by Joey W. Hill
“Huh. I wonder if that’s also what this place is. The inside of someone’s mind, of many minds. A collection place for all our fantastic, unnatural and bizarre imaginings. Where the most random stray thoughts gather to play.”
“Possible.” Keldwyn leaned forward and clasped Uthe’s hand, drawing his attention. “Varick. Are you with me? Wholly here?”
Uthe nodded. “I’m waiting,” he said. “But I cannot tell for what. I know no one is playing a game with me right now. There’s a particular feeling when it’s the demon screwing with me, if that makes sense. How long did you look for me?”
“Time has very little meaning here,” Kel said.
It wasn’t a direct answer, which made Uthe pay closer attention to his companion. With his mind clearing, for the first time he noticed Keldwyn’s face was more drawn than usual. Unlike Uthe, he wore the same clothing he had on the other side of the gray wall, but his jerkin had been torn, and a faded, rust-colored stain suggested blood. Since the Fae Lord always moved with lissome grace, Uthe should have noted that he was moving more stiffly, not only when he’d knelt just now, but as he came across the field. His hair was still braided, but they were no longer the smooth, silken ropes Catriona had created. They were snagged and knotted, long wisps of hair loose around his smudged face.
Uthe knew the look from extended campaigns. Keldwyn had been traveling, sweating and fighting for a few days at least. No wonder the Fae had asked him if he was in his right mind, if Uthe had not noticed such things right away, let alone remarked on them. Kel’s fervent greeting made even more sense now.
“I just woke up,” he said. “Kel, how long have you been here?”
“It matters naught. I have found you now.”
The words yanked at him, a lifeline to pull him out of the dreamlike state trying to hold him like quicksand. “Yes, it matters. How long, my lord?” What was Kel trying to keep from him?
“If time could be measured here, perhaps a couple weeks.” At his startled look, Kel made a placating gesture. “It is what the Shattered World does. You should not ascribe any significance to it.”
Except it made Uthe feel as if he had lost more control of his mind than he’d expected, which he was sure was why Kel hadn’t wanted to reveal it to him. Uthe ran his fingers over the blood on the jerkin, the rip that had torn it. The top lacings were shredded, so his touch grazed Kel’s bare chest. “And who did this to you, my lord?” He knew his voice was hard, his eyes gone flat, because he saw the reflection in Kel’s face as he closed his hand around Uthe’s wrist.
“A few creatures who thought a new arrival in their world was fair game. They quickly learned otherwise. Fortunately it allowed me to acquire some weaponry, which is necessary here, because magic is unreliable.” He touched a quiver of arrows he had strapped on his back with a bow, a brace of daggers at his belt. He’d unsheathed a sword before kneeling and it lay next to them. Uthe had assumed Keldwyn had woken up with the armaments like he had. He put his hand on the pommel of his own sword.
“Do I have weapons, Kel? A sword?”
“Yes, my lord.” Keldwyn put his hand over Uthe’s so they could grip the hilt together, confirming it. “You also have a long dagger at your hip, as well as the dagger you carry to ward you against sunlight. It seems the Shattered World wanted to gift you with weapons.”
“Whereas it made you fight for them.” Uthe already didn’t like this place. He looked at the sword and weapons Kel was carrying. “They were heavily armed. You handled yourself well.”
Kel shrugged. “My glamor did not work on them, but my time shift skills did.”
“Time shift skills?”
“I can shift time for an opponent. Make his body blink out of this moment and reappear a moment later, perhaps only a few inches to the right or left of where he was. If I do it correctly, they phase into their future body. Most unpleasant and often fatal unless they have a way to counter it. I don’t use it often, because it is draining and it can cause larger ripples, but in this case, it became necessary, since the initial numbers were too large for me to handle without such tactics.”
During which, Uthe had been…what? Sleeping? Caught somehow in the limbo between the Fae world and this one? Why had the Shattered World wanted them to have such a lag between their appearances in this world?
