‘No!’ The word burst out of Agnes, taking Lil by surprise. The heat from the fire was burning her face, but she kept on, willing this baby to live.
And then, suddenly, a miracle happened. The baby took a gulp of air and started to cry, a thin reedy cry that was the sweetest sound Agnes had ever heard in her life.
‘You did it!’ Lil’s voice was hoarse. ‘You did it, nurse. You saved her.’
Bess Bradshaw had attended some odd births in her time, but she’d never expected the scene that greeted her when she arrived at the bed and breakfast. Who could have imagined little Christine Fairbrass sitting up in bed like a princess, her mother at her side and her baby daughter in her arms?
‘Look at that red hair,’ Bess said. ‘She’s a Fairbrass all right!’
She caught Lil’s eye when she said it. The new grandmother’s expression gave nothing away. ‘Aye,’ she muttered through tight lips. ‘She is that.’
Bess looked at her sympathetically. Poor Lil looked dazed. If the sight of Christine with a baby in her arms was a shock for Bess, she couldn’t imagine what it must be like for the girl’s mother. ‘I’m only sorry I couldn’t get here sooner, to help with the birth,’ she said, and looked around. ‘Where is Miss Sheridan?’
Lil frowned. ‘I think Mrs Pettman’s taken her off to have a cup of tea and calm her down. You should have seen the state she was in. Shaking like a leaf she was. Mind you, I’m not surprised,’ Lil went on. ‘It was a shock to all of us.’
She glanced at her daughter when she said it. Her expression was still unreadable. Christine looked away, her face flushing.
‘Anyway, that lass was a proper heroine today,’ Lil said. ‘I don’t mind admitting, I was wrong about her, nurse.’
I reckon we all were, Bess thought.
She touched the baby’s soft cheek with the tip of her finger. ‘What are you going to call her? Have you decided yet?’
There was a silence.
‘I want to call her Lilian Agnes,’ Christine announced.
Bess nodded. ‘She’ll grow up strong, then.’ Lil said nothing, but stared down at her own rough hands.
After Bess had checked Christine and baby Lilian to make sure they were well, she and Lil walked downstairs together.
‘You’ll have to let your boys know there’s a new addition to the family,’ Bess said. ‘I expect they’ll be shocked, won’t they?’
‘I daresay they will, nurse.’
Bess sent her a sideways look. Poor Lil. Her face gave nothing away, but Bess could only imagine the turmoil she was going through inside.
‘And how do you feel about it all, Lil?’ she asked gently.
Lil frowned. ‘I dunno what to think,’ she said.
‘It’s not what you wanted for Christine, is it?’
‘No,’ Lil conceded. ‘No, it isn’t. But she’s still my daughter, when all’s said and done,’ she said bracingly. ‘And I’ll stand by her, whatever happens.’ She looked at Bess. ‘It’s what a mother does, in’t it?’
An image of Polly came to mind.
‘Yes,’ Bess said heavily. ‘Yes, I suppose you’re right.’
Chapter Forty-Six
As the year 1925 drew to a close, Henry Slater’s life seemed to be ending with it.
Bess spent every moment she could at the sexton’s cottage, for Finn’s sake more than anything. Henry had passed into a delirious state and had long since ceased to notice if she was there or not.
But Finn was a worry to her. He was constantly at his grandfather’s bedside, reading to him, sponging his face and wetting his lips, or else just sitting quietly watching him. Bess had taught him to carry out simple nursing jobs, and she knew the old man was in good hands when she wasn’t there.
But Finn didn’t seem to give any kind of care to himself. He went for hours and days without eating or sleeping, unless Bess was there to insist on it.
‘You’ll make yourself ill,’ she had warned him, but he only shrugged and said, ‘It doesn’t matter. Granddad needs me.’
Then, on the last day of the year, Bess arrived at the cottage to find a young woman washing up dishes at the kitchen sink.
‘Oh, hello.’ She reached for a tea towel to dry her hands. ‘You must be Mrs Bradshaw? I’m Isabel, Finn’s sister.’
‘How d’you do?’ They had the same grey eyes and black hair, Bess thought. But Isabel was pertly pretty, with none of her brother’s rough edges. Her hair hung in a shiny curtain to her shoulders, held off her face by a mother-of-pearl barrette.
