by Alex Dafney
He immediately digs into the meatloaf, seemingly ignoring me. I step over to the window, looking outside before dropping down in the chair as the TV blares through the room. Without breaking his gaze from the TV, he speaks. “Get on in there and get something for lunch. I can’t have you being here withering away.” My mouth drops open slightly. This is the first time he’s been even slightly pleasant toward me.
His head turns toward me, scowling at me. “I told you to get on outta here. You’re disrupting my lunch.” I wait until his gaze is focused back on the TV before rolling my eyes and walking toward the door. “And don’t go rollin no eyeball at me.” My cheeks heat as I place my hand on the doorknob. I was sure he wouldn’t see me. “I got four kids. I can feel an eyeball roll from ten miles away. Go eat.”
A small smile pulls at the corner of my lip as I open the door and make my way toward the kitchen. My intention is to grab my purse and step out to my car to have an apple and granola bar. As I step in the kitchen, I find Jase and Agnus sitting at the table. Jase stands hastily, pulling out the chair next to him that already has a plate made in front of it.
“Come have lunch with us.” I shake my head quickly, my mouth opening, but no words come out. I try my best to have a comfortable relationship with my patients, but this takes it a step further. I watch as he steps around the table, walking toward me and placing his large hand on my lower back, pushing me toward the table.
I sit as he pushes my chair in for me. “What would you like to drink?” I pinch my eyes shut briefly, trying to reel in my senses after the brief contact of his hand to my back. “Um, water would be great.” I try not to stare at him as he makes his way around the kitchen, but damn is it hard not to notice his muscular arms, and the way his back muscles flex as he pulls a glass from a top shelf. Grabbing a glass, he fills it with ice then pours water from a pitcher from the refrigerator.
He sits the glass next to my overtly full lunch plate as he slides in the chair next to me. After Agnus says the prayer, we all pick up our forks, digging into the incredible lunch that she’s fixed. I can’t help the moan that escapes me as I take a bite of the meatloaf, closing my eyes as I savor the perfect bite. “Are you enjoying, honey?” I pop my eyes open, my cheeks heating as I take in Agnus’ bemused smile across from me.
I wipe my mouth with a napkin and place it on my lap. “Yes, mam. Thank you for this. I’m usually inhaling a granola bar or an apple between patients. This is quite the treat.” She lets out a scoff as she shoves a bit of the creamy mashed potatoes in her mouth. “It ain’t right skipping a proper meal.” Everyone is quiet for a moment, enjoying the wonderful lunch before us all.
“You should’ve seen the way Abbi handled Pops.” I glance over to my side as Jase chuckles next to me. Agnus waves a hand toward her grandson. “I seen it in her eyes the moment I opened the door. She can handle her own. You’d be mighty lucky to find you a nice girl like her and settle down.” I keep my eyes trained on my plate, peeking over at him and noticing his scarlet tinted cheeks.
“Jason just told me this morning that he and his girlfriend broke up.” I look across the table at Agnus before turning my head to look at Jase, giving him a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry to hear that.” He shrugs his shoulder nonchalantly, keeping his eyes focused on the plate in front of him. “Don’t be. It happened months ago and should’ve happened two years ago.”
“Jason Andrew Jackson! Y’all broke up months ago and you’re just telling me today? I outta find a switch and wear your behind.” I unsuccessfully try to hide my smirk as Agnus focuses back on her lunch. Jase bumping my shoulder with his own causes me to look up at him. He grins widely, giving an exaggerated eye roll to which I have to choke down a laugh, getting a strange look from Agnus.
After we finish lunch, I make my way back to Mr. Russell’s room to gather his lunch tray. I walk in the room to find him sleeping soundly. Gently I raise the tray over him, tiptoeing toward the doorway. I nearly collide with Jase for the second time today as I turn into the hallway. Instead the tray tips my way, gravy from the mashed potatoes sloshing onto my black scrub top. Jase reaches for the tray, taking it from my hands. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry.”
