by Lacey Thorn
He released her with a roar. His brother held one arm, and it appeared Tah held the other. Zane and Reno were both there, as well. Finn’s gaze was locked on her, and in his piercing look, she saw a craving that had nothing to do with the desire for a mate. No, he wanted her dead.
She closed her eyes against the rage and let the darkness claim her.
* * * *
Laura came to with a jolt, her body jerking upright, her gaze scanning around her. Logan was there, along with his mate, Clara. Gabriel and Daniel were both there, too, but the one man she searched for was gone. She slung her legs over the side of the bed.
“Where is he?” she croaked, bringing a hand up to rub her throat. It hurt to speak, to breathe. No, it burned.
“Whoa, take it easy,” Logan said as he came to her side and poured a glass of water from a pitcher she hadn’t even noticed. “Drink this. Your throat must hurt.”
She nodded, taking the glass and slowly sipping the cool liquid. She couldn’t contain the grimace that pulled at her lips and hated the way her bother reacted to it. Anger. It seemed she was making everyone angry lately.
“What happened? Where’s Finn?” Laura asked.
“He threatened to rip your throat out,” Daniel said. “Thankfully, the rest of us weren’t willing to let that happen.”
“What do you mean?” she rasped.
“I mean, what the fuck were you thinking just standing there? The man threatened you. He almost choked you to death,” Daniel roared.
She shook her head but stopped almost immediately as a wave of pain went through her neck. “He wouldn’t really hurt me,” she muttered, eyes closed as she cradled her head. She had to believe that. He was her mate. He might be angry, but he wouldn’t actually kill her.
“No one else seemed convinced of that,” Gabriel said.
She lifted her head again. “What happened? I saw…” She paused to clear her throat. “I saw his brother and several others grabbing him. Tah and Reno and Zane, I think.”
“He was enraged, not acting like himself at all,” Daniel said.
“They took him somewhere to calm down,” Logan added. “He’ll be fine.”
“I should go to him,” she suggested, and everyone shook their heads.
“You need to sit and give your head a few minutes to clear,” Gabriel countered, his tone hard, almost daring her to challenge him. Despite the fact no one mentioning it, she knew they’d been told everything she and Finn had said to one another.
She cleared her throat again, wincing and taking another delicate sip. She was avoiding discussing it, and she knew it.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I should have told you.”
“You think?” Daniel shouted.
“I think it’s past time you told us exactly what the hell is going on?” Gabriel demanded quietly. “You’re mated to Finn? You didn’t think we needed to know that? And what did he mean when he said you’d left him to die? You met your mate and left him?”
“Apparently, I’m a little too much like you,” she snapped then flinched as she saw him absorb her jab. Guilt ripped through her immediately. That had been a low blow, especially for her. “Gabriel, I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry.”
“You’re right. I did leave my mate. I left her so I could go save you from your latest death-wish spree. Tell me. Is this why? Were you hoping to die so your mate couldn’t find you? Did what almost happened to you cause that much damage?”
“No!” She shook her head vigorously. “No,” she said again more quietly, taking a deep breath and releasing it. “I moved past that a long time ago.”
Logan reached for her hand and gripped it. “I’m so sorry, Laura. I should have been there for you. No excuses. I should have kept searching for a way to find you.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to agree, but she bit it off. Hostility wasn’t the answer. Besides, it didn’t matter. At the moment, nothing did but her mate. “It’s okay,” she said. “Where did they take Finn?”
“I think it’s best if you stayed away from him for a bit,” Logan said.
“I’m his mate,” Laura challenged.
“This is one time I think it’s safe to say having his mate with him isn’t a good idea,” Clara stated. “In fact, it seems like you’re the last person who should be around him.”
Laura shook her head. That couldn’t be true.
“I want to know how you met him,” Gabriel interjected, drawing her attention to him. “When did you have a chance to meet Finn?”
