by Lee Rose
“How did you deal with it, Jessy? My dad didn’t die, but I think that’s worse. If he was dead I would know I don’t see him because he can’t. Right now I know it’s because he just doesn’t give a damn and that makes me feel like shit.”
Jessy wanted to cry for this young teen, but she held it in. She pointed to the punching bags hanging from the ceiling. “At first I held it in. Silent screams that I never let out, until I couldn’t take it. I felt like I was going to lose my mind. Tom put some gloves on me and pointed me toward the bag and said—let it out, kid, life ain’t fair and there’s nothing we can do to change that. Take that anger and pain and punch that bag until it all comes out.”
“Did it?” Gabe wanted to know. He turned toward her and looked interested in what she was saying.
She nodded with a smile. “It did. I was in here often, hitting those bags. He had one lowered so I could reach it, and it was mine. It was all I had, Gabe. My dad dealt with his grief by working twenty-four-seven. I didn’t have a lot of friends in school so this was my safe outlet and it can be yours, too. Whenever you need it, it’s here.”
“I know, Jessy.” He sighed. “Sometimes life seems to be too much, you know? I have a hard time shutting my mind off.”
“I have my memories of better times. That’s what I hang on to. Not the sadness of losing my mom. I could focus on the fact that she is gone, but I choose to remember her smiles and how we used to dance in the living room,” she said softly. “My mom was so nice, she always had a smile for everyone.”
“Your dad is gone and he may be an ass for not seeing what a great kid he has, but surely you have some good memories of him?”
Gabe thought for a minute, then smiled. “He used to help me build custom bikes in the backyard. We’d spend his whole day off working on those bikes so I could ride them to school and show off my creation.”
Jessy smiled, glad he had some good memories to hang on too. “Then think of those good times. His mistakes are on his shoulders, not yours. It’s his problems that keep him away, and not because of you, Gabe. How about a good workout?”
Gabe looked at the doorway when he heard the heavy steel doors creak open. “Hey, there’s Blake.”
“Good. He likes to be competitive and blow everybody out of the water. Let’s gang up on him and see if we can beat him. Then we can watch him whine and accuse us of cheating,” she suggested with a wink.
Gabe smiled and high-fived her. He looked more cheerful and Jessy hoped her talk with him helped. He was a good kid that needed a push in the right direction. If Tom hadn’t intervened with her, she would never have discovered an outlet by exercising.
“Hey, Rage.” She stood up and yelled out loud so everyone could hear her challenge. “I have twenty bucks that me and my partner here can break your speed on the punching bags.”
He walked up the bleachers easily, as if they were steps. He was already wearing gym shorts and a white sleeveless T-shirt. He grinned at Gabe and then her and snorted.
“A girl and a kid? Yeah right.”
Gabe laughed, crunching his knuckles. “Afraid, Rage?”
“Let’s go,” he challenged with a cocky grin.
He made his way down the bleachers with Gabe running after him, and Jessy took her time. She could use a good workout, too, and get all her frustration of losing Royce out of her system once and for all.
Chapter 13
Jessy looked over at Martin Lopez, her date for Adam’s fight a few weeks later. He wore jeans and a navy-blue polo shirt. He was a handsome man at twenty-nine, with his wavy black hair and brown eyes and tanned golden skin color.
Blake, Sam, Jackson, and Gabe sat down the row from them, talking to Adam’s parents, who were thrilled to be seated so close to their son. Her dad, Royce, and Tom were in the ring with Adam. The fight would start soon but people were still looking for their seats and settling in. “I’m glad you came with me tonight, Martin. This is probably the weirdest date you’ve ever been on.”
Martin laughed and held her hand. They were seated in the first row, as close to the ring as possible. He gave her an excited grin. “Are you kidding? This is the coolest date I have ever been on. I’m the envy of all my friends.”