I glance down at the gravy on my left breast, giving a slight shrug. “It’s better than what normally lands on my scrubs in a day.” He gives me that heart stopping grin that showcases his dimple as he grips my wrist, turning me toward the end of the hallway. He places his hand on my lower back, guiding me before stopping at the last door on the left.
When he reaches around me for the doorknob, I catch a whiff of his intoxicating scent. He pushes the door open to a bathroom. “I’ll leave you to clean up.” He pulls the door closed behind him and I suck in a breath, leaning back against the door with my eyes closed. The grandson from California would have to be incredibly sexy.
I make quick work dabbing a damp cloth at the fabric of my scrub top before walking out of the room toward the kitchen. I grab my purse from the table, hoisting it on my shoulder. As Agnus glances over to me from the stove where she tidies up, I give her a bright smile. “Thank you so much for lunch. I’ve got to get going though. You have my number if you need me.”
She gives me a bright smile before turning back to her task at hand. “I’ll walk you out.” Jase wipes his hands on a dish towel at the sink before joining my side. He holds the front door open as I step out onto the porch, turning to face him. “I can manage from here. Thank you.” He gives me a polite smile, placing his hand on my back and gently ushering me down the steps toward my car.
He pulls the car door open for me, his hand resting on the metal frame as I stare up at him. It’s not like a man has never opened my car door, but this is a new feeling. I pull my purse from my shoulder, tossing it to the passenger seat as I slide into the driver’s. Jase ducks his head down, giving me a small grin. “Thank you for coming out today.”
I give a slight nod. “No need to thank me. I’ll be here everyday for at least the next twelve weeks. And your grandmother has my number in case you need me.” He tilts his head to the side slightly, narrowing his eyebrows together. “Are you on call this week?” A small chuckle escapes me as I shake my head. “Not technically. I always make sure my patients have my personal number if they ever need it.”
“Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” I give him a bright smile as he pushes my door closed. As I pull out of the driveway, I glance in my rear-view mirror, noticing him standing on the porch and watching as I drive away. Just as I pull onto the two-lane road my cell phone rings. I snatch it from the passenger seat, not bother to look at who may be calling. “Hello?”
“Hey, Abs. I was wondering what night I should pencil you in for dinner. You know I have a rather full social calendar.” I scoff as Blake chuckles. “You’re full of yourself is what you are.” He makes a pshh noise as I snicker. “So? What night?” I think about my jam-packed week, knowing I’ll probably be in late every night. “This week’s not looking so good. Maybe we can grab a beer this weekend?”
“Sounds good. We’ll figure it out when I meet Rem at your place later.” My mouth falls open as by brows draw together. “Why are you meeting him at my house?” He’s quiet for a few seconds. “Blake?”
“Uh, yeah. I’m here. Rem called me and told me to meet him at your house to have a few beers before his set over in Springville.” I let out a deep sigh. Why the hell is he still at my house? And why the hell does he think he can make himself at home? “So, he’s still at my house? He didn’t leave after this morning?”
“Um, I figured y’all had worked something out.” I let out an angry scoff. “No! I woke up this morning and he was passed out on my couch! I didn’t even know he was there until I was leaving for work this morning.” He let’s out a chuckle. “Guess he didn’t want to go home to Mommy and Daddy last night. You know as well as I do, he’s hiding at your place so he can drink beer and watch sports all day without being lectured.”
I roll my eyes as I pull i
nto the driveway of my next patient. “Well, then he should buy his own damn house.” I glance out the window, seeing Mr. James standing inside the glass door, waving at me with a bright smile on his face. I give him a smile and wave back before turning my car off. “I just got to my next stop. I’ll talk to you soon.” I hang up the phone without waiting for his reply as I swing the door open.
I take a deep breath and roll my shoulders back before starting toward the house. As always, my sole focus needs to be on my patient while I’m here, not Remington or our relationship. Or lack thereof.
Surprisingly, my appointment with Mrs. James went rather quickly today and I find myself back in my car driving toward home. As I pull into my driveway I stare across the street at Remington’s black truck. I sit back in the seat, closing my eyes and letting my head fall back against the head rest. Mentally preparing myself to walk in my own damn house and tell him I’m done with this rollercoaster that is our relationship.
