The taxi was on time and it took less than 20 minutes to get to the Renaissance Hotel. My nerves were getting the best of me on the ride over. Clicking random on my playlist, I heard the song Ty told me was his song for me. Although I needed to get the song that was playing when I woke up with Emanuel out of my head, it felt wrong to play that song. Searching for something else, I tried to clear my mind so I wouldn’t have a panic attack. Flipping through song after song in an effort to imbed the new song in my head, I couldn’t shake “Getting Late.” My anxiety was high and as the song played in my mind, I kept getting flashes of the night. The once sexy lyrics were disturbing to me as I vaguely remembered taking Emanuel’s clothes off, kissing him and touching him. But everything seemed so disjointed. I couldn’t definitively figure out if what I was remembering was reality or a dream. But in the years I’d fantasized about Emanuel, it was never this vivid, I thought, gripping the door handle of the taxi.
How could I have sent them the wrong text messages? Emanuel thought I wanted him to call me or come over and obviously he did both. What did I say to him? But more importantly, how did Emanuel end up in bed with me? I am almost positive I didn’t sleep with him. I mean, he didn’t have on much, but I was still fully clothed. And my body didn’t feel the soreness that would accompany a night of wild sex—because let’s face it: sex with Emanuel would be wild. But even if it’s safe to assume I didn’t sleep with him, did I mess around with him? Oh my God, something must have happened because why was my hair a train wreck when I woke up. I twisted it when I got out of the shower. I didn’t do a great job at it but I recall twisting it. And my lips, even after brushing my teeth and washing my face, still feel bruised. What did I do? I messed around with Emanuel who is engaged while I have a boyfriend?! I mean technically, I did break up with Ty at the museum so I didn’t technically cheat…, I rationalized guiltily as I rubbed the mixture of sweat and coconut oil from my hairline.
Who am I kidding… when I thought Ty may have hooked up with a chick from his hometown, I was heartbroken. I am so in love with him. And even though I have questions about his role in the whole Cole thing, I would never want to hurt him by cheating on him. He doesn’t deserve this, I admitted silently to myself.
Walking into the hotel, gentle music flooded the brightly lit lobby. I smiled tightly in the direction of the night manager and continued to the elevator bank which fortunately was straight ahead. In the elevator, I gripped the railing and did my breathing exercises as I waited to get off on the 5th floor. Stepping off the elevator, I got butterflies in my stomach as I realized I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t think about what I was going to say, I just called the taxi, took a shower, and popped up on his doorstep.
Shaking out my hands, I loosened my body in front of Room 501. I knocked hard on the door before I lost my nerve. I put my ear up against the door and didn’t hear anything. I knocked for a solid minute before I heard some rustling behind the heavy door. I stopped when I heard the door being unlocked.
“Sahara?” Ty was wiping the sleep from his eyes so I took the opportunity to take him in. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and his basketball shorts were low on his hips. Knowing what was underneath those shorts made a blush engulf my skin. How does he manage to make being caught off guard at 3:30 in the morning sexy? I wondered once I finished savoring the look of him. My body’s natural reaction to him never ceased to amaze me.
“Hey, can we talk?” I said once I ripped my eyes back up to his face, remembering that I woke up in bed with Emanuel. I slipped my phone into my back pocket.
“Of course. Come in,” Ty rasped. His voice still hadn’t adjusted to being awakened abruptly. He stepped back and allowed me to walk in. Looking around, I sat on the orange and yellow checkered couch located in the living room area of the suite.
“Excuse me for a second,” Ty said as he walked into the bathroom. A couple minutes later, he stepped out looking refreshed.
“I needed to wash my face and brush my teeth,” Ty explained as he came back into the room. Sitting across from me in an orange overstuffed chair, Ty leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “Are you okay? You said you wanted to talk to me in the morning. How did you get here?”
