He nodded. “Okay. What can I bring?”
“Nothing. I’ve got it covered.”
***
Later that evening, Kinley opened the oven door to check on the roast she had cooking and it was barely warm. She’d set the temperature correctly and had put it in a little under two hours ago. The oven light was off. Quickly, she grabbed an oven mitt, pulled the roast surrounded by onions, carrots and potatoes from the oven and stared at the raw roast. “Oh, no, this can’t be happening.” She’d even made homemade biscuits and planned to pop in a tray of brownies for dessert while they were eating. She shoved the roast on top of the oven, took off the oven mitts and slapped them against her thigh. “What am I going to do?” It was almost five thirty. Too late to cook it in an oven in one of the other trailers. Her guests were going to be here at six o’clock. She picked up the phone and dialed the Bluebonnet. After thanking Grace profusely, she went to find Ethan. He was lying on his bed listening to an Ipod she’d given him. “Hey, I’ve got a problem.”
He took out the ear buds and sat up. “What’s wrong?”
“The oven died and it’s too late to put everything in another oven so I called Grace. I’m going now to pick up the food. Can you hold the fort until I get back?”
He shrugged, “Sure.”
“Thanks, be back in a few.”
When Kinley walked into the trailer a few minutes later loaded with two large bags, Linc was waiting to help her. She heard the television in the family room with the sound of a gun fight and tires squealing.
“Guess Ethan told you what happened.”
He smiled. “Don’t worry about it. No one is going to turn down Grace’s food.”
For some reason his comment didn’t set well with her. Did he mean that someone might turn down her food? She started unloading the cartons of food. “There are some bowls and platters in a cabinet next to the stove. Would you please get them out for me?”
“Sure.”
In a few minutes, they had Grace’s roast beef with all the fixings, biscuits, gravy, and even strawberry shortcake for dessert ready. Kinley retrieved the salad she’d made earlier from the fridge and set it on the table. She’d put in the extra leaf for the table so they would have room, but it would be cozy eating in the kitchen like most families did on an ordinary night. She wanted Linc to see how great it was having a family and she hoped to find out how he felt about her. After the hike, he seemed to have put up a wall. He didn’t reach for her hand or casually touch her anymore. Whenever she got close to him hoping for a kiss, he would just stroke her cheek or her nose, smile and back away. She wasn’t sure what had happened. They had bonded in a way that only two people can when faced with a dangerous situation. They had helped save Ethan’s life. Why would he back away now?
She heard a vehicle pull up outside and she called Ethan to turn off the television. He ignored her so she asked again.
“I’m not that hungry. Besides, I’m not into this family thing.”
“Since when are you not hungry,” Kinley asked from the doorway. “You’re always hungry. And you and I are a family. So turn off the TV, get off your butt and come into the kitchen. Now. Okay?”
His shoulders slumped, he hit the off button and slowly rose from the sofa. His puppy was asleep beside him on the sofa and jumped up as soon as Ethan moved. He picked up the ball of fur and walked into the kitchen.
“No dogs at the table. Have you fed him yet?”
He nodded.
A knock sounded at the door right before Rafe and JC and Molly piled in. There was a round of greetings then Molly zeroed in on Ethan.
“Hi Ethan, How do you like my new shoes?”
The little girl with her dark curls and green eyes smiled, stuck out her foot and turned it slightly this way and that showing off her cute red Mary Jane’s with a matching bow. “Mom got them for me today.”
Ethan gave them a scant glance and said, “Cool.”
At hearing the word mom JC beamed and her eyes filled. Rafe tipped up her chin, gave her a light kiss on the lips. “None of that now, Mom.”
She swiped at the corner of her eyes. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing it.”
“And she’ll never got tired of saying it. I think I heard her say it about fifty times today.”
JC laughed. “She did. She was very chatty and full of questions.”
