“We should have talked about all of this before they left!” I said.
“Mary, I beg you not to place too much hope in Felicity’s return,” Jane said, gently squeezing my arm. “However, if Lydia does give her up, they will find a way to feed her.”
I breathed out a long exhalation. “I suppose so.”
When we returned to the house, we had a letter from Kitty.
23 August
Longbourn
Dear Sisters,
As I am certain you must be curious about what has transpired, I am writing to tell you what little I know. I’m afraid it is not much more than Papa has already told you.
Lydia made her escape in the middle of the night, so quietly as not to have awakened anybody. We found her note late the next morning, when by eleven of the clock she had not appeared for breakfast and we had heard not a peep from Felicity.
The note contained nothing more than Papa has already imparted. It was quite serious in its tone; I would go so far as to say it was commanding. None of us here had any inkling of what she had planned, although Papa suspected she’d received some letters from the man with whom she had her liaison.
Mary, if it is of any comfort to you, Lydia, in the weeks since you left, seemed to fill her role as Fee’s mother with growing confidence and even satisfaction. Lydia and Mama spent many afternoons playing with her, laying her on the floor with some toys, and watching her with squeals of delight until she would grow sleepy.
Mama is bereft. She refuses to come out of her chamber. Even Lady Lucas and Aunt Philips cannot persuade her. Mary, she wishes you to return to Longbourn, but my advice is to prolong your visit to High Tor as long as possible. You all may be wondering what we are telling people. Unbelievable as it seems, we are telling the truth, for the most part. Laying the blame at Wickham’s door perhaps a bit more than is strictly fair, but since he has not claimed the child nor made any attempt to see Lydia and the baby, I don’t think it will matter. We are saying Lydia and Felicity have gone to America with a friend. People will think what they like; there is little we can do.
As for me, I miss all of you exceedingly. Especially a certain gentleman whose warm smile and laugh won my heart! The seamstress in Meryton is making my bride clothes, and I’m working mainly on embroidery of handkerchiefs, pillowcases, and the like. I am grateful I have only a month left before my wedding, as I do not know how much longer I can abide my mother’s complaints and Papa’s silent retreats to his library.
Yours,
Kitty
Jane looked at us, eyes sparkling. “That is undoubtedly the longest letter Kitty has ever written to any of us!”
Elizabeth laughed. “Yes, and she’s taking this all in her stride. They do not know about Wickham. We should inform them.”
Their words flowed around me, but I wasn’t listening. I snatched the letter from Jane’s hand and reread it. Tears stung my eyes because of all the things I’d missed. I’d chosen to come here, to High Tor, in the unfounded hope of making Henry Walsh love me. It should have been me sitting on the floor playing with Felicity. Not Lydia. Not Mama and Kitty. I was more her mother than anybody else. I brushed away the tears trickling down my cheeks. It wouldn’t do for Jane and Lizzy to see me crying.
And now that Henry would be further exposed to Lydia’s indiscretions, I had not the smallest hope of his affection. Indeed, since the day of the Ashtons’ visit, when Charles had told him everything, he’d kept his distance. Even though he had his own somewhat tarnished history, it was one thing for a man to father illegitimate offspring, quite another for a woman to commit adultery.
Lydia’s disgrace would have its most direct effect on me. I would be left with nothing. Kitty had mere weeks left at Longbourn, and Lydia had managed to flee as well. As for me, I would soon be returning home, taking up my role as spinster daughter caring for her aging parents, and doing her duty toward her sisters and their families whenever called upon.
I excused myself to wallow in hopelessness. Self-pity is a shameful thing.
Chapter 26
Later in the day I paced along the avenue alone. I had tried to take a nap, as everybody else was doing, but something had been plaguing me. Now that I was up and moving about, it began to take shape in my mind. If I had any hope of getting Felicity back, I must be the one to confront Lydia. It had to be me. Only I, who truly cared for Fee, could do so and expect to sway my headstrong sister. Could she deny me Felicity, when she must have known in her heart I’d been more of a mother to the child than she ever had?