“I took a taxi. I’m okay. I just needed to see you Ty,” I clarified to take the worry from his furrowed brow. My stomach dropped guiltily as I continued, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Ty said slowly. His eyes squinted suspiciously as he assessed me sitting on the couch. Since we’d met, he’d always been able to see some hidden emotion in me. One of the many reasons I fell for him was because he’s so perceptive and in tuned with me. But right now, his ability to read me so well freaked me out, I thought as I avoided eye contact.
“Can you please explain to me what happened? I thought you were in Boston handling business with Motive, but in reality, you’re at a hearing in Thomasville as a witness for the accident that I told you ruined my life. I don’t get how you could keep that from me. Did you know all along?” I asked quietly, almost scared to know the answer. I fought the tears that attempted to well up in my eyes. Whatever his answer, I need to hear it. It can’t hurt worse than it did when I saw him on the witness stand. And it definitely can’t hurt as much as it does to think about us being over for good, I rationalized as I prepared myself for the worst.
Ty’s face instantly changed from suspicious to sullen as he rubbed his hands down his face. “I’m sorry about how this whole thing happened, Sahara. I didn’t know anything about you until I met you. I didn’t know you were affected by all of that until you told me. I didn’t know, you have to believe me,” Ty swore adamantly.
He got up from the chair and sat beside me on the couch. He took my hand in his before he continued, “I finished my finals and the party was the last hurrah before Harvard. My grandfather wanted me to grow up and stop with the frat life—parties, drinking, random girls. When he gave me the “grow up” talk, I turned into a different person. A person he could be proud to have in the boardroom with him. So I didn’t really keep up with what was going on in Thomasville. I left it all in my past. I was in the books and working for my grandfather’s company. I was a workaholic and I didn’t keep up with a lot of the people I was friends with here. When I left, I left Thomasville behind me.” His perfectly chiseled face looked sad and downcast. He rubbed the back of his neck before resting his arm on the back of the couch.
“I wasn’t in charge of what the pledges were doing that night. My V.P. Grant Collins was in charge of them. Grant apparently was part of the initial trial that put Cole away. But he’s locked up for a DUI so the judge sought me out. I was subpoenaed to appear in court for the hearing before I met you. My lawyer told me that the fact that I supplied the bulk of the alcohol could be a slight problem, but I shouldn’t let it worry me because they were handling things. I didn’t look too deeply into the case. The night you told me about everything, it was the first time I heard everything that happened.”
He put his hand over his chest before he said, “I swear to you Sahara. When you told me what happened to you, what exactly happened and who was hurt and how it all happened, something sounded familiar. Too familiar. So I put you to bed and I stayed with you until you cried yourself to sleep.” He paused and moved closer to me on the couch so that our bodies were touching. My body tingled at his closeness but I ignored it; I needed to hear the rest of what he said.
“Once I knew you were asleep, I went to the office and looked for the folder my lawyer brought me with facts about the case. I couldn’t shake how familiar your story sounded. And when I read it… Sahara, I didn’t know. I didn’t know you were even from Thomasville. I thought you were from Virginia. When my lawyer and I talked about the case, he just referred to everyone as either victims or deceased victims. I was so messed up when I realized… I poured over every detail until I fell asleep. And when I woke up, I realized I was still in my office. I called my lawyer and screamed at him; I wasn’t thinking straight. After
calming down, I called you. I’m sorry you woke up alone. I wish I would’ve been there with you, for you. That whole thing took a lot out of me so I know it took a lot out of you. I should’ve been there and I’m sorry.” He took my face into his hands. His fingertips streaked heat along my cheek and my eyes watered.
“I tried to tell you when I saw you but you didn’t want to talk about it. You made me choose between telling you and being with you. And Sahara, I couldn’t lose you. I’m all in.”
“Why did you call from that number I didn’t recognize? Why did you sound like that? I thought you were breaking up with me,” I admitted softly.
