by Lee Rose
“I need all of you, Royce. I won’t break, I swear.” She had sworn to him. His heart had swelled with excitement until his chest felt like it was going to burst with pressure. He had picked up the pace and buried his face in her neck. He couldn’t even respond to her words. His body had been on fire. Every moan she let out only made the feeling increase. He had never been filled with so many emotions at once. Being inside of her had been amazing and exhilarating. His climax had been huge and overpowering but he would not trade it for anything in the world.
He could still remember how Jessy had rubbed small circles in his back until he fell asleep. In the morning she had left a note letting him know she had to be at work for a meeting. She had signed her name with a cute little heart next to it, and he had panicked. He had convinced himself love and hearts had no place in what he felt for Jessy. Lust and desire and nothing else. Now he would give anything to go back and do things differently.
Chapter 17
Royce woke up to the sound of the phone. He must have fallen asleep on the couch and now his neck ached from the awkward angle he had been in.
“Hello?” he answered groggily, trying to wake himself up.
“Royce. She’s awake.” Royce could hear the happiness in Jared’s voice and he felt his shoulders sag with relief at the news. He wanted to cry like a baby and maybe he would while he was alone.
“I’ll be right there, Jared.” He hung up and jumped in the shower.
It took him forty-five minutes to reach the hospital. Only Jared was in her room. She still looked pale as a ghost but her eyes were open. It was better than the alternative. He felt some of the tension leave his body.
He brushed the hair out of her face and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. He smiled when all he wanted to do was cry like a baby that she was on the road to recovery. “I am so glad you’re awake. You scared the shit out of me, Jessy.”
Her eyes were still droopy, but she smiled. “I scared myself. I reacted without thinking.”
“Well you’re grounded forever,” Jared spoke up, and Jessy smiled. She reached out for her dad’s hand and he gripped it tightly.
“Sorry, Dad,” she whispered weakly, her eyes closing slowly as if she couldn’t stay awake. He looked at Jared with worry. She had so many wires and monitors hooked everywhere and it scared the shit out of him.
“She is on some heavy pain medication,” Jared explained. He must have been here all night. His clothes looked rumpled and he looked exhausted. “The nurse said she will be in and out of it all day.”
“Go home, shower, and change, Jared. I’ll stay right here until you return,” Royce suggested. He wanted some alone time with her. He needed to reassure himself that she would be okay.
Jared gave Royce a serious look. He kept his voice low so it wouldn’t disturb Jessy. “So what is going on between you and my daughter? She told me you wanted no part of her and she doesn’t need your wishy-washy ways, Royce. Don’t get her hopes up for nothing.”
“This has made me realize what a fool I have been. I let my bad experience with Trina color my thoughts for so long. I felt bitter because I was forced to retire when I wasn’t ready and Trina dumped me because I was no longer in the limelight. I told myself one failed relationship was enough,” he replied honestly. “But I am tired of fighting with myself, Jared. Life is too short to spend it in fear of what could happen. I love your daughter and I hurt her. I’ve apologized to her but I think I may have to prove it.”
“I can understand those fears. I never allowed myself to care for another woman because I was afraid of history repeating itself and I knew I couldn’t handle going through it again,” Jared admitted with a sigh. He looked over at his sleeping daughter. “You know Jessy loves you. She does a pretty good job of hiding it, but I have seen her sadness and her valiant attempts to act like everything is okay. Don’t play with her emotions, Royce.”
Royce looked at Jared seriously. “I won’t. I promise. I love her, Jared, and I am going to do everything I can to show her that. When I saw her hit the ground I felt fear like I have never known before. I would willingly have sacrificed my life to save hers.”
Royce put his hands inside his jean pockets to hide his anxiety. “It hit me like a splash of cold water how much I loved her and how I wasted all this time telling myself I was better off alone and away from the possibilities of being hurt and vulnerable. I know she is not shallow like Trina. I just want the chance to show her that I have changed.”
