John shrugged. “Just in case, that’s all.” He turned around and Katey took a few deep breaths to try and calm her nerves again. Even the wolf in her was pacing, growing impatient.
They arrived at the security gates at the park just in time. The moon was making its subtle climb into the sky and she could feel Logan begin to tremble and fidget.
He shifted and grunted, his face contorting as if he were in pain. Absorbed in her own thoughts, she had completely ignored Logan’s mounting discomfort. Turning to him now, she could see it radiating off of him like an aura. He tried to hide it, controlling his facial muscles from twisting with agony, but Katey knew better, that nothing was all right for him right now.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
Dustin heard her question and looked over his shoulder at the two of them, scrutinizing Logan’s body language. By the knowing look in his eye, he understood perfectly what was going on.
“Just hold it in, Logan. We’re almost there,” he said.
She looked to Logan and saw his jaws clenched tight.
It was then that she remembered it was his time of the month to change. His wolf side must have been pushing against his human skin, demanding release. She wondered if it would feel the same way for her next month when she changed without the aid of an alpha to coax her. Was it like when she refused to eat that first day and she lost all control of her own body to the beast inside of her? Or was it more excruciating? Like being disemboweled alive without anesthetic and seeing this other life spring forth with a mind of its own?
Katey wrapped her arm around his waist and squeezed in an effort to distract him. It seemed to work a little, but it wasn’t enough to keep the searing pain at bay.
When they were pulling into the park’s parking area, Logan suddenly pulled away from Katey. His hands worked at the knot in his bandana around his neck and yanked it free to wrap it around her wrist with gentle, almost tender hands. It smelt so distinctly of him that she nuzzled her nose into the piece of cloth and deeply inhaled his scent.
“No matter what happens tonight, know that I will be thinking of you... Wear this for good luck,” he whispered to her, kissing just behind her ear. Katey smiled and kissed him back, but planted her lips on his. The boys in the back hooped, but she didn’t care. They were mated now and nothing could come between them.
As soon as they parked their vehicle with all the others, Logan was the first to be let out because of his urgent state. Katey exited last after John’s sons, but couldn’t see Logan anywhere in the waning light of the snowy forest.
His absence was felt keenly, not only by her but by her wolf. They had both grown so used to having him around that it was torturous to be without him for too long. But, their bond was still strong and she could somehow sense how far away he was as he put more distance between the two of them.
It was for her own safety, but somehow she wished that he could have been there to see her change for the first time. She so desperately wanted to see him beam with pride when he saw that his efforts to make her loup-garou had not been in vain. That moment would have to wait until the morning when they were back at the warm lodge and sleeping off a long night in front of the fireplace.
She watched the crowd of loups-garous depart from their vehicles, most of them wearing just pants or shorts in the frigid cold, walking through the dense foliage to the gathering place as they talked amongst one another in lighthearted tones. But Katey sensed something far different. There was a heaviness about the crowd, like a thunderstorm descending over a faraway hill.
She spotted Forrest arrive with another group that included Parker and a few others that she had met back in Crestucky. They must have been the Devian pack, or at least some of them. They waved and she shyly waved back as they continued on to disappear into the darkness.
Some of them seemed anxious, but others were ecstatic and running about to find their friends before disappearing through the trees. They all had one thing in common; the expectancy of a glorious night ahead filled with camaraderie and play.
There was nothing too serious about this gathering except for Katey and the miracle she had brought to their community. She was the only female there and everyone knew it, too. Many turned their heads to regard her with a curious look, as if they didn’t understand why she was there amongst close to a hundred loups-garous when all the other women were back at the lodge. Clearly, they didn’t think this was a proper place for a woman, even if she was loup-garou. She would prove them wrong. Soon, they would know what it was like to run with a female.
Aiden, Liam, and Blake gave her approving looks before they shed their shirts and ran to join the others. Noah approached her after stepping out of the vehicle and placed a light hand on her shoulder.
“Good luck tonight, Katey,” he said with a nod. “I’ll see you out there.”
Without another word, he also slipped his shirt over his head to toss it into the vehicle and hurried to catch up with his brothers.
Katey tried not to recognize the dejected look in his eyes, but it was too obvious for her to ignore. Noah must have taken a liking to her somewhere between that morning and the afternoon. It was a good thing that Logan wasn’t there to see it, otherwise he might have tried to challenge Noah without good reason. She was Logan’s and always would be.
Darren and John came up beside Katey and led her a little farther in another direction, away from everyone else. The trio was silent and Katey was mostly listening to their excited conversations in the distance. Some spoke about her, others were reuniting with old friends, just as Darren had talked about. What she wouldn’t have given to be among them right then and meet them all face-to-face.
They walked through the woods until they reached a small deserted clearing. Oddly enough, Katey couldn’t hear any other noises in the forest besides the loups-garous. It was like the entire world slipped into reverent silence as soon as the loups-garous walked in. The forest must have been full of predators, but none like them. Even nature showed respect for the beasts.
John and Darren watched the sky and patiently waited without speaking. No words were needed, not yet.
