by Vicki Green
“What took you so long?” She looks down at Ditto and rubs his belly. “He was a good boy and went potty outside then we played a bit in the grass. It’s too chilly out though so I brought him back in.”
I walk over and sit down in front of her, leanin’ over and pettin’ Ditto. “Sorry. I hope you don’t mind but I’d bought him a bed and some toys. I took them up to your room. I should have asked first. I didn’t mean to go in there without your permission, I wasn’t thinkin’.” I squeak the toy in my hand and Ditto’s ears perk up. I toss it on the floor, and he runs after it.
When I look at her, she seems to be holding her breath, but then releases it. “It’s okay. Technically, it is your room, your house. I have nothing to hide.” She smiles but it doesn’t reach her beautiful eyes. Nothing to hide? Really?
“Technically you’re right but while you’re here, it’s your room and you should get the respect of no one enterin’ without your knowledge. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” She seems to let another breath out slowly and relaxes. “But know, I didn’t see anythin’ or touch anythin’.” I lie. I’m not startin’ this “friendship” off very well by lyin’ to her. Why don’t I just come out and ask her? Man up, Colby. No, I’m afraid I’ll run her off or end her trying to trust me really quickly. I can’t do that, but I hate deceivin’ her.
She reaches over and puts her hand on my arm, her soft skin on mine causes tingles to move all the way down through my fingers. “It’s okay, Colby. I’m trying to do better at trusting.” Her smile pierces my heart. Now I feel even guiltier if that’s possible. “It’s chilly outside but it’s supposed to warm up a bit this afternoon. Maybe we can take Ditto for a walk down the road? Walk over to Sadie’s?”
I smile as Ditto brings back the toy and lays down in front of us, squeakin’ it loudly. I laugh. It feels good to have noise in the house again. Too good. “Sounds good.” I look into her eyes. “I guess I should go get my chores done then.” She nods but doesn’t move. I can’t seem to take my eyes away from hers. I push against my legs with my hands. “Okay, then. I better go get ‘em done.” I stand up and tear myself away from her beautiful eyes and walk out. It’s gonna be a long day.
I finally finish about mid-day, gettin’ all the animals enough hay and water in their trough’s, brushin’ and cleanin’ out the barn. I run upstairs and take a quick shower, gettin’ all the grime off me. When I get downstairs I find Shiloh, and I put on Ditto’s collar and leash. I watch as she laughs when he tugs on his leash. I get our coats from the closet and hold hers open for her. She smiles, sliding her arms through the sleeves, and I bring it up wrappin’ it around her. Her unique smell fills my nose and warms me up instantly. She has to pull him out the door and then carry him down the porch steps, but by the time we walk down the drive to the dirt road, he’s pullin’ her. As we walk she smiles, her hair blowin’ in the breeze, her light colored eyes changin’ from the almost white color to white when the sun hits them. Never seen anythin’ like them. Drivin’ to Memphis’ takes about ten minutes but walkin’ takes about thirty five. Probably would have been a little faster if it weren’t for Ditto stoppin’ every two minutes. Then again, after about twenty minutes, he got tired so I picked him up and carried him the rest of the way. For a nine week old pup, he’s not that small.
Shiloh
Ditto’s a lot bigger when you try to carry him. I laugh as Colby picks him up but then close my mouth quickly when I see he’s not straining at all. Why would he? His muscles have muscles. As we walk on the dirt road, I visualize myself being with Colby, sharing a life together. Makes me wonder if that is even possible or if he even would feel that way about me. Then sometimes he looks at me, smiles, and makes butterflies take root in the pit of my stomach and gives me some sense of hope. But what if I’m wrong? What if he just wants to be friends? Well, I guess I can handle that. I need friends, people I can trust. Can I trust him? I’m starting to trust Sadie. I like her. She’s been through a lot in her young life. Maybe not quite as bad as what I’ve been through but still, to be a good person after all that, says a lot about her. Men are a different thing all together. I trusted a man and looked what happened. I know I’m not being fair but after everything I’ve been through, I can’t be too careful. It’s my life that’s at stake.
We get to the door and Sadie’s excited to see us. She lets us in and we follow her to the living room. “How about some coffee or hot chocolate?” She asks as we sit down.
