Pride and Groom

by Gibson, Tannya

  "You look really nice," Lexi ventured. The tall woman was wearing Dockers and a pink Polo shirt. The clothes fit her very well, but Lexi noticed that the sleeves were a little tight.

  Zoe ducked her head before responding. "I'm scared to death I'm going to get smudged. I seem to attract grease and dirt no matter what I do."

  "I have a similar problem with hair and lint."

  Zoe laughed. "I wonder if it means anything that I chose a profession that puts me in touch with grease and dirt and you ended up grooming dogs."

  Lexi grinned and found herself with nothing to say. The silence was uncomfortable mainly because the only thing she wanted to talk about was her growing attraction, but she was afraid to bring it up. Glancing at Zoe from the corner of her eye she spotted the cigarette behind her ear. "So, what's the deal with the cigarette?"

  Zoe reached up and took it from her ear, rolling it gently between her fingertips as she spoke. "I'm trying to quit and sometimes it helps just to have it in my mouth. I'm down to five a day and I'm only allowed one more today so I'd like to put it off for as long as possible. I really needed one earlier and just having this was enough to get me centered."

  "I wondered what happened. You looked so confident and in control one minute and the next you weren't."

  Zoe returned the cigarette to it's spot and grinned down at Lexi. "Seeing you at the bar really threw me off."

  "Me?" Lexi was secretly pleased. "Maybe I should leave if I'm going to disrupt your game."

  "I'd rather see you than win."

  Lexi returned Zoe's bold gaze with a shy smile. "That's a sweet thing to say, but I'd like to see you win, too."

  Zoe pushed her hands deep in her pockets with a shrug. "I'll do my best."

  The alcohol in Lexi's system made her audacious. She watched herself reach out and run her hand slowly down the inside of Zoe's forearm. She felt the same softness over steel she remembered from the pizza parlor, but the skin seemed thinner here. Maybe it was that here she could feel tendons and ligaments. Individual muscles tensed and relaxed under her fingertips and Lexi tugged to pull Zoe's hand free of her slacks so she could study it. Zoe's hand was much larger than her own and seemed to be made almost entirely of sinew and bone. The skin was dry and callused and her nails were short and square.

  "Lexi."

  She could hear Zoe, but couldn't look up. "I don't remember you from high school," she blurted out.

  "Well, that's disappointing, but not unexpected," Zoe said quietly. "I was a nerd."

  Lexi raised the strong hand to her face and closed her eyes. "I found you in my yearbook. I saw the swim team photos, but I don't remember you." She held the palm of Zoe's hand to her cheek, aware of each finger and where it lay.

  "That's okay." Zoe's voice was deeper, more resonant. "I was a freshman and you were a senior. That's how high school is."

  "I've seen you at events over the years: dances and dinners. I didn't even know your name." Zoe's thumb traced her eyebrow and Lexi caught her breath.

  "None of that matters. I don't care about the past. I care about now."

  A clatter in the alley startled them both and they turned to see Cricket playing with a discarded plastic drink bottle. He threw it up in the air and chased it with his nose, making a terrible ruckus. Lexi drew Zoe's hand from her face and laced their fingers together. They continued walking after Cricket.

  "Have I ever, in all that time, been disrespectful or rude to you?" Lexi asked.

  "I asked you out once and you said no," Zoe grinned. "It was horrible. I cried all night."

  "Please tell me you didn't," Lexi begged.

  "All right, so I didn't cry." Zoe squeezed her hand gently. "Actually, we did meet once, a long time ago."

  "Is this a good story?" She looked up to see Zoe smiling fondly.

  "I started out my high school career by cutting orientation, so on the first day of school I was trying to find my classes by using the map they mail you in the registration packet. I got turned around on the stairs and was completely lost between 2nd and 3rd period. I was supposed to be in English, but I was wandering around by the sciences and you stopped to help me."

  "Are you sure it was me?"

  "Positive. Anyway, you threw my map away saying it would make me a target for the upperclassmen and explained how the different subjects were divided up and separated by the structure of the school. You walked me to my class and you didn't make me feel stupid. I never got lost again, but later that same day I saw another freshman getting teased over that same map."

