by Dawn Martens
“Well, he’s a boy, and boys like eating dirt. I was just helping him out,” she said, smiling sweetly.
“I’ll get you back,” I muttered so her mom couldn’t hear.
Snapping out of the memory, I again hear Eden’s voice on the phone. “Work?” she asks, sounding confused.
I chuckle. “Yeah, darlin’, work. We don’t just ride around on our bikes all day. Later.” I click the phone off and hand it back to Zippo.
We all work normal week day jobs. Myself, Zippo- whose real name is Vinny, and Reaper- whose real name is Mason, all work at Angel’s Repair Shop, the shop I own, but we also have the MC, a club I now wouldn’t change for anything. “We’ll ride over after we finish up here, get the info we need and see what we can do.” I pause. “You know who that was?”
“Yeah, I know her, man. It’s Eden. Why do you think I made you take that call?” he says angrily, passing me a file from the desk. “I was given this file from Paula, the girl at the local court house. She wanted me to keep my ear out about this family. When I recognized the last name, fuck man, my heart raced. Yeah, I know, makes me sound like a pussy, but it’s bad. When I say bad, think of all the kids we protected from sickos over the last year, and put it all onto one kid.” He looks disgusted by what he has learned from the file. He shuffles his hat around on his head anxiously, making me just wonder what in the hell this file holds. Vinny and Eden used to be good friends growing up—the keyword being used to. He helped me look for her when she first disappeared on me. He was just as determined as I was to find her, but eventually, he and Mason gave up. It took me a little longer to accept that she was gone. I did some things I’m not proud of after she left, but I’m not that man anymore. I can’t help but wonder if she would like the man I am today.
Taking the file from him, I scan it over. With every word I read, my rage builds. This entire file pisses me the hell off. He’s right; when we are called to protect or save someone, it’s usually just one thing to protect them from. Typically, we are dealing with abuse, or occasionally, the suspicion or threat of murder. This…fuck, this is bad. What the hell happened to Eden? “I thought this fucker was dealt with years ago after the bust?” I spit out to Zippo. “Big Willy told us that Martha ran off with Eden the week after I came back from dealing with Roni. This fuckin’ file says she’s missing, presumably murdered, and Eden has a kid sister?”
“Yeah, man, I thought so, too. Not sure how Big Willy is still around. This file, though, I looked into it more. After the raid, he stayed under the radar for years, letting everyone think he was dead. I wish I could find that fuckin’ bastard that had confirmed he was in the ground. However, the asshole is dead himself. I bet you anything that fat fucker took him out so he wouldn’t rat.” He pauses before continuing, catching his breath. “The house he was living in wasn’t even in his name, but under one of the old club whores. According to the file, it also says that Eden says she witnessed her father murder her mother. The cops didn’t believe that, but they still wrote it down in the file. As for the kid, the mother used to be one of the club whores from the old days.” Of course she is; her old man always loved easy pussy.
“Call Reaper. The three of us will go over. The way she sounded on the phone, I don’t think she’ll open the door if we all show up at the house. We’ll go in small.” Damn, this isn’t going to be easy.
He nods and goes into the office. The last time I saw Eden, she was seventeen, I was twenty-one, and she willingly gave me her virginity in the back seat of my truck. A week later, after not hearing shit from her, I sought out her dad. He informed me that she was gone, and I swear I felt like someone cut me open and tore out my heart. I’ve wondered about her every day since.
“Anyone heard from Eden lately?” I asked the guys, feeling confused as to why I hadn’t heard from her for a while. I felt like shit. I left town for a week without telling her, but I had to take care of shit with Roni.
They both shook their heads no. Normally, Eden would meet up with me at my house, or her mom would call, telling me the coast was clear. I never quite understood why they didn’t want me around when Eden’s dad was home, but it was something I’d gotten used to over the years. Not hearing from either one of them for days wasn’t normal.
Maybe she was pissed at me for not letting her know I’d be gone.
“Hey, isn’t that Eden’s dad?” Vinny said, nodding to the big guy wearing the Satan’s Law cut over by the corner of the street, looking sketchy.
