She was so close to a smile, but then she frowned and looked away. Joe found the hem of her T-shirt and worked his hand beneath it, stroking gently from her waist upward to just below her breast. Her breathing quickened as the pulse in her throat leaped erratically. He dipped his head and covered the spot with his lips. She shuddered and leaned into him.
“I thought I was in charge.” Her voice trembled.
He slowly raised his head. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t try to influence your decision.” He smiled, watching her eyes as his hand rose higher, deliberately drawing a circle around her nipple, then rubbing his thumb across the raised peak.
She inhaled sharply as she grabbed hold of his waist. Her eyes turned a dark, steel-blue. “I can’t think when you do that.”
Joe chuckled. “That’s sort of the idea. Go with your heart, Cara.” He flicked her nipple again and she moaned.
Her eyes were closed, her head thrown back as she arched her body toward him. He drew her into his arms and continued to stroke her soft, sensitive skin.
“I… I hate being such a coward. I mean—it’s ridiculous to think you could be like him. I know you won’t hurt me—at least my head knows. My heart and soul are having a major meltdown at the moment.”
“They are?” He brushed a kiss across her lips then teased her mouth open with his tongue and explored its depths. When he finally raised his head, she was breathing hard.
“I don’t… want to feel like that anymore.” She brought her hand up to touch his face. Her eyes were radiant and sensuous, and a soft smile parted her lips. “I do trust you, Joe, but I’m afraid I’ll panic and ruin everything.”
“It’s my job to make sure that doesn’t happen, but if it does, we’ll work our way through it together.” He nuzzled her ear, and she brought her hands up to caress his chest.
“And if things don’t go so well?”
“I’ll love you either way.”
Her eyes filled with wonder. “Are you for real, Joe Reynolds?”
He laughed softly. “The real deal.”
Her gaze slid down to that button again.
He anchored a strand of her short, uneven hair behind her ear, grinning. “I love you, Cara.” He raised her chin, and her smile took his breath away.
Pulling her tightly into his arms again, he covered her mouth with his, heard her soft moan, and her good arm went around his neck. Lightly, his lips feathered from her earlobe to her collarbone, tenderly kissing her scars and nipping gently where her pulse beat wildly in her throat.
His eyes fixed on hers for any sign of fear. He slipped both hands under her T-shirt. Her skin was warm satin beneath his touch. Striving for control, he let his breath out slowly and eased her shirt off over her head, careful of her wounded shoulder. She wore no bra and his eyes were drawn to her breasts, swollen and ready, demanding to be touched. As he cupped the firm mounds, gently squeezing and flicking his thumbs over the rounded tips again and again, she pressed into his hands, while she clung with one arm to his neck. He kissed her sweet lips, slowly and deliberately pulling her closer again until every inch of her upper body molded against his.
“If I hurt you, even a little bit…”
“You won’t.”
The certainty in her voice encouraged him. Finally he was making some progress. His finger traced the outline of her mouth, across the scars on her jaw, to the base of her throat and lower, until his hand cupped her breast again. She inhaled sharply and a groan escaped her when his tongue teased one nipple, then the other. Her hand on the back of his neck drew him closer.
Joe ached to feel her skin against his. He sat back and fumbled with the buttons on his shirt. She watched through half-closed eyelids, the solemn look in her eyes stirring his desire. The light scent of jasmine, combined with the softness of her skin, heightened his awareness. For a moment, he concentrated all his attention on holding himself in check. He had to take this slow. He wanted her to trust him, especially in her bed.
“I’m not much good with these.” She reached one arm to help him with the buttons.
He stripped the shirt off and pulled her close again. “You have many other talents.”
The warmth of her bare skin against his naked chest drove him wild. He groaned and exhaled slowly. He wanted to make this good for her—so damn good it would drive Dennelli clear out of her head, but Joe didn’t know how much more he could take.
When she trailed her fingertips over his rib cage, he trembled and quickly grabbed her hand. Laying her back against the pillows, he smiled at the impish grin on her face.