After a few minutes of preparing myself, I step out of the car and walk up the sidewalk. Reaching the door, I can hear the TV playing loudly inside. One more deep breath and I push the door open. He lies on my couch shirtless, the remote resting on his chest and a beer in his hand. The coffee table is littered with candy wrappers, half a bowl of popcorn, and an open, empty pizza box.
“Hey, babe.” I roll my eyes as I walk into the kitchen, placing my purse on the counter and grabbing the garbage can from below the counter. I step in front of the coffee table, picking up the wrappers and tossing them inside. “Could you do that later? I’m trying to watch the game.” I jerk up right, staring down at him with a scowl as he cranes his neck to look around me. Stepping around the coffee table I jerk the remote from his bare chest, turning the TV off. “Hey!”
He sits up, staring at me with an angry scowl. “Why are you here?” I toss the remote to the coffee table then fold my arms over my chest. He tilts the beer in his hand up to his lips, finishing it off and tossing it into the trash can that sits beside me. “Are you still having a temper tantrum?” He rolls his eyes as he pushes off the couch, making his way toward my kitchen. I follow behind him, seething.
“I’m not having a temper tantrum, Rem. I told you Sunday that I don’t want to do this anymore.” He opens the refrigerator pulling out a fresh beer. He twists the lid off then props against the counter facing me. “Is it that time of the month? You’re never this irritating.” My mouth drops open before I can stop it. He runs his hand through his hair, letting out a deep breath.
“I don’t want to argue with you, Abbi. We’ve had this arrangement for years. It works for us.” I pull my mouth back closed, my lips forming a tight line as I let out a long breath through my nose. “This isn’t working for me.” I gesture my hand between the two of us before folding my arms over my chest. “This has never worked for me. I’ve waited around for years thinking that you would decide you wanted to be with me, and only me.”
Tears begin to form in my eyes, and I blink rapidly, not wanting to cry in front of him. “I’m done riding the rollercoaster.” He stares across the kitchen at me, his brows drawn together. “You’re done?” I nod my head once, swallowing over the lump in my throat. He lets out a scoff before bringing his beer to his lips and taking a generous pull. “I can’t believe you’re breaking up with me.”
I throw my hands out to my sides. “We’re not together! This isn’t a relationship. You coming in my house and crawling into my bed smelling like another woman’s perfume late at night is not what I want. I’ve waited, Remington. I’ve waited for you to commit to me, but I’m done waiting.” I can’t stop the tears that trail down my cheeks and my pounding, breaking heart.
He places his beer on the counter and walks by me toward the living room. I turn in place, watching as he slips his boots on that sit by the coffee table and pulling his worn T-shirt from the back of the couch. “I’ll just get Blake to call you. He’s the Abbi whisperer. He can figure this shit out.” I shake my head as a humorless laugh erupts from me. He can’t stay and talk to me, or commit to me, but he’ll call his best friend to fix our problems? “Don’t bother.”
I take a step back as he walks toward the front door. He pauses with his hand on the doorknob, dropping his head. My heart pounds in my chest as my throat constricts, waiting for what he may say. He glances at me over his shoulder, his brows narrowed. “I’m so close to breaking through with my music. I hope you’ve thought this through.” With that he opens the door and steps out, closing the door loudly behind him.
The pain in my chest is damn near unbearable as tears flow freely from my eyes. I walk into the living room, watching through the window as he squeals the tires of his truck, speeding down the road. I collapse on the couch, curling onto my side and hugging my arms around myself as I cry. The sensible side of my brain knows I made the right decision, but my heart breaks over the wasted years.
Chapter 4
My eyes bolt open to a knock on the door. I glance around my living room, seeming to have fell asleep on the couch at some point. Standing I run my fingers through my hair, although I’m not sure why. I know it’s a lost cause for me to try to look presentable when I’ve spent the afternoon crying like a damn fool.