Jessy grinned as the lights were dimmed low and they announced the first fight. Rock music blared from the speakers as Mad Dog Miller was announced along with his statistics. The crowd roared with cheers and clapping and Jessy added her own whistles as he threw his gloved fist in the air. He had picked up quite a few fans, thanks to all the publicity she had arranged. She felt so nervous for Adam’s sake. She had spotted Destiny with the press and had waved to the young blonde. Adam had grinned when he spotted her. With all these people cheering them on he was bound to win. Next Jonesey was announced as he entered the ring with his own group of people. It was going to be a tough fight, but with Royce training the men she had confidence Adam would give it his all. She crossed her fingers and sat on the edge of her seat to watch the fight.
The bell rang and her nerves were jumbled from all the anxiety. Martin held her hand and she was grateful for the moral support. They had spent some time talking on the phone before she agreed to a date. Martin knew she wanted to date casually and he agreed. He was newly divorced and wasn’t ready to get all hot and heavy, he told her. She still couldn’t wipe Royce out of her mind and it had been more than two months since their night together. She hoped the longing she still felt for Royce faded away soon.
The bell rang, letting them know round one was about to begin. It was such a violent sport, but luckily she was used to it since she had grew up in it. Each fighter would give it their all with no mercy. Adam and Jonesy fought each other with all they had. The hits were hard and you could see the pain in their eyes, but they kept going. She noticed it was hard for Adam’s mom to watch her son getting hit by such a big fighter as Jonesy. Adam’s dad cheered and yelled with the rest of the crowd. “Get him, Mad Dog!”
Before round two started Jessy asked Adam’s mom if she was doing okay. She smiled, leaning on her husband’s arm. “I’m determined to watch it all. I can’t tell Adam I closed my eyes. Not after he worked so hard.”
In round three Adam took several punches to his rib cage and a few to the face. Jessy leaned on Martin. He put his arm around her while she sent good vibes to Adam. She knew he had the talent to win, but Jonesy was one big guy. Just when it looked like Jonesy might win again, Adam threw a surprise uppercut punch. It landed on his adversary’s jaw and knocked him out. The crowd went wild with yelling and clapping when Jonesy didn’t get up again.
Jessy whistled loudly with everyone in the front row as soon as he was declared winner by the referee. They all wore their Camp Daniels T-shirts, even Gabe. Adam threw his hands up in a fist pump and Jessy turned to Martin and hugged him. She felt his arms slide around her waist. She cupped his cheeks in her hands and planted a deep kiss on his lips. He stood still for a minute, then he relaxed and kissed her back.
When it was over, he grinned. “Wow.”
She laughed with joy. “Sorry if that was too forward, but I’m so happy right now.”
“Hell, anytime you’re feeling happy I hope I am around.” He joined in her laughter. She grabbed his hand and led him to the back locker room, where Adam and the group were gathered. His parents were crying with joy and he was looking ecstatic despite his bruises and swollen eye. Destiny was in the room, too, along with other press members. All were waiting for a post-fight interview. She grabbed Destiny and pulled her in front of everyone. “He’ll be so glad to see you.”
Her cheeks turned pink and she grinned happily. “You think?”
Jessy nodded. Adam gave Jessy a big hug and spun her around, making her laugh.
“Destiny would like to ask you a question.” She laughed when he set her back down.
Adam gave Destiny the first interview, saying he couldn’t have done it without Royce. Royce was asked several questions by different reporters and Jessy stepped out
of the way.
She hugged her dad, who also moved out of the way. He didn’t like cameras shoved in his face so he let Royce handle any interviews. “Adam did it, Dad.”
“I knew it,” he replied with a grin, and hugged Jessy tightly, kissing her forehead. “And you are one fine promoter.”
Tom patted Jared on the back. “We have a good group of boys, Jared.”
“There’s a party at the Blue Moon Lounge,” Jared announced loudly to the crowd after all the press had left. “In honor of Mad Dog Murphy.”
“Do you mind going?” Jessy took Martin to the side so he could hear her over all the loud talking and laughing.