“You are trying to ascribe logic to how the Shattered World does things. Chaos is what holds sway here. I won’t tolerate you castigating yourself. You will be the one who has to confront the demon directly. You needed your beauty sleep.” Keldwyn swept a gaze over him. “I see it didn’t do much good, but then vampires are not blessed with the natural beauty the Fae possess.”
Uthe gripped Kel’s tunic, drawing him forward. The Fae lifted a brow. “Do not get heavy-handed with me, vampire.” But there was a smile on his mouth that Uthe couldn’t resist touching with his own lips. He drew back after a light taste, but stayed close so he could lock gazes with the other male. He saw the relief in Kel’s face, the weariness.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” Kel fighting for his life while Uthe was taking some kind of nap, whether or not imposed by the Shattered World, rankled. But more than that, he remembered how he’d felt, thinking he’d never find Keldwyn. He’d experienced that for a few minutes only. The Fae had been wondering where he was, what had happened, and whether he and Uthe would ever find one another here, for a couple weeks.
Kel curled his fingers over Uthe’s. “It is of no consequence now. I have found you.” It was a reminder that Kel could hear all these things in Uthe’s mind, because Uthe was not doing a thing to keep him out of it.
“If you wish to apologize for your tardiness, I can think of several ways for you to express your chagrin.” Keldwyn leaned in, murmuring against Uthe’s ear. “I can punish you to ease your guilt in ways that will have you begging, vampire. There are so many things we have not explored together. Your capacity to take pain for pleasure is something I ache to investigate. You called me Master before you stepped over the threshold to this world, and I will hold you to it.”
Uthe’s fingers convulsed on him, the wave of sensual pleasure so strong he had to close his eyes. Since he’d only just begun to allow himself to respond to such things, the jolt of lust and need the threat incited was unexpected, part of the maze of surprising reactions he had to Kel exercising his Dominant nature around him. Over him.
“Your timing is appalling, my lord.”
Kel chuckled darkly. “There is no better time than the present to plant such thoughts in your mind. It may give you even more incentive to survive this hellish place. I know it does for me. And truth,”—his eyes burned into Uthe’s—“after the past few days, not knowing where you were, or if you had need of me at your side, I have a violent compulsion to impress things upon you far beyond the realm of appalling.”
Uthe could see it in his expression, in the hum of energy coming off his body, a mix of magic and potent male need. Thanks to the vulnerabilities the Ennui created in him, Uthe now had a better understanding his own deepest, darkest needs. It wasn’t an orientation like humans understood in their structured BDSM play; it was who vampires were at their core. No safe words or contracts. Apparently, his Fae had those same compulsions.
Which was why Uthe found himself relieved that Kel was much more powerful than him. He wanted that punishment, wanted to feel what it was to completely surrender to a Master, more than just the hints of what they’d experienced so far together. Was it this world that brought such longings out, so naked and raw? He thought of Keldwyn drawing the long dagger he carried, sliding it slowly along Uthe’s flesh, leaving a thin rivulet of blood he would place his mouth over…
“By the gods, being in your head, seeing where you go with what I say to you, how I touch you… If we survive this, Varick, I will not permit you to leave my bed for a decade. I will chain you there, naked and beautiful, and savor you with all the decadence and cruelty the fairy tales tell you a Fae can possess.” Kel m
oved his mouth to Uthe’s throat, and Uthe tipped his head back as the Fae bit him there. Though it was just a light nip, he shuddered, a growl vibrating in his chest. Kel pressed his forehead hard against the column of Uthe’s throat, his mouth on his shoulder. “I have lived long enough to know that two weeks is a blink, yet these were the longest two weeks of my life, thinking you were lost and wandering, under attack…needing my presence.”
“Needing you.” Uthe corrected him, making it more intimate. He stroked the back of Kel’s head, slipped his fingers over the thick braid of dark hair. “Yet here you find I was just cheerfully napping, in no need of you at all. No wonder you want to take a strip off my ass.”
Kel lifted his head, his expression showing the serious moment had passed. “More than a strip, I can promise you, my lord. Flaying comes to mind.”