“Is the big, mean mercenary ticklish?” Her eyes sparkled with humor.
“Something tells me that’s not information you should have.”
“You said I was in charge.”
She tried to pull her hand free, and he twined his fingers with hers on the pillow above her head.
“I didn’t think you’d abuse your power, Party Girl.” He kissed her nose playfully and, as he raised his head and smiled, her delighted laughter made his heart swell. He stopped and watched in awe as the woman who’d been afraid of everything three weeks ago, who’d tried so hard to prove she wasn’t, transformed before him. The sun seemed to shine from her eyes and sweet smile. Her laughter was clear and honest, full of life and promise. It was what he wanted to give her—love and hope for the future.
Seeing her happiness gleam from her face was more than he could have hoped for… but it didn’t ease the fire in his loins.
Her mouth opened beneath his and her tongue met his advances. He caressed her silky skin and stroked his hand across her stomach, moving lower to undo her jeans and slide beneath the waistband. Cara tensed, and Joe stopped, his fingers making lazy circles on her abdomen, his gaze catching hers and holding it.
Longing was all he saw in her expression, but he had to make sure.
“You can still say no. I’ll respect your decision, even though it will be… more difficult at this point.” He chuckled and then sobered. “Let me show you how a man should treat a woman. I’ll never hurt you. Trust me, Cara.”
“I will—always.” She ran her hand lightly over the stubble he hadn’t taken time to shave this morning, then kissed him hungrily. Her breathing came faster and faster.
Joe couldn’t hold back any longer. Leaving her embrace, he tugged off her jeans and removed the rest of his clothes. He searched his wallet for a condom, ripped the foil package open, and put it on. Then he lay down, moving her beneath him until their bodies fit together perfectly. He kissed her possessively, swallowing her moan as they joined together, and he lost himself in the hot, breathless rhythm that carried him higher and higher, drawing her with him toward the precipice, until she cried out his name, and he followed her over the edge.
Chapter Thirty-One
* * *
Tuesday, 11:49 am
JOE’S HAND, DRAPED across her bare stomach, tightened, and she again experienced the stirrings of passion. She moved against him and smiled when she felt his response. He rose up on one elbow, rolling her toward him.
“Why aren’t you exhausted? Clearly I need to try harder.” Humor shone from his golden brown eyes. He looked happy. Was that same look mirrored in her eyes?
“I’m making up for lost time,” she replied.
“That’s an admirable goal.” He kissed her open mouth. “I’ll help you with that, but right now, you need to eat. Come on. Get up. We’re going into town for lunch.” He rolled from the bed and started dressing.
Did she hear that right? She glanced at him quizzically. “Lunch will be ready downstairs any minute.”
“After lunch, we’ve got some shopping to do.”
“What are you shopping for?”
“Not me—you. At the very least you need a winter coat and some boots. The snow gets deep around here.” He stopped and sadness shadowed his eyes for a second before he winked at her. “Even if you decide not to stay, you’ll need some traveling clothes. Get ready. We can argue ab
out it on the way.” He grinned as he offered a hand to help her up, pulling her straight into his arms for a leisurely hug. “We’ll get back to this… I promise. Now, get some clothes on, Party Girl, or we’ll be back in that bed.”
After he left, Cara showered and dressed as quickly as she could, struggling with everything from keeping her bandage dry to buttoning her jeans. Every task caused more frustration, finally turning to anger. She held her breath and prayed for patience. The last thing she wanted to do was snap at Joe.
He loved her.
His admission astonished her, filled her with joy, and terrified her all at the same time. What she planned to do would hurt him immeasurably. He wouldn’t understand—must never understand why she would go back to David. If he did, he wouldn’t let it go. He’d wade into the fray to protect her, regardless the cost.
She was bent over, blow-drying her hair clumsily, when hands circled her waist, startling her. Instinctively, she straightened, bringing the blow-dryer around in an arc toward the intruder. Joe deftly caught her hand just before the appliance cracked into his skull.
