by RK Close
Looking at his face in the dim light of the room, I realize he may know how I feel about him but he’s unsure of my feelings for Gabe. In all honesty, I was uncertain for so long. And I do have strong feelings for Gabe that I cannot deny.
My internal musings are interrupted when more banging on the door snaps me back to the here and now. “If you don’t open the bloody door, I’ll be knocking it off the hinges, Adam.”
Adam closes his eyes for a moment, and then unlocks and opens the door wide to face the only other man I might have loved. Gabriel doesn’t even look at Adam. His gaze narrows in on me and doesn’t waver. Tears threaten to fill my eyes and I quickly blink them away. When he gives me that adorable lopsided smile that could charm snakes, I can’t fight the urge. Running to him, we collide and I throw my arms around his neck. I’m so happy to see him here—alive and unharmed.
He doesn’t hold back as he lifts me off the ground, holding me tightly to him. Gabe buries his head in my hair, and I hear him say softly, “Aww, Sam—how I’ve missed you!”
Joy turns to nervousness when Gabe doesn’t move to release me. I gently untangle myself from his arms and pull away. I’m so happy to see him, but I have no desire to make Adam jealous. He’s made plenty of threats toward Gabe in the past, so I don’t want to stoke those embers.
Reluctantly, Gabe releases me—his sparkling eyes have me grinning up at him. “I can’t believe you’re here. Where have you been? We’ve been so worried about you,” I say, taking in his longer-than-normal hair and rugged good looks.
Gabe raises an eyebrow and finally looks at Adam for the first time since the door opened. “We? Have you missed me, vampire?” Gabe asks with a mischievous grin.
Adam doesn’t look amused. “Not in the least. Quite convenient, showing up at this hour. We could have used your set of skills sooner. Always late to the game—are you not, Hunter?” Adam says, closing the door.
Gabe doesn’t react to the taunt. Instead, he drops his backpack by the door and walks right into Adam’s penthouse, looking around as he plops down into one of the oversized Queen Anne leather chairs. Gabe’s not wearing his glasses, and his clothes look as though he’s been backpacking around the country.
Maybe he has.
How does someone avoid an entire family of killer angel decedents who have been ordered to hunt you? The thought makes me shudder.
I sit on one of the sofas, hoping Adam will join me. He does, placing a possessive hand on my thigh. Gabe watches the action before raising his gaze to mine. “I see I’ve missed a great deal in my short absence.” There’s a moment of accusation in his eyes.
My chest tightens. When Gabriel left, things were not settled between us. And seeing him here does bring it all back—the feelings I had for him, the feelings he still has for me. Gabriel is a great guy. He’s loyal, passionate, intelligent—not to mention easy on the eyes. I’m not sure if being part angel has anything to do with my attraction for him, but I’m sure it doesn’t hurt. More important than the attraction we’ve shared in the past, is that I’m fiercely loyal to our friendship. Gabe risked everything for me. I will always love him for that and many other reasons.
But at the end of the day, it’s Adam that I can’t live without. I don’t know why it’s Adam and not the easier choice Gabe presents. But there’s no reasoning with the heart. I lost “reason” sometime after “normal.”
I look at Gabe with a steady gaze. “Yes, you’ve missed a lot.”
He looks at me a moment longer as his eyes soften and I see what might be acceptance in them. “I’m sorry to hear that.” He looks to Adam. “You’re one lucky bastard, vampire. I hope you know how much.”
Adam squeezes my hand gently as he looks down at me. My insides do that funny flip-flop thing that causes my entire body to tingle, and I’m unable to hide my smile.
“And if you ever hurt her, I’ll kill you,” Gabe warns. “What else have I missed?” Gabe asks in a more casual voice—like he didn’t just threaten Adam’s life.
Adam and I exchange a look. Where do we start?
“Why don’t you tell us what you’ve been doing, first? Where have you been? Does your family still want to kill you? Oh, and I killed your plant. Sorry,” I say, shrugging.
