“I just wish I hadn’t messed up so bad,” Derek said. “I’ve missed so much time with her.”
“But you still have a lot of time left,” Zella said. “Times she’ll actually remember.”
“I know,” Derek said, nodding. “But I was thinking one day … what will I do when she finds out what I did?”
“You mean the drugs?” Zella asked.
Derek nodded. It was a fear that hung over him, but he hadn’t mentioned it to anyone. Not even Dr. Olsen. He didn’t know why he was sharing it with Zella now. There was just something inviting and kind about her. Something that made her easy to talk to.
“I think she’ll be proud of you,” Zella said.
“Proud? Are you kidding?” Derek asked.
“She’ll see how hard you worked to overcome your addiction and get better,” she said. “I’m sure you did it as much for her as you did for yourself. That says a lot about the man you are. Not everyone has that kind of strength.”
He tilted his head questioningly, sensing there was deeper meaning to her words. She stood abruptly and began clearing the table. He was curious about what she’d said, but he decided not to press her. Together, they put away the leftovers and cleaned up.
“I should get going,” Zella said. “Thanks for dinner, Derek.”
“Thanks for staying,” he said. “You’re pretty good company.”
For a brief moment, he was transported back to that day in Arizona when he’d driven her to the airport. Standing next to her, just a few inches separating them. And that smile, drawing his attention to her lips. He was again thinking about kissing her. Instead, he cleared his throat uncomfortably and opened the door to let her out.
She smiled. “Have a good night. Enjoy your little break.”
He nodded and stood in the doorway, watching until she was in her car and out of the driveway.
Once she was gone, Derek sat down on the couch and turned on the television. ESPN popped onto the screen, and he cringed when he saw the news about his arm scroll across the bottom. He hated everyone knowing he was injured.
He started flipping through the channels, trying to find something more interesting to watch, but his mind kept wandering to Zella. He thought about the sight of her in the airport, the way she chewed him out in the parking garage, her presence at the doctor’s office, her laugh, and her kind words. He also spent plenty of time thinking about the way her tiny hand felt in his at the doctor’s office and the fact that he’d again entertained the idea of kissing her. This time, it wasn’t a car horn that stopped him. It was all him. And his fear. For some reason, the idea of kissing Zella was terrifying. Intriguing, but terrifying.
Being around Zella was another story though. He looked for her the next few days when he went to the ballpark to work out. He often spotted her car in the parking garage, but he never actually saw her. On the third day, he finally went up to her office.
“What are you up to?” she asked. “I hope you’re following doctor’s orders with that arm.”
“I am,” he said. “He didn’t say I had to quit working out completely. And, honestly, I’d probably go crazy if I did.”
“Fair enough,” she said. “So what brings you up here?”
“I wanted to see if you wanted to get lunch with me,” he said.
“Oh,” she said.
He couldn’t quite read her tone or expression. There was some surprise, but something else he couldn’t quite pinpoint.
“I don’t know anyone else around here, and I’m getting kind of lonely,” he said. “So what do you think?”
“I think I’d like that, but … I can’t today,” she said.
“Oh,” he said. “Too much work?”
“Not exactly,” she said. “My parents are coming to visit, so I’m going to have a late lunch with them.”
“Oh, that sounds nice,” he said. “Well, have fun.”
He turned to go, more disappointed by her declining his invitation than he expected to be.
“Would you … would you want come?” Zella asked. “We won’t go until two, but … I’m sure they won’t mind if you join us.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to get in the way of family time,” Derek said.
“It’ll be fine. They’re staying through Opening Day, so I’ll have plenty of family time with them,” Zella said. “I’m sure they’d love to meet you, actually. They’re big fans.”
Derek smiled. “It’s settled then. Text me and let me know when and where I should meet you.”
Zella met her parents at the restaurant and had to amend their party size to four, which surprised Arnold and Cheryl. They were even more surprised when Derek Beaman took the fourth chair at their table. They greeted him warmly, but Zella didn’t miss the curious looks from both of her parents. She was sure she’d be answering questions about it later. For now, she was amused watching her father nearly trip over his words as he talked baseball with the Pioneers pitcher. After discussing favorite players, Derek regaled them with stories from his minor league days.
“What else are you going to do during your visit?” Derek asked them.
“Zella is taking us to the Opening Day game,” Cheryl said. “We’ve never been to the first game of the season, so we’re pretty excited.”
“It’s always a fun day,” Derek said.
“At some point, we’re going to try and squeeze in a tour of the ballpark,” Arnold said.
“We could do that this afternoon,” Derek said. “I’d be happy to show you around.”
“Oh, surely you have better things to do,” Cheryl said.
“Not really. I have to rest my arm, and the rest of the team won’t get back from Arizona until tomorrow,” Derek said. “Besides, Zella’s been really good to me. The least I can do is make sure her family sees the ballpark.”
Zella blushed a little. There was implication in Derek’s words that he probably didn’t intend. There were surely more questions piling up in her parents’ heads.
“Well, then, I guess we’d be rude to turn down such a fine offer,” Arnold said.
