by Andres Mann
Amir lay down between her legs and kissed her on her belly. Fadime reacted in anger. “Brother, I have been watching you conquering another woman all night, all the time wishing you were doing that to me. It’s time. I am not you sister now. I am your whore! Take me now.”
Amir growled like an animal as he plunged inside Fadime. She moaned, accepting his incursion eagerly. She raised her hips to meet her brother’s forceful thrusts that were becoming more insistent and rapid, penetrating her deeply. “Please! Please!” Amir’s stabs became faster and fiercer. His hands moved back again to her hips as he drove deeper and deeper into her burning body. Then suddenly they cried out in unison, their mutual rapture attained.
Amir continued to kiss his sister and to move inside her body. The final taboo of incest discarded, their mutual wish had been fulfilled.
Fadime finally asked her brother; “What are you going to do with the videos?” Amir kissed her once more and resumed thrusting into her body.
“I don’t know. They might be useful in the future” For now I intend to marry Tess.
Fadime smiled coquettishly, enjoying her brother’s persistent incursion. “Delicious.”
Chapter 28
Agony and Defeat
Tess woke up in the morning feeling as if she had experienced a head-on collision with a freight train. She was sore all over, and her arms and legs felt like she had run a marathon.
She called for breakfast in her room, showered and started to pack her small suitcase.
She pondered her night with Amir. He was a force of nature, unbelievably skilled in the bedroom, with stamina that a racehorse would envy. She had never experienced so many orgasms. Her body needed to recover from an extraordinary experience.
Yet, she was still afraid of Amir. He was relentlessly compelled to overcome her resistance, forcing her to climax even when she did not want to. He put on a performance.
She went to look for Aara and found her running in the garden giggling, being chased my Amir playing the ogre. He finally caught her and both fell on the grass, the child laughing with delight.
Aara saw Tess and rushed into her arms. “Tess, where were you? We are playing.”
“Sorry, I missed that, sweetheart. I was packing to leave.”
The child looked at her quizzically. Amir gestured for the nurse to take the child away. Aara waived her hand at Tess sadly, not understanding what was happening.
Amir and Tess started walking on a path in the garden. “Tess, last night was extraordinary; you are everything I ever wanted. Stay with me.”
Tess was silent for a minute and then looked Amir in the eye. “Amir, I am leaving and taking Aara with me, as we agreed.”
“Tess, have I disappointed you in any way? Wasn’t the lovemaking marvelous?”
“Yes, Amir, you are a wonderful lover, and I will always remember last night. You are a remarkable man but not for me. You overwhelm me. You make me feel like a prisoner. I can’t be your plaything.”
“How can I change? I want to marry you, Tess. You are the strongest and most amazing woman I have ever met. I want you to be the mother of my children. I see what you do with Aara, and I just know that you are very capable of loving children. Please, Tess, I am willing to do anything for you.”
“I am flattered Amir, but I cannot be your dutiful wife. You suffocate me, and I don’t think you will ever be satisfied with any one woman. You are a true Sultan. You will only be happy with a harem.”
Amir became agitated. “That is not true. You are more than enough for me. I will give up everyone else. Tess, don’t do this to me.”
“Amir, I am not equipped to be with you. I couldn’t handle it. You have complete control over your life and everyone around it. You are like a black hole, sucking planets down its vortex. I need to live my life my way.”
“You are giving up a life of privilege with someone that adores you, and a child that needs you.”
“I am sorry, Amir. I really believe that you would be better off without me. I will now like to take Aara with me.”
“Tess, you leave me no choice but to disclose an important fact to you. Aara is my daughter.”
Tess felt like she was hit by a sledgehammer. She collapsed on a garden bench, horrified. Instantly she made the connection. Aara’s huge dark eyes were identical to those of Fadime. There was no question they reflected the family bloodline. “You bastard, you set me up!”
“I just did what I had to do to have you in my life … and Aara’s.”
