by Shara Lanel
“Guess I’ll do some snoozing on the office couch. After all, no one can fire me, right?” He grimaced and shook his head.
“Quite right.”
After Evan roared off in his SUV, Rick once again hiked through Monroe Park, this time carrying a wrapped Egg McMuffin and a steaming cup of coffee. He spotted his quarry sitting on his usual paint-chipped bench.
“Here you are, chap, I brought you some breakfast.” Rick scooted onto the bench next to him and tried to ignore the strong smell of unwashed skin.
He regarded Rick with suspicion. “Is that really for me?”
“Yes, here.”
He didn’t take the sandwich. “You’re the one looking for Ker.”
“Yes, I am. Have you seen her?”
“She don’t want to be found.”
Rick nodded, his heart racing though he kept a serene expression on his face. “Here, this is for you even if you don’t know where Kerry is. I don’t want you to go hungry.”
Finally, Harold accepted the offering. He unwrapped the sandwich and gobbled it down in two bites, as if afraid Rick might take it back. He sipped the scalding coffee before asking, “Why you want Ker?”
“I want to help her. An employer left a message on my answering machine saying she wants Kerry to start work right away. This could be what she needs to get back on her feet.”
Harold regarded his feet. “I think she’s scared. Is she scared of you?”
Rick immediately shook his head. “Not me, but I do think she’s scared of someone.”
“The street is hard. Too hard for someone like her.”
“Yes, it is. I can help her.”
Harold nodded. “Last night she slept by the bakery. This morning she said she might try the library to keep cool. They always kick the likes of me out, but she don’t have that look yet.”
Rick jumped up, anxious to find her. “Thanks. In case I don’t find her, tell her to call.”
“I did. She don’t wanna be found.”
With a nod, Rick sprinted to his BMW at the curb. The library was only a few blocks away, but he wanted to get there quickly.
* * * *
Kerry had spent some time in the women’s bathroom to avoid prying eyes, then she’d roamed the stacks of books, restlessly treading the same questions in her mind. How could she get out of town without any money and nothing left to hock? Was there a way she could make some quick cash? Should she hitchhike? And, most importantly, where should she go now and would this running ever end? Finally, she carried a stack of books to a study table and reclined in an uncomfortable straight-back chair. She opened Ivanhoe at the top of the stack, but didn’t expect to find solace in reading. Her mind was in too much turmoil.
A hand touched her shoulder and she nearly screamed. Her breath stopped and her heart thudded as she turned to the person behind her.
“Oh, my God, Rick, what are you doing here?” Relief washed over her even as she cringed at his disheveled appearance and fierce eyes. Had he looked for her all night?
He perched in the chair opposite her and met her gaze, which she quickly averted. Clearing his throat, he fidgeted, startling Kerry into looking up. He was clearly upset to lose his normal state of calm. “I just wanted to know you’re okay.”
“I am, as you see.”
“Have you had breakfast?”
Kerry wondered if he could hear her growling stomach across the table. “Not yet. I haven’t gotten around to it.”
“Have you any money?” He watched her closely, until she blinked and looked away.
“No.”
“Why did you leave, I mean, especially after the other night?”
He almost sounded hurt. “Rick, the other night was terrific. It’s not you. You’ve been great.”
“Then why?” She didn’t answer. “Dammit, Kerry, do you not trust me still?” Someone at a nearby table shushed them. “Come on. I’ll get you some breakfast.” He stood and took her arm. “Unless you’d like a scene?”
Kerry stood and let him lead her to his car out front, which they climbed into and he pulled away from the curb. Rick turned onto Broad and before long the pancake place came into view. “Not there,” Kerry said, breaking the long silence. He raised his eyebrows in question, but obligingly drove past. “I had an interview there is all.”
“Ah, that reminds me. There was a message for you on the answering machine, a lady saying she wants you to start work right away. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”
“Someone called? Wow. I didn’t think they would with my lack of convincing references.”