“I’d love some hot chocolate. Need some help?” Suddenly, I’m overwhelmed with emotions, my mind sweeping with possibilities. She nods, and Colby takes Ditto’s leash. I smile, those butterflies flittering in my stomach again as he smiles back at me. I walk with her into the kitchen and lean against their breakfast bar as she sets up her Keurig machine.
“How’s Ditto doing? Feeling at home?” She asks politely.
A small burst of laughter leaves me. “I think so. He’s seems to feel comfortable around us. I guess we’ll see what happens tonight at bedtime.” She turns her head and smiles. I look down and then raise my eyes to her. “I’m feeling a little more comfortable too. Especially with you. Thank you for that.”
She turns around, placing her hands on the counter behind her and smiles. “I’m glad. Look, Shiloh. If you ever want to talk, know that nothing you say will go past these lips. Not even to Memphis. I believe in trust, that you have to earn it, guard it and I do. You can ask my best friend, Tina, at the shop. Oh, yeah! You haven’t met her yet. You must. She’s very sweet. Anyway, she knows I do not betray friends. Ever.”
My heart swells with that sense of hope again. Can I trust it? Can I trust her? My gut tells me I can, but it’s been wrong before. ‘You won’t know if you don’t take the chance. You just might find that we are good people.’ Wise words from someone who took a chance with others she didn’t know that well, and they ended up almost giving up their lives for her. “Can I tell you something, in strict confidence?”
She nods eagerly. “Of course you can.” She places her hand on her chest over her heart. “I would never say a word. I promise.”
My heart begins to race. Come on, Shiloh. You can do this. If you don’t try to trust someone, you’ll never know if you can trust anyone. “Well, it’s two things really.” She turns and pours our drinks then hands me a cup, and I follow her over to the table, looking around to make sure we’re still alone. “I think I’m having feelings for Colby.” She smiles and nods, knowing how I’m feeling. “Men are a little harder for me to trust. Deadly Sins?” She leans over the table, getting closer. Her eyes widen in anticipation. “Well, the things in the stories?” I stop and take a deep breath. “They’re true. It’s actually my life,” I breathe out.
She slaps the table as she leans back in her chair, making me jump. “I knew it!”
“Knew what?” My head snaps around as her eyes widen quickly. Colby and Memphis walk into the room, Ditto following happily behind them. Colby looks at me, his face full of the question he asked.
“Oh! Nothing! We were just taking about….” Sadie looks at me, her eyebrows raised like she’s just been caught cheating on Memphis. I look at her and then back at Colby.
“Baking!” I yell, then purse my lips.
“Yes! Baking, ha! Shiloh was telling me about a secret ingredient in, uh, something she makes.” Sadie looks at me, her brows now lowered in her state of trying to cover.
“Oh. That’s nice. Memphis and I are going to take Ditto out back. He wants to show me the new horse they bought.” Colby bends down and takes Ditto’s leash from his mouth and stands up smiling.
“Okay! You two have fun,” Sadie replies. We watch them walk out the back door, Ditto putting his leash back in his mouth bouncing beside Colby. She turns and looks at me. “I am so, so sorry! I really need to learn not to get so excited. And loud.”
I smile then a laugh leaves my mouth. “It’s okay. I couldn’t imagine finding out that the author of a horrifying story was sitting across
from me.” My heart stops for a beat, flashes of things that happened to me entering my mind. I brush them away.
She puts her arms on the table, leaning in. “Then you’re still running.” I nod, sadly. “I can’t even imagine going through what you have. No wonder it’s so hard for you to trust anyone, especially a man. You poor thing.” I lean back, putting my arms around my waist, trying desperately not to put my hand over my scar. “You have to be the strongest person I’ve ever known. Well, besides my mom and her awful fight with cancer.” She stops and I can see the cogs turning in her mind of everything in my books. “Everything you went through, no wonder you get migraines and have awful nightmares.” My eyes widen with her words. “Yeah, Colby kind of mentioned them. He’s worried about you, ya know? Doesn’t quite know what to do. He wants you to trust him, he wants to help you. He’s just that kind of guy. Would give anyone the shirt off his back if they needed it.”