Tess started to feel her anger surge uncontrollably. “You have taken everything from me—my dignity, my sanity, and my self-respect. You have even used your own daughter as a pawn in a deal that could never be. You are a monster!”
Her despair started to fuel a murderous rage, building toward an explosion of violence. She wanted to damage Amir, to hurt him in a way that he would regret every minute they had spent together. She could not control her furious indignation and was ready to unleash her warrior ways, to strike the enemy. Then she saw Aara and the nurse at the far end of the garden.
Tess opened her arms toward her. The child escaped the clutch of the nurse’s hand and ran toward her, deftly evading Amir’s attempt to stop her, falling into Tess’s embrace, laughing.
“Are you going to stay with me, Tess? Are you?”
Tess clutched the child and could not help a cry of despair. “I want to be with you, Aara, but I can’t stay here. I really need to leave.”
“You can’t go, Tess. You must stay with me. I want you to stay with me!” Now sobbing, Aara held on to Tess desperately. “Don’t go, Tess.”
Shattered, Tess reluctantly let the girl go, and Amir picked her up.
Amir tried to console the child, who was now encircling his neck with her tiny arms, still crying desperately. “Is this really what you want to do? Do you wish to break this child’s heart? Do you really want to reject my love?”
“Amir, I really don’t want to hurt anyone any more than I hurt myself. I love Aara. But I need to go now.
Amir looked at his watch. “The car will take you to the airport. Take care, Tess.”
She started to walk away until she reached the house and then turned her gaze back. The child in Amir’s arms kept looking at her through the tears with haunting, reproachful eyes. Tess tried to achieve control, finding herself in an untenable position. She had lost everything.
Chapter 29
Return to Baghdad
The driver took Tess to Heathrow airport in London. She tried hard to overcome the shock of what had happened, and now she had regained control of her emotions, knowing that the driver was observing her. She was still crying inside, feeling like a failure. Not only she failed to free Aara, but she also gave herself to a man that she now hated more than ever.
She had also lost Jake. She saw him in her mind, his cute smile, gentle manner, his sensitivity toward her impulsive nature and his devotion to her. He had supported her quest, even though he clearly thought that she was chasing a chimera, something that is hoped or wished for, but, in fact, illusory or impossible to achieve. Sadly, he was right. Nothing turned out as it should have. She had allowed herself to be seduced and humiliated by Amir, who was deceiving her every step of the way.
She arrived in Baghdad and was driven to the Green Zone, the only secure fortified area in the city. Colonel Reynolds greeted her and brought her up to date. The country was in shambles. The dissolution of the bureaucracy and the Iraqi Army had unleashed a vicious insurrection. Looting was rampant throughout the city and they even ransacked the museums. The U. S. armed forces did not have anywhere near the troops necessary to restore order.
Most disturbing, tribal conflict had reared its ugly head. The Sunnis, suddenly out of power, started to blow up Shiite mosques. The Shiites retaliated with revenge killings and bombings of their own. Clerics on both sides incited the faithful to holy war, and Al Qaeda was now operating in the country, engaging in indiscriminate killing.
The U. S. and its allies were eager to establish a local government run by Iraqis but had problems finding suitable candidates willing to get involved in the maelstrom.
Terror attacks continued relentlessly. Suicide bombings in Karbala and Baghdad killed worshippers during the Ashura holy days. An insurgency by the Mahdi Army led by a radical Shiite cleric was next. Fierce and bloody fighting in Najaf and Fallujah followed.
Back at the base, the flight line hummed with aircraft coming and going around the clock. The pilots flew demanding six- to eight-hour missions in full body armor.
Tess was back in her element. She was anxious to be in the middle of things, flying through smoke and fire, shooting at the enemy and doing her job. She was doing what she had been trained to do, the turbulence of war occupying her all day and night, enabling her to put the disappointment and heartache somewhat out her mind. The awful reality of war did not fully register with her at this time, nor did it matter.
Tess had asked for a transfer to a 58D Kiowa helicopter, a two-pilot chopper. She immediately started to coordinate combat and reconnaissance operations.