  "I don't remember any of that." Lexi felt bad and somehow guilty.

  "Hey, you're supposed to feel good about yourself after hearing that story. It was the nicest thing anyone did for me in high school and I wouldn't trade the memory of it for anything. I knew that you didn't know who I was. At the time I didn't think I was worth remembering. I was a mess: I was struggling to understand why I felt so different and so alone. I didn't fit in my skin or in the world. I'm glad you don't remember me. I wrote horrible poetry and wore hideous clothes. I wasn't much fun to know until I realized I was gay and decided that it was a good thing."

  Lexi watched Zoe lift their hands and kiss the back of her hand. She could feel the brief pressure of those lips like a shock throughout her whole body.

  "Your grandmother was a lifeline for me. She listened to my poetry and my angst and made me feel not so stupid and ugly."

  "How did you know she was my grandmother?"

  "I didn't at first. I started out just going to watch you practice."

  "Why?"

  Zoe was quiet for a long moment. "Because you were nice to me once and I thought you were…cute."

  Lexi grinned at Zoe's discomfort. "Did you have a crush on me?"

  "You're going to tease me about this, aren't you?"

  "Nobody ever had a crush on me before," Lexi giggled. "I think it's sweet."

  "You know, I'm not fourteen anymore," Zoe warned.

  "True," Lexi flirted. "But somewhere inside this handsome exterior is a fourteen year old girl who has a crush on me and I'll tease her if I want."

  A huge grin split Zoe's face. "You think I'm handsome?"

  "Do you still think I'm cute?"

  They stood, daring each other with their eyes, until a door opened and the noise of the bar intruded.

  "Hey, Zoe!" A man's voice called out.

  "Yeah?"

  "They're looking for you in here. Liz took Rhonda four nothin' and you're up in ten minutes."

  "Thanks, Brian. I'll be right in."

  Lexi noticed that Zoe had placed her body between her and the door. Whether it was to hide her or protect her she didn't know, but she realized it didn't matter. It was a sweet and chivalrous thing to do.

  "You can go in and I'll take Cricket back to the car," Lexi offered.

  "You shouldn't be outside alone."

  "Don't be silly. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself." Lexi turned and snapped her fingers and Cricket came running, his leash trailing on the ground.

  "Okay," Zoe said. "But if you're not inside by the time the game starts I'm coming looking for you."

  "I'll be there," Lexi promised as she picked up Cricket's leash.

  "Lexi?"

  She turned back at the question in Zoe's voice.

  "How about a kiss for luck?"

  Lexi tried to sound normal, but her knees were knocking. "I'll kiss you if you win."

  "You don't understand how unlikely that is," Zoe protested.

  Lexi stepped closer and ran a finger over her lips. "How bad do you want it?"

  "Bad," Zoe breathed, her gaze intense.

  Lexi started walking backwards. "I'll be rooting for you."

  ~***~

  Zoe's eyes found her the instant she reentered the bar and Lexi wished she had kissed her when she had the chance. The people who remained to watch the final were clustered around the table so Lexi had a better choice of bar seats and she chose one closer to the acti
on. A woman her own age, but rounder of figure and rosier of feature was talking animatedly to Zoe and from their demeanor they were friends. Lexi wondered what they were saying and wished she could hear. It made her jealous to see someone else making Zoe smile.

  She ordered another drink while listening with half an ear to the woman who introduced the players and explained that since Zoe's opponent had fewer losses during the tournament she was allowed to choose who would break. No one seemed surprised that Liz chose to do the honors herself, but surprise was evident in the crowd when nothing went in.

  Lexi watched Zoe's bearing change as she walked slowly around the table. She looks like a predator…or the arrow readied for flight. Lexi held her breath as Zoe's long form bent over the table. She wondered if Zoe was aware of anything but the game. Taking her time and never lifting her eyes from the balls, Zoe sank one shot after the other. Lexi cheered as the eight ball fell into its pocket.

  Zoe unleashed a powerful stroke to break the formation on the second game and two balls, a stripe and a solid, went in. Zoe considered the table for some time before choosing the stripes. Carefully planning each shot Zoe again cleared the table and the crowd began to talk about the possibility of an upset. But on the break for the third game, all of the balls remained on the table.