I unlock the door, pulling it open just an inch to peek outside. Blake stands on the porch holding up a bottle of wine with a small smile. I let out a sigh, pushing the door open wider. “If you’re here to be the Abigail whisperer, I’m not interested.” I try to force sass into my voice but fail miserably. Instead, sounding exactly like what I am. A heart broken girl who has spent the day crying over her first love.
He gives me a sympathetic smile as he hands me the bottle of wine and holds up a bag of Chinese takeout. “Actually, I’m here for the opposite.” He swings his arm around my shoulder, leading me toward the kitchen. He drops the takeout on the counter, removing his arm from my shoulders and walking over to the cabinet that holds my glasses.
Pulling down two wine glasses he places them on the counter and takes the bottle of wine I clutch to my chest, opening it and pouring us both a glass of red wine. “Rem called me when he left here. He wanted me to work my magic on you.” I let out a scoff as he slides the wine glass toward me, lifting it to my lips and taking a generous gulp. “I told you I’m not interested.”
He gives me a shrug. “And I told you, I’m here for the opposite.” I raise a questioning eyebrow at him as he chuckles. “I told him I was proud of you for finally coming to your senses and telling him to screw himself.” My mouth drops open as he laughs lightly. “He hung up and hasn’t responded to my texts.” I tilt my head to the side, giving him a worried expression. “I’m sorry, Blake. I don’t want our shit to affect you and your best friend.”
He waves a hand toward me in nonchalance, lifting the wine glass to his mouth. “He’s not my best friend, Abbi. You are.” My eyes widen in shock as I place a hand to my chest. “I am not! Remington has been your bestie since kindergarten.” He scoffs loudly, turning to pull the takeout containers from the bag on the counter. “He was at one time. Once he started asking me to take you to all of your family events and we started hanging out more I realized I like you better than him.” He gives me a wink as he slides a container in front of me.
“Besides, why would I be here if that really was the case? I wanted to check on you, not him.” Tears once again sting my eyes. I’ve always looked at Blake as one of the best friends I’ve ever had, but he’s never said the same about me, and I didn’t think he thought of me that way. I blink rapidly, trying to dispel the tears, but it’s no use.
He glances up at me as he opens all the cartons on the counter, his brow draws together, concern taking over his features. He grips my hand, pulling me toward him as I furiously swipe the tears from under my eyes with the other hand. He wraps his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest. “I’m sorry, Abbi. I know it sucks right now, but we both know you made the right choice.”
I sniffle against his chest, giv
ing a little nod. “I know I did, but damn if it doesn’t hurt. I feel like I’ve wasted the last five years of my life waiting around for Rem to grow the hell up.” He lets out a chuckle, squeezing me tight to his chest. “You were fighting a losing battle. He’ll never grow up.” We stand holding each other for a minute before Blake pulls back, looking down at me with a smirk.
“By the way, you shouldn’t be answering the door looking this damn terrible.” He lets out a laugh as he ruffles my hair, me swatting at his chest as a small smile tugs at my lip. “Give me a break. I fell asleep on the couch after crying for two hours.” His laughter fades as he gives me a sympathetic grin. “Let’s eat and watch some TV.”
The next morning, I wake to a pounding headache. The kind of headache you only get from crying yourself to sleep. With a sigh I swing my legs over the bed and silence the four A.M. alarm on my phone. I walk toward the bathroom to get ready for work, wishing like hell I could call in, but it’s too late for that. I should’ve thought about that yesterday after my confrontation with Remington.
Blake had stayed over until I was dozing off on the couch. He did his best to distract me and kept me laughing while we ate takeout and drank wine in front of the TV in my living room. When he walked to the door to leave, he turned to me, a small smile on his face. “I’m really proud of you, Abbi. Quit being a damn doormat to Remington.” With that he stepped out of the door, pulling it closed behind him.
I locked up the house and turned off the lights before going through my nightly routine and getting into bed. As I laid awake, staring at the ceiling fan as it spun around, the tears once again started. In the dark, stillness of my room I couldn’t quite decide if I was crying over the end of mine and Rem’s relationship, or the thought that I had wasted so many years toward the future that I wanted with the wrong man.