“Well, yes.”
“So Shelton becoming a part of your life had nothing to do with how you felt about yourself.”
“His presence made it worse … at first.”
“Did it? Or did it simply force you to deal with unresolved hurts, pains, and matters of trust between you and the Lord?”
Katherine thought for a moment. She had to admit, her relationship with Shelton had helped bring her to a place of genuine healing.
“It seems to me that you’ve been unable to trust for a long time. You’ve held on to the bondage of past sins rather than go through the painful process of letting go and letting God free you. When Shelton came along, you forced yourself to face those painful memories and give them over to the Lord once and for all. Am I right?”
Katherine groaned. Did Grandma Mac have an ear horn against the door every time she poured her heart out to the Lord? “I don’t like it when you’re right.”
Grandma Mac gave a hearty laugh. “You mean when God’s right. Child, I’m an old woman. I’ve seen a lot of things in my life. Age and experience have given me a perspective that’s more straightforward than I had when I was younger. Oh, I made mistakes when I was young, and I’ve had to battle with my emotions until I completely surrendered them to the Lord. After I did, I wondered why I took so long to do it. Foolish pride, I guess. Only the good Lord knows. But our God is a God of action and change. He’s forever moving, and He wants us to move forward in our lives. You’ve broken through the bondage of the past. The question is, are you going to forgive and move forward into the relationship God has designed for you?”
Had God really designed Shelton for her? Were they meant to have a life together? A couple of weeks ago she wouldn’t have questioned it. Did it really matter that Shelton did something he was ashamed of, that he repented of? “You don’t mince words, do you?”
“I’m glad it hurts, dear. Giving up our ability to retreat and lick our wounds always hurts. We must allow God to dig deeper and help us rid ourselves of all the memories that will fester and become ugly unless the Lord lances our wounds. Think about it, pray about it. But most important, do what is right and holy in God’s eyes … not yours, mine, Hiram’s, or Shelton’s.”
She didn’t want to admit it, but Grandma Mac made sense. If she gave in to all her anger and embarrassment, she would be right back where she’d started.
Grandma Mac stood and patted her shoulder. Then she shuffled out of the room without saying another word.
Katherine went back to ironing her Christmas presents. Working with her hands seemed better than dealing with the words Grandma Mac had just spoken. But she couldn’t stop thinking about them. She replayed the conversation over and over. Then she remembered Shelton saying that one day he would tell her about his past and how unworthy he was. He had said that. He wasn’t trying to hide this from her.
“Dear Lord, can Shelton and I have the kind of relationship You designed for a man and woman? Can we ever have the completeness that will make us one? Or will our pasts always get in the way?”
“Katherine, I need to speak with you,” Shelton called from outside her bedroom door. He’d waited for three days to talk to her. Now, after the recent visit from Parson Kincaid, he had no choice. “Please, Katherine. Something has come up.”
“I’ll be right there.” He heard her scurrying about in her room.
Shelton stepped back and waited. When she peeked out the doorway, he felt thrilled to see her crown of red curls. “Do you have a minute?”
She looked into her room, then back at him. “Sure. Wait for me in the sitting room.” She closed the door.
Shelton nearly skipped toward the sitting room. At least she didn’t throw something at me. He grinned. He sat on the sofa, then jumped up and paced before the fireplace.
Katherine came in with her hair straightened.
“Katherine, I’m so sorry.”
“Shh. I’m sorry. I overreacted.”
“I don’t think so. One day soon we’ll discuss what happened in greater detail, but right now I want to speak with you about something Parson Kincaid just suggested.”
She sat on the sofa. “All right.”
“I know we talked about waiting to get married until we were ready, but Parson Kincaid thinks we might want to change those plans.”
“Why?”
“He thinks I was being less than generous to give my father only three days to make a decision about how he was going to live his life. But he had an alternative.”
Shelton sat beside her. “The parson believes that if we marry now, we may be able to help Father stop his gambling habit. It would take a long time and a lot of work. We’d have to watch over him constantly and not let him out of our sight.”
“And what does that have to do with our getting married?”
“Parson Kincaid knows we’re planning on getting married eventually anyway. His suggestion is that we do it sooner rather than later. Between the two of us, we can keep a better eye on him. And we could find strength in each other.”
“But Parson Kincaid doesn’t know about my past. He doesn’t know how difficult the adjustment will be, especially in our first year together. I think adding your parents’ issues and your father’s gambling habits into the mix would be foolhardy.”
Shelton leaned back in the sofa. “You’re right, he doesn’t know about you. But he knows about me.”
“How?”
“My father, in his anger, blurted it out in front of my mother and the parson.”
She took his hand.
“Father’s blaming me for his problems.”
“Then he’s not ready to stop gambling.”
“No, he isn’t. So he’s going to have to move out of my house. Mother insists on going with him.”
“Does she know how bad your father’s problem is?”
“Yes. That’s what perplexes me. Why does she want to stay with him?”
Katherine smiled. “Because she loves him.”
“Well, there is that.” Shelton’s shoulders slumped. “What should I do?”