  Zoe stood stoically to the side and waited as Liz began to play. Where Zoe seemed focused and resolute at the table, Liz seemed poised and delicate. There was an elegance to her playing that had to come from supreme self-assurance. With every ball that slid into its pocket, Lexi disliked her more. Arrogance seemed to emanate from her and Lexi felt it as a judgement on everyone in the bar, but especially on Zoe's ability.

  Feeling more than a little drunk, Lexi grabbed a napkin off the bar and wrote on it carefully so the paper wouldn't tear. Searching through her purse she found some lip-gloss and, with her back to the game, applied it to her lips and pressed a kiss on the napkin under the words 'For Luck'. She leaned over and asked the nearest man to pass it to Zoe, then watched it pass from hand to hand around the room. It found it's way into Zoe's hand at the same time that Liz won her first game. While everyone else was clapping and Liz was coolly ignoring their applause, Zoe opened the napkin and chuckled. The timing was perfect and Lexi was pleased to see that Liz was discomfited by it.

  Zoe looked straight at Lexi and slipped the napkin inside her shirt next to her heart before resuming her pose with a lighter expression. Tickled with herself, Lexi relaxed against the bar and just enjoyed watching Zoe's long body in action.

  Control over the table began to shift more frequently now as Liz won 2 more games and Zoe tied it at 3 each. Early in the seventh game, Liz surged ahead and showed signs of clearing the table when she banked her last solid a little too sharply and had to relinquish control. Zoe smoothly took over and in short order was sighting on the 8-ball. Lexi began to sweat as the tension peaked. Zoe gently stroked the cue ball and it nudged the eight into the side pocket. Lexi felt a surge of elation, then dread as the cue ball rolled just a little too forcefully down the table, hovered on the brink, then fell into the corner pocket.

  ~***~

  "You guys are looking at this all wrong," Zoe interrupted.

  Lexi sat across from Zoe with several other very disappointed people around the table. An argument was underway as to whether Liz had won or Zoe had lost. The only name she remembered was that of the woman who had been talking to Zoe prior to the match. Zoe had introduced her as Cantina and named her as Best Friend.

  Zoe had her cigarette between her fingers, but it was still unlit. "You're right that Liz didn't take the win from me. I gave it to her by celebrating just a moment too soon. Liz wins as often as she does because she has the mental discipline it takes to stay focused until the trophy is in hand." She lifted the second place trophy before locking gazes with Lexi. "I started thinking about what I was going to win before I won it and that loss of concentration took it away from me."

  The trophy was set down and Zoe folded her arms on the table. "What you fail to realize was that I played the best pool of my life tonight and for a moment, I had her. Never in a million years did I think I could win, but look at what happened. Not only did I give her the match; I ran the table two games in a row! I've never done that before."

  "You were brilliant!" Cantina patted her on the shoulder.

  Zoe smiled at her. "I was. I admit it."

  Lexi joined in the laughter and teasing. She was quite drunk now and a little uncomfortable with so many new people. She waited until the others were concentrating on each other and carefully made her way to the bar.

  "Do you have aspirin?" she asked when the bartender came.

  "How many?"

  "Better make it three, and some coffee." Lexi took a deep breath but it didn't clear her head at all. She felt someone's arm against her own and swung her head to see Zoe grinning at her. "What?"

  "You're really wasted, aren't you?"

  Lexi leaned back to see her better and almost fell off her stool. Zoe caught her around the waist and steadied her. "Yes," she stated as clearly as she could. "I am very drunk. I have not been drunk in a very long time. Have I embarrassed myself?"

  "Not yet," Zoe laughed. "There's still time though."

  "Don't let me look stupid in front of your friends," Lexi begged. "Promise me?" Zoe's hand ran down her back and left a trail of heat.

  "I promise." Zoe held her hand out. "Give me your car keys and I'll go get Cricket while you finish your coffee."

  "Oh no," Lexi moaned as she dug in her pocket. "I forgot about Cricket. I'm a bad mother."

  "You're not a bad mother, Lexi. Stay here and I'll be right back."