I had to inform my sisters right away and beg Jane to let me use the chaise. Though I was at a disadvantage in making such a late start, surely a baby would have slowed the progress of the errant couple. Whether to set out for Bristol or Portsmouth I could not answer on my own. My sisters would have to help me decide. I was sure they would oppose my plan. Best to rouse them immediately and have done with the arguments.
I asked their maids to wake them, and although they were none too happy about it, they agreed to do so. “Say I have an urgent need to talk with them,” I said as they hurried off. When Jane and Lizzy swept into the sitting room wearing dressing gowns and in dishabille, I realized I’d frightened them. They both thought I had bad news.
“What is it?” Jane asked, a worried look marring her face as she hurried in.
I’d asked for tea, and now filled my sisters’ cups while I gathered my thoughts.
“Forgive me, dear sisters,” I began. “I own I have no news. Indeed, what I have to say will startle you, and in all likelihood make you angry.”
“You wish to go after Lydia,” Elizabeth said in a calm voice.
“What?” I said, blinking. “How did you—”
“Frankly, Mary,” she said, “I was surprised you did not insist upon it yesterday.”
“Jane? Did you guess, too?”
“I confess the thought crossed my mind earlier, but when you didn’t mention it, I forgot about the idea.”
I leaned across the table. “I beg you, Jane, to allow me to use the chaise. I must be the one to deal with Lydia. I’m the only person who could make her see reason. When it comes to Felicity, that is.”
Lizzy sipped her tea, took a bite of blackberry tart, and rubbed a few crumbs off her hands. “Have you considered the difficulties of such a journey? To begin, which way will you go? They have, now, a two-day advantage. I doubt you would reach them in time.”
The fact that she did not oppose it outright gave me hope.
“Mary, dearest, I do not think this is a good idea at all,” Jane said. “To set out by yourself, not even sure which way to travel. And knowing they may already have set sail before you could catch up to them. It seems a fool’s errand to me.”
“I could go with her,” Elizabeth said.
“Lizzy! The children—”
“They have nursemaids, Jane, and you would remain here to ensure their well-being. I believe Mary is right. If Lydia is to be persuaded, it’s she who is best qualified for the job.”
Reaching for my hands, Jane said, “If. If she is to be persuaded. We all know what a willful, selfish creature she is! Are you prepared for the worst outcome, Mary? I fear you are deluding yourself.”
She had such sadness in her eyes, I wanted to weep. Maybe I was deluding myself. “I have to try, Jane. Don’t you see?”
“Jane, you are overruled,” Elizabeth said. “We can take our chaise and leave in the morning.”
“Oh, thank you, Lizzy! Shall it be Bristol or Portsmouth?”
“Bristol,” she said without hesitation. “Fitzwilliam thought it the more likely route, and I agree. Portsmouth is closer, but if Lydia and the captain had wanted to mislead us, it would make more sense to go to Bristol.”
Acknowledging defeat, Jane said, “I’ll speak to Cook about food for your journey.”
“A
nd I’ll talk to our driver and footmen,” Lizzy said. “We shall be on the road at dawn.”
I hugged them both and hurried to my chamber to pack my things.
How many days, Donald?” I asked the Darcys’ coachman before we set out.
“Two, and half of another, ma’am. Longest day today.”
I nodded and cursed under my breath. Blast! Three days. We would be lucky to wave farewell to Lydia and Felicity as their ship sailed away at this rate. I tamped down my impatience, as there was absolutely nothing to be done about the distance.
We spent the first night at a coaching inn near Worcester. It was nothing fancy, yet provided clean bed linens and decent food, both welcome after rattling around in the Darcy conveyance all day. Not that it wasn’t the epitome of such vehicles, fitted up with velvet squabs and exceedingly well sprung. After an early breakfast, we were on the road again.
Elizabeth and I talked of everything except the reason for our journey. Kitty’s wedding, the relative merits of village versus city life, her horse-riding lessons, dealing with Mama during a crisis. And then she surprised me by announcing she was again with child.