“I’m starting to find that out,” I whisper, knowing in my mind she’s right. It’s my heart that can’t quite grasp it yet.
“So, Deadly Game. You won’t be able to finish it until it’s all over, will you?” I shake my head, blowing out a deep breath. I sit up, putting my hands around my cup, shivering with a sudden coolness, hoping it will warm me. She reaches across, covering my hand with hers. I look up into her worried eyes. “Power is in numbers, Shiloh. If Colby and Memphis knew, they’d help protect you. You have to know this.”
I search her eyes with mine. “It’s not even as much knowing they would but knowing what could happen to them, to you. I don’t just protect myself with the knowledge. I also protect anyone who would be willing to help.” She nods, but I can tell she still wants to help. “You don’t know what he’s capable of, Sadie, what he’d do. I lost Bandit.” Tears form in my eyes, visualizing him hanging there in my entryway. “I lost someone else too that I haven’t written about, yet.” Her eyes widen then soften. “I’m not just scared for me.”
She leans back again, blowing out a breath causing her hair to fly out. “I get that, Shiloh. I do. And from what I’ve read, more than once I might add, I can understand your fear of protecting people that try to help you but isn’t it their choice to take that risk? Isn’t it their life that they’d be willing to lose to help you? You need to think about that. It’s admirable to want to protect others but ultimately, it’s their decision. Shouldn’t you give that to them?”
I rub my hands over my face then look into her eyes. “You’re smart but it doesn’t take away my fear. I just don’t want anything to happen to anyone I know. I think I’m more afraid of that then him taking my own life. I, um…. I have one more secret.” She sits up again, eager for me to spill. “There’s a man Colby hired to help out at his farm. He’ll be here tomorrow. He’s, uh…. He’s a friend of mine, coming undercover to help protect me. I’ve known him for a long time and haven’t seen him for even longer. I really feel like I can trust you, Sadie. Please don’t take that from me. Please?”
Her smile is sweet, her eyes full of understanding. “I won’t. I promise, Shiloh. Your secrets are safe with me. I’m glad you’ll have a friend here. I just hope that you’ll trust Colby and Memphis soon. Power in numbers. Please try. For me?”
I reach across and take her hand. “I’ll have two friends here.” Her smile lifts even higher. “I’ll try. I can’t promise, but I’ll try.” She nods and covers my hand with hers.
The back door opens and Ditto comes bounding in, right to my feet. I bend over, picking him up and placing him in my lap, petting his fuzzy fur. I look up and smile as the guys walk in. Colby’s breathtaking smile stills my heart and then makes it race. He definitely has an effect on me, one I could easily give my heart to. We decide we’d better head back as the sun begins its descent. We don’t talk on the way home, both lost in our own thoughts. Ditto is exhausted from all the exercise when we get there and so am I, so I say goodnight and take him upstairs. Tomorrow, Trevor will be here. I’m so anxious to see him again. I get ready for bed, and by the time I turn the bathroom light off and walk to my bed, Ditto is already sleeping soundly in his bed. I look down and smile, feeling emotional looking at him. I crawl into my bed, pulling the covers over me and turn on my right side. One more night then Trevor will be here. One more night.
I hear barking and sit up quickly, breathing rapidly, my hand over my heart. I look down to see Ditto standing up, his paws on the mattress. I lean over and pet him, remembering the horrible nightmare I was having. The sweet boy woke me up knowing I was having a bad dream, something Bandit used to do. He licks my arm as I pet him then he gets down and cuddles into his fluffy bed. I lay down on my back, looking up at the ceiling, feeling the need to write but too tired to move. I turn my head, looking at the bright red numbers on the clock. Two thirty. Too early to get up but too scared to go back to sleep. This nightmare felt too real. I hope it’s not what’s to come. If it comes true, everyone I know will die.