Uthe straightened abruptly. The wind had brought him a sound, the snorting of a horse. Keldwyn was on his feet next to him in the same blink. Shoulder to shoulder, they scanned the area around them for the threat.
The snort came again, and Uthe found the source. His eyes widened. “Nexus.”
The destrier stood on the edge of the blue field of grass, just outside the line of red trees. He was a blood bay with heavy black mane and tail, and his dark eyes searched the meadow grass as he shifted restlessly left and right. Uthe gave a sharp whistle. The horse’s head came back toward him like a rifle muzzle sighting its target, and then he burst into an artistic display of motion, a high stepping charge more like a dance than a run. His mane and tail streamed out, his powerful neck arched, and a series of piercing whinnies and snorts punctuated his short trip to Uthe.
“Show off,” Uthe muttered, though he thought his heart might brim over with joy.
Nexus came to a halt before Uthe and shoved him backwards with his massive head. Uthe kept his balance thanks to his vampire strength, but he remembered how often Nexus enjoyed catching his squire by surprise with that move, sending Jacques ass over end into the dirt. When he thought Uthe was out of hearing range, the squire had often threatened to quarter the horse for stew, but Uthe knew Jacques loved the spirited creature almost as much as he did. Had.
Nexus had died at Hattin, just as Jacques had, despite Uthe’s best efforts to save them both. Still, even if it was a trick of this world, he was going to call the horse’s appearance a blessing. He petted the velvet soft nose and his muscular neck, pressing up against his shoulder as he did so. He ran his hands over the horse’s back, sides and legs, a habit that came back to him as if he’d been doing the post-matins check of horse and equipment as recently as yesterday. “You are looking fine, old boy,” he crooned. “Ready to take on Saladin’s entire army, aren’t you?”
A snort agreed with him. Keldwyn had drawn closer, so Uthe made the introductions. “This is Nexus. He was the mount I had the longest. Most horses fear vampires, but as long as I wore the dagger, they were fine. Though I think Nexus’s courage overrode any concerns about me as a predator.” He moved to the horse’s flank, drawing Keldwyn’s attention to the trio of scars. There was a matching set on the other side.
“We were chaperoning pilgrims to the River Jordan. When we made camp, after nightfall, we were attacked by a pair of lions. Leonard and I dispatched one of them, but the other got to Nexus. The lion had leaped and grabbed onto his flanks like this. Nexus spun around and around, screaming. He dislodged the lion, but he didn’t run or retreat as most horses would when he got free. He went after him, and crushed the lion beneath his hooves.”
Nexus had settled and was gazing at him with a satisfied look, as if knowing the story being told. Uthe remembered approaching the horse afterwards, speaking soothingly, touching him as he trembled. Nexus’s eyes had flashed and he’d plunged forward, bringing his hooves down on the lion’s inert body, stomping on him again and again, refusing to let Uthe pull him away. The pilgrims had crossed themselves at the horse’s savage behavior. When Uthe had managed to coax him back at last, Nexus’s hooves and forelegs were spattered with blood. Uthe had understood it, though. For certain warriors, a near fatal attack triggered a fury within them. They couldn’t contain it in the aftermath, for that rage overcame any lingering fear of death. When he’d joined the Templars, he’d been driven by such a killing rage, though the fears he’d been exorcising were quite different in nature.
Keldwyn approached the horse’s other side. After a weighted moment of eye contact, Nexus lowered his head, accepting the Fae’s touch. “A remarkable earth spirit,” Kel commented. “Is this what you were waiting for?”
“I think so, because now I feel like we can go.” Uthe grimaced. “Apparently the Shattered World thought we needed a ride. We used to ride palfreys between battles. Nexus and the other destriers were only ridden to practice maneuvers and keep them in shape. But I expect he won’t mind carrying us for something as mundane as a walk through the forest, will you, Sir Nexus?”
The horse shook out his mane and snorted, stomping his feet.
“I’ll take that as a yes, though it’s also a ‘why are we just standing here’ fidget. Jacques used to have to play a lyre to get him to sleep.”
“You were fond of your squire.”
