He’d struggled with guilt, ever since the morning in the orchard when he’d told her he wouldn’t touch her again. Struggled with guilt and yet fury that he’d made such a ridiculous statement. Struggled with anger and self-loathing for hurting her in such an inane way. Keeping himself from her hadn’t helped him to stay anymore focused on finding Laura. In fact, it had made it all the worse! For now, instead of the sweet feel of Lauryn next to him, instead of the delicious taste of her mouth as they kissed being his distraction…it was the lack of those things that burdened his mind! The lack of owning her trust that caused him to nearly break into fits of angry swearing.
And so, Brant was glad for the ominous feeling in his soul. The feeling that things were about to change, forever.
Chapter Nineteen
“Nana?” Lauryn began as she and Brant sat with her grandmother on the front porch. “We…we’ve discovered somethin’ and we need to ask you about it.”
Instantly, Virginia’s eyes widened with hope. “What, darlin’! What have you found?”
“In Vermont, we found letters in the Captain’s trunk. We…we were readin’ some of the letters Laura wrote to Brand while he was away at war. There’s a reference to…why didn’t you ever tell us? We think it might be important.”
“What, dear?” Nana asked, confused at Lauryn’s rambling.
“Your sister, Carissa,” Brant stated. “Why didn’t anyone ever talk about her?”
Lauryn felt guilty instantly, when she saw the rosiness drain from her grandmother’s face. Nana had been through too much miserable memory in the past few days to be emotionally healthy.
Quickly, Lauryn tried to soothe her. “We don’t want to upset you, Nana. But, in one of the letters, and maybe we should’ve just gone through the Captain’s again…but…but Laura mentioned havin’ seen Carissa and…”
“I saw her, too,” Virginia confessed in a barely audible whisper. “The day of the battle. I saw her. Here at Connemara House.”
“What?” Lauryn exclaimed. It was unbelievable! First of all, that her Nana could have a sister that she never, ever spoke of. And now this?
“The day of the battle. I saw her. Carissa was here. But I was too afraid to tell anyone. And besides…whenever was there time with a war ragin’ on our own property?”
“Why was she here?” Brant asked.
Nana daintily wiped a tear from her cheek with the handkerchief she produced from the waistband of her dress. “She…she was alone. So alone. And she was….she was…”
“Expecting a baby?” Brant finished for her. Nana nodded and sniffled.
“She had come in search of safety and….and maybe to find Daddy’s heart had softened. But she made me promise not to tell that I had seen her. She wanted to speak to Daddy herself because she didn’t want to upset Mama further….or Lauralynn. So, she kissed me on the cheek, asked my forgiveness for the sinful things she’d done to herself and the family, and….and I never saw her again.”
“Never?” Lauryn asked.
“No. Never,” her grandmother confirmed. “Sometimes I’d think I saw her…on a street corner or by a tree. Even as I’m older I sometimes think that…but it’s always someone else. Not her.”
“Laura had seen her, too. On other occasions,” Brant mentioned.
“I know,” Virginia Kensington admitted. “She told me. It had upset her terribly. She felt as if Carissa was mockin’ her…still tryin’ to ruin the love she and Brand had. But nothin’ ever could’ve. Nothin’! And Carissa knew that. And besides, Laura helped her. I think Carissa’s heart did change. Truly. And Laura was able to forgive her. And she helped her. Though, Daddy never knew.”
“So, Carissa was here that day,” Brant mumbled pensively, more to himself than anyone.
“I’m sorry, children,” Nana sighed suddenly. “This day has been too much for me. I’ll talk with you about it later…but I just feel that I can’t take another moment of it just now. I need some rest.”
“Of course, Nana,” Lauryn soothed. “You just sit here in the rocker and rest your eyes a while.”
Nana nodded. “Oh, Carissa,” she sighed. “How I loved her! And she was good to me. Always played tea party with Lauralynn and me. Always helped me and looked after me. Always…until Brand and Lauralynn…”
“Rest now, Nana,” Lauryn soothed. “Put it from your mind.”
“Thank you, darlin’,” Virginia said as she sighed a breath of letting go.
