by Jessica Wood
“Why do you say that?”
“Well, you were one of the few people who seemed to stay at work until ten or eleven at night every single night. You had told me that you had bumped into Connor a few times in the elevators while you were leaving the building late at night. After a while you guys were having dinner breaks together in the conference room several evenings every week. That’s when he really started to pursue you. You told me that he asked you to join him for dinners and drinks outside of the office on several occasions. But in the beginning you kept saying no because you thought it was inappropriate. You also seemed to have reservations about dating in general. You seemed to want to consume yourself with work and nothing else. I think it was your own way of grieving over the loss of your mother.”
I frowned at the mention of my mother and I wished desperately that I could remember her.
“Anyway, Connor didn’t give up. You have to give the man some credit. He was certainly persistent and he kept wooing you. And after some time, you finally realized that there was something there between the two of you that you couldn’t deny. So you finally budged and agreed to go on a date with him. But before you did, and with your insistence, you guys went through the proper channels with the human resources department and signed some forms that disclosed your potential personal relationship.”
“That’s good.” I felt a sense of relief wash through me after hearing Anna’s recount of how I started dating Connor.
“So you see, sweetie, you have nothing to worry about.” She cocked her head and studied me. “Were you really worried?
I looked at her and nodded sheepishly.
“Sweetie, you have nothing to worry about! Connor is great to you. Do you know he was basically living in your hospital room the week you were in your coma, waiting for the moment you’d finally wake up?”
“He was?” I thought about Connor and smiled at how lucky I was to have him in my life.
“Darling, that man loves you to pieces!”
Just then, a memory flashed before my eyes.
I was standing at the front entrance of a nail salon.
“O.M.G.! You’re engaged?” Anna squealed the minute she saw me walk inside the salon. How she was able to spot my engagement ring within the first second of entering the salon is beyond me, I thought as I looked down at the breathtaking, sparkling rock weighing down my left ring finger.
She grabbed my hand eagerly and pulled it up to her face, studying the ring closely. “Damn. Not bad, Connor. Now this is what an engagement ring should look like.”
I laughed. “You don’t think it’s a bit too flashy?” I looked at her, waiting for her approval.
“For the future Mrs. Connor Brady, one of the richest and youngest CEOs in the U.S.? No, this will do perfectly.” She looked back at the ring, mesmerized by it. “It’s gorgeous.” Finally pulling her eyes off the ring, she looked up at me, grinning ear to ear. “So how do you feel?”
“Happy, but still a bit in shock to be honest. I wasn’t expecting it at all.”
“I knew it was bound to happen! That man loves you to pieces!”
“Yeah, you’re right. So you don’t think it’s too soon?”
She didn’t seem to hear me as her gaze went back to my finger. “O.M.G. Let me get some photos of it.”
Before I could protest, Anna had already pulled out her phone and was snapping away at the ring.
I giggled. “Why are you taking photos of it? I don’t know if I want it up on Facebook or Instagram.”
“Why do you always have to be so modest, Liv? Sometimes you gotta flaunt what your mama gave yah! And in this case, flaunt that ginormous rock that your rich, powerful fiancé gave you.” She continued to snap away.
“Come on, Anna. You know I’m not into posting this kind of stuff on social media.”
“You and your modesty, Liv.” She rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry. I wasn’t actually planning on posting these anywhere.”
“Oh? What are you doing with them?” I eyed her suspiciously, knowing when she was scheming something.
She laughed. “I’m going to figure out a way for Rich to see them while I’m gushing over your ring to him. If that isn’t a hint, I don’t know what is.”
“Liv?”
Suddenly the salon disappeared and I was back in the living room with Anna.
“Did you say something?” I asked as I rubbed my head.
“Yeah. I called your name, but you looked like you were spaced out. Are you okay?”
I smiled. “I’m okay. I just had a flashback of us.” Excitement ran through me as another memory—a happy one—filled my near-empty mind.
“Oh?” Her eyes lit up. “What did you remember?”
“It was us—when I met you in the nail salon and you saw my ring for the first time.”
“Now that was a great memory to get back!”
I laughed at Anna’s genuine excitement for me, a level of excitement that rivaled my own. I instantly knew why we were best friends and why I must have loved her so much.
“Damn, Liv. It’s just so great to finally see you! You have no idea how much I’ve missed you in the last two weeks.” She reached for my hands and squeezed them. “I had just left for my business trip when I heard that you had woken up from your coma. I just got back into town and had to see you right away. You know, I had visited you in the hospital after your accident when you were still in your coma and it was so difficult to see you lying there completely motionless…” Anna’s voice cracked.
Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at me. I felt touched by her sincerity. I wished I could remember her. “Were you there that night…when it happened?”
She nodded. “It was horrible. I can’t believe how fast it had all happened. I remember that I had been talking to you maybe only twenty minutes before your accident. You had gone to look for Connor in one of the other rooms and then less than half an hour later I heard all the sirens.”
“Oh really?” There was something about what she had just said that bothered me, but I wasn’t sure what.