“It had to be when he left Colorado,” Logan said. “He took the transponder that had been inside Reno’s mate, Amia. Diane removed it. Finn took it and left, hoping to draw anyone tracing it away from us.”
“That’s when he was captured by a hunting party?” Daniel asked.
“Yes,” Clara answered.
Laura closed her eyes and saw Finn again, as he’d looked the day she’d found him. Had she missed something? She’d swear she hadn’t. He’d been dying. She’d kissed him just before she felt him slipping away from her.
“What I want to know is why Finn threatened to rip your throat out?” Clara pondered aloud.
“He wouldn’t have hurt me,” she told them again, though her raw throat would say otherwise. The looks they gave her said they thought the same thing.
“Maybe if any of us had realized he was your mate, we could have arranged for a safe first meeting between the two of you,” Gabriel admonished. “As it was, all we heard was a threat. All we saw was him holding you against a wall, keeping us away from you, choking the life from you.”
“It makes no sense,” Clara argued. “If you’re really his mate, the last thing he should want is for you to die. It makes me wonder what the hunters did to him while they had him. Finn was in really bad shape when Murphy and Zane brought him back to Colorado.”
“Laura?” Logan called her name.
“I thought he was dead,” she whispered. “I thought I’d lost him.”
“That explains your death wish lately,” Gabriel said. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I…” She broke off and shook her head. “I didn’t want to accept it. Telling you would have made it hard to pretend it was just a dream.”
“For good reason it seems,” Clara observed. “Maybe, your animal picked up on what you couldn’t?”
“I need to see him,” Laura said again. The images from before overrode the more recent ones. Blue eyes, red hair and a strong jaw line covered in a beard were hidden by memories of a face bruised and broken, one awash in so much blood his features had been nearly obliterated. All but his vivid-blue eyes.
“Let’s go check in with Tah,” Logan said. “He’ll have a better idea of how Finn is doing. There’s a lot going on that you don’t know about.”
She wanted to ask, wanted to demand answers before they left the room, but knew Logan would make her wait. She let him and Clara lead the way to the office Tah used, while Gabriel and Daniel followed close on her heels. None of them moved fast enough to suit her. Finally, they moved down the hall to where a door stood open as if they’d been waiting for her.
Tah sat behind his desk while Reno paced back and forth in front of it. Tah’s mate, Abby, sat with Diane and Reno’s mate, Amia, on one of the long couches. A small playpen was in the corner, and Laura had no doubt little Regan was in there. The baby was never far from her mother.
“Laura, how’re you feeling?” Tah asked as soon as she entered.
“I’m fine. How’s Finn?”
They all looked at her, and she felt as if she were under a microscope.
“How is it that Finn seems to think you’re his mate, when I wasn’t even aware the two of you had met?” Tah asked.
Laura didn’t know where to start or how to explain how she’d found Finn then left him. God! She just needed to see him again, to reassure herself this wasn’t all a twisted dream. Finn was her mate, and he was alive.
Diane moved toward her, her stomach swollen with the ch
ild she carried. Abby hovered at her side, as if she were prepared to step in if anything became too strenuous for the other woman to handle.
Diane looked right at Laura. “Did you know Finn was taken prisoner by a group of hunters?”
Laura said nothing. The other woman’s expression said it all. Diane knew. Somehow, the other woman knew exactly when and where Laura had met Finn. Though the others suspected, Logan even mentioning it, Diane was the one to call her out on it.
“He’d been tortured and left for dead when his brother, Murphy, and my mate found him,” Diane continued. “They managed to get him back to where we were in Colorado. Finn was barely hanging on when he arrived. I thought he was going to die.”
Laura had thought the same. God, she’d left him there. What if she’d stayed? What if…
She shook it off. She’d felt him die. She’d kissed him just before he took his last breath. The only thing that had pulled her from him was the fact lives had depended on her. Had she known or even sensed that Finn was still alive, she’d never have had the strength to walk away.