Rick didn’t reply as he steered the car into Denny’s crowded parking lot. He waited until they were seated and had placed their orders before pressing the issue. “Why leave right after you put in all those applications? Honestly, all I can think is that you didn’t like what happened between us. I never wanted to pressure you. We don’t ever have to do that again as long as you stay, and you can stay until you’re on your feet.”
The waitress arrived with their drinks. Kerry split open a packet of sugar and poured it into her coffee. She couldn’t believe that Rick thought her leaving had to do with sex. And if she told him sex had nothing to do with it, would he believe her without explanation? She picked up her mug and took a swig. The hot drink helped to soothe and focus her. Rick had found her. He could just have written her off, said good riddance, but he hadn’t. He cared, and for that he deserved some of her trust. “You don’t need money, right? You’re pretty well set up with your inheritance?”
“Yes,” Rick said slowly, suspiciously. “Why?”
“Because I’m going to tell you information that I don’t think I’d trust you with if you needed money.”
Rick sipped his tea. “Go on.”
“I saw an ad on TV, a missing person’s ad.” She took a deep breath. “For me. It’s offering a substantial reward. I can’t be found. I can’t go back.”
His expression softened. “Because of the evil men you mentioned?”
“Yes. I’m probably being paranoid. The picture looked quite different from how I look now.” This time when Kerry met Rick’s eyes there was something else there, a reminder of the other night. “You see, nothing to do with you.”
Their food arrived and for a while they ate in silence, Kerry taking large mouthfuls. Finally, Rick said, “What’s your plan?”
“Don’t have one really. Get out of town, change my looks again.”
“Which requires money?”
“Yes.”
“I can give it to you, but I think you’d do better to stay.”
“Why?”
“Because where can you go that doesn’t have television? You can’t keep running indefinitely. Perhaps change your looks—however you do that—but then get a job, get your life back.”
Kerry suddenly felt like crying. The food she was trying to swallow turned into a cement lump. She blinked her eyes and averted her face as the waitress asked if they needed anything else. Rick said no and she deposited the check on the table before walking away.
Turning back to Kerry, Rick said, “You know I’m right, don’t you?”
“Did you run away?”
“When?”
“You said you knew evil.”
“There was nothing I could do. It was too late.”
“So you came here?”
Rick tapped the table with his spoon until Kerry laid her hand over his. “The man was a monk, my mentor. He was the man who took me in after my parents died. I revered him.” He sighed. “Recently a friend of mine was murdered. She was a prostitute.”
The story was so similar to her own that she shivered, but didn’t comment, wanting him to continue.
“I had seen them together so I asked Inela about it. Her lack of answer said it all. Then she was dead, strangled. He killed her.”
Inela, that name sounded familiar. Had he mentioned her before? “Was he arrested?”
“No, there was no evidence, just a f
eeling I had. Lack of evidence is the reason I give myself for not pursuing it, but sometimes I think I took the coward’s way out. I just don’t think I could have been the one to turn him in after all he’d done for me.”
Kerry just nodded, thinking about his revelation. “Perhaps he wasn’t the murderer?”
“Perhaps.”
Then she remembered. He’d said Inela’s name that first night, when he’d been touching her so intimately. Was that why he’d suddenly asked her to leave? “Who was she to you, this Inela?”
“A friend, a very good friend.”
Kerry wondered whether there was more to it than that, but at the moment he looked so sad that she didn’t pry. “So you lost your faith and came here?”
“I think I still have faith. I think it has changed, is changing. And I now have a world of possibilities available to me.”
Kerry sipped her cooling coffee as she pondered Rick’s story. She knew she had to tell him her own. She trusted him as much as she could trust anyone right now. “I witnessed a murder,” she said finally.
Rick’s eyes widened. “Why aren’t you under police protection instead of running away?”
“I didn’t tell the police.” Kerry stared at the congealing food on her plate, unable to face Rick’s condemnation.
“Why not?” he asked quietly.
“I was scared. Perhaps it’s stupid to be so scared, but my fiancé—my ex-fiancé—comes from a powerful family that has connections in high places.”
“Your ex-fiancé murdered someone?”
“Yes, a prostitute. He strangled her with his bare hands while I watched.”