“I loved that plant.” Gabe shakes his head. “I’ve been busy avoiding my relatives and hunting down leads on your family.”
My family?
“Gabe, my parents died almost six years ago. Their parents are all dead, and neither of them had siblings. Mom said I was a third-generation only child. There’s no family left.”
Gabe looks pleased with himself as he leans forward and puts his elbows on his knees. “That’s where you’re wrong. You have a grandmother in Aldworth, England. She’s your mother’s mother.” Gabe watches my reaction like he’s just given me a gift with a big bow on it.
I stare at him, open-mouthed. “That can’t be, Gabe,” I say, firmly. My mother wouldn’t have lied to me. For Gabe to be right, would mean that my mom lied. I won’t believe it.
“It’s true, Sam. I met her. She’s a lovely lady, but she refused to answer any of my questions. She said she’d only tell her story to you.”
“She’s lying. My mother said my grandmother died around the time I was born,” I say flatly. It simply can’t be true. He’s made a mistake.
Gabe looks at me with pity which makes me angrier. What reason would she have to mislead me? And my father as well. He always confirmed this story, not that we discussed it much. I’ve always just accepted what they told me as truth. Why would I doubt them?
I feel Adam’s arm around my shoulders, and I shake him off and jump to my feet. “My mother did not lie to me! This woman is obviously mistaken or a con-artist or something.” I head for the front door. This isn’t happening. In the matter of a few moments, every wonderful memory I have of my parents is threatened by an old lady in England and a handful of empty words. My memories are all that I have left of them. I’m not ready to give that up.
Before I can reach the door, Adam is blocking my way. I stop just before running into him. He grabs my arms, and I glare up at him. “Hear him out. Gabriel’s not trying to hurt you, Samantha. Do you still wish to understand the powers you have?”
“Not at the expense of my childhood—not at the cost of my parents and their memory. Move out of my way, Adam. I want to leave.” I stare at his chest, not wanting to see if I’ve hurt him.
He says nothing, but after a moment he steps out of my way. I pull the door open then hesitate. Without looking back, I say, “I’m glad you’re safe, Gabe.”
Before the door closes, I hear Gabe’s voice. “I’m sorry, Sam.”
I don’t respond as I shut the door and take the stairs down to my condo.
Once inside, Wilbur comes jogging up to me—crying all the way. I scoop him up and bury my face in his soft fur. I walk him into the kitchen and put food in his dish. While he eats, I slide down the wall and sit on the floor stroking his fur. Finally, the floodgates open and I cry my heart out, thinking about my parents and all the wonderful memories we’ve had together. I’ve always felt my childhood was blessed and that we shared a close family bond. That knowledge was how I survived losing them.
I feel like if my parents lied to me about this, they could have lied about other things, and their memory—my memory of them—could be tainted beyond repair. It feels as though I’m losing them all over again.
I don’t know how long I sit on the floor crying. It’s funny the way time seems to stand still when we’re having a meltdown.
At some point, I feel Adam’s strong arms lift and carry me to bed. Crying softly into my pillow while he strokes my hair, I drift off, hoping for a dreamless peace, but finding my strange gift waiting for me as soon as my consciousness lets go.
My dream forest is dark and alive. It’s beginning to feel familiar to me, although I never let my guard down completely. The night seems to be eternal as mist creeps along the ground. The dream forest ha
s typically warned of something or someone coming for me. My head whips from side to side, searching for a threat.
It’s not long before I spot a light emanating from deep in the woods. There’s no avoiding it. My dreams will show me what I’m meant to see, so I walk cautiously toward the glow. There’s movement as I approach, so I hide behind a tree and watch a man cleaning a long sword that glows blue, as if small flames were coming off it.
I can’t see his face, but he’s dressed mostly in black leather with hints of white linen underneath. He’s on one knee as he lovingly almost reverently cleans his blade with a cloth. I can’t see his face, but long snowy-white hair hangs past his shoulders and ends halfway down his back. His shoulders are broad, and his waist is narrow. I feel power rolling off him in waves. His power feels different from what I’ve felt before.