“Not at all. I feel all hyped up, too.” He grinned, holding her hand and pulling her in for a hug. It felt nice to be held and Jessy let herself lean into him for a moment. So what if he wasn’t Royce? She would never have Royce in her life. The sooner she accepted that the better.
* * * *
Royce was still feeling a little pissed at seeing Jessy kiss that Officer Lopez. He was glad Adam had won and he tried to keep his smile on his face and not scowl. People would wonder what was putting him in a lousy mood. How could he say Jessy kissing another man was really pissing him off? He was the one insisting he couldn’t settle down with one woman. yet he hadn’t even attempted to go out on a date or sleep with someone else. He had his chance with Jessy and he let fear stand in the way.
Royce hung back for a moment and let everyone surround Adam with congratulations. Adam was riding a high wave and he deserved it. He was young and hungry to make it to the top. All his hard work had paid off. Royce remembered being there once but it didn’t hurt so much now. He liked what he was doing now and he didn’t miss the pain and injuries after a fight.
Now if only Royce’s personal life would work out smoothly, too. He was tired of denying what he felt for Jessy. He was tired of being stuck in the friend category, even though it was his fault.
Royce watched Martin Lopez put his arms around Jessy’s waist and his hand hung too close to her ass for his comfort. He wanted to be the one holding her and sharing in her joy and relief. He wanted Jessy. He still remembered every second of that night. It had been more than two months and he still woke up hard as rock after dreaming of her. If he didn’t get over his own fears and doubts he would lose her forever. He knew that with certainty. She was beautiful and shined brighter than any star in the sky. He didn’t blame Martin for the besotted look he was giving Jessy. He was pretty sure he looked at her that way too, only he had let his doubts push Jessy away. Didn’t he tell his fighters that it was okay to feel fear but not to let fear rule? Isn’t that what he was doing? He was letting his fears and insecurities make up the rules. So he wasn’t Royce “King” Sanders anymore, but did that mean he had to turn into a chicken shit? Hell no. He was letting his hurt and insecurities dictate his decisions because Trina only wanted to be with a famous fighter in the spotlight. He hadn’t seen her true nature because he had been so blinded by lust. Jessy wasn’t like that and he knew that, he just didn’t want to let himself admit it. Whatever hard obstacles came their way, he would deal with it because this time his prize wouldn’t be a cold gold belt. It would be a hot, desirable, loving woman in his arms. He was determined to win the fight for Jessy.
“Ready to party the night away?” Blake slapped him on the back joyfully. “Everyone is envious we have you in our camp, Royce. You make us better fighters.”
“Nah, I give good advice, but it’s up to you all to work hard and give it your all,” he answered honestly. “Let’s go party because your fight is next and you won’t be having time to party for a while.”
Blake groaned dramatically and went to grab Sam.
Royce watched Martin leave with Jessy. He rode to the party with Jared since Tom opted to go home. All the way there he only half listened to the compliments Jared was throwing his way. His mind was on a pair of green eyes looking at him and dismissing him. Soon they would be showing something different.
Chapter 14
The party was in full swing when Jessy and Martin arrived. They had gone to dinner first since she had been too nervous to eat before the fight. Her dad had reserved a whole section for them and they were all seated in one section. Jessy spotted Adam dancing with Destiny and smiled.
Blake and Sam were at the bar flirting with some young girls. She hated looking for Royce, but she spotted him having a beer and talking to her dad. She was surprised he didn’t have a groupie sitting on his lap. As if sensing her watching him, he turned and looked straight at her. He gave her a semi smile and lifted his beer in a salute.
Martin went to get them some drinks. Jessy moved her gaze away from Royce and on to the crowded dance floor. She had to ignore him. He was not interested in her and no amount of wishing would change that.
She felt a tap on her shoulder and saw Royce with his hand held out. “Dance with me?”
If she was smart she would politely refuse and wait for her date to get back, but obviously she wasn’t as smart as she thought.