I never fell back asleep, too afraid the nightmare would plague me again. I’m so tired but also so anxious to see Trevor. The hot shower didn’t help much but putting on a little light makeup on made me look a little more rested. At least it covered up the bags under my eyes. I walk downstairs, Ditto following me ready to go outside. I get on my coat, deciding he doesn’t need his leash to go out back. Walking through the kitchen with him on my heels, I flip on the lights knowing it’s too early for even Colby to be up yet. The air is brisk as we walk out onto the deck. I have trouble closing the door when the wind picks up. My hair blows wildly with the breeze as I watch Ditto bound down the steps and onto the grass. He wastes no time in going potty. My smile appears with pride. It’s still fairly dark out, only the lights on the barn and around the deck illuminating enough light to see. I look at the mountains in the distance, the sun behind them making them look even more gorgeous. I hear Ditto bark and I gasp, covering my heart with my hand, when I see the figure of a man standing in the yard. Ditto is a few feet in front of him making a lot of noise. The man begins to approach, and I take steps back matching his, hitting the door with my back. From the dim light of the deck lamps I see Trevor visualizing in front of them as he reaches the steps.
“Sorry. Was tryin’ not to scare you and I did anyway.”
I run across the deck, down the stairs, and throw myself into his strong arms. “Oh, my God, Trevor! It’s so good to see you. Oh! We need to get out of the light. Colby might see you.” We back away to the side, my arms still tightly around his waist. “God. I can’t believe you’re here.” I look up at his smiling face, the face I missed so desperately. “Wait! Why are you here so early? Is something wrong?”
His strong hands grasp my arms and push me back a little. I look into those blue eyes and see his beautiful smile I’ve missed so much. “Nah. I just wanted to get in a few minutes with you before I knock on the front door. How are ya, darlin’?”
I sigh in relief. “Better now that you’re here.” I lean up and kiss his cheek, his stubble rough on my lips. “So, just to fill you in. Colby seems really nice, almost trustworthy and his neighbors, Memphis and Sadie seem to be too.” I start biting on the inside of my lip and his eyebrows raise, giving me a questioning look. “Okay. I told Sadie the truth, well, most of it.”
“You sure that was a good idea, Shiloh?” He asks in concern.
He puts his thumb down on my lower lip until I release it. “Yes? No? I dunno. I just feel really good about her and I explained that I was more worried trusting people because I didn’t want them to get involved or hurt.”
He puts his arm around me, pulling me into him. “Well, all I can say is, if you trust them, then they must be good folk.” I look up and see his face grow serious. “I know it takes you a lot to trust people so if you do, I will too.”
He relaxes and spreads his smile again, showing his beautiful white teeth. “Sadie’s the only one that knows and she swears to secrecy. I think Colby’s putting the pieces together though. He’s reading Deadly Love.” H
is eyes light up. “Yeah. That makes me pretty nervous too.”
“Well, all I know is….”
“Shiloh? Is that you out there?” Colby’s voice stops us, and I step out of Trev’s arms quickly. “Ditto. Mornin’, boy.” I peek out from the darkness of the side of the deck and see Colby squatting down, Ditto licking all over him. I look back at Trevor and raise my brows, asking if he’s ready. He nods curtly so I take a deep breath. I step into the light and walk around to the front of the deck. Colby looks up as I approach with Trevor behind me.
“Morning. Look who I found.” I feel like I’m shaking and hope my voice doesn’t reflect that.
Colby stands up slowly as Trevor walks past me and up the steps, his hand reaching out. “Name’s Trevor MacKay. Nice to meet ya.” Colby takes his hand and they shake. Trevor reaches his arm out and points at me. “Hope you don’t mind me gettin’ here early. Had a long drive. Didn’t want to wake anyone so I walked around back, met Shiloh and Ditto.” He looks around then back at Colby. “Nice spread ya got here.”
Colby looks at him skeptically then at me. I smile, trying to show him that I’m okay, that Trevor’s a good guy. After staring at me for a beat he finally looks at Trevor. “Thank ya. How ‘bout a good breakfast to start our day, get to know each other, then I’ll show ya around?”
Trevor turns his head to me and winks then looks back at Colby. “That’d be right nice of ya.”
Colby seems to relax but I can tell he still has his guard up. Maybe if nothing else comes from me being here, from my books, he’ll watch out and take care of himself. Sometimes he seems to welcome too easily. He opens the back door and stands back as Trevor walks in then I walk up the stairs and smile as I pass. I walk straight to the refrigerator and start taking out the things I need then fill the coffee pot with water and coffee. I hear the guys sit down at the table, not liking the silence. I crack the eggs into the skillet, waiting to see if anyone will ever speak.