Lauryn stood in the barren room that had been hers for her entire life. The room that now stood empty, lonely. The soft, lovingly stitched quilts were gone, the soft bed…the crystal bowls of floating flowers and candles. Everything was gone. Everything except the gruesome blood stains on the floor. There was a particularly massive one directly in the center of the room, and it was disturbing beyond description to Lauryn. Her beautiful haven of privacy…gone forever.
Brant had gone for a walk. He’d said he’d needed to think. So with her Nana resting in the rocker on the porch, her mother on the back porch with Mr. DuMonde from the historical society, and Patrick off getting into who-knew-what kind of mischief…Lauryn found herself completely, and somewhat unwillingly, alone.
“They’re at peace,” he said from behind her. Instantly, at the sound of the Captain’s familiar voice, Lauryn felt comforted. She turned to face him. “The men who died here…they’re happy, peacefully that way.”
Lauryn nodded and tried to smile at him. “And…and…do you think it’s right, Captain…to let Connemara become…become….”
“Yes. I do,” he stated, stepping forward and gathering her into his consoling embrace. “Without tangible and dramatic tokens of history…people forget what went before, why they have freedom, how their ancestors literally made their lives possible.”
“But…Connemara…it’s my life! Every childhood memory I have is here! How can I ever leave it behind and…” Lauryn sobbed.
“Connemara will stand forever, Lauryn,” the Captain reminded her. “And it is, after all, a thing. People have been born here, loved here and had to leave it behind for generations now. Isn’t that so? Connemara protected and warmed you and you will always love her. But you would’ve left soon enough to live your life out somewhere else.” The Captain took her face in his hands and gazed adoringly into her eyes. “But you’ll never lose Connemara. She’s part of your soul.”
Lauryn smiled and snuggled tighter into his embrace. “I know. I suppose that secretly I’m more worried that…that Connemara is what has kept Brant…that Connemara is the magic that…”
“That kept him coming back to you,” he finished for her.
“Yes,” she admitted.
“No, sweet angel. You did that on your own.”
“Lauryn! We’re losin’ our minds,” Brant growled as he entered the room.
“What?” Lauryn exclaimed, pushing herself from the Captain’s arms immediately.
“Excuse me, sir.” Brant nodded at the Captain as he took hold of Lauryn’s hand and began fairly dragging her from the room. “But time’s awastin’ and all this mess with the house nearly made me forget why we rushed back.” Glancing back at the Captain, he added, “You might want to come along, sir.” The Captain nodded and followed them out of the room.
“What are you goin’ on about?” Lauryn asked, trying to hitch her skirt up enough to enable her to keep up with his furious pace toward the attic.
“The false bottom…in Laura’s trunk. Remember?” he mumbled, undaunted.
Lauryn gasped, suddenly remembering their purpose and rather horrified that she’d allowed herself to forget it! As they rushed up the stairs toward the attic, Lauryn’s heart began to pound madly. Her skin prickled and she knew…she knew they would find something…something that would change their lives, hers and Brant’s…Laura’s and the Captain’s…forever.
“I knew it,” Brant mumbled as he sat the last treasure of Lauralynn’s trunk aside and put h
is hand flat on the trunk bottom. Lauryn’s heart began to beat madly with anticipation. It was important! Her very soul knew it.
Careless of the trunks condition or end, Brant drove his fist through the planking that was the false bottom. “I knew it,” he repeated. “It is just like yours, isn’t it Captain?”
“Yes,” was all the Captain said. Lauryn noticed momentarily again, that the Captain didn’t seem as…as vivid as he had before. But as Brant reached into the trunk, removing a small bundle of letters, her thoughts turned to their task once more.
Setting the letters aside quickly, he reached in again and withdrew an ancient piece of sheet music and a photograph perhaps fourteen inches in width and twelve inches high.
“Oh, my goodness,” Lauryn whispered as she gazed at the photograph Brant held. “Brant?” Lauryn breathed as he held up the photograph for her to see better. “Brant…are you seein’ here what I’m seein’?”
The photograph obviously had been taken on Brandon and Lauralynn’s wedding day. For there they stood, the Captain and his lady, at the center of focus, surrounded by other people. Lauryn recognized her great-grandfather and great-grandmother O’Halleran. She’d seen them in other photographs in the family albums, knowing them at once in the one Brant now held. And, there were three young men she recognized, as well. Lauralynn’s brothers. And there was her grandmother, Virginia Anne O’Halleran…a small girl of eight, standing to Lauralynn’s right and holding a china doll. But the other person in the photograph astonished Lauryn the most! The person standing directly to the Laura’s left sent a shiver up Lauryn’s spine and caused the hair on the back of her neck to bristle.