‘Finn wrote to let us know about Granddad,’ Isabel said. ‘I came to see if I could help.’
‘Have the rest of your family come too?’
‘No. It’s just me.’ Isabel’s lowered gaze spoke volumes. ‘I expect my parents will come after …’
After he’s dead, Bess finished for her silently. What a charming family they must be, not to want to say goodbye to an old man who had been father and grandfather to them. Or to support their grieving son, come to that.
‘Well, it’s good that you’re here anyway.’ She smiled at Isabel. ‘I daresay your brother will welcome the company.’
‘Will he? It’s always so hard to tell what’s going on in Finn’s mind.’ Isabel’s pretty mouth turned down. ‘I don’t even know if he wants me here or not. He’s barely uttered a word to me since I arrived.’
‘Surely he wouldn’t have written to you if he didn’t want you to come?’ Bess reasoned.
‘I suppose not.’ She looked up, and Bess could see the tears glazing her grey eyes. ‘How is Granddad?’ she asked. ‘Really, I mean?’
‘He’s very poorly.’ Bess started the automatic response, but Isabel lifted her hand.
‘It’s all right, Mrs Bradshaw. I’m a trained nurse myself. You can tell me the truth. He’s going to die, isn’t he?’ Bess nodded. ‘That’s what I thought. I mean, Finn did tell us in his letter, but I must say I was shocked when I saw Granddad for myself … He doesn’t have long, does he?’
‘No,’ Bess said heavily. This was always a difficult part of her job, preparing relatives for the inevitable. Not that it was ever possible to prepare anyone for the loss of a loved one.
She looked at Isabel. The poor girl looked so downcast, Bess’ heart went out to her.
‘Let’s go and see him, shall we?’ she said quietly.
Finn was in his usual place at his grandfather’s bedside. Job lay beside him. The hound’s heavy tail beat up and down on the rug when he saw Bess but he didn’t move from his master’s side.
Bess let her gaze skim past him. She didn’t approve of dogs in a sick room, but Finn was adamant that Job should stay. Bess knew when she was beaten. Besides, the dog obviously gave Finn comfort, which he badly needed.
‘How is he?’ she asked.
‘No change. But I gave him a drink earlier, and he managed to sip it. And when I read the paper to him, he looked as if he was taking it in …’
Bess looked at the spark in the young man’s eyes. Even now, he was still clinging to any shred of hope he could find.
‘We’ve just given him a nice wash and put on some clean pyjamas,’ Isabel chimed in. ‘And I’ve taken his TPR,’ she added.
Bess suppressed her irritation. The girl was only trying to be helpful, she told herself.
‘Well, I’ll just do it again, to make sure,’ she said.
As she reached for the thermometer, Bess said to Finn, ‘And how are you, young man?’
He looked up, dazed at the question.
‘Have you eaten since I saw you yesterday?’ Bess pressed him.
‘I don’t know. It doesn’t matter anyway,’ he replied carelessly.
‘I’ve been trying to persuade him to go out and get some fresh air,’ Isabel said.
‘That sounds like a good idea.’
‘I don’t want to go,’ Finn said in a low voice.
‘But it will do you good.’
‘I told you, I don’t want to go!’ Finn rounded on hi
s sister. ‘I would never have sent for you if I’d known you were going to nag me!’
Bess saw poor Isabel’s mouth tremble, and stepped in quickly. ‘Why don’t you just go for a walk around the churchyard?’ she suggested. ‘Then you won’t be too far away if we need to fetch you back.’
Finn looked from one to the other, his expression mutinous. Then, without a word, he stood up to go.
When he reached the door he turned and said, ‘You will fetch me, won’t you? If – anything happens?’ His gaze was fixed on Bess as he said it.
She nodded. ‘I promise.’
He left, and Isabel turned to her. ‘Well,’ she said. ‘He certainly likes you.’
Bess frowned. ‘What makes you say that?’
‘I can just tell. He trusts you. And that’s a real compliment, because Finn hardly trusts anybody.’
I can’t think why he would, Bess thought. After the way she’d treated him, the last thing she would have expected was for Finn to like her.
Suddenly she felt awkward. ‘Come on,’ she said to the girl. ‘Since you’re a nurse, you can help me change this bed.’