“Then I wish you luck, Royce,” Jared stated and left. Royce pulled the chair closer to her bed. He hated seeing her so pale and still. Jessy was vibrant and full of life. Even though he knew he had hurt her, she had plastered a smile on her face every day for the sake of the people around her. He was relieved he wouldn’t have to fight Jared to get close to Jessy. He had the feeling it was going to be the toughest and most important fight of his life.
* * * *
Jessy was frustrated by her slow recovery. Most of all, she was sick of being stuck in a hospital room. It had been four days and she wanted to go home. They allowed her to walk for short periods of time with a nurse by her side. She was used to being active. The room was filled with flowers and balloons and she had visitors often. Martin had stopped by once while Royce was there, and Royce had been cold and unfriendly with him. Martin seemed amused and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “I think someone has a secret admirer.” Jessy asked Royce to give her a moment alone with Martin. Royce looked like he was going to argue but he turned and left the room. Martin let out an exaggerated sigh of relief. “That man has feelings for you, Jessy, and I see the same emotions in your eyes.”
“It’s complicated,” she whispered.
“If you need a friend to talk to call me but I think my being around may complicate things for you. Don’t let love slip through your hands, Jessy, for whatever reason.” He looked sad and she knew he was still thinking of his wife. She grabbed his hand. “Thank you, Martin. You are a wonderful man who will meet the right woman.” He smiled and kissed her lips lightly. “Bye, Jessy. Take care of yourself.”
Even Gabe and his mom had come by a few times with her dad. Lucia was very nice and had brought her a lot of fashion magazines.
She noticed an attraction between Lucia Martinez and her dad. He looked at Lucia with longing when she wasn’t paying attention, then he would cover it when she looked his way. A few times she had seen the soft way Lucia looked at her father and thanked him for taking Gabe in at the gym.
Jessy liked Lucia and if she had to lay in bed bored, she would have to do some matchmaking, she told herself with a smile. It was time her dad did something besides devote himself to work.
“What’s that mischievous smile about?” A voice startled her out of her daydream.
She turned to see Royce in the doorway. He came by every afternoon during his lunch break, even though she told him it wasn’t necessary. She hated being responsible for delaying Blake’s promotional tour, even though her dad assured her over and over that they were following her schedule to the very letter. Everyone was pitching in, so she wouldn’t worry. She felt blessed with her odd family.
“Nothing, why?” she asked, trying to look innocent. His presence unnerved her. He never spent this much time with her before and it confused her.
“You look like you’re up to something,” he observed, throwing himself down on the chair next to her bed. “It’s a scary thought.”
She would have laughed but she knew laughing made her chest hurt. Breathing made her chest hurt. The doctor assured her she was well on the way to recovery, but she felt every little move she made. She tried to sit up more and winced when it hurt.
“Let me help you, Jessy,” Royce offered right away. He lifted up her pillows and fixed them so she was sitting up.
“Thanks,” she whispered. She could smell his cologne when he leaned down, and she closed her eyes, wishing she had the right to hook her arms around his neck and kiss him until
they both couldn’t breathe.
She still ached for him so much and wondered when it would ever go away. “So how are things at work? Everything okay?”
He nodded and sat down in the chair. “I don’t want you to worry about work, Jessy. Your only job is to get better. Sam and Blake said they will be by later on tonight. Tom is working them to the bone. The gym hasn’t fallen to the ground.”
“I miss being at the gym every day. Sitting here is boring. Then I have to go home and be bored for God knows how long.” She knew she sounded like a whiny little girl, but she wasn’t used to being so still with nothing to do.
Royce grabbed her hand and immediately she felt herself calm down. Why him? Out of all the men in the world, she had to fall for the playboy.
He cleared his throat and looked into her eyes. “What happened that day, Jessy? I told you to stay inside because I wanted you safe.”
