by Ani San
‘Do you mind if I take a picture? My friends back home won’t believe that I actually met a frickin movie star.’
‘Actually, I do mind. Sara, can I talk to you for a minute?’
‘Christopher, that’s probably not a good idea,’ Julia said, looking around with a fake smile on her face.
‘I was just going to find Alice,’ I said, finally getting out of Erik’s grip. I turned to run away, but Christopher caught up with me and steered me to an empty hallway.
‘What the hell are you doing with that guy?’ he asked through clenched teeth.
‘Nothing. He showed up today, and Alice invited him.’
‘He said he is your boyfriend.’
I didn’t care that his eyes were angry, I loved watching in to them anyway. I had to concentrate to hear his words.
‘He has been saying it all night, it doesn’t mean it’s true.’
‘Then why don’t you correct him?’
I didn’t understand. Why did he care? Is this the reason he is angry, or is he angry because he still believes I rat to the journalist?
‘I tried, several times. What’s it to you, anyway?’ My eyes drift to his lips, and I wonder if they taste the same.
‘He is the guy who abused you isn’t he. I can’t believe you would go back to him.’
‘I haven’t. He’s not… I’m not with him. I told you, he just showed up.’
‘Hey, what’s going on?’ Erik came up behind us.
‘You stay away from her, you hear?’ Christopher turned to him, almost shouting the words. The people near the hallway turned and looked at us curious.
‘Hey, man. I don’t have a problem with you’ Erik held up his hands, palms towards Christopher. ‘What’s going on, Sara?’ he said, switching to Norwegian.
‘I think maybe you should leave, Erik,’ I said, in English so Christopher would understand it too. This was getting us too much attention. Alice came rushing too.
‘What’s going on, guys?’ she said, looking at me for an explanation.
‘I need to go,’ I told her. She held her hand out to me, and I took it as I walked passed both Christopher and Erik.
‘Wait, Sara. You are not leaving me,’ Erik said, grabbing my sleeve.
‘Let me go, Erik. Please.’ I really needed to get out of here.
‘Get your goddamn hands off her,’ Christopher said, gripping Erik’s hand. Now we definitive had peoples attentions.
‘What’s your problem, man? Get your hands off of me.’
‘Let go of her.’
‘She is my girlfriend, I can do whatever I want to her. In fact, I’m going to take her home and fuck her from here to eternity, how about that?’ It was typical Erik to say something stupid just to provoke. I should have stopped him from drinking all the champagne. I could have prevented this.
Obliviously, for some reason, Christopher got provoked. I didn’t understand what was happening before Erik was on the floor, with blood flowing from his nose. Christopher was shaking his hand as in pain, and his eyes were fixed on me, anger searing through. Then Alice dragged me away as security came to handle the situation.
I had trouble breathing, and focused on taking slow and deep breathes as Alice got me through the location and out the door. I felt flashes of lights hit me, and Alice held up her purse to hide my face. This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening, this isn’t happening.
Somehow, Alice managed to get a hold of a taxi, while people where swarming around us snapping pictures and asking questions. I didn’t remember the cab drive, suddenly the taxi was in front of the building, and Alice shoved me up the stairs and in the door. Frank came and met us.
‘Don’t let anybody inside. Don’t tell anyone her name. Don’t say anything,’ Alice barked at a stunned Frank, while she dragged me to the elevator. As soon as we stopped walking, I sunk on my knees.
‘Oh, no, you don’t. Get up.’
‘Please. Just let me die.’
‘Not on my watch. What happened?’
We were out of the elevator now, and she took the card from my purse and got us inside. My phone was ringing. Alice took it, and hung up after a second.
‘Fuck. That didn’t take them long.’
‘Who was it?’ I asked, not bothering to ask why she would answer my phone for me.
‘You need a new number.’
‘What?’
‘They know your name. They know your phone number, and it wont take long before they know where you live.’
‘Who?’ I knew it before she answered.
‘The fucking paparazzi.’
And then my hyperventilation hit.
I was floating. All around me was darkness, pressing itself around my body. But the air came natural despite the pressure. I could breathe again. And I felt calm, despite the black. This was ok. I could stay here and be ok. I knew if I opened my eyes, a terrible reality would come rushing, so I kept them closed. I was ok.
‘How is she?’
Someone was talking in my living room. Reality was forcing it self on me. I didn’t want that. I squeezed my eyes harder to kept the light out. I knew I was in my bed, but I didn’t know how I got here. The light shone through the window, creating a red light behind my eyelids. I could feel the sun warming my face. Wasn’t it supposed to be evening? There was something that had happened. Something bad. But I couldn’t remember what. I didn’t want to remember. I wanted the darkness again.
‘It’s bad. I didn’t know what to do.’
It was Alice’s voice. She was here before, she helped me breathe. Why was I having trouble breathing? Then she gave me a glass of lemonade, and I got all tired. I’m so tired.
‘Is she awake?’
‘I gave her some sedative as soon as I got her to breath normal.’
‘Good. I’ll take it from here. I have a driver waiting in the basement that can take you home. There are still a few photographers outside.’