“Yeah, I’m gonna go talk to him, see what’s goin’ on with Eden.” I got up from the table we were sitting at outside Momma B’s bakery and walked over.
“What you want, boy?” Eden’s dad, Big Willy, sneered at me. He was a mean ass son of bitch, that one.
“Just wonderin’ where Eden’s been. Haven’t seen her or heard from her in a while.” I shrugged, pushing my hands into the pockets of my jeans.
“Gone. That bitch and her whore of a mother left. Don’t know where, don’t fuckin’ care,” he said, taking a drag from his dope.
“Gone? What the fuck do you mean gone?” I shouted.
“Just what I said, boy. Now get gone,” he said, sounding bored and not lookin’ at me.
I ran back over to the guys. “She’s fuckin’ gone. Where the fuck would she go?” I asked, slamming my fist into the table.
I stomped into the clubhouse, pissed. It had been a month, and still no Eden. I didn’t know where the fuck she went, or why she went—no one was giving me any answers. I knew Big Willy knew more then he let on, but he wasn’t saying shit.
I found Zippo grabbing a beer from the bar and went over to him. “You finally ready to give up yet, man?”
I shook my head, snatching a beer from Bruce. “No, not just yet.”
He snorted. “Brother, hate to say this, but she’s gone. I doubt she’s coming back.”
I gave him a shove. “Man, don’t say that shit. We both know eventually she’ll come back. And I’ll be waiting,” I told him.
He narrowed his eyes. “So until then, what? You gonna be a celibate moron?” he asked in disgust.
“I don’t want anyone but her, man,” I told him honestly.
Another month later, that wasn’t true… I had pussy, lots of it. One thing is for sure, I never stopped loving her. Eden’s always owned a piece of me.
“Hey, man, it’s lunch. Don’t you normally go meet Monica about now?” Zippo says, coming into my work bay.
“Fuck,” I say, leaning against the car I’m working on. There’s a reminder of how much shit has changed since Eden left me nine years ago. I never planned on getting involved with Monica, but shit happened—hell, life happened.
“What are you gonna do about that, anyways?” he asks, lighting up a smoke.
I let out a breath and shake my head. “Eden’s back. What do you think?” I say, looking up at him. I knew the minute I heard her name that I’d be ending shit with Monica.
He grins. “Thought so. She’s not gonna take it well, though.” He flicks his zippo a few times, watching the flame flicker then fade. That’s about how I feel about Monica right now. Our flame burned briefly, but it fizzled out just as quickly.
“Yeah, I know, but she’s also always known how I felt about Eden. After I throttle the fuck outta her for leaving me in the first place, Eden is mine,” I tell him, walking over to the sink to wash up. I smear degreaser over my hands, knowing it won’t do much good.
“You really just gonna break it off with Monica, though? After all you two went through together?” Zippo asks, sounding somewhat shocked.
I nod. “Yes. I don’t love her. She knows that. We’ll always be connected with the shit that happened with us, but that’s it. How much you want to bet that Eden’s little sister is in her class? She probably already saw this coming. She’s not stupid,” I say. Monica was with me during my rough shit. I got stupid and got into drugs and shit. She was there for me; hell, we helped each other get sober.
At
least, if she knows Eden’s back, it’ll be easier. I look at the file again. Eden’s been back a few months, which means Monica’s known and has probably been waiting for me to find out. No wonder she’s been cancelling or just not wanting to get together lately—putting off the inevitable. She knows Eden’s always owned my heart. I finish cleaning up the best I can.
I turn out and hop on my bike, revving it up. “Good luck, man!” Zippo shouts over the engine.
I make the short drive to the school where Monica teaches. After parking, I text Monica to meet me just outside of the school for lunch, and she just sends a simple one word text back—Okay. That’s it.
She knows why I’m here; might as well get it over with. I tuck my phone into the inner pocket of my cut.
I notice young kids going outside to play, and I spot her, the little girl that looks like Eden. It’s not even so much that she looks like Eden—she carries herself with the same attitude. She does have her sister’s blonde hair, though. I catch the end of a conversation she’s having with another little girl. “My sister makes the best lasagna ever. She says it was her mom’s recipe. She’s going to teach me to make it.” She has to be talking about Eden. Her mom always made the best lasagna.