Kinley watched the exchange and it filled her with a deep seeded need for a family of her own. She wanted love, a husband, children. Lots of children because she’d been an only child. She wanted her life filled with family and animals and all the love she could pour into it. She’d grown to love Laid Back Ranch. It had become her home and she never wanted to leave. “Okay, everything is ready. Hope you’re all hungry.”
Hats were hung by the door and they gathered around the table. “I have a confession to make before we get started. The oven died and I didn’t realize it until it was too late to shift everything to one of the other trailers. So Grace came to my rescue.”
JC laughed. “Don’t worry about it. Everybody enjoyed your cooking at the BBQ. I’m just sorry we don’t get to sample it again tonight. Next time for sure. Only you will have to come to the Rocking M first.”
Linc and Rafe talked about cattle and beef prices while Kinley told JC how things were coming along on the ranch.
JC laid a hand over hers. “I’m so grateful that no one was hurt during the flash flood. You and Linc were very brave.”
Kinley eyed Linc who glanced her way. “Without Linc’s help I don’t want to think what could have happened.”
JC gave her a studied look. “How long have you been in love with him?” she asked in a low voice that only Kinley could hear.
Kinley felt heat climb up her neck and over her cheeks. Linc noticed her blush, glanced at JC then back at her and raised his brows slightly. Kinley stared at her plate, pushed around a piece of roast. “I didn’t know it showed.”
“Kinley, you’re a woman who wears her heart on her sleeve. You don’t hide your emotions well.”
“Do you think Linc knows?”
“You haven’t told him?”
She shook her head. “No, I was going to try to find out first how he felt about me later on tonight.”
JC smiled. “Well, if he is anything like my husband, he needs to be hit over the head before he realizes anything. Linc is so closed up emotionally though he might have recognized your symptoms already.”
“My symptoms?”
JC took a bite of mashed potatoes, chewed and swallowed. She patted her lips with her napkin. “Yes, it’s obvious when you look at him. Your eyes track wherever he goes. You say his name with a kind of reverence. You check him out when he isn’t looking. You look around for him when he isn’t there.”
The blush started again. “I had no idea I was so obvious.”
“Don’t worry about it. Men rarely notice these things until it’s pointed out to them. It flies right over their heads. And I’m pretty sure it’s flown right over Linc’s. Of course he could be in love with you himself and hiding it.”
Longing rose warm and wild inside of her. What if he did already love her? What if he was hiding it? And it would be just like him to hide it. She smiled at JC, sat up a bit straighter and scrutinized Linc.
He gave her a quizzical expression, glanced at JC then back at Kinley. Yes, one way or the other she intended to find out how he felt about her.
Tonight.
They were only half way through the meal when Molly said, “I don’t feel good. My stomach hurts.”
Concern blanketed JC’s face. She rested her palm on Molly’s forehead. “You do feel warm.” She looked at Rafe. “I think we’d better take her home, honey.”
Rafe rose from the table. “Kinley, Linc, Ethan it was a great dinner while it lasted. Sorry we have to leave.” Rafe picked up Molly and held her in his arms with her head resting on his shoulder. As they walked out the door, Molly gave them a little wave. By
the time the door closed, Ethan had already left the table and parked himself back in front of the television. Kinley was glad he was occupied because this was her chance to talk to Linc. Together they put away the leftovers and cleaned up the kitchen.
Kinley folded the dish cloth and laid it over the faucet. Ethan had turned off the television and gone to his room. “It’s a nice night out. Want to go for a walk?” Kinley asked.
He looked uncomfortable for a moment then said, “Sure.” And he didn’t say it with much excitement. She had hoped what JC said was true and he really did love her, but now she wasn’t so sure. Sometimes he got a look in his eye that told her he really cared for her but was it love? She told Ethan they were going for a walk and stepped outside the trailer. The night air was mellow, smelling of pine trees and grass. The sky was filled with stars and the moon beamed overhead. The full moon and starlight highlighted Linc’s blue eyes and cast shadows over other parts of his face. She reached for his hand and his fingers closed around hers. “Have you ever been love, Linc?”
