by Tenaya Jayne
She leaned against the tree and stared at the house, trying to process. Tears filled her eyes again. What kind of madness was this? It was a mistake. Nothing about it was right. Why would Destiny pair her with the one person she truly hated? He hadn’t killed Selena, but it was his fault she was dead. He was the personification of everything she hated about men. He was the poster child of cruelty and conceit.
Okay, she was going to analyze it pragmatically… right now. Really. Oh, come on, she pleaded with her brain as it blurred with the memory of them together in the garden. Goosebumps covered her, head to toe. Shivers pricked and rolled inside her body as well. She closed her eyes, flushed with heat. What had they done to each other? It was equal. It hadn’t been him taking, as much as she would have liked to blame him, she couldn’t. He wasn’t in any more control than she had been.
She blushed, even though she was alone, remembering she moved first, cutting his shirt off him. How could she go on now? Physically anyway? Nothing would be able to rival that experience sexually, ever again, no way. She frowned and shook her head. That was wrong. Sex was the wrong word…The physical act was an extension of their souls mating, their bodies conduit for the light and heat they shared.
She pushed off from the tree and continued home, his words in her head. Let’s just get through the next few days…
She didn’t realize how different she already was. Her spirit had been so fractured with grief before. Now she was stronger, replenished, changed. All kinds of pissed off, heartbroken in a new way, and ashamed of herself. She must have some type of serious character flaw to be punished like this.
The rain eased to a drizzle as she rounded the corner to her house and her watch pinged. She stepped up on the porch and checked her message, hoping it was Maddox, swearing it better not be him either—and how had he gotten her number?
It was Jaris. Her heart sank twice. First, and stupidly, because it wasn’t Maddox, and second because she felt like a cheating slut. She wanted Jaris. He was the one her conscious brain had picked. His message was an invitation. He wanted to see her again. She wanted to see him. What would that be like? She had to tell him the truth.
Ugh. Her stomach twisted at the thought. She’d begged Maddox not to tell anyone. How long before people knew anyway?
Fear gripped her as she considered what it would mean for her once it was common knowledge. Her life would transform in a way she certainly didn’t desire. People would notice her. Her picture would end up in the media. She would be a part of celebrity gossip. All the love and desire Maddox had from the public would mean she would become the most hated person ever. He was uncatchable, and she was the one who had him.
She’d throw him back, if she could.
Wait! Erin shook herself, angrily. What was she thinking? She wasn’t stuck with this. She could reject him. That was her way forward. That was exactly what she was going to do.
A devious smile parted her lips. She had the power. This was how she would exact revenge for Selena and all the other girls Maddox had treated badly. She would reject him, but not yet. Not until she had tortured him and broken him down to nothing. He would be humiliated and left behind, just as he had done to Selena.
It wasn’t a curse. It was a gift of revenge.
For one second only, she faltered on the thought of rejecting Maddox. It was as simple as making a committed choice. Everyone knew that. All you had to do was truly decide to shut off your mate’s access to your heart and it was over. But everyone knew that was also only just the beginning. Legends and stories as old as Regia itself told of the pain of such an action and that you never actually recovered. As if you cut yourself a mortal wound that killed you slowly every day by small degrees. There were also stories that all of that was bunk. Erin tended to think the latter was true because she wanted to, but also because she knew someone who had rejected their mate for love of another.
She pushed off from the porch and headed to the memorial gardens. She stopped and stared at the young tree next to Selena’s stone. That hadn’t been there before. The leaves danced as the rain fell on them. She touched it gently, immediately recognizing the sensation and the color deep inside. It was the same as her stone. She sat on the wet ground, her heart filling. The gift giver had planted this tree for Selena.
It touched her bruised heart. She wished she knew who it was. It was odd to care so deeply for someone whose identity was unknown. For so many years, the phantom of this anonymous person had comforted her. Thank you so much. I love you. I’ve always loved you.
She placed her hand on the ground in front of Selena’s memory stone and sighed.
“Hey, Selena…You’ll never believe what happened to me,” she said quietly. “It’s so bad, but I’m going to use it to avenge you.”
Anxious energy filled Maddox. Everything was just wrong. Erin should be with him. He figured when other people found their life mates they told everyone they knew it had happened and not to expect to see them for a while. And they would have some time to be alone and get to know each other. That would be natural. Natural for the lucky people whose life mates didn’t hate their guts and basically ran away screaming.
He didn’t know what to do, but he had to do something. If he stayed busy maybe that might help.
He cleaned the whole house from top to bottom, but that was menial, and his mind spun on Erin the whole time. Should he go look for her? No, he shouldn’t, but he wanted to. It would be so easy. He could probably find her with his eyes closed. Was she thinking about him at all? If she was, it was probably just clever ways to hide his body.