“Hey,” Monica says quietly when she steps outside. Her face is cold and devoid of any emotion. Normally, she has a big smile for me. Not today.
“Hey. I guess you know.” I shove my hands in my pockets, feeling awkward. I’m not sure just what to say. Do I tell her, sorry, my ex-girlfriend’s shown up after nine years, and I want her back?
She nods. “I always knew one day it might happen. Always hoped it wouldn’t, but here we are,” she says with a sad smile. Her shoulders droop, and her face sags.
“I’m sorry, Monica. With our shit, what we shared the last few years especially, I don’t want to hurt you. But I need her,” I say, trying to sound as gentle as I can. I never wanted to hurt her. I’ve always been up front with her, always.
A tear leaks out, and she tries to wipe it away without me noticing. “I hope she doesn’t break your heart again, Jas. I really hope not. But I don’t ever want to be someone’s second choice, so if you ever do decide to want me again, it won’t happen, no matter how much I love you,” she says, stepping back from me. She shifts her feet nervously.
“I’m sorry,” I say simply. Not much more I can do than that. I go to give her a friendly hug, but she sidesteps away from me.
“No, you really aren’t, and that’s okay. I should be used to this. You talk in your sleep more often than not,” she tells me. I rub my beard; that’s something I didn’t know. “I don’t think we should be friends either, it’ll be too hard. I need a clean break.” she says, looking down at the ground.
“I never said we couldn’t be friends, Monica. Don’t be that way. You knew this was coming. You said so yourself.”
“Doesn’t make it any easier, Jasper. I almost wish I hadn’t ever known about her, about your feelings for her. At least, then, I could pretend to have a good reason to hate you.” She shakes her head and looks away from me. “I think you should go now, and please don’t come back. I don’t want to see you. Oh, and if you find yourself heartbroken and snorting your problems away… don’t count on me to pick you up again. I won’t be there to save you next time she runs off on you,” she says bitterly. I know she’s hurt, but damn that was brutal.
Have I done the right thing? Calling them—those bikers, Angels Warriors, is that the best way to protect Glenna? My mind races. Focusing my attention, I continue to clean up the kitchen so that when the MC shows up they aren’t walking into a pigsty. That word—God, that word; I cringe even thinking about the word that brought me so much pain. My father used that word a lot. Guess it stuck with me. I also baked a pie, cake, and some brownies. I don’t know what bikers like or eat, but, this way, I have it here. While Glenna was in school, I made a quick run to the store to pick up bottles of pop and water. I don’t keep beer or liquor in the house. I don’t want Glenna to grow up anything like I did.
As I put the last dish away, I can hear the sound of bikes coming down the street. Glenna looks up from her homework and smiles. “It’s the Angels, Edie!” she says, smiling ear to ear. Her green eyes are sparkling with wonder.
I take a deep breath and try not to let my nerves get to me. “Whew,” I exhale and mentally prepare myself for whatever is about to walk through my door. “I’m gonna talk to them for a bit, okay? You stay in here and finish up this homework.” I look over her math homework she has and scratch my head. That stuff looks really hard.
She nods at me as I smile and rub her head before walking to the front door when I hear the knock. I run a quick look over myself in the mirror near the entryway, hoping I look okay. I sigh, feeling silly, like I need to worry about impressing some biker club.
Pulling in a breath, and making sure my hair is covering my right eye and most of my face, I open the door, and oh my. I’m staring into the darkest brown eyes I’ve ever seen. I feel stupid looking into his eyes. He’s younger than I thought. But he’s huge—must be at least six foot three, not bulky like I was expecting. Tattoos cover his toned arms. Hair is a beautiful shade of dark brown, cut short. The beard- I’ve never been a fan of those on a man, but it suits him. Staring at his mouth, I notice when he starts to smirk. Then recognition sets in.