“He knew you were there?”
“Yes, or maybe I could have gotten help. He was aware of me the whole time. When I reached for the phone, he threatened to kill me too, before the cops could get there, and I believed him.” Kerry took a shaky breath. “But the worst part is that he called my father to help him get rid of the body.”
“He did what?” Rick’s exclamation caused several diners to turn their heads. He lowered his voice to a whisper. “And your father came?”
“He did. I heard his voice. Jason didn’t want him to know I was there, though, so he told me to hide in the bedroom. Jason figured that my father would cover up the death of a prostitute for his future son-in-law, but that he might not take kindly to his daughter as witness. How insane! I still can’t believe it, any of it. I knew Jason had a nasty temper. I even knew I had to leave him despite my family, but I didn’t know he was capable of cold-blooded murder.”
“Your family wanted you to stay with him? Did you tell them about his temper before this?”
“Yes, repeatedly, and each time they convinced me how important this marriage was, not only to my future status, but to theirs as well. They told me I was imagining things, that I would have everything any woman could ask for and had no right to complain.” Kerry gestured to her clothes and duffel bag. “And I did, too. I had designer clothes, jewelry, a Lexus. I could eat caviar and drink champagne every night, as long as Jason approved.”
“Did he approve?”
“Less and less every day. Little criticisms, little demands, and I gave in, thinking he knew best, but now I see clearly how he wanted to control everything about me. It wasn’t an issue of grooming me for society. It was all about controlling me completely.” The napkin crumpled in her fist.
“Anyway, while he and my dad were in the living room, I shoved a few things in a bag and sneaked out the back. I kept out of sight until I was in a different part of town where no one would recognize me.”
Rick reached his hand across the Formica tabletop and cupped Kerry’s chin. His thumb stroked the scar on her cheek. “And this?”
The scar. She’d forgotten. That was the benefit of having no mirrors to look into. She touched his hand, trying to keep her hand from shaking. “Jason and two of his men tracked me to a bus station in LA and Jason shot me before I could get away.”
Rick continued to stroke her heated skin, but his eyes had grown glittery, almost hard. “He tried to hurt you.”
“Yes.”
“So what do you want to do? Do you want some money so you can run again, or do you want to stay? I’ll help you either way.”
Kerry gazed into his eyes for several moments as she weighed her options. Finally, she said, “You’re right. Running isn’t going to make much difference in the end. My only hope is that he’ll decide I’m already dead or that my absence means I’m not a threat to him anymore and he can stop looking.”
Rick left a tip on the table and took the check to the cashier to pay. They stepped out into the sweltering sunshine. “So, how do you change your looks?”
Kerry smiled. “Let’s stop at a drug store and I can pick up a few things.” She paused. “That is, if you’ll pay.”
Rick started the car and turned the a/c to high. “You know I will.”
“Rick, Evan’s right, you know. I am taking advantage of you.”
“Kerry, I want to help and my eyes are wide open, so don’t waste time feeling guilty. Plus, it sounds like you have a job, so soon you won’t need me at all.”
She pressed her hands between her thighs to hide the fact that they shook. Not need him? She couldn’t imagine it. And right now she feared that more than anything else.
* * * *
Kerry bought a dark chestnut hair dye and a haircut kit as well as some make-up. She chose warm shades that would blend well with the reddish tints in the hair color, but that were darker and more daring than the neutrals she had worn in the past. Of course make-up in this weather may not be a good idea at all, as it was likely to melt.
Once back at Rick’s, Kerry listened to the phone message from the employer. It was the woman from the pancake place. She must not have called Kerry’s references, but wanted her to think she had. Kerry didn’t mind that at all. She smiled as she spoke to the woman on the phone. She would start work this evening. Energy surged through her at the thought, though she hadn’t slept well last night. As she sat on the toilet and applied color to her hair, she said a short prayer to whichever greater power had brought about this good fortune. Once set, rinsed and conditioned, her hair appeared dark and rich, not a bad tone with her skin color.