“It’s Brandon and Laura,” Brant mumbled. “But…but…if I didn’t know better…and I do know better,” Brant stammered. “That girl next to the Captain is the spittin’ image of…of your friend Penny McGovern.”
Carefully, Lauryn took the photograph from Brant’s trembling grasp. Turning it over to see if there was anything written on the back she read aloud. “August 16, 1863. The wedding of Brandon Masterson and Lauralynn O’Halleran.”
Lauryn caressed the ancient looking penmanship with her fingers as she continued to read, “Keil McCrea and Erynn Shayla O’Halleran. William O’Halleran, Sean O’Halleran. Virginia Anne O’Halleran aged 8 years, Carissa O’Halleran aged 15 years.”
As she looked at the photograph again, Lauryn felt as if she couldn’t breathe. “Brant. It can’t be. The similarity…it’s a coincidence, right?” She looked to the Captain. “Captain? It’s just coincidence, isn’t it?”
But the Captain was fading. “I’ll leave that to you.”
“But, Captain?” Lauryn called. He was gone. Odd, Lauryn thought, that he should leave when they had just found…
“Similarity?” Brant exclaimed. “They could be twins, Lauryn.” And it was true! As much as Lauryn’s mind fought the reality, it was true. Carissa O’Halleran was the exact image of Penny McGovern.
“And would you look at that,” Brant breathed in an awed whisper. Lauryn was stunned by their discovery, yes. But not too stunned to be even further astonished when she looked to the piece of sheet music he handed to her.
In a hushed, disbelieving tone she read the title of the music, “Sweet Lauralynn. By Brandon Carmichael Masterson. July 11th, 1863. The Captain wrote this song?”
“No wonder that old Union Soldier song was so important to Laura. I used to wonder why she was so determined that I memorize it,” Brant whispered.
“Now, you know,” Lauryn whispered. Then, looking to the photograph again she said, “Brant…”
“I know,” he agreed, reading her thoughts. “I think we better make a trip over to see your friend, Penny.”
“This is insane, Brant,” Lauryn whispered as Brant knocked on the large oak door of the McGovern house. “What are we doin’ here? It’s just a coincidence. That’s all it is. I’m certain it can’t possibly be anythin’.” But even as she tried to convince herself that Penny’s resemblance to her great-aunt Carissa was purely mischief of nature, she knew. As surely as Brant had told her he knew. Carissa and Penny were somehow related.
“You know as well as I do that it isn’t a mere coincidence, Lauryn,” Brant mumbled seeming to read her thoughts.
Lauryn could hear approaching footsteps emanating from inside Penny’s home. A moment later, the door opened to reveal none other than Penny McGovern standing before them.
“Lauryn! Mr. Masterson,” she greeted in her delighted, friendly manner. “Whatever brings the two of you to be knockin’ on our door?”
“Um…um…” Lauryn stammered. She felt Brant’s hand at the small of her back encouraging her.
“May we come in for a moment, Miss McGovern?” Brant asked.
“Well, of course, silly ducks! Come on in.” Penny smiled, obviously very pleased at a visit. “Mama’s out just now, and Daddy and Jeffrey are down sellin’ horses…so I do hope it was me that the two of you were hopin’ to find at home.”
“Actually,” Brant began taking the seat in the parlor Penny gestured for him. “We do want to talk to you.”
Penny raised an eyebrow. “My. This does sound serious! And dear Lauryn…you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Brant chuckled and shook his head at the irony. It was Lauryn who finally held the old photograph out for Penny see. Penny cocked her head to one side, clearly puzzled, and took the photograph.
“This is a beautiful photograph, Lauryn!” she exclaimed. “Why…where ever did you…” She stopped, and Lauryn held her breath. “Would you look at that,” Penny giggled with delight. “Do you know how very few photographs we have of Granny McGovern when she was young? Where did y’all come across this?”
Lauryn was overcome and put a hand to her temple. “You mean…you mean you recognize someone in that photograph, Penny,” she whispered.
