“You don’t need to give me a pep talk, Ken. I’m totally okay with the idea of going solo.”
“Don’t be. There’s somebody out there for you. I know it for a fact. You just have to find her.”
“You know it for a fact?”
“Just a turn of phrase. But I have good feeling about this.”
“If you say so. Right now, I’m just gonna detox for a while. Can we order? I’m suddenly incredibly hungry.”
*
Melissa’s website had put up some new photographs of her in a recording studio. There was also a review of the Seattle benefit concert. It didn’t mention the moment at the end of the show where she locked eyes with the man she was destined to love forever, but maybe the reviewer didn’t have a good enough seat.
I hadn’t gone to the chat room since my latest dinner with Kate. I went there now, though, feeling the need to connect with someone about her. PIANOMAN555 was online, as always.
HEY MELISSALOVER. LONG TIME.
THINGS CAME UP. ANY NEWS?
FOUR TRACKS DOWN ON THE NEW ALBUM. THERE’S TALK THAT SHE MIGHT USE A GUEST VOCALIST ON AT LEAST ONE OF THE PIECES.
CAN’T WAIT TO GET IT.
I wondered what Melissa’s own singing voice was like. I’d never heard her sing.
YOU LIVE IN D.C., DON’T YOU?
RIGHT OUTSIDE THE CITY. WHY?
ANY CHANCE YOU WERE ABLE TO GET TICKETS TO THE KENNEDY CENTER SHOW?
I felt the hackles rise on the back of my neck.
KENNEDY CENTER SHOW?
ANOTHER MAJOR BENEFIT PERFORMANCE. TICKETS ARE RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE AND MOST OF THEM WERE SOLD IN BLOCKS. REST WERE SOLD BY LOTTERY ON LOCAL CLASSICAL STATION. THOUGHT MAYBE YOU WERE LUCKY…OR CONNECTED.
NEITHER I’M AFRAID. WHEN IS IT?
NEXT MONDAY.
GOTTA BE THERE. THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW.
GOOD LUCK. YR GONNA NEED IT.
*
I phoned Kate. I considered it a good sign that she even took the call.
“Hey Ken, what’s new?” she said, the sarcasm dripping from her voice.
“Kate, I know I sounded like I was ready for the loony bin the other night and I really want to apologize about that.”
She hesitated on the line before she said softly, “That’s okay.”
“The thing is, I’m probably going to sound even crazier saying what I’m about to say. But if our friendship means anything to you – and I have no reason to believe it does given what I’ve put you through – you’ll at least hear me out and understand that this is incredibly important to me.”
“Tell me,” Kate said, her voice heavy.
“Melissa is playing a benefit concert at the Kennedy Center on Monday. I need you to get us backstage.”
“This is becoming physically painful, do you know that?”
“Please just do this for me. I need to get backstage. I need to meet her. I need her to see me and talk to me and for things to click into place.”
“Click into place?”
“It’s too hard to explain.”
“As opposed to the rest of this, which has been really easy, right?”
“I need this, Kate. I promise you I won’t do anything illegal or anything that will embarrass you. This will be the absolute last time I ask you for this. If this fails, I will never mention Melissa’s name in front of you again.”
Kate let out a long expulsion of air, as though she wanted to make the point of how deflating this conversation felt to her. “I haven’t talked to her in more than ten years. What am I supposed to say? How do I explain why I’m getting in touch with her now?”
“Explain that you’re an old friend who misses her high school pal. That’s going to mean something to her. You know it will.”
Kate hesitated again. “I do miss her. I’ve been thinking about her a lot since you dropped back into my life.”
“So do something about it. Do it for yourself as much as for me.”
“That was openly manipulative. I assume you’re aware of that.”
I chuckled. “Yes, I am.”
“This thing is on Monday?”
“8:00 at the Kennedy Center.”
“Thanks for all the lead time.”
“Believe me, you’ve known about this nearly as long as I have.”
There was a long silence on the other end. I began to think about what I would do if Kate said no. “I’m not making any promises, Ken. There’s every chance this isn’t going to work out. But I’ll give it a try.”
Chapter 21
Utterly Mystified
The next two days went by painfully slowly. The phone in my office rang constantly, but it was always someone other than Kate. I tried to keep a positive outlook, to distract myself with work and assume that things would turn out the way I hoped. But still Kate didn’t call.
The message light on my answering machine was blinking when I returned home from a client dinner, and I approached it expectantly.
“I’m sorry,” were the first words Kate left, and I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. “I have tried several times to reach Melissa. I can’t get anyone with any clout in her organization to talk to me. I’m afraid I’ve struck out, Ken. I’m really sorry. I know this was important to you and even though I think the whole thing is weird I feel bad that I couldn’t help.”
I thudded down into the recliner and stared off into space. The lights were off in the apartment and I made no effort to put them on. Wizard jumped into my lap and allowed me to pet him. That even the cat was offering me sympathy made me feel pathetic.