Uthe chuckled. “The relationship between knight and squire was defined as Master and servant. Yet Jacques served for nothing more than food and shelter, and the Rule said, ‘If that squire willingly serves charity, the brother should not beat him for any sin he commits.’ He knew that, clever lad. Sometimes he let his smart mouth run away with him. One day after a skirmish, we were setting up camp for the night and I found a dropped coin from one of our fallen enemies. I tossed it to Jacques. When he caught it, I informed him he’d accepted pay for his services and now I could take a sword blade to his arse. He led me a merry chase around the camp.”
Keldwyn’s smile brought Uthe more good feelings. Swinging up on the horse’s back, he was delighted by how easily the memory came to him. All the memories of that time were flooding back into his head, more real and vivid than the vampire world he’d left behind only a couple days ago. It was reassuring, though he knew it could well be false confidence.
“The other knights used to wonder how I did that in full armor and mail. Manfred, my sergeant, would tell them it was the Lord’s strength fueling me.” He settled onto the horse’s bare back. He would need no tack with Nexus, who could respond to the touch of his legs and hands alone. Uthe extended a hand to a bemused-looking Kel. “He can take both of us. Will you ride with me, my lord?”
Kel accepted his assistance and swung on behind him. Though Kel’s own natural flexibility and strength got him there capably enough, Uthe embraced the firm grasp between their hands. He rested his palm on one of Kel’s thighs as they framed Uthe’s hips. Keldwyn’s chest pressed against Uthe’s back as he reached around him and withdrew the seal from beneath his tunic and mail, studying the emblem of the two knights riding one horse. Tucking it back under Uthe’s clothing, he wrapped an arm around his waist, settling his groin firmly against Uthe’s buttocks, making him wish he wasn’t wearing a full mail shirt.
“Do you think it has significance, our current circumstances matching that symbol?” Uthe asked.
“I would neither assume nor discount anything in this world. Where are we going?”
“Hold on.” Uthe fell silent, opening his mind. He’d learned his lesson in how Keldwyn had come to him. Instead of straining the limits of his senses, he used the meditation techniques of a lifetime to calm everything. No matter the obstacles in this world, he had to believe his blood link to the demon and two souls was something the Shattered World couldn’t mask, because that link hadn’t been blocked when he was in his own world. Plus, the mind link between him and Keldwyn had appeared quickly once he was able to focus on it through prayer.
There. At first, it was just a hint, but after hundreds of years, he recognized the connection, whether it was so slender it was a transparent thread, or a rope thick as his arm. He pressed his knees into
Nexus’s sides, and the horse moved forward at his direction. Keldwyn’s arms tightened around him. They rode in silence for a time. Uthe figured Keldwyn was respecting his need to concentrate, which was why he was surprised when the Fae’s weight against him grew heavier, his head dipping to touch Uthe’s nape over the folded mail coif. A sigh, an adjustment, and his cheek was pillowed against Uthe’s shoulder and the curve of his neck. Uthe covered one of the hands resting on his hip, drew it forward. Another adjustment, and the exhausted Fae clasped them around Uthe’s waist fully. Kel grunted and subsided further into sleep.
Keldwyn had said he drew his food from the elements if needed, but was this the natural world? Did the Shattered World nourish him the way the Fae and mortal realms did? How often had he had to fight for his life over these past couple weeks?
He was afraid he had the answer to one of those questions. He’d never seen the Fae tired to the point of exhaustion, which suggested Keldwyn had not been able to find energy here to nourish him, at least not in the amounts he needed for full strength. His initial exuberance had been fueled by an adrenaline surge, caused by finding Uthe. But now that had ebbed.
A second mark could get nourishment from a vampire’s blood. Not as much as they would if they were third marked, where their mortality was inescapably linked to the vampire’s, but it could give them some energy, the way food might. Yet what were the chances that he could talk Kel into drinking from him? He’d just fantasized about Kel cutting him and the Fae tasting the blood from the cut. If Kel had seen that in his mind, he hadn’t reacted in horror. But they’d had other priorities right then.