I’m mesmerized as I watch him move, but then he stops and rises to his full height. He’s tall with a lean, muscular build. My heart rate increases as he stands very still with his back to me, holding his glowing sword. I don’t dare breathe.
His head turns toward the side, and I glimpse his profile for the first time. Sharp features with high cheekbones and pale skin. There is something otherworldly about his face. Suddenly, he turns and faces my direction, and I feel he is looking right at me.
My heart is in my throat as I swallow hard and fight the urge to run. His eyes are a brilliant green, but they are ablaze with anger. Just when I’m afraid he’ll come grab me from my hiding place, he walks toward a tree and then into it. I blink and try to determine what, exactly, I just witnessed. It was as if there was a ripple in the air, like when heat is coming off a paved road, and he stepped into the disturbed air and vanished.
When he doesn’t return, I walk over to where he stood and look at the space in front of the tree. Nothing seems out of place, so I reach my hand out to touch the tree cautiously. When my hand makes contact, nothing bizarre happens, even though my imagination had thought it would disappear. I’m relieved when it doesn’t.
The cloth he was using to clean his blade is still on the ground, so I pick it up. A gasp escapes my lips. The entire fabric is soaked in what must be blood. Who is he and what does it mean for him to be in my dream? His eyes looked familiar and gave me that strange feeling of Déjà vu.
I drop the cloth as if it burns. Something on the ground catches my eye. In my hand, I hold a necklace with a charm that I know so well. I wore it every day from the age of ten to twenty. It was a charm my mother gave me and asked me to wear always. When she and my father died, it was unbearable to see the reminder of what was lost each time I looked in the mirror. So it went in my jewelry box with a promise that one day when her loss wasn’t as painfully fresh, I’d start wearing it again.
39
Phantom
I wake to a pounding at my front door. Ugh! My bedside clock says, 7:00 a.m. but it feels earlier. Adam’s gone, and I wonder when he left.
As I rise from the bed, I realize I’m wearing yesterday’s clothes, and a quick look in the mirror shows dark circles from my mascara. I grab a makeup wipe and work on getting it off while I make my way to the front door. Someone has not stopped knocking.
“I’m coming,” I yell.
The memory of the White Warrior from my dream hovers at the edges of my mind. For some reason, this man scares me more than any of the vampires or werewolves from my previous nightmares, but I can’t say why. It’s just a feeling. I reach the door and look through the peep-hole to find Gabe standing in the hallway. I sigh and unlock the door for him. When I open the door, he rushes forward, grabbing me in a tight embrace. Even though his embrace feels warm and secure, it’s fierceness surprises me. I’m incapable of not responding to his hug.
“I’m so sorry, Sam. I swear I didn’t think the news would upset you so. If you want, I’ll never mention it again. Do you forgive me?” he says with his face buried in my shoulder and hair.
What can I say to that? It wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t have known the conflicts within me. It was simply more than I could bear after the past week. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back, the tip of the iceberg. And now the dream.
Why would my mother’s pendant be in my dream?
“Of course I forgive you. It was me, not you. I appreciate that you went to all this trouble for me,” I say, pulling back to gain some space from our closeness. Gabriel releases me reluctantly. Without conversation, he follows me into the living room and takes a seat, watching me as I make my way into the kitchen to start some coffee for us.
His being here feels comfortable and familiar. He did live with me for a few weeks while trying to protect me from Zac, the killer vampire. It’s true. I’ve missed him. A part of me will always love Gabe. What I feel for Gabe is normal and seems natural. But what I feel for Adam…I can’t help it, but I love Adam more. What I feel for Adam is primal, like breathing.
I have no doubt that Gabe could make me happy, but I long for Adam in a way that can’t be defined or explained away.
“How have you been, Gabe? I really have been so worried about you,” I say, handing him a cup of black coffee—just the way he likes it.
