by Tenaya Jayne
She smirked. “Not a chance. That shocked look on your face was priceless. And we can hold off messing around ever again unless your girl needs another reminder.”
“I appreciate it, but I want her to give him up because she wants to, not because I’ll burn her otherwise.”
Melina narrowed her eyes at him. “Being valiant has its place, but remember, nice guys always finish last. You said you would fight for her.”
“That’s what I’m trying to do.”
“Just make sure you don’t fight too passively. She wants you to want her. Even if she won’t admit it to herself yet.”
“How do you know?” he asked.
“I would if I was her.”
Erin gasped and pulled away from Jaris, fire scorching her lips. It was worse than before. It hurt when she first came to see him, and he gave her a kiss. But this time, he wasn’t kissing her, and her lips burned a quick searing sting. Maddox? What was he doing to her?
“What’s wrong?” Jaris asked. “Every time I touch you, you jump.”
“I’m sorry.” She took a step back from him and turned away.
“Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”
Misery twisted inside her. It wasn’t fair. Tears pushed behind her eyes. “Oh, I have the worst news. I didn’t want to tell you, but I didn’t realize it would be like this. Feel like this. You’re going to hate me.”
“I could never hate you, Erin.”
“I guess we’re about to find out.” Her voice was bitter.
She turned back to him, her shoulder’s squared. “I found my destined life mate.”
“Oh…”
All the blood drained from his face. He sat down and put his head in his hands. She waited, the tears beginning to spill from her eyes.
“Congratulations…I’m happy for you, even if I’m sad for myself. I just found you…” His voice was desolate.
She sat down next to him. “No. I’m going to reject him. I want to be with you.”
“What? That’s crazy, Erin. I mean, I want you, but we did only just get together. You can’t give up your mate for me…The agony—”
“It’s Maddox!” she shouted.
“Oh shit.”
“Yeah! Exactly! After the funeral, I just lost it. My dad is dying, I felt so alone, the roof started leaking. I snapped. I knew he killed Selena. I grabbed a knife and headed to his house. I was going to kill him. I couldn’t get through the magic protections around the place, but he came out and…Oh!” She wailed and covered her face. “I hate him so much.”
Jaris knelt in front of her and rested his hands on her knees. “Did he do it? Did he kill Selena?”
“No. But still, it’s his fault she’s dead, even if he didn’t cut her up. I won’t stay with him.”
“So why haven’t you ended it already?” he asked.
She sniffed, trying to organize her thoughts. Why hadn’t she? She had a reason. “I want to make him suffer first. I want to humiliate him the same way he’s humiliated so many others, and now I have the power to do it.”
Jaris frowned and looked down.
She wiped the tears from her cheeks. “What? Do you think me heartless?”
“No.” He shook his head. “I understand, but is he really as bad as all that?”
“What? You’re defending him?”
“No. I just wonder if the person behind the public persona is more real. I don’t want you with him. Not for a second. But until you end it, how can we be together? I thought infidelity was impossible with life mates.”
She exhaled raggedly. “That’s why I kept jumping when you touched me. It burns.”
“I see…What can I do to help you through this time?”
“Can you come to dinner tonight? I made a deal with my dad. I promised to bring you to meet him. He wants to know someone will care for me when he’s gone. I’m not asking that of you, by the way,” she added quickly. “To take care of me. I can take care of myself. It’s just the way he thinks of it. It literally is the request of a dying man. Please?”
“Of course, Erin. I’ll tell him how I feel about you and that I’ll take care of you.”
“Thank you.” She leaned down and kissed him. She tried to ignore the pain, but after a second, she broke away. The burning was too intense. “I should go. I need to check into work for a while.”
“I’ll be by at dusk?”
“That’s great. Thank you for this, Jaris.”
“Sure.” He smiled, but there was only sorrow in his eyes.
She touched his cheek. “I’m so sorry. Will you give me a few days? I’ll make it right.”
He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. “I’ll wait…but you have to tell me if your feelings for Maddox change.”
“They won’t.”
Erin went to the hub and waited in line for her turn to go to Halussis. Her mind and heart tussled and fought while she stared at her feet. She still had some time off work, but she really needed to see Journey.
A memory of her and Selena waiting right where she stood now thrust into the forefront of her mind. Grief massaged deep into her shoulders, over and over its ghostly fingers rubbed deep into her flesh, leaving brittleness behind.
While he was still at Tesla’s house, everything Erin was feeling hit Maddox in the chest. He clutched at his heart and gasped.
