but it’s just a job. I can find another TA job, or some other work study. Hell, I could get a job off-campus if I had to.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Of course I don’t. But I will.” He kisses me again. “If I get to come home to you afterwards, who cares where I work?”
“No, no,” I say, pushing him off. “That’s not what I mean. What I’m saying is, you don’t have to quit your TA job. I went down to the registrar this morning and dropped your class.”
Alyssa
He just stares at me for a moment. “You dropped the class?”
“I did.”
“Don’t you need it?”
“Well, I need a lit credit,” I say. “I just switched to Romantic Poets. No one cared.”
“You did that for me?” His hands tighten on my waist.
“I did that for us,” I say. “Or, for the hope that there would be an us. I just wasn’t sure how to tell you. Or what to tell you.” I look away, a little embarrassed. “I thought maybe it would be too much.”
“It’s not too much,” he says, pulling me close again. “It’s exactly enough. It’s exactly right.”
I wind my arms around his neck and kiss him, putting everything I feel into the kiss. It’s absolutely bonkers that I feel this way. And it could be gone tomorrow, I suppose.
But I don’t think it will be.
Dev stands and sets me aside. I can literally feel myself pouting. Where is he going?
But then he crosses the room and locks the door, and when he gets back to me, he reaches up for the remaining unhung drapes and spreads them across the surface of the desk.
“It’s going to be hard,” he says.
“At least it won’t be cold,” I say.
“I wasn’t talking about the desk.”
He pushes me backwards so I’m half-lying on the desk, propped up on my elbows, and yanks my jeans off in three quick motions, then leans forward and covers my pussy, still clad in my sopping panties, with his mouth. I feel his tongue against the fabric and fall back fully, letting my arms fall to the desk above my head and closing my eyes so I can focus on what he’s doing.