  Lexi had just swallowed the aspirin when a hand clamped on her shoulder and Cantina sat down next to her.

  "Hey, are you all right?"

  Lexi hung her head as if in shame. "Nothing a baseball bat and a good night's sleep won't fix."

  "Where did Zoe go?"

  "To get my dog. He's been locked in the car since before the final. I forgot he was out there and now I feel like a bad mom."

  "It's only been about an hour and a half. He'll be fine."

  Lexi watched her as she ordered another beer. "Can I ask you a question?" At her nod she continued. "Is Cantina really your name?"

  "Sort of. My little brother got confused when he was small and it just stuck. We think he heard my friends asking 'Can Tina come out and play?' Or 'Can Tina come over to my house?' And he got it in his head that Cantina was my name."

  Lexi laughed. "It's kind of cute. Is that what I should call you?"

  "All my friends call me Cantina. I always feel like I'm in trouble when folks call me Tina, but whatever you're comfortable with is fine by me."

  "I like Cantina."

  Lifting her beer Cantina took a long swallow. "Do you have a nickname?"

  "Not really." Lexi suddenly pictured Freddie. "I have a friend named Freddie who calls me Pelirroja."

  "Ooh! That's pretty. It sounds Spanish."

  "I'm never sure with Freddie. He claims to be part Mexican but sometimes he makes up words. He says it means 'red headed girl'."

  "Pelirroja." Cantina rolled the name around with her tongue. "I like it."

  Lexi took a drink of her coffee. "Have you known Zoe for a long time?"

  "Hmm," Cantina thought for a moment. "Six or seven years, I guess. We were housemates for a while when she moved here from New Mexico. You knew that she was in New Mexico for a while, right? She answered my ad in the paper for a roommate and we lived together for about a year and a half until I got married and had my twins. We've been friends ever since."

  "Twins?"

  "You want to see pictures?" Cantina asked hopefully.

  Lexi nodded and let her pull out a handful of photo's featuring two beautiful and completely identical little girls. The bartender freshened up her coffee on his way by and she smiled and laughed as Cantina talked about her babies. Zoe came back after a bit wearing a jacket an
d Lexi grinned at seeing Cricket's happy little face peeking out. She kept an ear on Cantina's children and watched as Zoe discreetly showed Cricket to her other friends.

  "They look a lot like you," Lexi said when Cantina wound down. "They have your beautiful skin, too."

  "Thanks. I never really wanted kids until I held them in my arms for the first time, but now I can't imagine living without them. Do you have children?"

  "No."

  "Ever want any?"

  "I've got Cricket."

  Cantina looked confused. "Cricket?"

  "My dog. He's currently hiding in Zoe's jacket." She pointed to where Zoe sat. "He's all the child I need or want. And the added bonus is that he'll never be a teenager."

  Cantina groaned. "Please don't remind me. I was a horrible teenager and my mother cursed me. She can't wait for the two of them to drive me crazy as payback for how I treated her."

  "Maybe they'll balance each other out," Lexi suggested. Though she was still very drunk she could feel that she had stopped getting more intoxicated. She felt hopeful that her morning wouldn't be too bad.

  Zoe came over a few minutes later and recommended that she let her drive her home. Lexi offered to call a cab but Zoe declined. They said goodbye and every one congratulated Zoe again on a well-played game.

  The ride home was quiet and Cricket stood on her lap to stare out the front window. Zoe walked her to the front door and pulled Lexi's keys out of her jacket before unerringly choosing the correct key and unlocking her house. Lexi leaned against the doorjamb and watched her.

  "Do you want to come in?" She asked hopefully.

  "Not tonight, I think," Zoe replied as she handed the keys over. "What time do you start work tomorrow?"

  Lexi struggled to remember as Cricket ran around the front yard checking his territory. "I'm pretty sure my first appointment is at 8:00. I'll open the shop at 7:45."

  "I'll bring your car back on my way to work then." Zoe put her hands in her jacket pockets and stepped back. "Are you going to be all right tonight?"

  Lexi felt a hint of panic when she saw Zoe beginning to leave. "Aren't you going to kiss me?"