Katey hugged herself around her stomach and tried to wish away the storm of feeling that threatened to conquer her. Darren placed a firm but comforting hand on her shoulder, keeping his eye on the twilight sky. His gesture was one of caring intent, assuring her that all would be well and Katey didn’t shy from it.
She tried to hold onto the fact that the guys were there to help; that they wouldn’t let anything bad happen to her and perhaps it wouldn’t be as terrible as what she thought. No one else at the gathering seemed concerned about the change they would have to endure, so why should she?
Within moments, all light was gone from the heavens and the moon shined its brightest toward the east, washing the world in its bluish gray ethereal glow. The stars sparkled brilliantly against the black night and Katey’s superb night vision allowed her to see every detail of her surroundings as clearly as if they were in the daytime.
Then, all grew very silent. The voices at the gathering place shushed and the only sounds she could hear were her own heavy, shaky breaths and the pulsing heartbeats of the men beside her. Katey tried to inhale deeply through her nose, but her breaths came out shivering between her lips, pluming into mist.
A gut-wrenching scream split the night air. Katey jumped and almost fell over if she didn’t have Darren steadying her. She recognized the scream. It was the same kind of scream that Logan belted out when Erik had him in the shoulder hold during their fight. She felt hot tears sting in her eyes and spill down her cheeks, knowing that her love was suffering and she couldn’t do anything about it. This was the natural course of nature for them. Pain was expected to be endured.
The scream gradually turned into a mighty roar, which was then joined by many more from the gathering. Screams, roars, growls and yelps erupted like an explosion, shattering her heart like it were glass and the pieces falling into th
e crisp snow at her feet. Terror and sorrow pierced her soul, empathizing with their agony.
Through the pack bond, she could feel Logan, Dustin, and Ben changing into their loup-garou forms probably miles away from where she stood. Even the wolf within her whined and whimpered for the poor souls.
Which scream belonged to Forrest? Or Noah? Would Liam, a mighty man in his human form, scream in such pain? Which loups-garous among them were changing for the first time? Which were veterans at this gathering?
John and Darren didn’t seem to be bothered by their cries. Such sounds had become part of their life, their loup-garou life. It was the nature of the beast. Nothing could be done for the pain but to accept it. After a few tormenting moments, the screams and roars subsided and turned into only the occasional grunt or sort of excited barking as loups-garous met each other in their truest forms.
The two men stood on either side of her and waited a few more moments while the others at the gathering became too distracted with each other to care about anyone else nearby.
“Are you ready?” John asked, turning to Katey.
She gave him a nervous laugh and shook her head. “Not really.” How could she possibly be ready for what she just vicariously experienced through her pack members?
“It’s best you get it over with as soon as you can. If you continue to be nervous about it, you’ll never be ready and when your other half comes out it’ll hurt that much more.”
Darren gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze and then let go to join John.
“First, you need to clear your mind of all other thoughts and distractions,” John said, helping Katey lower herself to the snow-covered ground, her clothes growing moist as the ice crystals melted beneath her.
Katey closed her eyes and tried to clear out any and all thoughts, just as John instructed. It was harder than anticipated. After a couple of moments, she shook her head in dismay. “I can’t, I’m too nervous.” She wasn’t afraid to be candid with them. They probably demanded it. If she felt anything amiss, they would want to know.
“You can do this, Katey. If it helps, look up at the moon. Focus on it,” Darren advised.
Katey looked up at the full, bright moon. Wisps of translucent clouds just barely concealing it, but it was still visible. She had never seen anything so magnificent in nature. She had seen the moon before back home, but never like this and it wasn’t hard to tell what made the difference. Not only was she looking at it, but her wolf was as well.
She gazed, almost longingly at the moon, letting it overwhelm her vision. The loup-garou golden hue spiraled over her green irises. Gradually, she could feel the wolf inside push toward the surface, testing the ground it treaded upon with a certain hesitancy as if it had never been this close to becoming unleashed before.
“Good, now just relax and feel the wolf inside, focus on that feeling and let her out.”
John’s voice sounded so far away. She had never thought of the wolf spirit being a female. She always regarded it as a thing, neither male nor female. The thought that it was a female just like her, sparked the beginning of a stronger bond between them. If it was a girl as well, then maybe there was some way to connect with it after all. They had some common ground to stand on.
She tried harder to focus, taking deep breaths, but the wolf presence within her stayed strangely distant as she continued to gaze at the moon. Her ears were filled with the gentle beating of her heart. The wolf was just on the cusp of its journey to the surface, but was hesitant to take the next step. It was as if it could sense Katey’s uneasiness and it inspired a skittishness in the wolf as well.
Then, Katey began to feel warm inside, starting in her gut and slowly spreading through her to battle against the frigid Alaskan winter. She wasn’t sure if that was the feeling she was supposed to have, but she didn’t fight it. Katey welcomed it and could begin to feel the heat turn hot like lava. She knew this feeling. This was right. It burned through her blood and Katey winced, still keeping her golden eyes on the sky. It was the same sensation she felt when Erik gripped her shoulder and the wolf became a little bolder. The change was coming soon.