“The Professor had been working on something using shifter DNA,” Diane continued. “When we were attacked by a hunting party set on killing Tah and taking Abby, Logan was shot along with Reno. Reno healed quickly. Logan took more time.”
“But you have shifter DNA already,” Laura argued, glancing toward her brother.
“It’s recessed in me,” he answered, reminding her of what Gabriel had told her earlier. “Nothing has pulled it completely out, not even meeting my mate. When I was shot, that side of me didn’t kick in at all. It took me twice as long to heal as it took Reno. The Professor decided to see if he could speed up the healing process for the humans among us. Finn was the guinea pig for it even though the Professor knew Finn had recessed animal DNA. The drug made him heal so quickly surgery wasn’t required, which was a miracle considering how he looked when he arrived.”
“Were there any side effects from the drug?” she asked.
“He lost his memory,” Tah said. “When he woke, he didn’t remember anything after the moment Reno called and asked for help.”
“He didn’t remember being captured or…anything that happened there?” she asked.
“Not until recently,” Reno answered. “He’s been having dreams he thinks might be memories mixed up with pieces of his past.”
“Did he say what he’s remembering?” Laura swallowed as they all seemed to dissect her with their gazes.
“I’m willing to bet one is of a woman who looks remarkably like you,” Diane murmured.
She slowly nodded.
“He’s been having headaches, and Gideon’s been checking his blood work. Finn’s showing spikes similar to what Logan’s been experiencing after being injected with an unknown quantity of feral fever virus,” Tah reported. “Unfortunately, we have no idea what the hunters did to Finn, so we don’t know what symptoms might be from them and what might be from the injection the Professor gave him?”
“Is he…ill?” Laura questioned. “May I see him?”
“He’s definitely not himself,” Tah stated. “We all heard him threaten to rip your throat out. Then we fought with a man who’s never been a threat to any of us. We fought to contain him, to protect you. I have no idea what’s going on with him right now, and frankly, I’m not willing to let you do anything that might make things worse. I’m not certain he won’t make good on his promise to kill you.”
“He won’t hurt me,” she vowed.
“What about you?” Abby asked. “Will you hurt him?”
“I…” Laura broke off, unsure of what to say. She’d already hurt him by leaving him there after she’d found him. At least, it sounded as if he’d forgotten her until recently. That was better than the haunted memories she’d carried with her. “I don’t want to hurt him.”
Tah nodded. “You did though, didn’t you?”
“I found him,” she admitted. “I thought he was dying. I…” She shook her head. “I left him there. I swear I felt him slip away from me, and I left him there. I left him and died a little more every day just knowing he was gone.”
Chapter Five
“What’s wrong with me?” Finn demanded when Gideon entered the room they’d shut him in.
Finn understood why they’d done it. Jesus, he’d tried to kill his mate. He’d blame the shock of suddenly seeing her, but he knew there was more to it than that. Something was going on inside him. He’d felt it when he’d been with her. The pain had made it seem as if his head would split open.
He’d fought against the rage churning through him. The more he’d fought, the more he’d lost control. His body had been burning hot, and Laura’s skin had been so cool. He’d just wanted to touch her then suddenly his hand was around her throat, squeezing, and the more he’d fought to let go, the tighter his grip had become.
“I don’t know yet,” Gideon answered. “You’re no longer showing any of the markers for the virus. This is something new, something we’ve never seen before. I don’t even know what to compare it to. I need you to talk to me. Walk me through exactly what happened. Tell me what you were thinking and feeling.”
Finn groaned, raking his fingers through his hair then gripping it and giving it a yank. “I wish to fuck I knew.”
“Whoa, there. You’re eyes are flaring again. What’s going through your head?”
“I almost killed her. Why didn’t someone jump in sooner? You just stood there and let me attack my mate!” Finn thundered.
“For one, none of us knew you were mated,” Gideon responded. “For two, none of us thought you capable of what happened.”
“Obviously, you were wrong on both counts,” he said with a growl and began pacing again.