The men fought over the bill when it arrived, but Derek eventually let Arnold take it. The scenario was only generating more suspicions for her mother, Zella was sure.
“There’s really no sense in taking three cars,” Derek said when they stepped outside. “If you all want to ride with me, I can bring you back here after the ballpark.”
They all agreed and soon Zella was in the passenger seat while her parents rode in the back.
At the ballpark, Derek gave Zella’s parents a tour unlike anything they could have paid for. And he had more information and stories to share than Zella would have. She was amused when Derek set up the pitching machine and let Arnold and Cheryl each take a few swings in the batting cages. Zella even took a turn, embarrassing herself in the process as she failed to put the bat on any of the balls that zoomed past her.
“We might need to work on that,” Derek said, laughing as she took off the helmet and rejoined them outside the netting.
Zella could almost swear he was flirting with her.
The clubhouse looked different than the last time Zella visited. There were now names above all the lockers in preparation for the team’s return. The new season was looming, and the ballpark was nearly ready. As the tour continued, there were many photos taken in the dugout, where everything had a fresh coat of paint, and on the field, where the lawn was very carefully manicured. Zella’s parents insisted on taking a photo with Derek, and he didn’t even hint at protesting. In fact, he made sure there were multiple photos.
“How about a picture of Derek and Zella?” Cheryl suggested.
“Oh, Mom … that’s not necessary,” Zella said.
“No, it’s fine. Just make sure I get a copy of the photo,” Derek said, putting an arm around Zella and pulling her against him.
Zella smiled while her mother snapped a few photos with her digital camera. She hoped her smile looked casual and ha
ppy and reflected none of the nerves she was currently feeling. Being pressed against Derek like this, his hand low on her back, was creating a stir inside of her. Warmth spread from the area of contact and tingles followed the heat.
She felt like her face was still flushed as Derek drove them back to their cars a short while later. They said their goodbyes to Derek, and Zella gave her parents driving directions to her place. She tried to calm her insides and brace herself for the inevitable barrage of questions from her parents.
They didn’t wait long either. As soon as they were inside Zella’s apartment, her mother mentioned Derek. Zella reminded them she had told them about the Kiwanis Club lunch she attended with Derek and made it clear nothing else was going on.
“He seems very fond of you,” Cheryl said. “You didn’t mention you’d been spending time with him.”
“I really haven’t,” Zella said. “I mean, he gave me a ride to the airport in Arizona, and I went with him to the doctor the other day, but that’s about it.”
“He kept calling you his friend,” Arnold said. “I certainly hope that’s all it is.”
“It is,” Zella said. “We’re just friends.”
“Good. Because in addition to it being unprofessional, dating a guy with his past would be a terrible idea,” Arnold said.
“Arnold,” Cheryl chastised. “He’s a fine young man. Zella could date him if she wanted.”
“Really?” Arnold said. “You’d want her to date an addict?”
“He’s recovered, Dad,” Zella said. “He really is a good man. You need to look beyond his past. I don’t know why we’re talking about this. Derek and I aren’t dating. It’s not like that at all.”
“OK. If you insist,” Arnold said. “But he certainly does seem to like you. And ballplayers – even one without his past – are bad news. Just be careful.”
“I’ll be fine, Dad,” Zella said.
Zella did her best to distract her parents from the subject of Derek over the next few days. She took them to her favorite restaurants in Portland and even a few shops and local museums. She was mostly successful. Derek’s name only came up a dozen or so times between Friday and Sunday. On Monday, however, his name seemed to be on constant stream as the Hansens headed to the ballpark for Pioneers Opening Day festivities. Zella introduced her parents to Kate Marks, who was in her office before the game, as usual. She groaned inwardly when her parents mentioned lunch with Derek and their subsequent ballpark tour. To her credit, Kate merely smiled and said she was glad to hear they had been treated well during their visit. But as she handed the Hansen parents vouchers for the team store and told them to enjoy the game, Kate gave Zella a look. It was one of curiosity and amusement, and Zella had a feeling she was not nearly done fielding questions about Derek.
The problem was that she didn’t know how to answer them. Less than a week earlier, Derek had told her she didn’t know him and said she wasn’t a friend. That evening, he’d changed his tune. He even bought her dinner. It was just Thai takeout, but it was still dinner. He’d talked about some fairly personal subjects, and when he walked her to the door, he looked at her in a way that seemed to imply things had shifted between them. Then, all the business with her parents and the flirty comments during the ballpark tour. She was more confused than ever about where she stood with Derek.
With her mind so preoccupied, she was missing out on some of the Opening Day fanfare. She sat next to her parents in seats just above the Pioneers’ dugout, watching as each of the players on the roster was introduced and took their place in a line along the first base line. She took a sip of her Deschutes Fresh Squeezed IPA as the announcer started in on the pitchers, and she had a hard time hiding her smile as Derek jogged out to join his teammates. He was in full uniform and she had to admit he wore it well.
