by Ella Edon
Henry shook his head and walked away. He heard the sound of glass shattering as he walked out but did not turn back. He wanted to go to bed, to rest, and to forget everything that had happened that evening. He really wished that he had taken the scotch with him.
As he made his way up the stairs, he was surprised when he saw Lady Blackmoor by the door of his bedchamber. She turned, just as he was approaching, and he narrowed his eyes. He realized then, that he wanted to understand what was really going on with her and why she had requested to know about his mother's death in such a manner. He knew that it had been wrong to keep it from her, but they had promised each other trust and she refused to share the reason for her sudden change.
"Lady Blackmoor," he called from where he stood.
She turned. She tightened her robe and raised her chin as she faced him.
Henry nodded towards his room.
"I need to have a word with you."
"Are you ready to tell me what I have requested of you?"
He strode towards her and jerked his head towards his bedchamber. Emma turned immediately and walked away. Henry took three quick strides towards her, gripped her forearm and whirled her around. Emma gasped, but before she could protest, he pulled her into his bedchamber and shut the door. She stood before him, her eyes narrowed.
"What is this, Henry?!"
He shrugged. "Perhaps you tell me? What the bloody hell has come over you?
"Me?" she scoffed. " You said that I could trust you, and yet you have refused to tell me what truly happened to your mother. You have refused to open up completely to me, Henry. Why?"
Henry was taken aback. The way she responded to him, the way she demanded that he told her about his mother, it seemed that someone had told her something. "Emma?"
She shook her head, moved her hands in the air and began to speak. "The duchess is the only honest person that I have come across. Even you lie to me. We promised each other total honesty, Henry."
"I have been, Emma. I meant it. I meant everything that I’ve said. But you have refused to trust me. You question me as though I have kept a great secret from you. My mother died from illness. I did inform you of this before."
Emma shook her head. "Is there anything about her death that I need to be informed of?"
Henry swallowed hard. The Duchess must have spoken to her. The duchess knew what had happened to his mother.. He was beginning to think that the duchess herself was up to something. He however, thought it best to tell her the truth.
He pulled his hand through his hair. "Mother died from poison. It killed her slowly. We do not know how she had consumed it, but we did have our suspicions. I did. Father never truly acknowledged it."
The colour on Emma's face drained. Her shoulders slumped. "That must have been so terrible for you, watching her...die."
He shook his head. "The worst thing was knowing what happened and not being able to do a thing about it. I think it was the Duke of Loringham who did it, but father has refused to acknowledge it. Perhaps because it would be too much for him, knowing fully well that Allen had beaten him, had taken away something dear to him."
He did not look at Emma, but he heard the sympathy in her voice as she spoke. "How do you know that it was the Duke.?"
Henry nearly laughed at that. "She had returned from his residence when she became ill."
"Mama?" he called. Henry ran towards the countess as she walked towards the stairs. He did not want her to go out. She had promised to spend the evening with him. She had said that she was going to spend the day with him, but when his papa asked that she did something for him, his mother was quick to go ahead. Henry often felt that his father was making an effort to keep his mama away from him.
He walked over to her and took her hands in his. He had a bad feeling about her going out.
"Don't go, Mama!" he said. "You had promised that we would spend the day together, mama. What now?"
His mama took her hands to his face. "My lovely boy," she began. "I have been invited to Loringham. My old friend, the duchess, has asked that I come for tea. I would be back very soon."
She let go of his face and placed her hands in his. Henry had a feeling in his gut, and he really did try to warn her, but his papa soon appeared at the bottom of the stairs and glowered at him.
"You are wasting her time. Your mama needs to attend to business. Come on, Olivia."
Henry walked towards the window. "I begged her not to go, but I feared my father's wrath as we neared the bottom of the stairs. I stopped midway. She told me goodbye and then, she went to Loringham to see the dowager duchess."
Emma gasped behind him. "His mother?"
Henry nodded. "But Allen was in charge by then. His father had been gone for years. His older brother, who was supposed to be duke was long dead and it had fallen to him."
Henry turned, so he was facing Emma. She was in the dark, away from the light, but he could still see her. He walked over to her.
"The day you came home faint, I remembered my mother." His eyes searched her.
Emma nodded. "You remembered how it all happened. You remembered how your mother had come home. You remembered that she was endangered."
Henry nodded, but he sensed a change in Emma's mien. She shook her head at him. "Why did you not share this with me?"
Henry shook his head. "I was...waiting for the right time."
Emma shrugged. "But there were moments that you could have told me. You never did and perhaps if not for the duchess—"
Henry shook his head. "I would have told you."
Emma scoffed. "How can we build a future without trust? How?"