I love being around him and not being able to feel his emotions. I’m sure it’s a relief to him as well. Gabe once gave me two vials of his blood, which have magical properties. Gabe is a descendent of angels who broke God’s laws by having relations with humans. Their offspring were called Nephilim.
The offending angels were cursed to remain on Earth and forbidden access to Heaven. Their children, the Nephilim, were powerful and feared among humans. But a small sect of Nephilim set out to undo the wrongs of the past and fight to protect people from other supernatural beings who don’t live peacefully and secretly among humans.
These are Gabriel’s people, his family. Unfortunately, they live by a strict code with zero tolerance for rule breakers. Gabe is a major rule breaker, and now his family is searching for him because he shared his blood with me, which is a crime punishable by death. He did it to protect me. Gabriel is a bit of a rebel or black sheep.
Like I said, Gabe is a special guy. I will always be in his debt, and he will always hold a place in my heart. Which makes breaking things off with him even more difficult.
“I’ve been staying off the radar to avoid my family and execution.” He laughs. “I’ve been hiding right under their noses where they would least expect to find me. They would never believe I’d come to England. It’s worked so far.” Gabe takes a sip of his coffee and his eyes sparkle mischievously.
I’m starting to think that my mild-mannered professor is a thrill junkie after all. I smile at the thought.
“Adam filled me in on the witch, Giselle. I’m sorry that I wasn’t here for you, Sam.” Gabe’s look changes from playful to serious with his words.
I look at him thoughtfully. “You can’t be expected to spend your life guarding a trouble-magnet like me.” I laugh.
“But I would, Sam. I would give my life to protect you.” Gabe’s eyes reflect his conviction.
“I know you would. I’ve never meant to hurt you, Gabe. You do understand that I can’t help what I feel for Adam, don’t you?”
His head lowers and hangs for a few moments. I want to go to him and hug him, maybe even kiss away the pain my words are causing him. Who the hell am I to be loved by two incredible men? I’m not sure that I deserve either of them.
When his gaze meets mine once more, there is acceptance. I can’t imagine what he’s thinking. Regret that he risked so much for a woman who doesn’t love him back the way he deserves to be loved. Maybe. I do love him, but not with my soul as I do Adam. Gabe deserves to be loved like that.
“I don’t want this to be the end of our friendship, but I understand if you don’t want to see me anymore.” My eyes begin to fill with tears. “And I’ll gladly return the family items you loaned me.” I’m reluctant to give up my blade and pendant, but they were never actually mine to begin with.
&n
bsp; “I don’t want our friendship to end. Ever. The blade is yours, Sam. I want you to have it. It’s not the only thing my mother left me. She would have wanted you to have it as well.”
“Even if I’m not with her son?” I ask with a small grin.
“Even so. My mother had a warrior’s heart, and she would want a fighter to wield it. Considering the company, you keep, you’ll make good use of it I suspect.” Gave gives me a bitter-sweet smile. And it is.
“I don’t know what to say. Thank you. If you should ever want me to return it, I will.”
“Keep the pendant as a loan. It’s not mine to give. This way I’ve not broken any more family laws,” he says, laughing.
I’m relieved to keep the two items that afford me some advantage against vampires and werewolves who might mean me harm. I’m still bristling that it was too easy for a human to be compelled to knock me over the head and remove the pendant and dagger. I’ll need to step up my self-defense training and grow eyes in the back of my head.
Gabe and I talk a while longer before he tells me that he has things to tie up while he’s home. After he leaves, I get dressed for the day, avoiding any thoughts about the possibility of a grandmother across the sea. I’m already toying with the idea of taking a vacation to England. With all these questions about my identity, I need some answers, or I might never have peace again. I’m tempted to go, just to clear my parents’ names. Prove her a fraud and come home.
Just before sunset, Dayna calls.
“Are you home?” she asks breathlessly.
“Yes. Where’s the fire?” I tease.
“Do you have makeup on? What are you wearing?”
Those are curious questions. “What? I’m wearing workout clothes and no makeup. Why?” I ask, confused.