I had to get into the concert. I’d figure out how to get backstage after that. By this point, I knew that it was impossibly sold out and that even the ticket brokers had waiting lists. So few tickets had been made available to the general public for this benefit that even scalpers probably had a hard time getting their hands on them and they would be swarmed the night of the show.
I went to my computer and logged onto the chat room. For once, PIANOMAN555 wasn’t around, but I knew a few others who were there. I asked if anyone had access to any tickets. No one in the room could provide any help other than to mention the brokers I already knew had nothing.
I watched the computer for nearly a half hour without participating as the conversation swirled from pianist to pianist. Finally, someone I’d never seen before with the screen name AVANT broke in.
DID I HEAR SOMEONE WAS LOOKING FOR MELISSA ARGENT TIX?
I leaned forward in my seat and typed as quickly as my fingers would allow.
YES, DESPERATELY. DO YOU KNOW WHERE I CAN GET ONE?
U ARE IN LUCK, MELISSALUV. SISTER-IN-LAW SUDDENLY DECIDED TO FLY IN NIGHT OF CONCERT...WOULD RATHER HAVE MULTIPLE ROOT CANAL THAN SPEND EVENING WITH BELOVED RELATIVE. FOR SAKE OF PEACE WILL SELL MY TWO TICKETS. CAN’T BELIEVE I HAVE TO MISS THIS.
I was stunned at my good fortune. Not only did my Internet benefactor have two tickets that he was willing to sell at cost, but he lived just outside of town. I arranged to meet him in an hour in a bar off Wisconsin Avenue.
I wasn’t surprised that the skies poured as I got into my car, nor did I care. Raindrops weren’t going to deter me tonight. However, a three-car pileup on the Key Bridge delayed me, as did the lack of parking anywhere near the bar. Now twenty minutes late, I finally found a spot in a lot behind a restaurant. CUSTOMER PARKING ONLY, warned a red-and-white sign, but who would go out to check parking spaces on a night like this? Besides, I assumed I wouldn’t be there long.
AVANT was not in the bar when I arrived. I waited an hour, hoping he hadn’t chosen to go home when I failed to show up right away, and I drank three beers in the process. Then a young bartender with a ponytail leaned over and shouted over the din of music and chatter.
“Are you Ken?”
“Yes, I
am.”
“Somebody left a message for you. He said his wife freaked out when she heard he was going to sell you the tickets. Something about loving Melissa more than her sister, whatever that means. He said to tell you he’s really sorry.”
It was as though he’d just told me a loved one died. “Thanks,” I said.
The bartender shrugged indifferently and moved to help other customers. I stared at the remains of my beer for several minutes and then stood slowly to walk outside.
I looked up at the sky and let the driving rain sting my face with needle jabs. I welcomed the discomfort, anything to draw my attention away from the fact that I had run out of options. I would go to the Kennedy Center early on Monday in hopes of turning my bank account over to a scalper, but the odds of success were even higher against me than the absurdly high odds I’d been fighting since I lost Melissa.
I got back to the parking lot just in time to see a tow truck drag my car away. I simply stared after it, and when it was gone, I leaned my head against a wall, getting soaked.
There was no Metro station where I was, and I hadn’t even brought a raincoat. I thought about sliding down the wall and just sitting there until morning, but even a deluge wouldn’t have washed away my heartache. I wiped the water from my eyes, found some cover, and pulled out my cellphone. It was after midnight, but I called the only person in this world I knew I could call.
Twenty minutes later, a Lexus pulled up in front of the bookstore doorway where I sought shelter. The passenger window descended with an electric whine.
“You look horrible,” Kate said with little emotion in her voice.
I couldn’t think of a thing to say.
She leaned across and opened the door.
“Get in.”
Her short hair was neat in the front and disheveled in the back, as if a comb had been hastily run through it. I noticed that the shoelace on one of her sneakers was untied.
“Kate…thanks. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come.”
“It’s late, Ken, and I have to get up early tomorrow. We still have to retrieve your car. I hope you know where the towing yard is.”
I climbed into the passenger seat, and sat uneasily, aware of what my wet clothes were doing to her leather upholstery. She reached into the back seat and pulled out a tan blanket. She draped it over me and I pulled it closer. I looked over at her and she barely met my eyes, shaking her head sadly.
“I know this is a huge inconvenience for you,” I said. “I just want you to know that I really appreciate it.”
Kate shook her head again. “This has got to stop, Ken.”
“I realize this was an abuse of our friendship.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it. I’m talking about your whole obsession with Melissa. What the hell were you doing running around in the middle of the night trying to buy concert tickets from a stranger? Have you read nothing about the kind of crap that goes on through the Internet? You’re lucky the guy only stood you up.”
“I really needed the tickets.”
“Do you hear yourself? Is there any part of your brain that understands how irrational your behavior is? I have left a dozen messages with Melissa’s staff, and no one has gotten back to me. This is the end of the line. I know you want to meet her. I know you think there’s something written in the stars about the two of you. But it’s not going to happen.”
“It can still happen. I’ll find a scalper.”
Kate grabbed my shoulder roughly. I turned to look at her and saw that she was seething. “Get over it, Ken. For God’s sake! Get yourself some professional help for this ridiculous obsession. I’ll do you the favor of giving you some names.”