“Not bad. Good reaction time. Could use a little more strength behind the swing. You’ll get that back in time.” He grinned and took the dryer from her hand. “Let me help you with that.”
She started to refuse, but he nudged her gently toward the mirror and turned the dryer on. She watched his face while he concentrated on her hair.
She loved him. She’d been afraid to admit it, even to herself, but now a wonderful sense of freedom settled over her. The words almost burst from her lips before she caught herself. She couldn’t tell him.
“There. Anything else I can help with?”
“I just need my jacket and I’m ready to go.”
He retrieved her coat and helped her put it on, then squeezed her hand reassuringly before leading the way downstairs. Cara felt the tension as soon as they left her room. The house vibrated with activity. There were people everywhere—some were strangers. She glanced at Joe curiously.
“We’re expecting a few new arrivals,” he said.
“For training?”
“These men are fully trained.”
“Why are they coming here? Are you going out on a job?” Her heartbeat picked up speed.
“Not sure yet. Just trying to be prepared.” He watched her for a moment and suddenly she realized what he wasn’t telling her. He was gathering an army because he didn’t know what David meant to do.
Guilt slammed into her. She was caught between two impossible situations, one of them forcing her to withhold information from Joe that he needed for the war he had clearly embraced. Was she endangering the people she intended to protect? Maybe she was wrong not to trust him with David’s ultimatum. Joe knew how to take care of himself and the people he cared about.
She squeezed her eyes closed against the swirling thoughts in her head and swayed, suddenly light-headed and dizzy. He caught her against him as she stumbled on one of the steps.
“Maybe we overdid it up there,” he whispered, a lopsided grin making him look younger and less like the soldier he was.
She stopped, turned toward him, and grabbed the banister for balance. “Why didn’t you ask me?”
“Ask you what?”
“Why David called—what he said?”
“I knew you’d tell me when you were ready.” He brushed a strand of hair from her eyes. His expression was kind.
She felt lower than a traitor.
Tyler’s approach ended their conversation. “Joe, we’ve got a dozen new guys coming in by tonight… a couple more tomorrow. Walker wants to know if he should keep calling.”
“Make it an even fifteen,” Joe said. “Hey, you and Rayna want to go into town with us?”
“I’ll ask her.”
“Get two or three guys to follow us in the Jeep. I feel the need for a presence in town.”
They continued down the stairs and as they hit the landing, Walker stepped from Joe’s study, phone to his ear. A flutter of nervousness brought heat to Cara’s cheeks as he hesitated then walked straight for her, stopping inches away as he finished his call and hung up.
“I screwed up,” Walker said, “but it’s not the first time and it probably won’t be the last. How about if I let you beat the shit out of me the next time we spar?”
“Let me? I’m perfectly capable of…”
He gave a satisfied grin and his eyes twinkled with mischief.
With an effort, she kept a straight face. “You should be sorry, but you can make it up to me by coming to town with us this afternoon.” A smile slowly spread across her face.
He nodded. “You got it—if the boss is done with me. Joe, I got sixteen for sure, and a couple maybes. Enough?”
“For now… until we find out what we’re up against.”
The crushing guilt again. Cara needed time to think this through, but she wasn’t going to get it now. Tyler hurried up to them again and glanced hesitantly at her.
“Rayna doesn’t want to face Cara. She wouldn’t tell me what happened, but she’s pretty upset.”
“I’ll talk to her.” Cara straightened, dread making her mouth dry. “Where is she?”
“Dining hall.”
Cara saw her as soon as she walked in. Rayna sat alone at a table in the corner of the room. Cara strode over to her and pulled out a chair.
Rayna fidgeted in her seat, finally speaking first. “I’m sorry. I guess I overreacted.”
Cara snorted. “You guess?”
Rayna grimaced and dropped her gaze.
“I thought we were friends.”
“We are.”