The black wolf padded about the clearing, its piercing blue eyes darting between his fellow wolves, but none of them could help him. None could tell him what was wrong, but they could all feel it with him and were just as concerned as he was.
Something’s missing, it’s aching.
What is it? Have to find it. Where is it?
Something missing. Something lost.
Have to find it. Must find it. Must stop the pain.
His massive paws dug into the earth beneath the layers of snow, clawing into the soil, readying himself for the hunt ahead.
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“That’s it. Just focus on that feeling, don’t fight it. Just let it flow,” Darren’s voice coaxed to her from the sidelines as the pain became steadily more intense.
Katey gritted her teeth and clenched her hands into tight fists, digging her nails into her palms. Blood trickled from her skin from the sheer force of her grip, but this pain was nothing compared to what pulsated through every bone and muscle in her body.
“It burns,” Katey groaned as the pain deepened to her very soul.
“I know, just let it out. You’re doing fine,” John’s voice muttered from the distance. Through it all, she could sense an excited note in his voice.
Katey could feel her vision narrowing. The burning became so great she could have sworn she was on fire, inside and out.
Then, from the darkened gloom, Katey heard a lonely howl coming from the gathering place. One more joined it, and then it became a chorus of wolf howls singing into the night. Katey blinked and the burning began to ebb away.
John must have seen she was slipping and gripped her arm. “No, Katey, focus. Bring back that feeling. You almost had it. Ignore them.”
It was too late, the heat had dissipated and her mind flooded with thoughts, emotions, and instinct. The howls danced about her ears, reverberating in her head until that was all she could hear. She could almost pick out Logan’s in the bunch. It was mournful and searching. Katey had to answer him. She could never leave him, not even tonight when it mattered most and her wolf couldn’t agree more.
She threw back her head and poured her soul into the best howl she could muster. Whether it was Katey that howled or her other half that refused to come out, she didn’t know. Her howl was long and melodious, answering to Logan’s saying that she was here and to come and find her.
Darren cursed under his breath and John pulled Katey to her feet as soon as she had let her head drop from the howl.
All was silent.
Katey’s head was spinning and ears ringing, her body half numb from the downpour of pain she had endured. When she turned her green eyes to John and Darren she saw they had mixtures of frustration and anxiety written on their faces.
She looked toward the trees in the direction of the gathering and could hear the soft padding of footsteps approach. They heard her howl and were coming to answer it with their company.
“Katey, run as fast as you can, deep into the park,” John explained. “Don’t look back and get as far from here as you can. Wade through every body of water you can find, cover your tracks and hide... If you can manage to get to one of the vehicles after that, do so and go back to the lodge.”
He turned Katey around and pointed her in the opposite way from where the others were coming.
She stood there a little dumbfounded at first before Darren barked his orders, “Go! We’ll do our best to hold them off.” The fire in his eyes told her he was far from joking.
There was no time to recreate what they had been working so hard to accomplish that night and if the others stumbled upon her human form, there was no telling how they would react, especially the new loups-garous.
Not once had Katey wondered what would happen if she faced them as a human and the dangers that would come with it. It was always about changing and making sure Lo
gan had claimed her as a mate. Never this.
Katey bolted for the tree line. She didn’t look back but she could hear Darren and John shedding their clothes and changing with less screams and pain than she had heard from the others.
She jumped, vaulted, climbed, and ran as fast as her legs could carry her through the thicket, using every bit of training that she had been taught.
The grunts and growls, yips, and barks came up from behind her, hunting her down. The soft walk they started with earlier had accelerated into a run and it sounded like the whole gathering was after her. Over a hundred loups-garous had targeted her as their prey.
Katey pushed herself to run faster, letting her loup-garou speed carry her away from danger, marking her scent on one tree but then running in the other direction. The deep snow wasn’t helping at all, so she tried to jump onto as many protruding rocks and fallen logs as she could find. Katey prayed she would come upon a river or a creek that wasn’t frozen over. She had no idea which direction she was going in or how far she had run. All she knew was that she had to keep going until she couldn’t hear them anymore.
The wolf inside her, however, was pleading with her to slow down, to turn and face them. Katey refused to listen.
When she finally came to a small creek that was moving fast enough for the water to not freeze, she splashed downstream, hopped out, and began running again. The icy water felt like needles jamming into her skin, but she had to keep running.
A little while after that, Katey got the idea to toss off her jacket to help distract her hunters. It was a serious sacrifice because she truly loved the white fabrics and furs, but it was a matter of life and death. As a human, she would be no match for a dozen or more packs of loups-garous. They could always get another jacket, if she lived to see the morning.
Katey shrugged it off her shoulders as she ran and threw it in one direction while she ran in the other. Discarding the jacket proved to be a bad decision. Her body temperature dropped dramatically as she ran into the cold wind with nothing to block it out but her blouse. The water around her ankles and shins turned to ice that clung to her pant legs and numbed her skin.
Becoming the Enigma (The Loup-Garou Series Book 2) Page 31