“Yeah, it was your engagement party, and probably the most fabulous party I’ve ever attended. Everyone who’s anyone was there. And honey, you were so beautiful that night. You looked so happy.”
“I was?” I looked at her wistfully, wishing that I could remember being as happy as she’d remembered me to be.
“You and Connor looked like you were on top of the world together.” She shook her head as she thought back to that night. “I’ve never seen Connor look so happy and then so devastated before in the same night.”
“Did you see me after…after I was hit?” I felt my chest constrict as I imagined what it felt like to be hit by a car.
“Only briefly from a distance. I was inside when it happened and I didn’t know what had happened until I heard the sirens outside. By the time I ran out, the area was blocked off and all I could see was Connor by your side with two paramedics putting you on a stretcher. I will never forget the look on his face. I’ve always seen him calm and collected. But that night…he was as white as a sheet and sick with worry.”
Tears cascaded down my face as I pictured the scene in my mind. I imagined how it must have felt to be in Connor’s position, to watch the one you love being taken away like that. My heart ached at the thought.
I thought about everything Anna had just told me about Connor and our relationship together and it was then that I reached for my phone and sent Connor a text.
Me: Hi. Do you mind if we sleep in the same bed tonight?
To my surprise, he immediately responded back.
Connor: Really? Of course we can, but are you sure you’re okay with that?
Me: Yes. I know this must be hard for you too. I think being in the same bed with you could help me with my memories.
Connor: :) I agree. I’ll let Debra know.
Me: Could we take things slow though?
Connor: As slow as a snail if that’s what you need. ;)
Me: Haha. Thank you.
As I put away my phone and turned back to my conversation with Anna, I felt a renewed sense of hope. I’m so lucky to have an amazing fiancé like Connor. I need to do everything I can to remember him.
CHAPTER THREE
“What do you think, Liv?” My dad lifted me up from the ground so I could get a better look at the house in front of us.
My tiny index finger pointed at the light blue house surrounded by a white picket fence. “Daddy! That’s Barbie’s house.”
My mom laughed as she beamed at me and swung her arms around us for a bear hug. “Liv, this is our new house, honey. Isn’t it just beautiful?” She turned back toward the house, her eyes sparkling with excitement.
I let out a giggle as I saw the happiness on both my parents’ faces. “Really? Do I get my own room like Barbie?”
“Yes, you do.” My dad chuckled and playfully dotted my nose with his index finger. He then leaned over and kissed my mom. “Are you happy?”
My mom gave a reassuring nod. “Very. Are you?”
“I can’t be any happier than I am now when I have the two most important things in my life here by my side.”
“Yeah.”
I noticed some of the glimmer in my mom’s eyes dissipate and I frowned and wondered why she wasn’t as happy as she was just a second before.
My dad seemed to notice it too. I watched as he gently caressed my mom’s face. “Baby, this will be a new beginning for me, for us.”
She nodded in agreement as tears welled up in her eyes. “You promise?”
I watched as my dad pulled out a small green coin from his back jean pocket and held it out before us. “It’s been three months, baby. I promise you that I won’t touch that stuff again.”
My hands reached for the shiny green coin. “Me.” My fingers curled and uncurled in the air as I tried to grab at my dad’s hand.
My dad chuckled as he handed me the coin. “This isn’t a toy, Liv.”
“I know, Daddy. It’s money, not a toy.” I looked up at him, feeling proud that I knew coins were called money.
“No, it’s not money,” my mom explained as her eyes were trained on my dad. “It’s much more important.”
I flipped the coin in my hand and studied the indentations on both sides. I frowned when I noticed that this coin was different. It didn’t look like the coins I’d played with before. This one didn’t have an old man’s face on it like all the other ones had. I looked back up at my dad for answers.
“It’s called a sobriety chip, honey.” His voice was controlled as he kept his eyes on my mom.
“Your daddy’s been good for three months now, Liv. So he gets the green chip.”
“Three?” I stared at them as my parents shared a look that I didn’t understand. “I’m three. Do I get one too?”
They suddenly burst into laughter, and I giggled with excitement when I saw the happiness return to my mom’s eyes.
“No, but you get something so much better, honey.” My dad put me back onto the ground. “You get this new house. You wanna see your room?”
“Yeah, I do!” We walked hand in hand across the sidewalk. I swung my dad’s hand in delight as we approached the front of the house. I looked with wide excited eyes up at the large, pretty house in front of us. This was so much better than our one-bedroom apartment.
Just then laughter coming from the house next to ours caught my attention. My eyes lit up as I saw two kids screaming and giggling in delight inside a treehouse on top of a large tree growing in the front yard next door.
“Daddy! Look!” I pulled down on my dad’s jeans to get his attention before he disappeared into the house.
“I know, Liv. There are a lot kids in this neighborhood.” My mom beamed at me as she saw the excitement in my eyes.
“Are we really going to live here, Mommy?”
“Would you like that?”
