He wanted to. He wanted to tell her what happened with Ethan and what happened at the rodeo but he couldn’t. He just couldn’t. Not tonight. “No, of course I don’t regret what happened. And I never will.”
Relief washed over her face and her body grew less rigid, more relaxed. “Good. Now please sit down and tell me about Ethan.”
“Tomorrow. I’ll tell you tomorrow. I promise.” He opened the door and rushed out into the night. On the way to the truck, he noticed Ethan walking slowly back to the trailer. Ethan stopped, looked at him, the puppy asleep on his shoulder. Linc gave him a small wave but Ethan didn’t return it.
When Linc started the truck’s engine, he looked back at the trailer window. Kinley stood there watching him, her expression said everything he needed to know. He had hurt her and it was the last thing he wanted to do. He just couldn’t fix what was wrong because the entire situation was un-solvable. Emotions couldn’t be controlled no matter how hard he tried and he was too tired to try anymore tonight. He put the truck in gear, stepped on the gas and headed back to the ranch with Kinley’s hurt burned into his brain.
***
The next day, Kinley and Ethan worked side by side mostly in silence. They fed the llamas, groomed them, took care of the horses. Ethan was so closed it worried her. She wondered what had happened the night before, what had been said between Linc and Ethan. How had Linc handled it? What was Ethan’s reaction? She wanted to ask but she didn’t want to push him so soon after Astrid’s death. He needed time. The kid had been through so much in his short, young life. He needed to know that someone cared about him and his feelings and most of all respected those feelings. And she did care about him. In fact she was growing to love him—even his ornery attitude.
Lilly showed up about noon and was all smiles. “How’s the day going? Any problems with the llamas? I wish school wasn’t starting soon. Can’t believe summer’s almost over.” Her gaze settled on Astrid’s empty stall. “Is she out in the paddock?” she asked in a cautious voice.
Cleaning a saddle, Ethan froze in his work, glanced at Kinley then back at Lilly.
“What’s going on?” Lilly asked quietly.
Kinley laid a hand on her arm. Before she could say anything Lilly’s eyes brimmed with tears and streamed down her face. “I’m sorry, honey. Astrid passed away late last night.” Lilly pressed a hand over her mouth. “Would you rather go home and hang out for the rest of the day? Ethan and I can handle things here.”
She dropped her hand and brushed away her tears. Her blonde braid swung back and forth with the motion of her head. “No, I don’t want to go home. I want to be here. With you.” She turned and looked at Ethan. “And you too, Ethan.”
The boy’s expression was stoic but his eyes, his eyes told the story. They burned with sadness and disappointment. Kinley wanted to take him in her arms and assure him that everything in his life would be okay because she was here for him and always would be, but he wouldn’t welcome her embrace or her words. She would bide her time and wait. She would wait until he was ready to accept the love and caring she had to give him. “Good, I think we all need each other today.”
Lilly nodded. “I’ll go clean out the llama troughs. Where’s Linc today?”
Where indeed, thought Kinley. He had yet to show up. Her stomach churned with thoughts of how he had shut her out the night before. He refused to share what had happened with Ethan. He didn’t trust her enough to share it. Or did he regret making love with her? Why wouldn’t he open up?
And then the only answer that possibly made any sense presented itself. They had crossed the line when they had sex and he really did regret crossing that line. And he didn’t want to go any further. He wanted her and her feelings out of his life. That is why he hadn’t shown up today. Kinley fumed through her hurt. The man was a coward. She turned toward Ethan. “It’s time we started gutting that trailer. What do you say we go hit something?”
In a few minutes, they were inside the trailer, each with a hammer in their hands, gloves on and a dust mask. The puppies were outside with Lilly. The door and windows were open for ventilation. Kinley looked at Ethan and said, “Ready, get set, go!”
Together they slammed their hammers into the sheet rock of the old living room wall. They kept hammering, putting hole after hole in the old wall until dust clouded the air. Kinley dropped her hammer, grabbed the edge of the sheetrock and pulled hard. A large, jagged piece tore away but failed to squash her anger and hurt over Linc not talking to her last night, not bothering to show up today or even call to tell her he wasn’t coming and why. She tossed the piece to the floor. Damn his sorry hide.
Ethan grabbed piece after piece, breaking them off, tossing them to the floor then going after another one hardly taking a breath in between. His teeth were gritted and sweat dripped down his face. His skin became flushed and his breathing grew rapid. The more he tore, the faster he worked to demolish the wall. His arms bunched, dust filled his hair and the corners of his mouth turned down as tears sparkled in his eyes. His body slumped, he dropped to his knees. “Why did she have to die?” Ethan asked on a broken voice. “I took good care of her. I fed her the right food, I gave her fresh water. What did I do wrong?”
Kinley’s heart went out to him. “You did nothing wrong. Nothing at all. She was old, very old and it was just her time. Trust me.”
Ethan rubbed away the tears with the back of his hand and looked at her with hope in his eyes. “Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure. I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t the absolute truth.”
The doubt slowly faded from his eyes. Thank God. “You ready to get back to work now?”
He nodded and gave her a small smile. “Let’s do it.”