“They’re not children. You can’t order them about. You have to let them make their own choices—right or wrong.”
“But he’ll gamble again.”
“No doubt. But isn’t there a church right down the street from the saloon?”
“Yes.”
“Maybe if your parents have nowhere to go and no one to fall back on, they’ll make the right choice.”
“I still don’t like it.”
“I don’t either. But maybe that’s what it’s going to take. We’re not so far from town that we can’t keep tabs on them.”
Katherine stuffed her hands in her pockets to warm them. She felt the piece of paper Mr. Hastings had given her. “Oh, I almost forgot. Mr. Hastings gave this to me the day I found your father. Apparently he’s been charging at the store.”
Shelton took the crumpled piece of paper and read. “My father charged fifty dollars’ worth of merchandize to my account.”
“Oh my. I think before they move into town, you should advise the businessmen that you are not responsible for your father’s debts.”
“You’re a wise woman, Katherine.”
“I’ve been around a lot of gamblers.”
He placed his hands on her shoulders. “Would you go to my house and tell my parents they can stay for another night? I want to go into town and talk with the business owners right away. If I go speak with my parents now, I know I’m just going to blow up at Father. I need to know how far he’s put me in debt before I speak with them. Ask them to stay for one more night. I’ll see them in the morning.”
“All right.”
Shelton took her hands into his. “Katherine, will you still marry me?”
“Is that a proposal?” she asked.
“I just want to know if you’re ready.”
“Not quite yet, but I’m getting there. With you in my life, I don’t care what other nonsense I have
to deal with. I just want you by my side.”
He smiled.
“Kiss me before I say something foolish,” she encouraged.
And he did.
Chapter 15
Katherine prayed the entire trip from Grandma Mac’s house to Shelton’s. She had no idea what she would find when she arrived, or how Hiram Greene would respond to her.
“Hello,” she called out as she entered the front door. “Is anyone home?”
Elizabeth Greene came from the front parlor, her eyes puffy and red.
“Mrs. Greene, Shelton asked me to come over and let you know that you can stay for one more night.”
“We’ll not be taking any more charity from him,” Hiram gruffed as he entered the room. “As soon as the boy tells us which wagon is ours, we’ll be on our way.”
“Shelton will be back late this evening. That’s why he suggested you leave tomorrow.”
Hiram turned to face his wife. “Let’s just take one, Elizabeth. I can’t stand to be in this house another minute.”
Before she could answer, Katherine said, “I’m sorry you feel that way, Mr. Greene. Shelton worked very hard to help you.”
“What do you know about it?” he sneered.
More than you want me to know. “Mr. and Mrs. Greene, why don’t we make some tea while we wait for Shelton?”
“Hiram, please.” Elizabeth placed a loving hand on his arm.
“Oh, all right.”
Katherine went to the kitchen, followed by the Greenes. “Have you packed away your kitchen belongings yet?”
“No,” Elizabeth said. “Since we don’t know where we’re going to stay, I thought we’d leave them here for now. I hope Shelton won’t mind.”
“I don’t think he will.”
“What gives you the right to tell us what our son is thinking?” Hiram spat.
Katherine squeezed her eyes shut and prayed for God’s grace to help her say something that would reflect God’s mercy and grace. “Mr. Greene, I took your abusive tongue when I was your servant. But I am not a servant any longer, and I will not be spoken to in that tone.”
“And who made you—”
“God did.” Katherine placed her hands on her hips. “Now, sit down before my temper really starts to rise.”
He sat.
Katherine filled a kettle with water. “You do know that Shelton and I are planning on getting married one day.”
Hiram mumbled.
Elizabeth smiled. “Yes, dear, Shelton made that clear when he came back to Hazel Green.”
Katherine put the kettle on the stove. “He and I have spoken openly with each other. He loves you both and respects you tremendously. He’s hurting terribly having to make this decision, but he can’t support your gambling habit, Mr. Greene.”
“Who’s asking him to?”
“You are,” Katherine stated.
Hiram Greene blanched.
Katherine wasn’t sure where she’d found such boldness. Perhaps living with Grandma Mac was rubbing off on her.
“We haven’t asked Shelton for any money,” Elizabeth interjected.
“True. But your husband has been charging to your son’s accounts in town.”
Elizabeth stared at him with wide eyes. “Hiram?”
He buried his face in his hands. “I was going to pay it back.”
“With what?” Katherine asked.
He sat up straight and squared his shoulders. “With the money I’d earn.”
“How? From gambling? How much have you won so far?” Katherine stared at his blank face for a moment before continuing. “That’s the problem. You can’t think straight when you’re gambling. It controls you. I’ve lived with enough gamblers to know how it works.”
“Hiram, is this true?”
He turned his face away from his wife.
Katherine felt sorry for them. “Mrs. Greene, I’m sure your husband didn’t set out to become a gambler. It may have started as a gentleman’s wager over a horse race or some such thing. He probably made some money in the beginning. Then it began to control him, forcing him to make unwise choices. Fortunately, or unfortunately, you had enough money that he could hide his gambling from the family for years. Shelton says he only learned about it six months before he came here. But I know he’s been gambling for at least seven years.”