“For pity’s sake! Of course, I do!” Penny held up the photograph and pointed directly to the image of Carissa O’Halleran. “That’s my Granny Carry. Don’t tell me y’all don’t see the resemblance she and I share?”
“Oh, we see it, all right,” Brant mumbled.
“My stars!” Penny sighed looking at the photo once more. “Just look at her! As young as springtime.” She smiled and studied the photograph a moment longer. Then she asked, “Who are these other people? I had no idea Granny stood in a weddin’!” Penny quirked an eyebrow. “Still, they look familiar. As if I’ve seen them somewhere before.”
“The little girl…there…” Brant said pointing to Virginia. “That’s Virginia O’Halleran Kensington. Lauryn’s Nana.”
Lauryn couldn’t speak. She felt as if she might swoon, if the truth be told. Carissa had lived! Obviously she had married and had a family. That would make Penny her cousin!
“What?” Penny gasped. “You mean your Nana and my Granny knew each other way back? Why that’s wonderful, Lauryn!” Penny giggled with delight and squeezed Lauryn’s hand affectionately.
“Actually, Penny,” Lauryn whispered. “Carissa O’Halleran…was my Nana’s older sister.”
“Her sister?” Penny repeated. “But…that can’t be, Lauryn. I would certainly have known that.”
“Are you sure that’s your grandmother?” Brant pressed. “Are you positive?”
“Yes! I know this is her!” Penny insisted. “And anyway, look there…at her wrist. She still wears that same bracelet to this very day. Why didn’t I know any of this? I don’t think anyone knows of it.” Penny continued to stare at the photograph, as if it would speak back to her and explain.
“What do you know about your grandmother?” Lauryn asked. “Will you tell us about her?”
“Why?” Penny seemed suddenly very defensive. “I can tell there is more to this than y’all are tellin’ me.” She inhaled deeply and then looked directly at Lauryn. “You tell me what you want to know about her…why you don’t already know about her…and what I don’t already know about her.”
Brant, however, was impatient. He snatched the photograph from Penny. “This is Virginia O’Halleran,” he began to explain rather roughly, pointing to Lauryn’s Nana. “This is Carissa O’Halleran.” Again, he pointed to the image of the young woman in the photograph. “And this…” he said, lowering his voice. “This is their sister, Lauralynn O’Halleran.”
Penny frowned for a moment but then her face brightened revealing her sudden understanding. “Lauralynn? The Lauralynn? The one they never found? I thought she looked familiar.”
“Yes,” Brant sighed, tossing the photograph onto the sofa in frustration.
“We’re thinkin’ that maybe your granny knows somethin’ about her…about that day she disappeared,” Lauryn confessed.
Penny frowned. “Why would Granny know?”
“They were sisters, weren’t they?” Brant growled.
“I never knew that before now. And I’m sure there’s a reason for it.” Penny was close to tears. Lauryn could see the moisture heavy in her eyes. “Would you like to tell me what that reason was?”
“Are you certain you want to know,” Brant asked gruffly.
“Brant, be patient,” Lauryn said softly. Brant sighed with impatience.
“Tell me,” Penny demanded. “Just tell me what you know, Lauryn.”
“It’s not…it’s not a very flatterin’ story, Penny,” Lauryn warned. She adored Penny! They had been friends as long as Lauryn could remember. It upset her that she would have to tell her long-time friend such a tale.
Once again, Brant buffered the pain for Lauryn by telling the tale himself. “Lauralynn fell in love and married a man from Knoxville,” he began suddenly patient and in a very compassionate manner. “Brandon Masterson….my great-uncle. Carissa had fallen in love with Brandon as well and was apparently very envious. She…she tried to put a wedge between Brandon and Lauralynn.” Lauryn looked to Brant lovingly, grateful for his tact and sensitivity to Penny’s feelings for her grandmother. “It was bad enough that old Kiel O’Halleran disowned Carissa…banished her from the family. The old O’Halleran family bible has an entry… Carissa O’Halleran born June 20, 1847-died. It had been assumed all these years that she died at birth. But Lauryn and I have been going through letters and talking to people and we know she lived. It’s obvious in just looking at you.”
The Fragrance of Her Name Page 35