Her hand automatically went out for his and he led her to the dance floor. Her heart started racing and she was glad the music was so loud. Otherwise it might be a dead giveaway that she was not in friendship mode. She felt Royce’s hand slide around her waist and just beneath her silky blouse. Just the light touch of his fingers on her bare skin made her body tremble and her stomach flip flopped with excitement. She sighed softly against his shoulder. If only. Two useless words.
“You look beautiful, Jessy, but you always do.” He said the words next to her ear and she could feel his warm breath on her skin. She closed her eyes and inhaled his masculine scent. For one minute she could pretend that Royce wanted her as badly as she wanted him. His shoulder was hard and his body was warm. She fought with herself to not use her tongue to lick the skin of his neck and behind his ear. She squeezed her legs together in a useless attempt to keep the moisture between her legs from seeping out.
She didn’t reply to his statement, but she let her body relax against his. A few minutes of heaven, she deserved this. His arms tightened around her waist. He was a big husky man and he made her feel so feminine and fragile when she knew she wasn’t. She was strong, her dad had made sure of that. What did men see in all those trampy groupies? She may not be blonde but she knew she wasn’t ugly. Was it the easiness of the chase? The cavalier attitude they had toward themselves with no self-respect?
If she was more like them, Royce would still want her, but she could never be so blasé and just sleep with men for no good reason but to say she did it. She sighed and looked at Royce. She really thought she had seen more in his eyes, more than a simple desire, more than a friendly attitude. How could she have been so wrong?
The music stopped and she gave him a friendly smile. She hoped she was doing a good job at masking her desire and need for this man. “Thanks for the dance, Royce.”
He looked down at her with such heat in his brown eyes that her belly had butterflies dancing around inside. She felt dizzy with the wave of desire that hit her. She couldn’t do this again. She cleared her throat and started walking back to her table. Royce held her arm, stopping her from moving.
“Jessy, can we talk?”
“Why? You explained already that you don’t want me, Royce,” she told him, trying to keep the sadness out of her voice. She wanted to sound unaffected but she wasn’t sure she could pull it off. “What else is there to talk about?”
“I never said I didn’t desire you, Jessy. I do.” His voice was clear and firm.
She nodded. She had felt his erection trying to break free from his jeans when he held her close on the dance floor. He desired her, he just didn’t want a commitment. “Yes, but you want a casual one-night stand occasionally and I want more. You don’t want to settle for one woman when you can have variety. You got hurt so now you’re too scared to try again.”
He looked frustrated with her snotty remarks, but she didn’t care. He hurt her d
eeply and she didn’t want to settle for his friendship.
“I know now is not the place too hash this out, but can I call you later?” he asked with a determined look. Too bad he hadn’t used that determination to fight for her from the beginning.
Before she could give him an answer, one of the girls who had been talking with Sam and Blake came up to him and gave him a flirtatious look. “You’re King Sanders? Your friend Rage said you wouldn’t mind giving me an autograph and maybe dancing with me.”
Jessy rolled her eyes and moved away. She headed back to the table. Martin was just arriving himself. “Those guys are pretty funny,” he said, pointing to the group now sitting with Jared.
She smiled. “Yeah, they are. Rage and Steele are like brothers to me. Adam and Jackson are the new guys but so far they are nice, too.”
She grabbed Martin’s hand and the beer. She didn’t want to sit alone. A crowd would help her take her mind off Royce and his little chat on the dance floor.
“Let’s go join them at their table,” she said loudly over the music so he could hear her.
She regretted her words when she saw Royce was there with the young groupie sitting next to him. She sat across from him and next to her dad. Tom had left already, saying it was past his bedtime. Personally, Jessy thought he hated the loudness of the club. She knew her dad would head out soon, too. He usually drank a few beers before heading home.
She ignored Royce completely. She gave Martin all her attention and danced with him and Sam a few times. Royce never asked her to dance again but she felt his eyes on her all night long. Why was he being so confusing? He had made it clear he liked casual sex only. What was left to talk about? She stayed out of his way, only talking to him when it was business.