“How do you know that?” Elizabeth asked.
“That’s how I came to work for your family. Mr. Greene won me in a poker game.”
Tears pooled in Elizabeth’s eyes. “Hiram, is this true?”
Hiram pulled at his collar.
Katherine poured the hot water into the teapot and let the tea steep. “Mr. Greene do you really want to throw away your wife, your children, and your grandchildren for a deck of cards?”
He shook his head.
“You have the perfect opportunity to make things right. You can start over. Work with Shelton and help him breed horses. A man with your business sense must know legitimate ways to make a profit.”
Hiram Greene cleared his throat. “He wouldn’t want me.”
Katherine chuckled. “He knows all about my past, and he wants me. You both raised a wonderful son who has become a man with such respect for his parents that he wouldn’t listen to me when I said you should pay for your own mistakes. Instead, he convinced me that the right thing to do was to love and honor you by helping you and by having you move into this house.”
Katherine poured tea into each cup, then added milk the way she knew the Greenes liked it. She was serving them now as a free woman, out of love for God and gratitude for what He’d done for her, not out of a debt that Hiram Greene once held over her. Katherine knew beyond a doubt she was totally free from the bondage of the past. Thank You, Lord.
“Mr. and Mrs. Greene, there’s something else you should know.” She sat across from the couple. “I love Shelton, and I know now that I can truly love him without fear from the past.” She looked Hiram straight in the eye. She could tell from the look on his face that he realized she was recalling the night when he threatened her. “I thank you for all you’ve done to raise my future husband. I will be honored to have him as my partner in life. Even your mistakes have made him strong.”
Katherine pushed the chair away from the table and stood. “Mr. Greene, this is your house, if you choose to let the Lord rebuild you.” Katherine laid a hand on Elizabeth’s shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. “I’ll see myself out.”
Shelton found he owed more than a hundred dollars in town, thanks to his father’s charging. He had money left from the sale of the property in Hazel Green, so he made arrangements to pay off each debt. But he made it clear that he would not accept any further charges on his father’s behalf.
He didn’t know whether he’d find his parents at the house or not, but he hoped he would. He’d spoken harshly with his father earlier, and he wanted to make peace with the man before he left.
He’d hoped Katherine would agree to marry him since Parson Kincaid had suggested it. But she was right; a new marriage was hard enough. They shouldn’t start with his parents and their problems weighing them down. He couldn’t be his father’s guardian any longer. Until the man’s heart changed and he repented of his sin, nothing would be different.
When he arrived back at the house, he sighed with relief that his parents were home. But the conversation he had with them took an unexpected turn.
“Shelton, I need to apologize to you,” Hiram said. “I’ve made a mess of my life and squandered my family’s fortune. Katherine opened my eyes, with a little help from your mother.” He glanced at his wife, then turned back to Shelton. “She doesn’t let a man off the hook, does she?”
Shelton chuckled. “No, she doesn’t.”
“You’ll have your hands full with that one, son. But she’s right. I do want to change.”
“Katherine told me your father’s been gambling for at least seven years,” Elizabeth said. “He confessed that it’s been nine. Does that s
ound right with what you saw in the financial books?”
“Yes,” he reluctantly admitted.
“Your father has agreed not to touch the finances. I’m going to pay all the bills and he’ll help me decide how and which ones.”
“Dad, are you aware of the debt you’ve incurred in Creelsboro?”
Hiram hung his head in shame, then lifted it again and faced Shelton. “Yes. About a hundred dollars, give or take a few.”
Elizabeth gasped. “Do we have that kind of money?”
“I do,” Shelton acknowledged. “I’ve made arrangements with the businessmen in town. I should have it all paid off in time for Christmas.”
Hiram’s shoulders slumped. Then he lifted them and looked directly into his son’s eyes. “Shelton, I know it won’t be easy, but I’m willing to work at changing.”
“It’ll only happen by God’s grace, Dad. You can’t do this in your own strength. Trust me, I’ve tried.”
Hiram nodded.
Elizabeth took her husband’s hand. “Shelton, your father and I have a lot to talk about. Will you excuse us?”
“Of course. Good night.” He stood. “I’m glad you’re going to stay.”
Shelton was restless all night. Unable to sleep, he took an early morning stroll through the woods and down to the river. Ice-covered rocks lined the river’s edge.
He turned up the collar on his coat and walked north around the peninsula that stuck out into the Cumberland. It felt good to own property. In spite of all his father had done to waste the family’s wealth, Shelton had the potential to earn it back again. The problem would be keeping that from becoming his primary purpose in life.
As he rounded the peninsula, he found an inlet with calm water and an embankment that climbed up twenty-five to thirty feet. Shelton climbed up the steep terrain. From the top, he could see his house to the left. The breathtaking view was spectacular. “This is where I’ll build, Lord. Katherine deserves a beautiful house with a wonderful view. She’ll love it here.”
With single-minded determination he set about making his plans. He would build a cabin with a loft. Upstairs would be their bedroom. From there they could see water all around them.
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