“The only favor I need is for you to keep trying to reach Melissa. Call another dozen times if you have to.”
Kate seemed utterly mystified. She stared at me with an expression that spoke of frustration and even a little bit of hurt. “You have to tell me what is making you do this. I know there are fans who obsess about musicians, but I just can’t convince myself that you’re that kind of guy. There’s something else making you do this. ”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“You’re probably right. But I do understand this: you’re hurting yourself. Badly, by all appearances. You look like you’ve been on a week-long bender.”
She reached out for my hand and squeezed it. When I looked at her now, I could see she was genuinely concerned. I had no intention of upsetting her, but there didn’t seem to be any way for me to avoid it.
“Thanks,” I said. “You’re being a lot nicer about this than I deserve.”
“You bet your ass I am,” she said with a half-smile. She looked out the windshield and I followed her eyes, tracking headlights and taillights as they passed us.
Again Kate turned to me. “I’m not going to pretend to know what is going on with you, but just because you wish for something doesn’t mean it has a chance of coming true. It’s time to put aside your fantasies, Ken. I’m sure Melissa Argent is perfectly happy with the life she has and gets all the adoration she needs already. You have to face the fact that you’re fixated on an image, not a person. And you have to face the fact that that image can’t love you back.”
I leaned my stiff neck against the headrest and closed my eyes. There was a bitter taste in my mouth. Was it really time to give up? Hadn’t I tried every way I could think of to bring Melissa back to me?
No. I could still pull it off. If I couldn’t see Melissa after this concert, then I’d catch the next one, and another one after that. She would almost certainly go out on tour in support of her new album when it was ready. I had enough money to buy theater and airline tickets, and I would find some way to get time off from work.
“Can’t give up yet,” I heard myself say.
“What was that?”
I gave Kate a weak smile. “Nothing. I was just thinking out loud about what you told me.”
Kate stared down at the dashboard. “Let’s go get your car.”
*
I went to the office late the next morning, getting a few stares as I walked through the “hallowed halls.” I knew my erratic behavior had been the cause for some consternation and more than a few whispers. I found it difficult to care about this.
Mercifully, much of the day was filled with client meetings and the completion of a document that had to get out by late afternoon. It made the time pass and made me think less about my awful night and what I was going to do about Monday.
Around four o’clock Sharon buzzed me to say that Kate was on the line. I took a moment to pick up the phone, not sure I wanted to rehash our last conversation.
“Listen Kate,” I said. “I’m really sorry about last night.”
“Who cares? We have other things to talk about, like where you’re taking me to dinner Monday night.”
I felt a quick thrill of excitement. This could only mean one thing. “You reached Melissa?”
“I just spoke to her personal assistant. Some silly little twit named Jackeline who spells her name with a ‘k.’ I really would have expected the staff of a world-class musician to be a little less Tiger Beat, but maybe that’s part of the whole Melissa Argent marketing strategy.
“Anyway, she had no intention of even giving me the time of day, but she was no match for my power of persuasion. You will, by the way, tell me repeatedly how brilliant I am for the rest of my life.”
I laughed. “You’re more than brilliant. You’re brilliant and resourceful.”
“And let’s not forget gorgeous.”
“And sumptuous.”
“Sumptuous? Huh, I hadn’t thought of that.”
“You’re definitely sumptuous.”
“You think so?”
“Can we get back to the story?”
“No, I’m having too much fun drawing this out.”
“If I have a stroke before Monday, you’ll have to buy your own dinner.”
“Point well taken. Anyway, I finally got her to take this to Melissa herself. I even got her to interrupt Melissa in the studio to convey my message. I was really rolling at that point. As it turns out, all of those years of doing homework, painting toenails, and fantasizing about boys together have accrued to your benefit. Melissa was delighted to hear from me – I hope you don’t mind that I didn’t mention you, but we were having too much fun dishing – and we’ve been comped for the show and invited to a reception backstage afterward. Are you as completely impressed as you should be?”
I was well past impressed. I was virtually euphoric. “I’m so impressed I’m practically speechless,” I said, the words slightly choked as though to prove my point.
“I’m still thinking about how you’re going to repay me.”
“Anything you want will still be too little. You’re priceless, Kate.”
“The first man to tell me that, and he turns out to be a total lunatic. You promise that you aren’t going to embarrass me or get our pictures in the Post, right?”
“I swear,” I said, though I wasn’t making any such promises to myself. Once I saw Melissa up close, I had no idea how I was going to react.
“As long as we have that straight, pick me up at six o’clock sharp. The dinner needs to be even more sumptuous than I am.”
“Inconceivable.”
“Give it the old college try. And make sure you wear your best suit.”
She had no idea how little I needed that advice.
Chapter 22
Not Uncomfortable
Though it couldn’t possibly compare to what I was feeling, Kate was obviously anxious or she wouldn’t have been waiting on the sidewalk in front of her townhouse when I picked her up. I realized this evening had some real import for her as well. She was going to be reconnecting with a dear old friend after far too long.
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