“You smelled her on Dr. Jensen,” Gideon prompted after a long moment.
“Before today, I wasn’t sure if she even existed,” Finn admitted. “She’s been in my dreams.”
I would have loved you.
“How did you know it was her you smelled?” Gideon asked.
Finn shrugged. “I just did. I don’t know how. Maybe, it was instinct. She’s my mate.”
“You said she left you to die,” Gideon commented. “I wasn’t around when you were taken, but I’m guessing it was when you were captured.”
He nodded. “I was dying. I couldn’t feel Murphy anymore, so I knew what was happening. I shut my eyes for a moment. When I blinked them back open, she was there. I knew who she was immediately. I thought it was evil of fate to show me my mate when I was dying.”
“So you thought you were dying, too?” Gideon asked.
“I was,” Finn agreed. “She brought me back then left me there to die all over again.”
“When she found you, what happened? What did you see?”
Finn closed his eyes. God, his head hurt so fucking bad. It felt as if it would explode.
“Finn?” Gideon called to him.
“Something’s wrong,” Finn managed to mutter. “Head.” He went to his knees, cradling his head in his hands, moaning as agony ripped through him.
He heard the door open, was faintly aware of Gideon calling for help. There were footsteps, but Finn was beyond caring. He was confident his head would explode off his shoulders. Whatever was wrong with him, it would kill him.
“Finn! Finn!”
Murphy’s voice. Murphy’s hands reaching for him, holding him.
“Stay with me,” Murphy yelled. “Don’t leave me, brother. Who’ll watch over me?”
“Ma…te…”
“Don’t worry, brother. If anything happens to you, I’ll kill her for you.”
Finn’s denial was locked in his head as his body convulsed. He gritted his teeth and yanked his head back. His body was jerking, every muscle clenching as something shifted inside him. His body burned, his joints popping, sending slivers of pain all throughout him.
He cried out, the words morphing into an animalistic hiss. His vision dimmed to a pinpoint of spac
e then widened, gaining a crispness he’d never experienced. He saw the fur of his beast covering his skin as his body twitched with each shift as the beast emerged.
Everything clicked inside him as the transformation completed. Man and beast were one for the first time. Finn gave a fierce growl, the sound vibrating through his chest and echoing in the room. He turned his head to see the awe in his brother’s gaze then he nosed past Gideon and out the door. He was back in the med center. He headed for the door and was surprised to see Dr. Jensen standing there.
“I see you found your spirit,” the doctor said. “You look good together.” Then he pushed the door open.
Finn didn’t look back. He ran, his beast fully in control as the man struggled to deal with overwhelming emotions. He hadn’t been able to control the emergence of his animal. One moment, he’d been sure his head would split in two. The next thing he knew, his recessive beast had taken control.
He realized now that was what he’d been fighting. His animal side had caused the intense pain. The harder he’d fought, the more painful it had become. So much was shifting and changing inside him as he and his lynx finally merged and became one. There was no longer an invisible barrier keeping them apart. His senses grew and expanded beyond what they’d ever been, and he roared with the full voice of the animal.
His first instinct was to find his mate and finally claim her as his. The animal fought him though. Until they’d completed the merge, they might be the greatest danger to her. With one last roar, he was gone.
Wind howled around him as he sped away from the labs and house, heading out over the plains. He felt the dirt under his paws, smelled the plethora of scents suddenly coming alive and saw it all through the sharp vision of his cat. Everything was so much clearer. He saw a mouse scurrying for shelter a little over two hundred feet away, could hear the scampering of its tiny feet.
He settled into his stride and waited for his brother to catch up to him. From the beginning, he’d known Murphy would shift and be hot on his heels.
You didn’t think I’d miss your first run, did you?
Murphy’s voice filled his head, and Finn realized their connection was even deeper in animal form. Murphy pulled up at his side and nudged him to turn with a press of his head. Finn nudged back and took the lead again.