“I know, Royce, but when I saw him pull a gun out of his jacket and point it at your back I didn’t think, I reacted. You were busy fighting with the guy in front of you. My only thought was to warn you. I never thought he would turn the gun towards me,” she explained and closed her eyes, remembering that moment. She could not bear to lose Royce. Even if they always remained just friends, she needed him. “Thanks for saving my life, Jessy. I hate that you got hurt, though. Every time I close my eyes I see you falling to the ground. I’m not sure I’ll ever forget that.” She could hear the agony in his voice and she had to blink back tears.
“I’m okay, Royce, as you can tell by my whining.” She gave him a small smile to reassure him.
“I have been doing a lot of thinking about us.” His voice was hesitant and she waited patiently for him to say thank you again. She didn’t want his gratitude. The one thing she wanted from him was the one thing he was not capable of giving her. Love.
“Jessy, I know I messed things up between us. I let the past rule me and that was wrong of me. Do you think you could give us another chance?”
Jessy sighed. She wished she could believe that he really had a change of heart. It was probably just the trauma of seeing her shot that was making him talk this way. Maybe he was grateful and mistook that for real feelings for her.
“Royce, I think you feel a lot of gratitude and maybe some guilt, even though it wasn’t your fault. I made the decision to run out there and I don’t regret it for one minute. I don’t want you to be with me out of misplaced guilt or gratitude. If you had feelings for me, you would never have flirted with that groupie. Not after our night together.”
“I didn’t sleep with her, Jessy. I sent her away after you left the party. I went home by myself and sat by the phone, hoping you would call to tell me off,” he admitted. “I felt ashamed but I was too stubborn and stupid to admit I had feelings for you.”
“I have pride too, Royce. You made your decision loud and clear,” she stated firmly. She couldn’t give in. Later when she was better and he got over his guilt, he would want his freedom. She did not want to open her heart up for more pain. “Once I’m on my feet again and things are back to normal, you’ll regret making a commitment to me, and I can’t face being hurt again.”
He stood up and leaned over her bed. He pushed the hair out of her face and leaned down to kiss her lips lightly. “I guess I can’t expect you to believe me right away, but I’ll prove it to you, Jess. I got to get back to work. Just think about us, Jessy.”
After he left she lay there wishing she could believe his feelings had changed, but she was too scared to reach out for him again. Being vulnerable hurt. It was a scary feeling knowing someone else held the power to crush you in their hands. How did people fall in love and survive? Love was scary and delicate.
Chapter 18
Jessy had been home for three days now and she could finally move without wincing in pain. She had convinced her dad to bring her laptop home so she could do some work from home using her cell phone. Lucia had come by a few times and she really enjoyed talking to her. Because she worked so hard to keep a roof over their heads, it left Gabe with too much time on his hands to get in trouble. She confessed that since Jessy had that big talk with him she had not gotten any phone calls from the school complaining about his behavior. She was starting to see a big change in his attitude.
“I am so proud of the change in him. He is not so bitter these days, Jessy. It was hard on both of us when my ex-husband walked out. I was hurt but I couldn’t grieve because I had to deal with how I would support us. Gabe wants that approval from another man. It breaks my heart that his dad is not around to fulfill that craving,” she confessed tearfully.
Jessy had reached out her hand to Lucia. The woman looked so sad and Jessy hated to see that, especially since Lucia was genuinely nice. “I get it. I miss my mom so much when I need a woman to talk to. I’m drowning in male testosterone. But I love my dad and I am grateful that he tries so hard. I’m sure Gabe feels like that too, Lucia. He is a good kid.”
Lucia nodded. “Thank you, Jessy. You and your father have been kind and gracious. I only wish I could somehow pay him and you back.”
An idea formed in her head and she smiled. “Well, since I am not allowed to move around much, I wonder if you would mind making us dinner one day. My poor dad has been eating sandwiches and soup all week. Those are the two things he can make by himself. I was forced to learn how to cook when I couldn’t stomach another ham sandwich.”