“I’d like to think so, but the last time I checked, friends trusted each other. You’ve only seen the tip of the iceberg, Rayna, and you couldn’t handle it. I have to do something now that’s going to look really bad, and you’re going to have to take it on faith that whatever happens, I would never put you, or Joe, or anyone else here in danger. I’m not sure you’re up to the challenge.”
Rayna looked wounded as she blinked back tears. “Joe taught me when I first came here, if you’re not part of the team, you’re the enemy. There are no gray areas. Where do you fit, Cara?”
“I’m just a stranger, passing through. I don’t have the luxury of joining your team.”
“Well, I wanted you to. I wanted you to stay here and be my friend. I needed you to stay.” She lost her battle with tears, and others in the dining hall seemed tuned in to their conversation.
Cara lowered her voice and leaned closer. “I can’t stay.”
The young girl frowned. “Does Joe know?”
“Yes. He still thinks he can change my mind, but he’s taking me to town to buy traveling clothes. You were right about him and me. It’s tearing me up to think about leaving, but I have no choice.”
“Are you sure? There are always choices.”
“I wish it were that simple.”
Rayna fell silent again for a moment. “Will you stay in touch?”
“I will… if I can.” Cara didn’t hold out much hope of that being an option. “Meanwhile, we still have today. Is my friend going to town with me, or not?”
Tuesday, 1:32 pm
CARA’S STOMACH GROWLED as they all seated themselves at the Main Street Pizza Parlor for a late lunch. Joe was a different person, open and jovial with his men, attentive and protective of her. Seeing him so happy and lighthearted made her wish for things that could never be.
She exchanged a glance with Rayna. The younger woman apparently noticed Joe’s cheerful mood, too, and studied them both curiously.
Cara’s guilt squashed the joy she should have felt. She forced a bright smile, but if she didn’t confess her secret soon, the weight of it would crush her. Was telling Joe the right thing to do? What if someone was hurt or killed? What if that someone was Joe?
“Cara and I will check out the clothing stores on Main Street and then head over to the shopping center,” Joe said as they finished and
prepared to leave. “Don’t forget—Dennelli, or someone who works for him, could still be out there. Keep your cell phones handy and your eyes open.”
She hated being the center of all the commotion. Walker winked as he rose to follow Jim, Steve, and Sanchez from the restaurant. Tyler and Rayna remained at the table.
“I need to do a little shopping myself,” Rayna said. “If you don’t mind, Cara, maybe Ty and I could tag along.”
“Mind? Clothes shopping almost demands a woman’s opinion.”
Tyler shook his head and glanced toward Joe. “I think we’ve just been insulted.”
“Don’t worry, Ty. It will ultimately come down to what we think looks good,” Joe drawled.
Cara laughed. “Really? Someone’s a little full of himself today.”
“With good reason.” With a smile in his eyes, he rose and helped her up.
“Oh my God!” Rayna looked back and forth between them.
“Am I missing something?” Tyler asked.
Joe slipped his arm around Cara’s waist and propelled her toward the door, leaving Tyler standing at the table with a confused look on his face. Rayna would no doubt fill him in soon enough.
“She came to talk to me, you know.” Joe leaned close to her. “Told me about her and Ty. Took a lot of guts and maturity. I was pretty proud of her.” He glanced toward Cara. “I know you had something to do with that.”
“Me?”
He snorted a laugh. “You’re not going to deny it, are you?”
“No.”
He pulled her closer and, for the first time in her life, she felt cherished.
Tuesday, 4:26 pm
CARA LEANED HEAVILY on Joe as he found them a table at a little coffee shop in the mall and finally collapsed into her chair. Who would have thought he actually liked to shop? She practically had to drag him out of the last two stores. He’d chosen things for her she would never have picked for herself and made her try on each item. That would have been a trial in itself, if he hadn’t stepped into the dressing room with her.
“It’s okay.” He smiled at the attendant whose face registered disapproval. “She’s my wife.”
All or Nothing: A Trust No One Novel Page 25