She preferred the Kiowa over other helicopters because it offered her a combat role, the aircraft being used in an armed reconnaissance in support of ground troops. Plus, it provided greater freedom to maneuver. The chopper carries Hellfire and 2.75-inch rockets and has a .50-caliber machine gun, is designed to work with small units such as tanks, Bradley Fighting Vehicles and infantry platoons. The Kiowa works directly with ground units in the combined arms fight.
The chopper’s reconnaissance role also appealed to her. It afforded her more autonomy. She had freedom to maneuver on the battlefield and pick a target.
She and her co-pilot, Chief Warrant Officer Carmen Cabrera got to work. They suppressed enemy mortar teams, called in indirect fire and artillery on buildings or called on the Air Force to drop bombs on targets they identified.
On one of their flights, Tess and Carmen detected an insurgent stronghold. Antiaircraft weapons set up by former Iraqi army air defense officers regularly threatened Army helicopters. Flying fast over the city, they were at great risk to be hit by small-arms fire.
As dawn broke over the town’s tortuous neighborhoods, Tess detected the development of an imminent raid. She also spotted lookouts on the roof a nearby school. She got that little tingle in the back of her neck that said something isn’t right.
On the ground, assaulting U.S. ground troops started to get ambushed from the school and began taking heavy casualties. The fire had the GIs pinned down, and medics couldn’t evacuate the wounded. “Cheetah, we need a gun run south of the city,” came the radio call.
With Tess at the controls, her Kiowa swooped in from the south to attack with its machine guns. The aircraft was breaking away when suddenly it was hit by a barrage of fire. “We’re taking fire left,” her co-pilot, Carmen, called out. Tess heard the popping of bullets and felt the helicopter lurch. A round had hit the fuel cell, igniting it. An alarm bell went off in the cockpit.
“We’re losing fuel!” Tess said as the Kiowa started to drop. Carmen thought they were about to crash when at the last minute the fuel cell sealed itself, as it was designed to do, keeping them aloft.
Flying low, enduring shakes and rattles from the damaged aircraft, they made it back to the base. When they landed, they saw that the fuselage was split. Tess jumped out and rushed to prepare another aircraft for flight. Ten minutes later, she and Carmen switched to a Black Hawk with a crew and took off to resume the combat.
In just a few days, Tess and Carmen had formed an intuitive mind connection between themselves. They could read each other’s thoughts, guiding the chopper as one, sensing danger and maneuvering to escape disaster.
Colonel Reynolds contacted Tess on the radio. “Major, we have a soldier that is close to death. He has been severely injured in a mortar attack and medics inside the base in the center of town believe his only chance of survival is to be airlifted out for surgery.”
Reynolds was up front and told Tess that he was facing a dilemma. “I don’t know if we should risk your lives and those of your crew to save just one soldier.” He left the decision to her and her crew. “It’s your call. This is dangerous. There is a risk your chopper could be shot down.”
“We need to get back out there,” Tess said. “We were going to save a guy’s life.”
Minutes later, the Black Hawk flew low and fast toward the objective, a small, isolated compound in the heart of the insurgent stronghold.
The aircraft waved across rooftops to try to evade surface-to-air missiles. A couple of weeks earlier a helicopter had been shot down as it flew across a similar part of the city.
Four mortar bombs exploded close to Tess’s craft within minutes of landing, peppering its fuselage with red-hot shrapnel. For those watching on screens at the Command Center, the casualty extraction seemed to take an eternity.
The helicopter finally rose into the air and peeled away, firing a volley of flares to ward off incoming missiles.
Reynolds saw his screen go white from the intensity of the flash and feared that he had sent his people to their deaths. Reeling from the horrible moment, he was relieved when he saw that Tess had pulled off the extraction successfully.
Upon landing, the wounded soldier was immediately taken to surgery.
At the debriefing, Colonel Reynolds praised Tess and her crew. “It was an awesome bit of flying. Due to your bravery, we sent a message that it is important to rescue even one single soldier. The soldiers need to know that if they are injured, we will come and get them out—no matter what.”