***
Linc stood out of sight in the hot, dirty kitchen. Kinley had reached Ethan. Why couldn’t he? He knew why. She laid her emotions bare, she invited connections between people but he didn’t.
He stepped into the room where Kinley and Ethan were working. “Hi, sorry I’m late.”
They halted. Ethan glared. Kinley’s gaze was cool and polite. There was no twinkle in her eyes, no spark of ain’t-life-grand. He wanted to believe it was because of Astrid’s death but he knew it wasn’t. “I promised you a conversation this morning.” He looked at Ethan. “Ethan, do you mind working alone for a few minutes while I talk to Kinley?”
He shrugged.
“Kinley?” Linc said.
“We’ll talk later. It isn’t fair to leave Ethan with all of this work.”
Damn it, she was going to make him grovel. “Okay, well, let me get some work gloves out of my truck and I’ll help you.”
“No need,” Kinley said quickly. “Ethan and I have this under control. But the flower beds need work and of course the trailer could use a coat of paint. Why don’t you go and work on that?”
Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out. “Fine.” He turned and headed out the door grumbling about stubborn, red-headed women.
Chapter Nine
A thunderstorm dumped rain in the afternoon, washing the air clean and dropping the temperature. A refreshing breeze blew through the pines around the trailer park cramming the air with their tangy scent. The sun slumped on the horizon, staining the clouds red and orange and pink.
Kinley and Ethan were hanging Chinese lanterns on the lowest branches of the trees while Linc helped Lilly set up a couple of picnic tables he’d bought at the hardware store. Kinley had decided to go ahead with the BBQ despite the passing of Astrid. She figured they would celebrate her life rather than mourn it and besides they all needed a pick-me-up.
He and Kinley still hadn’t talked and he didn’t understand why it was so all fired important anyway. Ethan seemed to have snapped back after he’d overheard Kinley talking to him. He guessed it was because any guilt he might have been feeling over Astrid’s death was gone and rightly so. He had nothing to feel guilty about. The kid had taken great care of Astrid and seen to her every n
eed. All Linc wanted tonight was a peaceful evening with family and friends and no one pushing him to rattle on about his damn feelings.
A truck grumbled up the road. In a moment, Rafe, JC and Molly arrived. Molly ran toward the area where they had set up for the BBQ. “Hi, Uncle Linc,” she said with a quick wave and ran toward Ethan, Lilly and the puppies playing beneath the pines.
Kinley stepped out of the trailer with a tray of burgers ready for the grill. “Hi, everybody,” she called, walked past him and set down the burgers. She wore a white sun dress with little straps and wedge shoes. Her skin was lightly tanned, her hair flowing down her back like a red waterfall curling in on itself. When she’d walked past him, he caught the scent of her shampoo and the vague smell of apples that she always carried with her.
JC put out her hand. “Hi, I’m JC. I apologize for not coming by sooner. I’ve been really busy at the resort. The summer has been crazy with activities and guests.”
Kinley smiled as she took her hand. “No problem. I’ve been really busy myself refurbishing the trailer park.”
In her other hand, JC held a large tray of goodies. “I made some brownies for dessert. I hope that’s okay.”
Kinley laughed. “Twist my arm. I love brownies and I have plenty of ice cream to go on top.”
Linc frowned at the word ice cream. He remembered sitting with her at the kitchen table last night eating ice cream while she poked at him to talk. Why did women always want to talk about things? Guys just shook hands and it was over.
While Kinley and JC admired the new puppies, Rafe pulled a couple of beers out of a cooler and handed him one. “So what’s up with you and Kinley? And don’t tell me nothing. She is acting chillier toward you than a sudden ice storm.”
Linc didn’t know where to begin. He had never told a living soul about what happened at the rodeo that day not even Rafe. Just thinking about the rodeo gave him that helpless-I’m-at-their-mercy feeling again and he hated it. He certainly wasn’t the kind of guy to kiss and tell and he didn’t want to talk about his relationship with Kinley. “Just a little personality clash.”
“From where I’m standing it’s more like the two of you have been striking sparks off each other and suddenly a cold front pushed through.”
Linc sipped his beer, his gaze wandering to Kinley who stood laughing at something JC had said. Her laughter drifted on the breeze and warmed him all over.
“Did you take my advice and try pushing some of her buttons?”
He nodded. “Yeah, but she has a way of pushing right back and suddenly you don’t know if you’re coming or going.”
Rafe laughed. “I remember that feeling well when JC and I were just getting to know each other. I think you’ve got it bad, bro.”
He did have it bad.
In fact, he had it awful.
He couldn’t stand her cool politeness. She’d barely looked at him all day and right now they were only a few feet from each other and she wouldn’t even glance his way. He heard cars and trucks coming down the drive filled with neighbors and friends. He’d play host now but later he and Kinley were going to have a talk. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was going to say, but he had to make her understand that not talking to her last night had nothing to do with her, it had to do with him. Hopefully by the time he was done, she would understand.