Melina grabbed his hand. “You okay? What’s happening?”
He shook his head and walked away. “I’m okay.”
He went back outside and took a deep breath. It wasn’t what she was feeling that hurt him, it was that he could do nothing to ease it from her. If things were different, he’d go to her. He wanted to. The most he could do was to tell her later that he felt it and wished he could have helped…
Wait. He lifted his head. Was that really all he could do? She could feel his emotions just as he could feel hers. He could feel something for her, send it to her.
Trying to feel happy would seem callous, and he didn’t think it would balance what she felt. It would just be a sharp contrast that would seem jerky. He focused, comfort. Comfort was about joining the person suffering, at least in his mind. Empathy and understanding. He’d never lost a close friend to death. But he had lost someone he loved because they weren’t who he thought they were. That was as close as he could come to it. As much as he didn’t want to rehash something painful, he focused on his memories of his ex-lover, Bess, and how he felt when he learned the truth of her betrayal. Not the anger, but the pain.
Since she wouldn’t let him hold her hand through this physically, he’d have to spiritually.
Eleven
“Erin! Erin!”
She laughed as the kids swarmed around her, hugging her waist and legs.
“We’ve missed you!”
She sat down cross-legged on the floor, letting them pile on her. “Oh, I missed you, too.”
Their smiles and cuddles were sunlight to her heart. She listened attentively to their chatter and played dumb games with them, forgetting her troubles for a while.
“It’s time for your afternoon lessons, children.” Journey came in.
They all groaned dramatically but obeyed and headed off to the school room. Erin wanted to run into Journey’s arms, but she held still, in a state of apprehension as the Storyteller stared at her chest, a look of mild surprise on her face. Then she looked up into Erin’s eyes and smiled.
“Congratulations on finding your life mate.”
Erin grimaced. “You can see that, can you?”
“Of course. It’s helping you through this hard time, you know. Your spirit is stronger.”
“Can you see who it is?”
Journey smirked. “No. But he’s trying to help you right now, sending you feelings to try and ease your pain…You’re lucky. You have a very thoughtful mate.”
Erin rolled her eyes. “He is many things, but thoughtful is not one of them.”
“Hmm…” She gave her a funny look and gestured for Eri
n to follow.
They headed down the hall and through the door to Redge and Journey’s apartments. “Sit down, Erin. I’ll make you some tea.”
She sat at the comfortably worn table. Redge came in and sat down next to her, grabbing a cookie from the plate in the center of the table.
“How are you?” he asked. “Didn’t expect to see you for a few more days.”
“I know. I just needed to be here for a little while. Life is upside-down.”
“Is it your dad?”
“No. I mean yeah, he’s not good, but—”
Journey came back and poured tea for all of them and sat down. “She’s found her life mate, Redge, but she’s not too happy about it.”
“Why is that?” he asked.
“It doesn’t suit. I’m going to reject him.”
“Ah, well. I rejected my own mate, you know. Never regretted it for a second.” He covered Journey’s hand with his own. “Who is it?”
She pursed her lips. “I better go. I need to get home and check on my dad. I’ll be back to work in the morning.”
“No you won’t,” Journey said sternly. “Not yet. If you want to drop in, you’re always welcome, but you aren’t working for a while yet.”
She scampered out the door.
Journey snickered when she was gone, and Redge crossed his arms.
“Who is it?” he asked.
“You’ll never guess…” She paused for dramatic effect. “It’s Maddox.”
He laughed. “You’re right. I never would have guessed that. Knowing Erin, I see why she doesn’t want to keep the connection.”
“I hope she does, though.” Her eyes slid out of focus. “Everyone’s heart has a different resonance. Like music. Until I saw their connection in her heart, I never would have thought mixing his resonance with hers would have worked, but now that I’ve heard it…it not only works, it’s beautiful.”
Redge nodded thoughtfully. “Not many could be strong enough to save him. She is.”
“Yes. And he’s worth saving. I hope she realizes that before it’s too late.”
“I can’t even imagine doing what she’s contemplating. I never connected to my life mate. I didn’t meet her first.”
“Yes. She wants to cut out her own heart because she’s mad.”
“Always was a long temper on that one, despite how warm she is.”
Maddox and Melina went back to his place when the afternoon grew long. The portal hummed inside the smooth little black box on the counter next to Erin’s new watch. Melina put it on her wrist for the third time, holding her arm out, admiring the look of the scrolling band against her skin.
“It’s so pretty. I love how it snakes around my arm.”
“So why didn’t you ask Tesla for one for yourself?”