“Oh, Lizzy, that’s wonderful news. And I’ve dragged you off on this arduous journey. Are you feeling well?”
She smiled. “Yes, never better. Remember, it was Jane who was sick during much of her pregnancy, not I. And this time seems much the same. You’re the first to know, Mary, except for Fitzwilliam, of course.”
“Jane would never have allowed you to come if she’d known,” I said, laughing.
“No, indeed. My husband may not be pleased, either, but he will understand.” She paused to plump up the cushion at her back. “How are you feeling about this situation? Are you content with the decision to pursue the matter yourself?”
“I am. I only wish I were more certain of the outcome.”
“One never knows with Lydia. She could be eager to be rid of her daughter, or—”
“She may have taken a liking to her. I’ve never known a sweeter baby, Lizzy, nor one easier to love. Fanny, Jane, and David excepted, of course.”
“Would it be so bad if she did love Felicity and wanted to raise her? You will marry someday and have your own children, you know.”
I snorted. “I collect you’re referring to Mr. Walsh? I’ve no hope of that at present. As to the other matter, if I could only believe Lydia truly loved Fee, I could accept parting from her forever. Though it would not be easy, I know.”
On the second day we stopped early, which was good planning on Donald’s part. It gave us a chance to rest before undertaking the remaining distance to Bristol the next morning. Donald thought if we left early, we would arrive by afternoon. In the morning, anticipation roiled in my belly. I couldn’t eat, could barely swallow a few sips of tea. I waited impatiently while Elizabeth devoured eggs, bacon, toast, and fruit compote, washed down with two cups of chocolate.
Once we were under way, I wondered what would come next. Would we run into our quarry along the road? Or would we be forced to journey into Bristol to find them? What about Henry and Mr. Darcy? Wherever Lydia, Fee, and Captain Mason were, we were certain to find them as well.
I was apprehensive about entering Bristol. Mr. Darcy owned a town home in London, and he and Elizabeth took up residence there during part of the season each year. But she was the only one of us to have visited a large city. I knew Bristol was a bustling port and thus home to all manner of people, including unsavory types who loitered around the quay. Thieves, prostitutes, and con men. It was known, though nobody talked of it, that at one time Bristol had profited greatly from the slave trade with the Americas. Indeed, it had comprised the major part of their shipping industry. Although this was no longer the case, the possibility of Felicity ending up on such a ship didn’t bear thinking about.
The day dragged on, and after a stop for refreshments, the driver told us we would soon see the outskirts of the city. I watched out the window, and after an hour or so spotted tall church spires and the towers of what must have been the Bristol Cathedral. Not knowing how else to proceed, we instructed the coachman to take us straight to Bristol Harbour. He was disinclined to do so.
“Ma’am, Mr. Darcy will have my hide if I take you anywhere near there. Let me go on my own, ask around, and come back and tell you what I found out. You can wait at an inn, have a nice cup of tea.” He gazed imploringly at us. He was right about his master, who probably would have his hide, or at least relieve him of his duties.
Lizzy and I looked at each other, neither of us knowing what to do. I knew she hesitated only on my account. “I think it’s a good idea,” I said. “Donald is bound to have more success than we ever could, two ladies completely out of their customary milieu.” My sister sighed with relief.
After negotiating narrow streets, we arrived at a bridge swarming with people, animals, and all manner of vehicles. Wagons, sledges, drays, and carts, all jostling for position. Donald judged it unsafe to drive over. He left one footman with the carriage, while he and a second footman carried our bags and delivered us to a reputable-looking inn. He saw us installed in a private parlor before taking his leave. The innkeeper brought us cold meat, bread, and ale. We hadn’t taken but a few bites when the door burst open and Mr. Darcy and Henry Walsh rushed in.
“Fitzwilliam!” Lizzy said.
He strode forward and clasped Elizabeth to his chest. “Whatever possessed you to come to Bristol? It’s not a safe place for you.” I’d never seen Mr. Darcy display such emotion toward Lizzy in public. Feeling my face flush, I turned toward Henry and held out my hand in greeting.