Derek was smiling too. He scanned the crowd, his gaze stopping when it met hers. They only looked at each other for a few moments before he quickly looked away and she wasn’t all that surprised to see disappointment mixed with joy in his expression. Today was surely bittersweet for him. He was supposed to be starting game two of the season. Instead, he’d be sitting on the bench for an undetermined length of time, waiting for his arm to heal. Also, his family had chosen not to make the trip for Opening Day and instead would be waiting until he was healthy and pitching again. He told Zella and her parents this the previous day, and even though he understood why they skipped Opening Day, he was clearly saddened not to get to share this day with them.
The announcer introduced the New York Mets, the Pioneers’ first opponent of the year. A vocalist from some reality talent show sang the National Anthem. Then, it was time for the first pitch. The crowd roared as Pioneers ace Zach Sutter delivered a strike to start the season. There were many more of those over the next few innings – strikes and cheers. Sutter pitched six innings, during which he struck out seven and allowed just one run. Meanwhile, the Pioneers offense put four runs on the board, including one on a Reid Benjamin monster home run. The Portland bullpen made the game a little more interesting, but the home team still won by a score of 4-3. It was closer than anyone would have liked, but a win was a win.
Zella only half-watched the game. The rest of the time, she was watching her parents as they watched the game. She was trying to take in everything about their first Opening Day in a ballpark. No one cheered louder for Reid’s home run than Arnold and Cheryl Hansen. She was pretty sure Arnold was the first one on his feet when Zach Sutter left the mound. And they remained in their seats for a good while after the final out, still looking out at the field.
“What a great game,” Arnold said.
“A great day, really,” Cheryl said.
“I agree. I’m glad you both had a good time,” Zella said. “Ready to go downstairs?”
“Downstairs?” Arnold asked.
“Yeah, Derek texted me. He wants to see you before you leave,” Zella said.
“Aw. How sweet of him,” Cheryl said.
Arnold looked annoyed but he followed the women anyway. Zella was unnerved by his reaction, but decided not to address it. Instead, she just led them up the stairs and along the concourse until they reached an elevator. Once they were inside, Zella swiped her badge and hit the button for the lower level. She texted Derek to let him know they were on their way down. Her parents had been down there a few days earlier on their tour, but it was different now, filled with players, press, and other ballpark staff. Getting through the hallways was a bit more difficult. Finally, as they neared the clubhouse door, they spotted Derek. He seemed to see them at the same time, waving and making his way over to them.
“So how did you enjoy the game?” he asked.
“The bullpen could be a little sharper, but everything else looked good,” Arnold said.
“Dad!” Zella said.
Derek laughed. “No. He’s right. Those last few innings weren’t pretty.”
“But a win’s a win,” Cheryl said.
“Very true,” Derek said. “At the end of today 16 teams will be undefeated, and we’re one of them. It won’t last forever, but we’ll take it.”
“Too bad you aren’t taking the mound tomorrow. Then the winning streak would go at least one more day,” Arnold said. “Any idea how long you’ll be out?”
Derek shifted on his feet, and Zella had to bite her lip to keep from chastising her father again.
“Not a clue,” Derek said. “I go back to the specialist in a few days to see how things look.”
“Well, once you’re back out there, we might have to make another trip down here to watch you pitch,” Cheryl said.
“That’d be great,” Derek said, smiling. “Let me know if you need tickets.”
“I can handle that request, but thanks,” Zella said.
“Oh yeah, I forget your job probably has some perks,” Derek said.
“Plenty of them,” Zella said.
She didn’t intend for her response to be suggestive, but Derek’s smile gre
w and she thought she noticed a slight blush.
Arnold cleared his throat. “We should get going if we want to get home at a decent time.”
“Right,” Zella said. “I’ll take you back to your car so you can be on your way.”
“Oh … before you go,” Derek said.
He reached into the pocket on his hoodie and pulled out a baseball, handing it to Arnold, who looked confused.
“One of the game balls,” Derek explained. “You should have it to remember your first Opening Day game.”
“That’s so sweet of you,” Cheryl said.
“Yes, thanks Derek,” Arnold said, extending his hand to shake Derek’s.
It seemed like a reluctant gesture on her father’s part, but Zella was pleased at his offer. Her mother followed with a handshake of her own.
“Have a safe trip back,” Derek said. “See you later, Zella.”
He disappeared into the clubhouse.
“Are you seeing him later?” Cheryl asked Zella as they made their way to the parking garage.
“Not today. He was just generalizing,” Zella said. “Obviously, we’ll see each other around. We both work in the same place.”
“Right, of course,” Cheryl said.
Zella noticed her father didn’t say a word. Again, she decided not to address it.
The game traffic was mostly gone by the time they exited the parking garage. They were able to get on the freeway with ease, and Zella pulled into her apartment complex a half hour later. Her parents were eager to get on the road, so they made quick work of their goodbyes.
When they were gone, Zella looked at her phone, noticing she had missed a text message from Derek.
“I really liked your parents. I hope they had a good time at the game.”
“They did. It helped that the Pioneers won, but I think they would have enjoyed it either way.”
“That’s good. Are you free on Thursday?”
Zella’s heart started pounding. How could five simple words have that effect?
“Well, I have to work. Why?”
“I was hoping you could go to my appointment with me.”
Behind in the Count: A Portland Pioneers Novel Page 13