Lucia laughed and her smile got wider. She seemed to like the idea very much. She had mentioned more than once how much she loved to cook but never bothered with her busy schedule. “Does he like Mexican food?”
“Like? Try love,” Jessy answered truthfully. “We have lots of food here so all it would take is your time.”
“I would love to do this, Jessy. How about this Thursday? I am off that day.”
Jessy nodded. “Then the four of us could get to know each other better. I really like Gabe a lot and so does my dad.”
* * * *
Tonight was Thursday and her dad was running around looking nervous. She knew that was a sure sign he liked Lucia, too. Her dad was not the type to ever worry what someone thought about him or care about how he dressed. He was around sweaty males all day and dressed casually.
Jessy sat on the couch, watching her dad look in the mirror for the hundredth time. He had combed his dark hair so many times already she was surprised it hadn’t all fallen out already. “Dad, you look fine. Quit fussing. You’re a handsome man.”
He smiled and looked down at his clothes. His jeans were his newest pair and still dark. His polo shirt was green and helped bring out his hazel eyes. “Should I have dressed up more?”
“No,” Jessy answered, looking down at her matching pale-pink outfit. “I’m wearing my favorite sweatpants and matching sweatshirt. If you got all dressed up and Lucia didn’t you would make her feel bad.”
He sat down on his favorite recliner and took a deep calming breath. “She called earlier and said she had the main dish cooked. Chicken enchiladas.”
“Offer to help her, and me and Gabe will stay here and watch TV. It will give you time to get to know each other,” Jessy suggested with an innocent smile. “It was so nice of her to do this for us. I for one am excited.”
“I’m an old man. Why am I even thinking romantic thoughts?” he muttered to himself.
“Dad, you’re still young. Just relax and let it flow. I think Lucia likes you, too,” Jessy advised him.
“Yeah?” He looked hopeful and Jessy nodded.
He jumped when the doorbell rang and went to answer it. Gabe came into the living and threw himself on the floor next to Jessy.
Jared was carrying a large silver tray and smiling at something Lucia was saying. They ignored them and Jessy laughed. “Oh sure, us kids will be okay out here,” she yelled out loud.
She heard her dad laugh and yell out, “Behave, brat.”
“I rented this action movie,” she told Gabe, holding up the cover. He read
the back cover. “Oh yeah. I wanted to see this.”
“Good. Put it on then.” She got comfortable with all her pillows around her, but before the movie even started the doorbell rang again.
“I’ll get it,” Gabe offered, running to the door. “Hey, Royce.”
Jessy groaned. Royce hadn’t had a chance to come and see her in the last few days. She had been grateful for the space to think. She tried to forget all about that conversation in the hospital because it confused her. She could hear Gabe talking excitedly about the movie.
Royce winked at her and moved her feet over so he could sit down, even though her dad’s recliner was empty. He placed her feet on his lap. “I’ve been wanting to see this, too. Jared invited me to dinner and how could I refuse the chance to spend some time with my favorite girl?”
Gabe looked at them curiously. “Are you two dating?”
“Yes,” Royce answered, and Jessy grumbled no.
Gabe laughed. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
Jessy stayed silent although her heart reacted by thumping loudly to his firm yes. She wanted to be his so bad but she was afraid to hope and get her feelings hurt.
The three of them watched the movie in silence. Jessy found it hard to concentrate when Royce ran his hand up and down her leg underneath the pants. He lightly traced patterns on her bare leg and she wondered if he even realized it. The little tingles shot through her body and made her pussy tingle with needs and wants that she should not be thinking of right now.
Jared and Lucia came out toward the middle of the movie. He offered Lucia the recliner and sat on the floor next to Gabe. It had a lot of action scenes and held their attention.
Once the movie was over Lucia announced dinner was ready. Everyone moved to the dining room. Royce stayed behind to help Jessy off the couch. Once she was standing, she thanked him. She could walk but with slow steps.