He stopped and stared straight ahead toward the river shining like a silver ribbon in the moonlight. Her heart beat like a scared bird in her chest waiting for his answer. She wanted to know. She needed to know but she dreaded and looked forward to his answer all at the same time.
He let go of her hand and shoved his fingers into the pocket of his jeans. Time seemed to stop. Everything was magnified. The moonlight, the stars, the sounds of the crickets, the light from the fire flies. The smell of grass and pine and Linc’s scent of fresh laundry and soap.
“Well?”
He turned, looked her straight in the eye, and said, “No, I’ve never been in love.”
The world seemed to crumble around her including the ground beneath her feet. She was suddenly aware of her entire body. Her skin seemed to shrink around her muscles and bones, her blood to cool in her veins. She was aware of her hair brushing the side of her face, her pulse and heartbeat while she slowly shattered inside. She wished she could brush it off, act like it didn’t matter that he had just crushed her heart into a million pieces, that he had just destroyed her dream of having a life with him. But she wasn’t made that way. You had to build it from faith, honesty and love. It was the only way. She stood her ground, stared back at him with all the love she had for him jostling for space in her heart along with the love she had for Ethan and Laid Back Ranch. “That’s too bad because I’m in love with you.”
He looked like a man who had just been thrown into a prickly cactus and thorns had stuck into places they should never stick. He swallowed and looked away.
She touched his arm bringing his gaze back to hers. “I don’t know exactly when or how it happened but I’m completely and totally in love with you. I love everything about you. Your need for control, the way you like to plan everything, that look you get when I know you’re about to tease me about something. The way your eyes crinkle when you smile, the sound of your laughter. The way you say my name.”
“Kinley I—”
She placed her fingers against his lips, lips that she had kissed and hoped to go on kissing for the rest of her life but it was obviously not meant to be. She had her pride just like every other woman and she wasn’t ashamed of her emotions. Emotions were important and she would go on nurturing them and taking chances for the rest of her life. “Please, don’t say anything. I know you don’t love me. I can’t decide if it’s more your loss or mine. You’re missing out on a woman who wanted you to be a part of her life. I didn’t tell you because I want you to ask me to marry you although if you asked me I wouldn’t say no. I had hoped you might love me back, just a little but hey, we’ve only known each other a short while. There’s still time, right?”
He took off his hat and held it by his side. “Kinley you’re a wonderful woman and—”
“No, you don’t have to say anything more. It’s getting late. The renovation is almost complete, only a few minor details to see to. The drainage pipes will be installed tomorrow on the road and we’ll be done.” She forced a smile. “I’m tired. I’ll see you later, Linc.”
Kinley walked away feeling his gaze on her. She wanted to run to him, give him a hard shake and demand to know why he couldn’t love her back. But she already knew the answer. She’d risked everything for him, her heart, her soul, her spirit but she wasn’t enough for him. He couldn’t risk his heart for her.
Chapter Twelve
Linc drove home under a dark cloud. Why did she have to go and say those words? Why did she have to put it out there like that? She threw her emotions around like the wind scattering seeds into fertile soil. He banged the flat of his hand against the steering wheel. Damn it, he hated seeing the raw hurt in her eyes. It cut him up like razor blades to see it. He didn’t want her to be hurt. He didn’t want her to feel so much for him. He just wanted things to go along the way they’d been going. Why did she have to spoil things?
When she’d looked up at him with her big green eyes, the familiar curve of her lips, her wild red hair like a gorgeous cloud around her face and shoulders she looked like an angel. He’d wanted to grab her and hold her close and never let her go but he couldn’t. An emotion was pushing hard at his heart now, kicking with a force that Linc was trying hard to fight but he couldn’t let it in. He would live in constant fear that something might happen and he couldn’t live like that.