Henry did not understand why she was suddenly getting angry again. He tried to make her understand. "I was terrified to see you like that. I was lost. It was as though everything, my past, was coming back to me. I was uncertain how to tell you what had happened. You were already terrified with all that was going on. I didn't want to add this to it as well."
Emma took a step back, and then, another. "I could have handled it, Henry. We could have talked about it. What matters is that you share yourself with me and trust me with everything that bothers you. Let me worry about how terrified I would be. It is quite disheartening, that the duchess was the reason you eventually told me. This makes me wonder, Henry, if there are more things I need to know."
Henry pulled his hands through his hair. "My father has threatened you so much, you are willing to do as he says. Why? Is it just for your father?"
Emma looked down. "No. It would affect me as well. But my father more. He loved my mother dearly and it would break his heart to know that she was having an affair and that I might not be his."
Henry was shocked. His wife could be some unknown man’s daughter and she didn’t tell him.
"You never told me what blackmail my father held against you, yet you speak of trust."
Her saw the hurt in her face. "Henry —"
"Enough. Leave. This discussion is over."
Emma shook her head and turned away from him. He watched her as she headed for the door. He said nothing, nor did he make an effort to stop her. He watched her go.
When the door closed behind her, he closed his eyes and walked over to the window. Like all those years ago, he was once again, losing someone important to him.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Emma sat on her bed. She was confused and hurt all at once. He did not trust her enough to share something so important with her. After everything he had said to her, how could he keep a secret so grave from her. And then he had gone on to remind her of the blackmail that threatened her so dearly. She knew however that she had not shared it with him and it was wrong of her not to. She closed her eyes. They had both been wrong. Perhaps they should be apart. She was hurt by it all. And to think that they had truly began to understand each other and were finally of the same mind. But of course they were not. He was yet to fully open his heart to her, and until he did, she wanted to be on her own, to fight for he
rself and protect herself.
Emma raised the duvet, slipped into it. She sighed. She had known, when she married Henry, that she was all alone. She had, hadn't she? So why did it suddenly feel like she was truly alone only now?
"Because you had become too comfortable with him, because you had begun to see hope in him, until this," she whispered to herself. Until this. She sighed and closed her eyes. With a heavy heart, Emma fell asleep.
For the next few days, she barely saw Lord Blackmoor, or the Earl. The Earl often left at early hours and returned late. She made sure to avoid him at all cost. But with her own husband, it seemed that it was he who had chosen to avoid her. Most times, he would lock himself in the study, working endlessly, or he would leave so early in the morning and return when dinner was over. She ate alone most times, spoke to Sally and listened to Cecil's jokes. They all tried to make her smile, but inside, there was a void. She feared visiting Lady Allen, after what she had found out..
Until one afternoon, when she received a letter from the Duchess. It was given to her by Sally, who emphasized the confidentiality of the letter. It made Emma worry about Lady Allen, and the risk she had taken to have the letter sent out to her.
Dear, Emma,
I apologize for not writing to you sooner. My husband is once again, off on one of his many trips. I thought it best to ask if you would like to join me fort late afternoon showing at the theatre tomorrow.. Do let me know, so that I may prepare as well.
Kind Regards,
Rachael.
The Lady wanted the letter a secret, which was why she had used first names. Emma smiled. Perhaps, she was not all alone after all. She began to write her reply almost immediately and gave it to Sally to send it to the duchess.
The next afternoon, Emma dressed in a simple muslin dress and wore a black cloak over it. She headed for the theatre in a carriage, alone. Emma arrived at the theatre, alighted the carriage and pulled her cloak over her head. She walked towards the second entrance, as Lady Allen had advised. It was not so difficult for her to spot the Duchess. The Duchess wore a blue cloak and did not pull it down even as she came toward Emma. To Emma's astonishment, the Duchess pulled her in for a hug. Emma laughed and hugged her in return.
"I have not seen you in such a long time, Emma."
Emma smiled. "It is so good to see you again, Rachael."
"I have a lot to tell you." Lady Allen held Emma's hands and moved in excitement as she spoke. "I have never told anyone this, but I have thought about writing for a very long time. I finally began a year ago, and although I was quite slow, I have managed to have it completed."
Emma saw the joy in Lady Allen's eyed as she spoke of this. Even though Lady Allen had never mentioned it to her in the past, Emma felt her joy and her excitement, and it made her happy. She engulfed Lady Allen in another hug, and they both stood outside, giggling like children.
They walked into the theatre after, laughing and holding hands. For a moment, the void that Emma had in her heart did not exist anymore. Lady Allen made it all better. As they sat in the theatre and watched the play, Emma hoped and wished that one day, she would be happy, that something would give her so much joy.