He put on a hoodie and stood by the door, indecisive for a while. He didn’t have to talk to her. Didn’t need to bother her. He just wanted to know where she lived. She knew where he lived—it was only fair.
His watch pinged. Was it Erin? Did she even have his number? He frowned, disappointed it was Kendrick.
Has your watch dog left? Damn, I want her more than ever. Never had a girl almost break my wrist before. It was hot.
Melina’s gone. He couldn’t think of anything else to write.
Hey, guess what? I think I found Mystery Girl. I was going to tell you before, but I forgot, and then Melina showed up and kicked me out.
His stomach swooped. He didn’t want Kendrick anywhere near Erin. When? Where?
Is this her? Cause if not, I’m going to call I saw her first.
A picture of Erin came attached to the message. It must have been at the funeral. She obviously wasn’t aware someone was taking her picture, and some guy had his arm around her. He pinched his eyes shut and tried to not grind his teeth.
That’s her. And I saw her first. Mine. He typed.
I don’t know, Dude. This one might be a unicorn for you. I talked to her. Selena was her friend. She’s no fangirl. In fact, she’s nothing like your usual palate. Wholesome. Don’t think she gives easy. Just my observation.
Maddox groaned. He didn’t want to tell Kendrick, but he also really wanted him to shut up about Erin. He decided he couldn’t tell him. Kendrick wouldn’t keep it to himself. Even if he swore not to tell, he would.
Whatever.
What? You don’t want to chase her down now?
No. Like you said, she’s not really my type. Leave her alone. She just lost her friend.
?????? The Hell? Who are you, and where’s Maddox?
I mean it, Kendrick. Leave her alone.
Watch it. Where do you get off giving me orders? You don’t want her. Don’t tell me what to pass on.
Shit. How did he get him to drop it and forget her? Are you partying tonight? Maddox typed.
Dead scene everywhere tonight. Nothing happening. We could start something. I send the word you’re coming out of hiding, and it will happen.
The idea was repugnant. He didn’t want to party. He wanted to be with Erin. That wasn’t going to happen, but getting wasted with the same people as always wasn’t even close to second. But…if he was hammered would that take the
edge off this pain?
He shook his head. No. He wasn’t ready to be in public. The stories about him were running wild and would continue for at least another few days. He was going to continue to do what Redge told him and keep his head down.
Yes or no? Kendrick asked.
No. Too soon. The headlines were only this morning.
I can bring some shit over. Cheer you up. Kendrick offered.
No thanks. I want to be alone.
Fine. I’ll send you pictures of what you missed. Especially the pics of Mystery Girl under me.
He ground his teeth again and took a deep breath. It didn’t matter what Kendrick said. He wasn’t going to get anywhere near Erin.
Later.
He took his watch off and put his hood up before going out. He’d walk for a while and see if he could catch the direction that would lead him to her.
The storm had blown over, and the moon was bright, its haunting aquamarine light shooting down sharply in between the shadows. It was unseasonably cool. He jammed his hands in his pockets and let his connection to her pull him. She didn’t feel that far away. It was too far for his taste, but it seemed she was maybe in Anue and not Paradigm or Halussis. He wandered the empty streets and suddenly stopped dead. She was here, he felt her.
The cream colored house was small and run down, but it still had a measure of charm. He knew this place. The irony made him smile. Did she remember it? That had been the first time he’d ever left an anonymous gift for anyone in the middle of the night. She’d been his first one. Not that he’d seen her at all.
He remembered so clearly, for some reason. Her mother’s obituary had caught his attention, and it stung his young heart. He hadn’t known what else to do, but he left her a sympathy note, some money, and a flower.
He stared at the house for a few minutes before looking down and walking away. He picked up a rock, tossed it in the air, caught it, and wandered to the low end of town. This was all he knew to do to make himself feel better. His wallet was too full. He’d find somewhere to relieve the burden of its contents.
Frustration simmered under Kendrick’s cool exterior. Maddox wasn’t playing along with his plans, at least not at the moment. He considered how to improvise to please his mother and keep things moving forward. Tonight would have to be minimal damage. Tomorrow night would be a killer, whether Maddox did what he wanted or not.
He moved all the most damning pictures he could find of Maddox in his own watch and sent them to his media contact. Whatever they chose to use would be edited so it looked like the pictures were new, right after Selena’s funeral. It would break first thing in the morning and keep the spin going.
Ten
Early the next morning, Melina found herself yet again banging on Maddox’s front door. She hoped it rattled a nasty hangover. He deserved to suffer, and she was going to serve him some more pain as soon as he opened the door.