***
Kinley watched Linc out of the corner of her eye while trying to concentrate on what JC was saying. Her mind whirled with the thoughts and images of them in the river, how he comforted her and held her and did everything to help her bury Astrid. He was a kind, giving and gentle man, but for the life of her she didn’t understand why it was so hard for him to open about what happened with Ethan. What was the big deal? Ethan hadn’t said a word, in fact he’d hardly said a word to Linc either so she was guessing their chat didn’t turn out so well.
People were starting to arrive and she needed to play hostess with Linc. Hopefully they could hide their differences from everyone. Everybody already knew they were involved because they’d seen them at the Roundup. And if they didn’t act friendly they would figure the dew had dried on the rose. But maybe that might be a good thing. Kinley wasn’t the kind of woman who played games, who went out of her way to make a man jealous in order to get his attention. She had an entirely different plan in mind for Linc McCord, one she hoped would have him spilling his guts about what happened with Ethan and hopefully where she stood with him.
Kinley joined Linc who greeted people with a hand shake or a pat on the back and afforded all the ladies one of his dazzling McCord smiles. He looked amazing tonight in black jeans that hugged his hips and thighs, a black t-shirt that showed off the muscle in his arms. The smattering of hair on his forearms only added to his sex appeal. She couldn’t help looking at his hands while he held a beer with one and shook hands with the other. He had long, very capable fingers, fingers she knew first hand could take a woman to ecstasy, ease her back into herself then toss into a mind-blowing realm of pleasure all over again.
She stepped up beside him and smelled soap, aftershave and some indefinable scent that was Linc’s alone, a mixture of earthy woods and another scent that made her think of hearth and home and family and how wonderful it would be to have all three one day. She rested her palm on his back and gave him a beaming smile. He looked down at her, his brows furrowing slightly at her sudden change of attitude toward him no doubt. Good, she planned to keep him guessing for the rest of the evening. He’d kept her guessing and wondering and worrying if the real reason he didn’t want to talk was because of her and it was time to turn the tables.
With her hand still resting on his back and feeling the muscles bunch, she turned and welcomed what seemed half the town. Everyone pitched in, cooking burgers and hotdogs, dishing up potato salad, and serving sandwiches. Guests stood around with a plate and a drink in their hand or sat in a chair and visited. It pleased her to see Ethan flirting with a pretty girl his own age and the girl flirting right back. Maybe he was over his crush on Lilly.
Linc drifted away after everyone had arrived and seemed deep in conversation with Grant Jackson, the owner of the feed store but that was about to change. Kinley had set up her old portable stereo that she’d had since she was twelve and put on Billie Holiday’s record. As soon as the needle settled onto the record, she turned and purposely walked, no sauntered with a slight swing to her hips toward Linc, her eyes on his. He didn’t see her at first but it seemed everyone else did because they smiled and kind of parted like the Red Sea to allow her through. She was about half-way to him when he turned and saw her. She hoped the expression on her face said that he was some rich, delectable dessert that she wanted to lick and savor until the last bite and from the look on his face she had succeeded. The sound of God Bless the Child drifted on the warm, night air. The Chinese lanterns they’d hung cast golden pools of light under the trees and over the pine-needle covered ground. Kinley stopped and held out her hand to Linc. “May I have this dance?”
The man stood still for a moment and just stared at her, his blue eyes full of a myriad of questions. She guessed the first one being what is going on and why is she being so nice to me all of a sudden.
“I’ll hold your beer,” Mr. Jackson said. “Go ahead and dance with the lady.” He gave Linc a little nudge which seemed to bring him out of his sudden stupor.
He took her hand, wrapped an arm around her waist and they started moving in a slow, easy dance beneath the pines. Billie Holliday’s voice rang out clear and sensual and suddenly Kinley’s mind was filled with memories of her and her grandmother listening to this record while making cupcakes together on a chilly fall night. That night had not turned out as she had expected. Listening to the song was both heart-warming and bittersweet.
“So, why exactly the change of heart?”
She looked into Linc’s eyes and smiled. “Change of heart? What do you mean?”
He arched a dark brow. “I mean how you’ve been sending the b
ig chill my way since our conversation last night over ice cream.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m sorry if I’ve given you that impression. I’ve just been a bit sad about Astrid and then tonight with all the friends around and the music, it made me think of the past that’s all. What was and what can’t be again.”
“The past?” he asked.
She inhaled a deep breath of the pine and food scented air and gazed off into the distance. “This song was my grandmother’s favorite. She played it every time I visited her. For her there was no other singer. She always told me that I had to get out into the world and live my own life, make my own way. She encouraged me to learn to stand on my own two feet like the song says. God bless the child that’s got his own.” She looked down at her feet then back up at Linc. “Then one evening something happened and I had to put her words into practice.” The song ended then somebody tuned their car radio to the local country station.
He lifted her chin with his finger. “What happened?”
“I had come to stay with my Granma Ida for the weekend. I had just turned sixteen and my mother barely acknowledged my birthday. I think she loved me in her own way but she didn’t show affection well. That’s why my father took off when I was ten. He needed love in his life and she just didn’t have it in her to give. I often wondered why she ever got married in the first place and had me.” Kinley stopped dancing and they settled in a couple of chairs. “I asked her one day straight out and do you know what she said?”
The Judge And The Heiress (A Salvation Texas Novel) Page 9