‘Are you sure you can handle this? I can stay. Maybe you should call her father?’
‘I’m handling it. Thank you for your help, Alice.’
‘She’s my friend. I worry about her.’
‘I know. I worry too.’
The darkness gave me mercy again, because the next time I woke, there was night outside. I felt rested but groggy. I got up and went to the bathroom, and realised I was still in my zebra dress.
I heard a man’s voice from the living room. It sounded like Alfred. What was he doing here? Alice must have called him. Why? As I stared into the bathroom mirror and saw rivers of mascara down my cheeks, it all came back to me. Erik. Christopher. He was still angry. He had hit Erik. Then I remembered the people looking at us, the photographers, Alice dragging me home. Now Alfred was here. How bad was it?
I cleaned myself up and changed to some sweats. Then I went to face him. He was standing by the window, talking to someone on the phone. When he saw me, he hung up.
‘You look like shit.’ It was a strange word to hear from a distinguished guy like Alfred. He had always sounded so professional. I must have really screwed things up.
‘I feel like shit too,’ I answered, and walked past him into the kitchen. I needed coffee.
He followed me, and watched as I filled my mug with Intenso. Maybe I should have stayed in bed. I shoved the curtain to the side and looked outside. A man was standing on the sidewalk with a huge camera lens pointed towards me. I quickly let go of the curtain and took a step back.
‘Quite a mess you made out there,’ Alfred said dryly.
‘It wasn’t my fault’ I answered defensively.
‘It doesn’t make the mess any smaller, non-the-less.’
‘I know. Can you fix it?’
‘I’m not sure. Your frontline news girlie. Your father is rather upset about the whole thing.’
Oh, God. Like I didn’t have enough to deal with.
‘I’m sure he is all heartbroken. Or is he afraid his “secret” is going to surface?’
�
��You know he cares about you.’
‘Bullshit!’ I didn’t want to talk about him. ‘Can you fix this or not?’
‘You probably need to leave London. In any case, you need to move out of this apartment. They know where you live.’
‘Is it Erik? Is he the one who ratted me out?’
‘No. He came by earlier, right after I got here. I told him that he would be wise to keep his mouth shut, because I had some pretty condemning hospital records from two years back, and a few witness statements.’
‘I never pressed charges against him.’
‘I know, but as long as we have the evidence, it doesn’t mean you can’t do it later. I would love to see his face behind bars.’
‘Did Alice tell you that he just showed up at my apartment?’
‘Yes. I never told her about him. I regret that now. I didn’t think he would find you.’
‘Well, we can thank your secretary for that,’ I answered grimly.
He cursed low; I had never heard him curse before. He must be really stressed out. I hoped he got fairly compensated for having to take care of me. At my age, he shouldn’t have to, though. I should be adult enough to take care of myself.
‘Julia Petrelli is the one who gave them your name.’
‘What?’ I couldn’t believe it.
‘Yes. Apparently she dropped a press release stating that her husband had an affair with you, and that they had reconciled and was now working on they’re marriage. The event at the premiere was a misunderstanding, and had nothing to do with his affair. She asked that the press would leave them alone in this difficult time.’
‘She said that? Seriously?’
‘Yes. She also said that you had seduced her husband in a weak moment, but that she forgave him and that she had chosen to look past this moment of weakness.’
‘That mother fucking bitch from hell. So I’m the bad guy?’
‘Yes, from her point of view it would seem so. The press is eating it alive. They want your side of the story.’
‘Well, I’m not giving it. Fuck.’
‘Anna Turner called.’ He waited for my reaction.
‘What? Why? What did she say?’
‘She was worried about you, and wanted to know if you were all right. I told her you had a stressful summer, and that you needed to be left alone.’
‘What? Why?’
‘He isn’t good for you. The sooner you realise that the better. And do you really need more press cover?’
‘It was already over,’ I muttered.
‘It didn’t look that way to me.’
‘Look, I don’t know what happened. Erik is pretty good at provoking people.’
‘Yes, well the situation is the same no matter how it happened. I doubt you can leave this apartment any time soon. The best is if we can move you elsewhere. Is there anywhere you would like to go? Do you want to go back home?’
‘I’m not going back home. I want to go as far away as possible.’
‘I have an old friend who is a professor in Newcastle. I can try to get you in there, if you’d like to continue studying art.’
‘Newcastle isn’t far enough. I need to leave the country.’
‘I meant Newcastle in Australia.’
‘Oh.’ I had never been that far away. That was like the other side of the planet. And it was sunny, and warm and far, far away. I didn’t know anyone there, but I didn’t when I got here either.
‘Yes. I would love to try out Australia. I’m not sure on the school thing, though, but I could give it a try.’
‘Actually, you probably need to enrol to get access to the country, since you are Norwegian. If not, you have to travel on tourist visa, and have a return ticket. You are not allowed to work there unless you do it part time while studying. How are you moneywise?’
‘Fine.’ Honestly, I hadn’t touched much of the trust fond, since I have been living for free, and didn’t go crazy when shopping. I probably spent less than the interest rate. I hadn’t really given it much thought.
‘Well, let me know if there is any problem. I will make sure your student fee is taken care of.’