I nodded eagerly as I looked at the girl and the boy having a tea party in the treehouse. A grin spread across my face so wide that my cheek muscles started to hurt. The apartment building we had lived in didn’t have any other kids. I stayed home and played with my mom most days. So besides the occasional play date with her friends’ kids or going out to do errands with my mom, I never really got to see any other kids.
“Daddy?”
He looked at me as he stood in front of the open door.
“Can we stay here forever?”
He chuckled. “As long as you’d like, sweetie.”
I clapped my hands together in delight. “Today’s the best day of my life!” I looked back at the two kids in the treehouse and yelled after them. “Hi! I’m Olivia! Do you wanna be friends?”
The two kids didn’t seem to hear me as they continued to scream and giggle in delight.
My parents laughed as I waved my excited arms at them, trying to get their attention. “Come on, honey.” My dad reached for my hand. “Let’s see your room first. You’ll have plenty of time to make a lot of friends here.”
“Really?”
He flashed me a smile full of promise and nodded.
I beamed back and took his hand.
I gave one last glance at the kids in the treehouse and grinned. Today was really the best day of my life.
My eyes fluttered opened as a beam of morning light hit my face. I drew in a long, deep breath as I allowed this new memory to sink in. Liv, this is an important memory. Please don’t let me forget this one. Tears streamed down my face as I replayed the scene in my head, hoping that I could lock it away deep inside my mind so that I would never lose it again.
It’d been two weeks since I left the hospital, and this was the very first memory I’d had of me with my parents. This was the very first memory I’d had where I actually saw what they’d looked like. This was the very first memory I’d had where they’d looked happy and in love.
A gentle rustling shook me out of my thoughts and I felt Connor’s protective arms pull my waist closer into his chest. My body reflectively stiffened at his touch and I had to remind myself to relax. Even though I couldn’t remember many memories of him, he was no stranger. He’s your fiancé and you’re supposed to love him, I reminded myself. I desperately wished all my memories of him would return so I could remember our life together, so I could remember my feelings and love for him.
“Hey, good morning,” he groaned as he opened his eyes and yawned. He moved toward me and brushed away a stray hair from my face as he studied me. “How’d you sleep?”
I met his warm hazel eyes and smiled. “Good. How about you?”
“Great now that you’re here beside me.” He pushed himself up and positioned his body over me. “You know, I just couldn’t get a good night’s rest the two weeks you weren’t here with me.”
I looked up at him and beamed. A wave of nerves ran down my body as he leaned down and kissed me gently. My fingers combed through his thick brown locks as I kissed him back, trying to let myself get lost in the moment. His mouth was gentle and slow as his tongue parted my lips and began to explore me. I let out a low moan as I felt his hands move under my camisole and greeted my breasts. My body immediately reacted to his touch, and it was clear that he knew how to turn me on. I gasped as I felt his hardness press down against my panties, telling me that he was already ready for me. His lips slowly moved down my neck, along my collarbone, and down to my breast, where they took residence. I reflexively arched my back against his hungry mouth as he eagerly licked and sucked on my nipple, causing it to harden within seconds. Everything felt familiar yet new, and I felt dizzy and confused by the mixed bag of emotions that ran through me. I forced my eyes closed and tried to focus on nothing else but the way his body touched and excited mine.
But as I felt his hand reach to pull down my panties, my eyes flew open and I panicked. “Connor…” My body stiffened as I reached for his hand, stopping him from going any further. He pulled his mouth away from my nipple and met my eyes. He tried to hide the
disappointment, but it was there, as plain as day, painted all over his face. “I’m sorry. I’m…”
“—Just not ready,” he finished my sentence. He immediately moved off my body and sat at the edge of the bed.
I looked away, consumed with relief and guilt that I wasn’t about to have sex with him. “I’m sorry. It’s just that…all this is so new to me. I feel like I’ve only known you for two weeks.” I looked back at him, hoping he could hear the anguish in my voice. “I desperately wish I could remember everything.” I sat up and grabbed both of his hands and held them to my chest. “Please look at me.”
He met my eyes and I saw the pain in them. “I know, Liv…I’m really trying to be patient.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”
I shook my head. “No. You haven’t pushed me. You’ve been more than understanding and patient with me over the last two weeks, and I’ve really appreciated it.”
“But you just don’t remember me…” His voice trailed off and I could hear the hurt laced in his words.
“Connor, my body remembers you. My body is responding to you. I’m…I’m really wet and turned on.” My face grew hot with embarrassment as I heard my own admission.
“Really?” He looked at me hopefully.
I laughed softly. “Didn’t you notice how my body reacted to your touch? Or am I imagining things?” I teased.
He flashed me a warm smile and the pain on his face disappeared.
“Please just give me some time to get to know you again.” I was riddled with guilt knowing that I was breaking this man’s heart each time I denied him, each time I stopped him from making love to me. But as much as I tried to force myself to allow it to happen, to see if it would bring back my memories of him, something inside me stopped me. It didn’t matter how much I tried to convince myself otherwise, this man was a stranger to me. He was the fiancé of the woman I once was, but he was a stranger to the woman I was now.