As though Lady Allen felt her sadness, she raised Emma's hand and squeezed it a few times. Emma focused on the play after that.
The play was well acted. From where Emma was seated, she felt every emotion being relayed. Emma rose with Lady Allen and many others, , while the actors took their final bow.
"Such an extraordinary performance."
Emma smiled. "It is splendid indeed. I think I shall visit the theatre more often."
They began to walk outside with the crowd. Lady Allen said, "You should coming here with your husband. I guarantee that as newlyweds, a fine play will raise your spirits."
Emma said nothing in response. She only feigned a smile. She could not possibly ask Henry to attend a play with her. Not when they barely even spoke.
Lady Allen stopped her, just as they stepped out. "What is wrong?"
Emma sighed.
Lady Allen had shown that she could be trusted, that she was the only one Emma could really trust, so, Emma decided to tell her. But she decided to tell her the matter, not the story behind it.
"He would not trust me enough to let me in. He may be going through a hard time and he refuses to share with me the problem."
Lady Allen smiled. "Men are often like that, unwilling to tell or share their problems. Perhaps you should give him time but remind him that you are there for him. I learnt that with his Grace. For years, I wanted to understand him. But soon I realized that there was limit to what he wanted to share "
Emma smiled at her. "How many years now have you been wed to the duke?"
Lady Allen shrugged. "When I was fifteen, I was told that I had been betrothed to him. At sixteen, my father thought it best that I visited his family and stayed a while, to get to know him. He is much older and had been married when he was eighteen. His wife passed. No one ever speaks of her, or what happened to her. There is a painting of her in the music room. She was such a lovely looking woman."
Emma wanted to ask if Lady Allen had ever conceived, but she thought it rude to do so, so she kept quiet.
Lady Allen went on. "I wedded the Duke when I was nineteen. After my second season."
Emma sensed that Lady Allen wanted to stop talking about it. For some reason, she was hurt about something, but she did not want to speak of it.
Emma quickly changed the subject. "When do you intend to publish your finished story?"
Lady Allen smiled. "I have no idea, when in particular, but I just — in truth, I am quite scared to tell anyone about it, or share the story."
Emma took her hands in hers and said to her, "The story would be amazing. Knowing you well, I know how amazing you are and how amazing you would write. Believe in yourself, Rachael. Do not let anything hold you back from achieving your dreams."
Lady Allen looked up. It was dark already. She gasped. "Oh, heavens! Night has befallen us. We must head home."
Emma looked up and nodded. "Truly, we must."
"Thank you, for such a lovely evening. I hope that you can join me for tea again soon."
Her request reminded Emma of her issue with Henry. Emma closed her eyes and said to her, “I am not sure I could, Lord Blackmoor informed me of how his mother died."
Lady Allen set her lips in a thin line and looked away. "This life we have been married into is very, very dangerous. Always watch your back, Emma."
As Emma watched Lady Allen walk away, the sky rumbled, and Emma feared for the storm that she felt was coming.
Chapter Twenty-Five
When Henry returned home, he asked for her. Sally said something in passing, and then, walked on. He did not understand it, and he did not let it pass. He called her back and asked again.
"Where is Lady Blackmoor?"
Sally smiled at him. He knew then that something was wrong. He knew that Lady Blackmoor was not home and Sally was trying to protect her. He shook his head and said to her, "Get me Cecil."
He knew how loyal Sally was to Emma, and he knew that she would rather lose her job than betray her lady. He admired her resistance and her need to protect Emma. He wished that he had been like that. That he looked out for her so fiercely. He wished that he had trusted her. He just wished that she was not angry at him. He missed her. He wanted to talk to her, to tell her about his day, to tell her all his fears. He wanted her in so many ways that he could not begin to fully understand it himself.
Cecil approached him soon enough. "You sent for me, My Lord."
Henry nodded. "Where is Lady Blackmoor?"
Cecil opened his mouth and shut it almost immediately. Henry raised a brow. Cecil closed his eyes and sighed. "She went to see Lady Allen."
Henry could not tell if it was fear or shock that hit him, but he was certain that he was hit.. Why would she go there? Even after everything that he had told her. Had Lady Allen summoned her? Or
had she been too bored of staying in the house, talking to no one.
"When did she leave?"
Cecil looked at the wall behind him before replying. "This afternoon, My Lord."
"To Loringham?"
Cecil shook his head. "No, my lord. I am certain that it was note, because as she left, I heard her make mention of the theatre and Lady Allen. She had spoken in whispers to Sally, but you know how even the walls have ears, My Lord."
Henry narrowed his eyes and hummed. He did not want Cecil to know how frightened he was. He said to him then, "That is fine. She shall return home soon. I shall have dinner with the Lady when she returns. Inform Mr. Anders of this."