“I felt guilty about being here, about being a part of your past. I was at the courthouse and my lawyer didn’t want me calling you. He said it would throw me off of my game. So I borrowed another lawyer’s cell. Baby girl, I need you to forgive me. I need you.” His eyes were begging me to believe him… and I did.
“I forgive you,” I whispered as I looked up through my lashes at him. He pulled me on top of him and crushed me into his body. After I fixed my legs to comfortably straddle him, he held me so tight, I could hardly breathe. The stubble on his cheek tickled my face as he pulled us cheek to cheek.
“I love you,” Ty breathed into my ear.
“I love you too,” I murmured breathily, wrapping my arms around his neck.
Pulling back from me, he searched my eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me about the hearing?”
“After you left me that night, I didn’t want to open that door again. It hurt too much to relive it and when you weren’t there the next morning, it was a unbearable. I felt too open, too exposed. And because the thought of not having you was just as painful, I decided that the only way I’d survive is to keep you separate from Thomasville,” I admitted honestly. With my hand on his bare chest, I could feel the steady beating of his heart.
“God, I wish I would’ve just said something. I wish I could’ve been here to help you through this. I know it was hard for you to come here,” Ty quietly observed.
“It was. But I was only able to gather the strength to get here because I had you by my side. Just being with you gives me so much strength. You gave me the courage I needed to face my past,” I confided in him, my hands lovingly stroking up his chest and neck to his face. “I’m sorry I let you believe I was in Richland.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t specify where I was going. And I’m sorry I couldn’t be beside you during the hearing.”
We were silent for a moment. I noticed a slight change in his facial features as his jaw set. Something in his eyes became more intense as he swallowed hard. The look he gave me made the guilt flood my veins. I felt heavy with it.
He slid me back a bit on his lap, putting about a foot between my chest and his. He looked at me with a calculated calm, “What is Emanuel to you?”
“He is my best friend’s brother,” I started slowly. “And he was my first love.”
“I saw the look in his eye when he found us at the museum, Sahara. He loves you.” Ty ran his hands up the side of my legs, resting them on my hips. “You love him?”
“I do love him. But I’m in love with you,” I rushed to explain. I brought my hands to his cheeks.
Ty nodded slowly. Although his body visibly relaxed, his eyes still looked pained. “Did he follow you to Emily’s house?”
“He—he showed up a little after I did. But Emily and I asked him to leave.”
His fingers flexed on my hips and I could feel his touch through the denim. “So whatever it was that you two had, it’s done?” His eyes implored mine seeking something deeper than a yes or no.
“Yes…We never even really got started.” He looked at me blankly in response. Seeing that my answer wasn’t sufficient, I babbled, “I had a crush on him as a child and over time I fell for him. He became my first love. And um, apparently, before he could tell me he returned my feelings, I left for Virginia and then moved to Maryland. I hadn’t seen or talked to him since I left Thomasville ten years ago.”
His head rested on the back of the couch and he just stared at me silently. His fingers continued digging into my hips as he assessed me. I didn’t know what to do so I continued rambling, “So I think we were both just shocked to see each other and reacted to that. And he’s engaged. To Ashlyn.” I looked at him anxiously and I willed myself not to shift my eyes. The guilt ate at me.
“Sahara… there’s something you’re not telling me,” Ty stated. His hands stilled on my hips and his gaze held me hostage.
I moved my body down his basketball shorts covered legs until I was sure he could feel the heat between my thighs on his bare lower abdomen. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his neck. We were cheek to cheek and my lips grazed his ear. “I need you,” I whispered as I rotated my hips. “I’m here because I needed to be with you. I didn’t want to be apart anymore.”
I felt him harden beneath me as he stroked my back. His hands continued down over the curve of my ass, pulling me into him. “Don’t do that,” he growled sexily in my ear.
I sat up so I could see his face. In this new position, I felt him grow fully between us. “Don’t do what?” I inquired, stopping my slow movements in his lap.