“I am only surprised we did not see you sooner,” he said, smiling and shaking hands with me.
“How did you find us?”
“We ran smack into Darcy’s coachman walking down the street. He told us where you were.”
“I suppose I have you to thank, Mary, for dragging my wife here,” Mr. Darcy said. He stepped away from Elizabeth and swiveled in my direction, watching me coldly.
I grimaced but stood my ground. “Yes and no. When I said I was determined to find Lydia, Elizabeth insisted she would accompany me. She was most adamant.”
“Yes, I’m sure she was. We will have a talk about that,” he said.
“Please, let’s all be seated,” Lizzy said, obviously wishing to deflect some of her husband’s displeasure.
Mr. Walsh called for the innkeeper to bring more food and ale. While we waited, they told us what they’d found out so far.
“Unfortunately, we haven’t tracked them down,” Mr. Darcy said. “But we have found which ships will be sailing in the coming days. If Bristol was their destination, they’re bound to have booked passage on one of them.”
Henry continued the story. “Although they would not allow us to see the manifests, we asked around the docks. No one remembered anybody in the last several days who fit their description.”
“Did you ask them to check for specific names on the manifest? For the upcoming crossings?”
“Of course,” Mr. Darcy said. “They refused to do it.” He paused in his recitation of the tale while a serving girl placed more food on the table. The two men filled their plates, and my brother-in-law again took up the story.
“I even offered money at one of the offices, but the clerk took offense. We had planned to spend the remainder of the day checking around at some of the inns,” Mr. Darcy said. He turned toward Elizabeth. “But you, wife, and your sister, will be resting while Walsh and I take on that task.”
“Oh, no,” Lizzy said. “I didn’t come all this way to be relegated to a room in an inn while you men do the investigating. Mary and I shall accompany you.”
“Elizabeth . . .” His voice sounded ominous.
“We’ve been sitting in a coach for three days! I’ve done nothing but rest. Please, Fitzwilliam. I am not at all tired.”
Mr. Darcy sighed, glared at all of us, but finally agreed.
“What if we don’t find them at one of the inns?” I asked.
“Then I’m afraid our only hope is to lie in wait for them and accost them when they embark. Or pray that Charles has found them in Portsmouth.”
It was decided we would split up. Henry and I would take charge of the two streets closest to the quay, while Lizzy and Mr. Darcy would search two blocks up. Limiting ourselves to the part of town nearest the port would be the most likely way to corner our fugitives.
Surprised there was no objection to my going off unchaperoned with Mr. Walsh, I leaped to my feet as soon as we’d finished our meal, before Mr. Darcy or Elizabeth could change their mind. “I’m ready. Like Lizzy, I am exceedingly bored with inaction. Mr. Walsh?” We had taken rooms for the night at the inn and agreed to meet there later to share any news.
Henry and I set off down the street, having decided to walk to the far end and work our way back. Unsettled by the hordes streaming along on all sides, I clung to his arm. What a far cry from Longbourn or Meryton. I didn’t think this suited me, all these people massed together, pushing rudely past, and shoving anybody aside who did not give way.
A large number of inns awaited us, but we only stopped to inquire at those we thought would be acceptable to a couple with a child. After the sixth time an innkeeper swore he did not recognize the small family by name or description, I felt defeated. “I fear they’ve already sailed,” I said to Mr. Walsh on the way out the door.
“Darcy and I must have arrived right on their heels,” he said. “I can hardly believe we could have missed them, if they came here and not to Portsmouth. Don’t forget, we have another street to investigate, as well as a few more establishments on this one.”
“I can see you’re an optimist, and I am quite the opposite.”
“Come, there’s a small park across the street. Let’s rest for a moment.” When there was an opening in the traffic, we rushed across and seated ourselves on a wooden bench with a view of the harbor. I was shocked to see that the ships, of which there were too many to count, rested on mud flats, their sails furled.
The Pursuit of Mary Bennet Page 21