Wow, my father must be really anxious to get me far away. He bought him self out of it as usual. I didn’t care. I needed to get out of here, and I was glad Alfred helped me achieve it.
It took almost a week before I could leave, and in the meantime I had to stay indoor. Alice was beside herself in self-blame. She had been trying to get me out of the apartment for weeks, and when she finally managed it, it got worse. Now even she had to be sneaked in and out to meet me, because she had been seen with me that night. She brought me some magazines so I could read what they wrote about me, but I didn’t even peak. And I didn’t dare to go online or watch the news. Apparently, they had linked me with the airport photo, so that story was hot too. Alice told me the Petrellis had the main focus, and Julia had apparently gone back to New York. Nobody knew where Christopher was. I tried not to care. I didn’t hear from Erik, and neither Alice nor Alfred mentioned him.
Alfred arranged all the practical bits, and got me enrolled at the University of Newcastle, Fine Art department. He made sure the movers came and removed what I didn’t want to bring, and put it in a storage house. I told them to take everything in the studio, I decided I would buy new equipment when I got there. I also packed away all my books, the stereo and my winter wardrobe. All the furniture belonged to the apartment. Alfred made sure most of my clothes were shipped off separately, so I only had to bring a small suitcase with me on the plane. I wished I could go for one final run in the park. But I knew I couldn’t. I could still see photographers when I glanced out the window. I had to say goodbye to my beautiful apartment with my fantastic view. It was time to move on.
Chapter 15
«In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.»
- Robert Frost
It took a few days before I adjusted to the time difference, the air and the aussie people. The weather wasn’t as warm as I had thought it would be, especially at night. But the sun was shining, and I wore sunblock even if they had winter time here. I loved the smell of the air, all the strange flowers and trees, and the salty ocean. Newcastle was a small coastal city about a hundred miles north of Sidney. I stayed at the house of Alfred’s friend and his wife, until I could find my own place to rent. They had picked me up at the airport, and treated me like they had known me forever. Mrs Mary Durham was a chatter, something she made clear the first time I saw her.
‘My, you are a pretty girl. Now, I’m Marybell Durham, but you can call me Mary. Is that your luggage? Mike will take it. Did you have a pleasant trip? It was long, wasn’t it? Oh, girl, you are too skinny, we have to do something about that. But don’t worry, love, we will fatten you up in no time. I don’t understand girls these days, they don’t eat a thing. My Marybeth is the same. All skin and bones. I used to be a nurse, I know what’s healthy and not, but does she listen to me? Never.’
And then she went on and on about her daughter, before we drove past a church, and she started with the history lessons. I rarely got in a word. Mike Durham didn’t say a thing, he just smiled reassuringly, like he was used to Mary talking people their head off.
They where both very nice, and told me I could stay as long as I wanted. They’re own kids had moved to Sydney and Melbourne, so they thought it was nice to have some youngster in the house again. I was feeling a little old to be called a youngster, but the couple was in their mid sixties, so I supposed to them I was young. Mary had lived in Newcastle all her life, and she told me about the places I had to see. My first stop, though, would have to be the university, because the classes had already started when I got here. And this was the second semester, so I would have to jump right in.
The Durhams had a large house on a hill above Bar beach, and my room had an amazing view of the ocean. It topped having a view of Kensington Gardens, but it didn’t make me miss London any less. The beach was only a
couple of hundred metes down the road, and it stretched forever. Mary told me this was only one of several beaches I Newcastle, and in her mind the very best. But it was too cold to bath now, she told me. I guessed she had never been to Norway. This temperature was summertime for us.
I was walking along the beach in the middle of September, feeling the waves as they curled around my toes. When I closed my eyes and listened to the sea gulls screaming, it felt like being back home. I had lived by the coast then too, and the sound of the waves soothes me. I wasn’t adjusting very well. The main reason was that I didn’t have Alice. I hadn’t realised how an important part she was of my life. She was the one who made sure I didn’t shut myself in, she made me socialize and party and made sure I connected with people. After a month at the university, I had barley spoken with any of my classmates. They were all very outgoing and friendly, and asked me to join them several times, but I chickened out and stayed away. After a while, they stopped asking. I talked with Alice on the phone occasionally, but didn’t tell her how secluded I felt. I knew it was my own fault. I was afraid too, that someone would recognize me. I could still see pictures on the front of magazines of Julia and Christopher, and one time of me too, but I never picked one up and read what the article said. No picture had a full view of my face, Alice had informed me of that, and she had made it her mission to keep track of things. But I had changed my looks anyway. One of the first days in Newcastle was spent at a hairdresser, cutting my long chestnut hair to above the shoulders, and colouring it bright red. It was different, and Mary hadn’t recognised me at first when I got home that day. I still lived with them, and she treated me like her own. It felt nice and secure, but I was afraid I was taking advantages. I told her one day that I would start looking for a place, but she wouldn’t hear it.
‘All the good places are rented out already, you best stay here,’ she had said. ‘I won’t have it any other way. We love to have you here.’ I suspected Alfred had asked them to keep an eye on me, he still treated me like a child.