“I dunno.” She took it off again. “I’d feel like a freeloader.”
“You should feel like an ass.” He smirked. “You know Tesla wouldn’t even blink if you asked.”
“I hate asking for things.”
“That’s because you’re spoiled rotten and you like things handed to you so you don’t have to ask.”
She chuckled. “I’m spoiled? That’s the kettle-pot calling.”
He laughed. “You have that saying screwed up, Mel. But you’re right—takes one to know one.”
He flopped onto the couch and scrolled through his new watch, wondering vaguely if his other new one was still floating around Fortress. He sighed, deleting his list of skanks. Tesla had transferred all of his contacts again, even though he hadn’t asked her to. He didn’t want them anymore. His list went from overflowing, down to just family and a few friends.
Melina’s company really helped distract him, but the hours since he’d seen Erin began to feel like months. His body ached all over, and depression invaded and took over.
“You okay, M? You don’t look so good.”
He rubbed his temples as they began to throb. “I feel sick. How long has it been?”
“How long since when?”
“Since I saw Erin?”
“All day…I think you’re getting separation sickness.”
“Figures,” he complained.
“What are you going to do?”
“I can either go to her and beg, or I can get wasted.”
Melina crossed her arms. “What’s option three?”
“There is no option three.” He closed his eyes.
“I bet we can get her to come to you.”
“How?”
His eyes shot open as Melina straddled him. He grabbed her hips. “No.”
She raised her eyebrows. “I bet it would work.”
“I want her to stop hating me.” He gave her a little shove, and she moved off him with a shrug. “If you keep doing this kind of thing, it’s going to get weird between us.”
She laughed. “Relax. I’m not into you. I love you to death, just not like that. I’m just trying to help. You should trust me.”
“I do, but you’re kinda crazy.”
“Don’t forget it either. And crazy isn’t all bad. Okay, I am not going to let you crawl to her. So, wasted it is.”
“Really? You don’t object?”
“Oh, I object big time, but I’m not going to let you fly alone. I’ll make sure you’re safe when you can’t see clearly or form full sentences. And this might work well on Erin, too.”
“How?”
“No idea. We’ll just have to see.”
“Why are you doing this? I haven’t been that great of a friend to you, especially in the last year and a half.”
She shrugged. “I’m loyal. This whole saga is entertaining as hell, and I don’t have anything better to do.”
He lifted his watch up.
“You’re not messaging that slime ball, Kendrick, are you?”
“I was going to. What? He always has the best shit.”
“I will not tolerate his society. It’s him or me. You choose. He won’t look out for you the way I will. We can go out. Hit the clubs if you want, but just not with him.”
He sighed. There was no way he was going to throw Melina over for Kendrick after everything she had done for him in the last two days.
“All right. You and me.”
“Good choice, boy-o. I’m going to get changed into something killer. I suggest you do the same. This is a date. We need to be seen holding hands and looking cozy for the cameras.”
“You’re evil, Mel.” He said it with deep affection, and she took it as the compliment it was meant to be. “I don’t want to stay out too long. Erin said she’d come back tonight.”
The skin was already growing cold as the blade sliced through the girl’s arm. Trina, or Tracy, he didn’t remember or care much. The only thing that mattered was she’d been with Maddox in the last month. Kendrick meticulously carved Maddox’s name on her the same way he had on Selena.
He laid her out and surveyed the scene. Nothing about it was near as good as Selena because she’d still had physical evidence on her, but Maddox had stopped whoreing for the last few days. He figured he’d snap out of it soon, but Kendrick couldn’t be idle until that happened.
He looked up at the darkening sky. All traces of the girl’s overdose would be gone in two hours. That’s when he could play anonymous tipper and call it in. His watch pinged. Kendrick’s eyes widened with rage as he saw new pictures of Maddox, out and about without him, and Melina cozy on his arm, to boot. What the hell was going on? His insides writhed. Maddox never went out without him, and Melina was supposed to be his, and for once, he wouldn’t accept a hand-me-down. She was perfect because Maddox didn’t touch her. What had changed?
He enlarged the pictures, looking beyond them to figure out where they were…central Paradigm. Why would they be there? Maddox hated the regular night scene there. He narrowed his eyes. The only reason to go there was to be seen. What was he up to? Kendrick needed to finish up with the body and get over there. This was going to mess up his timeline and the false
account of Maddox’s actions and whereabouts he was going to feed the media.
At least Maddox was partying again, and that still made him look like a prick so soon after Selena’s death.