Pleased, she entered the bedroom to find Rick lounging against the headboard, arms crossed behind his neck. She focused on his strong triceps and the squareness of his jaw. He whistled. “I like it.” Then, with a devilish grin, he lifted his hand, revealing the scissors. “My turn.”
Kerry had extreme misgivings about this part of the plan. “Are you sure you know how to do this?”
“No, but I’ll learn.” He stood and Kerry backed away. “You can always go to the salon later and fix anything I do to it, but at least you’ll look completely different before your next public appearance.”
Kerry patted her hair protectively. “Okay, but let’s go down to the kitchen. Easier clean up.”
She sat a chair in the center of the kitchen and tucked a towel into her collar to help catch the hair. After inhaling a nerve-fortifying breath, she reclined in the chair, closed her eyes, and crossed her fingers. Rick ran a comb through her still-damp locks, then spent a few minutes lifting different strands. Kerry opened her eyes. “What are you doing?”
“I’m thinking.”
“Uh-oh.” Kerry smirked. She closed her eyes again and relaxed as Rick’s fingers threaded through her hair, moving it this way and that. Her breath caught and her heart started racing. Rick’s hands stilled as if he sensed her reaction, but then she heard the scissors snipping and chunks of hair hit the floor.
Twenty minutes later, Rick said, “Well, you better see for yourself.”
Kerry stood and shook herself off before running up the stairs to the bathroom. Wow, what a difference! The cut was somewhat uneven and wispy, but with it she looked younger, more hip. Rick came up behind her looking doubtful. “Well?” he asked.
“I love it! It looks more like me tha
n I ever looked in California. Do you know what I mean? Like how I would have chosen to look if I’d stop listening to everyone else.”
Rick put his hands on her shoulders. “I’m glad you like it.” His voice was low and husky.
Kerry met his eyes in the mirror. “Thank you.” She turned to face him. His hands gripped her arms, pulled her close.
“I want to touch you,” he said. “But I’m afraid you think you’re obligated.”
“I want you to touch me. I like it when you touch me.” Kerry smoothed a thatch of hair from Rick’s face then cupped his cheek, which was rough with stubble. He’d had yet to shave or even sleep, Kerry guessed. “You look tired, though. I’ve caused you a lot of problems. Would you like me to cook something for you while you take a nap or shower or whatever?”
Rick’s smiled drowsily. “A nap might be a good idea, then a shower.” He yawned. “I think I’ve been running on adrenaline until now. But you don’t have to cook.”
“Are you afraid my cooking will poison you?”
He grinned. “Well…”
Kerry pushed against his chest playfully. “Actually it might.”
“Why don’t you take a nap with me? I can’t imagine you slept well last night either and you’ve got to go to work soon, right?” He pulled her into the bedroom. The clock showed she had two hours before the start of her new job.
“Okay, but we need to actually sleep, right?”
Rick left the room to change into a pair of sweats. Kerry put on one of his T-shirts, which reached mid-thigh. She slid under the sheet but pushed the blanket away. Too hot for blankets even with the a/c pumping. Rick returned and closed the blinds against the afternoon sun before slipping into bed next to Kerry. They lay on their backs awkwardly until Kerry shifted onto her side and faced the closet. Rick’s arm slid around her waist as his body spooned hers. With his warmth cocooning her, she fell asleep.
*
Despite a lack of sleep, Rick lay with his eyes open for quite some time. The fruity scent from Kerry’s hair tickled his nose and the feel of her soft breasts sent tingles along his arm and through his body. His thoughts wandered as he practiced pranayama, deep breathing. Soon his heart rate slowed, but still he couldn’t sleep. He felt something like sadness well within him, a bittersweet longing for touch in all the years since his mother’s death. His mother had been a touching person. She would kiss both cheeks in greeting and lay her hands on a person’s arm when talking. A lingering hug said, “Goodbye,” and she would often place her forehead against Rick’s and look in his eyes as she said, “I love you.” He recalled how often his mom and dad held hands or hugged. At night they would often dance close next to the campfire, or his mother would simply lean back against his father’s chest and close her eyes. Rick had felt safe and cherished, knowing that his parents loved him as well as one another.