“Oh my God! Jasper?” I say shocked. It can’t be. Dad told me he ran off with Roni, the school slut, the day after I gave him my virginity. He broke my heart, and never again did I let anyone in. At first, I didn’t want to believe my father, but even though he was an abusive jerk, one thing I’ve never known him to do was lie to me. So, eventually, I gave in and believed it. When I moved back here six months ago, I was worried about running into him or seeing him. I thought he loved me; guess I thought a lot of things, though. This just got a whole lot of awkward. He looks good, though; he wears the tough biker look well, dressed in a white t-shirt, leather cut, and torn jeans.
He gives me a slight smile. “Yeah, Edie, it’s me.” He watches me, seeming just as uneasy about our reunion as I feel.
I almost reach out to hug him, but I remember that he hurt me. Instead, I just nod and step aside to allow him in. His face falls, a frown forming. He looks hurt. He shouldn’t have that look; he’s the one that hurt me. Two other large gruff men follow behind him closely—one carrying a file under his left arm. I stare at them closely, trying to think if I know them. They look mean as hell. These aren’t the kind of men you’d want to meet in a dark alley, that’s for sure. I begin to wonder if this was such a good idea after all.
They make themselves comfortable on my tan couch. It isn’t the prettiest thing, but it was cheap, and I needed it desperately. “Do you want a snack or anything? I have some pop and water in the kitchen, too,” I say, fidgeting and trying not to seem so stiff and unnatural. It’s my Jasper—well, he used to be mine, or so I thought for a fleeting moment. I should feel comfortable with him, but those hurt feelings have resurfaced.
I walked into high school, my first day, with a grin on my face, flanked by Hilary and Lilly. Jasper, Mason, and Vinny were already there. They said they’d meet us by the first floor fountains.
My mom and I had gone on a vacation over the summer. I was shocked because, really, Dad normally put a stop to that stuff. But he was all for it. He couldn’t wait to be rid of us, actually.
I hadn’t seen Jasper since I got home the week before. I’d never admit to him that I had a crush. No, I’d never tell him that I wanted to kiss him all over. I was only a freshman, and he was a senior. I doubted he’d want a silly fourteen-year-old virgin freshmen. He should have graduated by that point, but he failed sixth grade, and his birthday came late in the school year. Mason and Vinny were the same age, just a few months difference, and they were all in same year of school. I’d often made fun of Jasper for failing, saying he did it on purpose so he could be in the same classes as his friends. Since I was now doing my avoiding Jasper y
ear, I really wished he hadn’t failed so I wouldn’t have to try my hardest to avoid him.
Most of the reason why I agreed with Mom about the vacation to Florida over the summer was because I saw Jasper and Roni having sex the day before we left. It hurt. I didn’t call or talk to Jasper all summer. We got home to find the answering machine was maxed out on messages from him.
He didn’t understand why I hadn’t called him or was mad at him. By the last few messages, he realized I was away with Mom for the summer, but he couldn’t understand why I didn’t let him know beforehand.
Whatever. I wasn’t going to call him back. Hilary was the one to let me know the guys wanted us to meet them. She was dating Mason.
I was not going to let Jasper bring me down on my first day of high school. Be Civil, Eden, I said repeatedly to myself in my head. I could do that.
I smiled at the guys but didn’t make eye contact with Jasper as we spotted them. “Hey, guys,” I said, smiling.
“Hey, you have fun this summer?” Jasper asked, scowling. I avoided his stare, but I could feel his eyes burning a hole through me like lasers.
I didn’t answer him. I flat out ignored him. Only Hilary and Lilly knew why; they both agreed with me that I needed to let my crush go.
I looked to Vinny and Mason and grinned. “Hey, guys, what did you do this summer?” I asked them. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jasper fuming. Good. Both Vinny and Mason looked confused, but they answered me.
“Uh, good, normal shit,” Mason answered.
“Hung out, boring summer actually,” Vinny said. “What about you?”
I smiled. “I had a blast. Mom and I went to Florida. Talked her into going on some roller coasters. It was totally epic. Of course, though, this weekend, you need to come over and tease her, because she kept making up excuses while in the line for the ride. ‘I have to poop.’ Over and over. Pfft, I didn’t buy it. What a chicken,” I said, laughing.