They talked as they worked. Bess found out Isabel was twenty-three years old and worked as a nurse in Huddersfield, where their parents lived. But like Finn, she remembered spending her school holidays with her grandfather in Leeds.
‘I’m glad I managed to get here in time,’ she said. ‘I’ve always loved Granddad Henry. Not that I knew him as well as Finn did. He was closer to him than anyone. I suppose that’s why he came here after …’ Her voice trailed off. ‘Poor Finn. What’s he going to do when the old man dies? He’s going to take it badly, I know he will. And he’ll be all on his own.’ She chewed her lip worriedly.
‘He’ll have the rest of the family, won’t he?’
Isabel shook her head. ‘Hardly. Why do you think they’re not here now? They want nothing to do with Finn, not after …’ Once again, her voice trailed off.
‘After he was sent to prison, you mean?’
Isabel looked at Bess sharply. ‘Finn told you that? Goodness, he really does trust you, doesn’t he?’ she murmured.
Bess didn’t reply. She was too embarrassed to admit she had heard it all third-hand from a malicious curate. It really wasn’t like her to snoop into other people’s business.
‘So I suppose he must have told you the whole story?’
‘Well—’
‘Then you’ll know how unfair the whole thing was,’ Isabel went on, not waiting for a reply. ‘I do wish our parents hadn’t turned their backs on him,’ she sighed. ‘I know Finn can be a bit surly and difficult sometimes, but he needs them, even if he won’t admit it to himself. I’m sure they’d find it in their hearts to forgive him if they only knew the truth.’
‘The truth?’ Bess said.
Isabel blushed. ‘I thought you said you knew all about it?’
‘I know he’s done time in prison for stabbing a man.’
‘Oh Lord,’ Isabel said. ‘So you don’t know the full story after all?’
‘No,’ said Bess. ‘But why don’t you tell me?’
‘I can’t.’ Isabel bit her lip. ‘I swore to Finn I’d never tell …’ Her grey gaze fixed on Bess, as if trying to weigh her up. ‘But I suppose if Finn trusts you, then I should too.’ She was silent for a moment. Then she said: ‘Finn didn’t stab that man. Amy did.’
‘But I don’t understand,’ Bess said. ‘He confessed to the police. They found him standing over the body with a knife in his hand …’
‘Finn was the one who found him,’ Isabel said. ‘But it was Amy who did it.’ She paused, glancing around the room as if to check no one was listening. ‘I’m the only one who knows,’ she said in a low voice. ‘I thought Finn had told you, otherwise I would never have said anything.’ Her eyes flew to the old man in the bed, murmuring to himself, caught between one world and the next.
‘He won’t say anything and neither will I,’ Bess said. ‘Tell me what happened.’
Shakily, Isabel explained how their young sister had changed after she was attacked.
‘She was always jittery, couldn’t settle to anything,’ said Isabel. ‘She used to love to paint and draw, and play the piano, but suddenly she couldn’t sit down for more than a minute at a time. She was always restless, looking over her shoulder … And her temper!’ Isabel went on. ‘Overnight she turned from being the sweetest, most biddable girl you could ever meet to being – well, like a wild cat. She was ferocious.’
I’m not surprised, Bess thought. A shocking and terrifying ordeal like the one Amy had suffered would scar anyone for life.
‘My parents sent her to all kinds of doctors. There was even talk of sending her to the asylum.’ Isabel shuddered. ‘I know they wanted to send her away, but Finn talked them out of it. I don’t think he could bear the idea of Amy being locked up. But even he could see she was slipping out of control. She became obsessed by the monster who had – done that to her.’ Isabel chose her words delicately. ‘She would watch him, follow him … Finn was constantly searching for her and bringing her back home before our parents found out what was happening.
‘And then one night he went out looking for her and found her standing over his body. Amy didn’t mean to do it, I’m sure she didn’t.’ Isabel pleaded for Bess’ understanding. ‘She was so lost and fragile … Finn could see that too. He knew it would kill her if she was locked up, so—’
‘So he took the blame for it himself?’ Bess’ voice was hoarse.
‘He told Amy to run,’ Isabel said flatly. ‘He gave her enough time to get away, then he telephoned the police and confessed.’