The door swung open, and he stood there, clear eyed with an anxious look on his face that fell the second he laid eyes on her.
“Oh, hey, Mel. Come in.”
Taken aback she scowled and walked in. “Were you expecting someone?”
“Uh…no.”
“Didn’t look that way.”
“What are you doing here?” he asked. “It’s pretty early.”
“I…The news…”
“I haven’t looked. What now?”
“Oh, you know, just really ugly stuff. Pictures of you and your friends partying last night. They’re saying you’re a heartless bastard who celebrated right after Selena’s funeral and disrespected her family and her memory.”
“What?” He pulled the headlines up on his watch and grimaced. “This is bullshit. I didn’t go out last night. Those pictures are from months ago.”
“No one will believe you. There are accounts of your actions last night by witnesses.”
“Yeah. Paid off liars.” He looked into her eyes. “Someone’s creating this.”
She crossed her arms.
“You believe me, don’t you?”
“Yeah. But only because I can see you’re clean.”
He looked back at the headlines. “Who do you think would do this?”
She laughed darkly. “You have as many enemies as you do admirers, M. Brokenhearted exes. Jilted boyfriends of girls you stole away from them. Just psycho fans. Could be anyone. They’re not saying you did anything criminal; it’s just really bad optics. Regardless, do you have an alibi?”
“No. I was alone.”
“I’m going to have to start babysitting you. We’ll have to go out and be seen doing nothing but wonderful stuff. Make sure this shit can be refuted by other eyewitnesses.”
“You’re so good to me, Mel. I don’t deserve it.”
She smirked. “Don’t worry, I’m keeping an account. Your bill will come due.”
He chuckled and hugged her. He thought about telling her about Erin. He needed to tell someone. And she would keep his confidence. It wouldn’t be breaking his word to Erin to not tell anyone if he shared it with Melina.
“Something happened to me yesterday. I need to tell someone about it. Will you promise to keep it secret?”
She nodded.
The rain slid down Erin’s shoulder blades in thin lines. Shivers lifted on her heated skin as Maddox’s hands smeared the water over her back. He blurred, came into sharp focus, and then blurred again. His eyes trapped her. Nowhere to hide. He saw everything in his beautiful, brooding, grey-green eyes. She tried to push him away and saw her hands only pull him closer. Leave me alone…I hate you. Touch me more. Fill me up. Take me higher…I wish you were dead.
Erin woke on a moan. She lay in bed for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling, on the verge of tears. She rubbed her hands together trying to massage the pain away. All the incredible light and heat that ran along her veins ached now. She would do her best to ignore it. She could manage through it. Perhaps it would ease over time if she didn’t see Maddox again.
Erin pressed her hands to her lower abdomen. She felt bruised inside. The shame came back as she remembered she’d told Selena not to be with him because she’d just end up as one of the many. But what was she?
No. she wasn’t one of the many. She was the one. She was special to him, whether he liked it or not. What they shared was spiritual and beyond either of their control. She groaned and rolled her face into her pillow. She wanted to see him. And she never wanted to see him again.
She got out of bed and went to her dad’s room. She sat on the bed next to him and put her hand on his.
“Dad?”
He roused and blinked at her. “Hi, honey.”
She touched his forehead and felt his pulse. “I think my blood helped a little. Do you feel well enough to get up? I’ll make you breakfast.”
“No. I still feel too weak…When are you going to invite your young man here, so I can meet him?”
“Madd—uh, I mean Jaris. I told him you were too sick.”
“We had a deal, Erin. Invite him.”
“Okay, Dad.”
“I just wish this guy was your life mate.”
She bit down on her lip. “Me too.”
She almost told her dad about Maddox right then. The words were right there, pushing in her throat. Should she? Then he could die feeling happy, and she’d never have to tell him she planned to end it. But she’d have to introduce him to Maddox and she’d have to act pleased….
Nope.
She got her dad some water and went to get ready for the day. She’d go to Halussis and check in at work, even though Journey had given her time off to grieve. And she’d go to Paradigm and drop in on Jaris.
She laid out her clothes and abruptly realized she hadn’t showered after she came home last night. Maddox was still all over her.
She went straight to the bathroom. The water hitting her skin took her right back there. Back to the garden in the rain. She closed her eyes against the memory, but that only made it sharper. She ne
eded him. She’d suffer through it, and she’d deny it, but she needed him. She hoped he was suffering as much as she was.
She got out and stood looking at the clothes she’d laid out on the bed. Today she was going to look hot, or as close as she could come to it. Jaris would want her.
She put on the one pair of jeans she knew hugged her just right and a flouncy, green, sleeveless top. She tousled her hair, put some big hoops in her ears, and finished with a pair of heels.