He pulled into the driveway, cut the engine and got out. He walked around to the back of the house and saw Rafe and Cade sitting on the porch drinking a beer. Cade with his head full of dark curly hair sat slumped in a chair. Rafe had his feet propped on the table. His boots were beside his chair and Linc noticed a hole in one of his socks. “Looks like you need to go shopping, brother,” he said and motioned toward his sock.
Rafe smiled. “Don’t think of it as a hole, think of it as ventilation. Besides, I’ve got better things to do than go shopping for socks. I need to shop for something else, something far more important than socks.” He grinned at Linc like a cat who’d just licked up all the cream.
“What’s going on? What are you so full of yourself about?”
“I’m going to be a daddy. Again.”
Despite what had just happened with Kinley he gave his brother a hard hug and a slap on the back. “Son of a gun. Congratulations. Is JC still awake? I want to kiss the mom to be.”
“Nah, she turned in early. She’d tired these days because…well suffice it to say it’s normal for a woman to feel tired in the early days of pregnancy.”
Linc knew Rafe was thinking of when his deceased wife had been pregnant with Molly. “You bet. I’ll see her at breakfast in the morning.”
Linc sat at the table and looked at Cade who had a sullen expression on his face. The man was usually smiling and full of mischief but not tonight. “What’s up with you?”
“He bought some land.”
“You going somewhere, Cade?”
He leaned forward and rested his arms on his thighs. “Yeah. I’d just finished telling Rafe all about it when you drove up. Sorry to spring it on you like this.”
“That’s okay. Man’s got a right to make plans, change his future.”
He nodded. “Thanks. I hope I’m still the ram rod until everything is finalized.”
“Like I said. No problem.”
Cade stood up said his goodnight and headed for his cabin not too far from the main house.
Linc rubbed the back of his neck where tension had set up shop. “Did you see that one coming?”
Rafe shook his head. “No, I was surprised. I guess I thought he’d be here forever. Wishful thinking. He’s the best ram rod the ranch has ever had. We’ll have to start looking for a replacement.”
The image of Kinley’s stricken face loomed large in Linc’s mind. She’d had pain, scraped and bleeding written all over her face. Suddenly he couldn’t hold back the emotion trying to invade his heart and gave up the struggle. He felt elated, sick, and crazed out of his mind all at once. He lov
ed her. He was in love with Kinley and he knew he had been from the moment he met her only it took seeing her standing in the sunshine laughing over a couple of llamas covered with masonry dust, her hair flying wild about her head, her eyes sparkling with happiness, her sweet, delectable mouth in a gorgeous smile, her palm resting on her stomach.
“Hey, you okay?”
Rafe’s voice snapped Linc out of his thoughts but his skin felt tight, his stomach in a huge knot and any moment he expected his lungs to stop working. “Yeah.”
“What’s going on? From the minute you walked up you looked like ten miles of bad road.”
He rubbed a hand over his head, his emotions in a whirl. How could he tie up the rest of his life with hers? How could he deal with her taking risks right and left without thinking once about the consequences? But he couldn’t deny how he felt about her and he had hurt her so badly tonight. He felt like a jerk. She’d told him in such a sweet voice that she loved him, that she simply loved him. What kind of man could lie to her face and tell her he’d never been in love. It had been there wrapping itself around his heart urging him to let it in but he hadn’t. He’d hurt her instead.
“Oh, I get it. You’re in love. You’ve gone and done it haven’t you? I’m happy for you. Kinley is a great woman and she’ll make you very happy.”
“No, she won’t.”
“What did you do?”
Linc could feel his brother’s gaze on him and he didn’t want to look him in the eye. “She asked me if I’d ever been in love and I said no.”
“You dumb jerk. I’ve admired you my whole life, I’ve looked up to you. I didn’t think you were afraid of anything but you’re afraid of Kinley. You’re a coward.”
Linc’s head shot up. “Now wait just a damn minute.”
“No, you wait. You want to be alone for the rest of your life? What’s wrong with you? Can’t you see happiness when it’s staring you in the face? Why won’t you reach out and grab it? Take a chance like the rest of us poor bastards.”
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