He opened his eyes leisurely and looked up at me. He ran his hands up my arms over my shoulders and down my chest. His fingertips grazed my nipples, instantly causing them to harden. He ended his casual caress of my body at my hips where he held on tight and pulled me into his hardness. “Don’t use the fact that I love you and your body against me. You’re keeping something from me and you’re trying to distract me.” He was pressing himself against me and sliding his hands underneath my tank top before I could respond to him.
“I’ll tell you anything you want to know baby. I just really need to be with you right now. Even if we just lay in bed together. I just want to be in your arms,” I whimpered as his hands found my sensitive nipples underneath my top.
“Right now, the only thing I want to know is if you are mine?” Ty asked, his voice husky and his eyes hungry.
“Yes. I’ll always be yours,” I uttered softly. My mouth crashed against his in a flash. His mouth overpowered mine and I readily submitted to his power.
Standing with me in his arms, I wrapped my legs around his waist and held him tightly. He walked me into the suite’s bedroom and put me down in front of the bed. Kissing fiercely, we tore at each other’s clothes until we were both standing naked in front of each other. Picking me up, Ty tossed me onto the bed. I landed with a soft thud against the feather pillows. I giggled softly at his roughness.
“I want you so bad, I can’t see straight,” Ty groaned as he climbed on the bed. Making his way between my legs, he laid me out spread eagle. He sat back on his haunches and admired my body. My thighs shook slightly in anticipation. Everything about this man was perfection and I just wanted to feel him. Whenever our bodies collided, it was physical expression of our emotional feelings coupled with carnal lust. Every single time we have sex, I experienced the same flood of emotions: My heart clenches just as tight as my core. I get wet and my mouth goes dry. I feel nervous and heady at the same time. This man does amazing things to me, I thought with a smile.
The moment his bare skin touched mine, I lost it. I spent so much time being broken that it took the disaster of the day for me to become distinctly aware of how his touch was everything I needed to feel whole again. Closing my eyes, the guilt, the anger, the confusion, the emotions of the day, everything melted away. All I could feel was love—his love for me and my love for him.
I woke up and before I opened my eyes, I knew Ty wasn’t in the bed anymore. For the last month, we’d wake up touching. Either our legs would be intertwined or we’d be cuddling each other. If one of us got up it was because we were in the bathroom or kitchen. I heard no movement in the hotel suite and I instantly panicked because there was only one time in the last month that I woke up and he wasn’t around.
My eyes flew open in alar
m as I sat up. My body felt lethargic from the late night and sore from all the different ways Ty had me. But even reminiscing about the amazing make up sex wasn’t going to suppress the unease that settled over me. The silence in the suite was deafening. I rolled over to his side of the bed and there was a slip of Renaissance Hotel paper on his pillow.
Leaning closer, I read the words scrawled on the page in Ty’s handwriting and instantly, tears stung my eyes as I mumbled the words to myself. “That’s fucked up. I knew you were hiding something, but I didn’t expect that.”
Chapter 30
My hands were gripping the comforter to my naked body as I read the note over and over again. With a shaky hand, I picked up the note to inspect it further. Maybe something is on the back. A ‘haha’ or a ‘just joking’ or anything to allude to this not being real, I thought frantically.
Underneath the paper was my cell phone. Hitting the home button inadvertently, I saw a text message from Emily light up the screen.
Emily Mills: Where the hell are you?! I woke up and went to the guest bedroom and instead of you, I find my brother naked in your bed. I thought I heard noises and the shower going but I thought I was dreaming. Does this mean he finally called off his sham engagement? Call me!
No no no no no no, I thought as I hopped out of bed with my phone. This is bad. This is really bad. He read this and assumed I slept with Emanuel. I mean hell, I assumed the same thing when I woke up beside Emanuel so I can’t blame him. But I need him to know the truth. I didn’t sleep with Emanuel. I’m almost positive, I thought as guilt coursed through my veins all over again.
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