‘And how do you know it wasn’t really him?’ Bess asked.
Isabel frowned at her. ‘Why would he lie about it, if he was going to take the punishment anyway?’ she reasoned. ‘And besides, you’ve seen him with Granddad. Finn might look tough, but he’s a gentle soul. He would never hurt anyone.’ A smile curved Isabel’s lips. ‘And if he had set out to hurt that man, then he would have finished the job,’ she said simply.
Bess was silent, accepting the truth of what she’d heard. ‘What happened to Amy?’ she asked.
Isabel’s smile faded. ‘That’s the truly sad thing,’ she said. ‘Finn took her place to give her the chance of a life, but instead she killed herself after he went to prison. I suppose she couldn’t live with the guilt of what she’d done.’
To the man who’d molested her or to her brother? Bess wondered. It didn’t matter, either way. Poor, tragic Amy was dead, and Finn had been punished for it. Meanwhile the monster who’d assaulted her was still walking the streets, a free man without a stain on his character.
The world could be a cruel, unfair place sometimes, Bess reflected.
‘Why didn’t you ever tell anyone?’ she asked.
‘Because Finn made me promise not to,’ Isabel replied. ‘Even now, he’s still protecting Amy’s memory.’ She smiled sadly. ‘That’s Finn. Poor, loyal Finn, always protecting everyone but himself.’
Bess left the cottage, promising Isabel she would return in a couple of hours. She also left strict instructions that the girl should telephone the district nurses’ house if Henry’s condition grew worse before then. From what Bess had seen, she didn’t expect him to make it through the night.
Finn was a distant figure on the far side of the churchyard, beyond the church, busying himself mending a fence that had come down over the winter. Job lay on the ground, watching him.
Bess paused by the lych gate to watch Finn at work. He had his back to her, swinging the sledgehammer, driving the loose fence posts back into the ground as if his very life depended on it.
Perhaps it did, she thought. He was putting all his rage, all his despair, and all his energy into each swing of the hammer, exhausting himself so he didn’t have to feel any more.
‘Hello, Ma.’
Bess was so absorbed in watching him she didn’t hear anyone approaching. She swung round and there was
Polly, her Polly, standing there, framed by the lych gate.
‘Polly!’
She looked pale, Bess thought. Too pale. Without her usual pink lipstick, her face was drawn and washed out.
But Bess didn’t think she had ever seen a more beautiful sight.
‘I went to Steeple Street,’ Polly said quietly. ‘They told me I’d find you here.’ She lifted her gaze, and Bess saw her lips tremble. ‘Oh Ma, I’m so—’
Bess didn’t even wait to hear what she had to say. Breaking all the district nursing rules, she dropped her Gladstone bag on the ground and flung her arms around her daughter. She felt Polly stiffen with surprise at first, her body as unyielding as a poker. But then, gradually, she began to relax and her arms went slowly, tentatively around Bess.
‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered.
Bess closed her eyes, for once not ashamed of the tears that squeezed between her lashes. ‘So am I, lass. So am I.’
She held on to her daughter, clinging to her fiercely. She didn’t count the seconds or look over her shoulder. She didn’t even care that she might make herself look weak or vulnerable, because she was. And it didn’t matter any more.
Lil’s words came back to her. She’s still my daughter … And I’ll stand by her, what ever happens … It’s what a mother does.
Finally Bess collected herself and released Polly, stepping back to wipe away a tear with the heel of her hand.
‘I’ve brought you a present,’ Polly said, holding out a small package.
‘For me?’ Bess frowned as she took it. ‘It in’t my birthday, is it?’
She unwrapped the package, aware of her daughter’s eyes on her. Inside was a small china pot.
‘It’s to replace the one I broke,’ Polly said.
‘You didn’t have to bother, I mended the old one—’Bess started to say, then pressed her lips together. ‘It’s lovely,’ she corrected herself.
Polly smiled. ‘Now you’ve got two,’ she said. ‘You could start a collection?’
‘I might just do that.’ Bess smiled back. ‘It might be nice to have a collection on the dresser. Two instead of one.’
‘Two’s always better than one,’ Polly said. ‘One’s such a lonely number.’
The Nurses of Steeple Street Page 36