Chapter 30
Friends
Back to her quarters, exhausted, Tess felt a little queasy in her stomach and had to lie down until it passed.
Carmen noticed that Tess was not feeling well. “What’s up, boss? Are you okay?”
“I am fine, Carmen. I think I am letting the stress get to me. I am not happy about it.”
“I can understand that. Here is a glass of water. Now, try to relax and take a nap.”
Tess tried to get some rest, but in her sleep, she was plagued by regrets. She kept seeing Aara’s sad black eyes looking at her when she was taken away by the nurse. She saw herself running away in a dark place, trying to evade Amir, who chased her on a black horse. She looked for Jake to take her in his arms, laughing in joy. Instead, Jake invariably walked away.
Waking up in a sweat, she got herself together and threw herself into new missions. She flew more dangerous sorties, firing her weapons against the enemy, warning other units of dangers, trying to suppress her demons with noise, bullets, and blood.
Tess and CWO Cabrera again received compliments for their skill, courage, and determination. When the troops on the ground heard the women’s call signs, they were assured of competent support. The pilots brought firepower to bear when they needed it. They also knew that the women never hesitated to risk their lives to pick up the wounded in the middle of battle.
But she and other women were still aware that they faced greater scrutiny and restrictions than their male counterparts.
Soldiers on the ground who did not know the women operating the aircraft sometimes slighted them when speaking over the radio.
On mission briefings, soldiers often deferred to male aviators rather than higher-ranking women. If a woman showed any emotion in her voice or even a crack, the guys on the ground would transmit ‘Say again, you’re coming in soft.’ No one would ever tell that to a man.
As an officer, Tess was conscious of walking a fine line between leading men on the front lines and not offending male soldiers who wanted to pay her courtesies, such as opening doors for her.
Over dinner in a noisy chow hall, Tess, Carmen, and other women shared their feelings. Despite their skill as combat pilots, women in the military still faced restrictions that made it challenging for them to integrate themselves in mostly male units.
One rule barred female and male aviators fro
m entering each other’s quarters while another policy requires escorts for women on base. While aimed at maintaining discipline, the segregation was isolating.
Implicit in the separation, she felt, was a mistrust that offended her as a professional. They trust me to make combat decisions to defeat the enemy but don’t trust what I do when I go to talk with a male colleague in his quarters. All the guys hang out and play poker in one of the men’s rooms, and I’m not allowed in there. I will never be part of that group. I will always be on the outside, which makes it harder to cope with the pressures of deployments and ultimately, to develop a career that elevates a person to her fullest potential.
***
Tess had few female friends, but now she had developed a mutually supportive relationship with Carmen, even though the Warrant Officer was very different from her. Gradually, they started sharing their life stories, and sometimes they talked far into the night.
While Tess grew up in a privileged environment, Carmen spent her youth in a brutal environment of thugs, drugs, prostitutes and abject poverty.
Tess was reserved about talking about her youth. Carmen, on the other hand, was far more communicative. “I am the product of a multiracial union — my mother was black and my father Latino. I spent my early years in an overcrowded tenement in South Los Angeles. I learned early on how to evade danger and how to protect myself by learning to be tough. I finally joined the Army to escape my environment.”
Tess talked about the journey that led her to join the military. “In my mind, I always saw a career in the Army as a pre-ordained future. In a sense, I felt that it was up to me to continue a family tradition. Practically all of the men in my family had a career in the Army. We have pictures of my ancestors wearing uniforms going all the way back to the Civil War. I was the only girl born to the clan—unheard of until I showed up. I guess we had a strange DNA that only produced males. My dad decided to call me Morgan, the traditional name of every first born in the family but was not a zealot. When my mom died, he did his best to encourage girly things—ballet lessons, piano playing, doll collecting. But I always felt an obligation not to break a hallowed family history. I could have gone to study music at the Conservatory, but I chose to pursue a career in the Army instead.