Chapter 4
He had carried her to the house; he had carried her up the stairs to the room that Ms. Carter had reserved for her. He had tucked her under the covers and tiptoed out of the room. Erin knew all of this because she had been awake for most of it, but had decided to allow him to carry on without interrupting and embarrassing him.
She was lying awake in bed now, with somewhat of a dull throb at the base of her skull. She knew it had to do with the wine. She heard a soft knock on the door and Alicia let herself in without waiting for a response.
“You’re never one to have a lie in,” Alicia said and plonked herself down on the bed beside Erin and slipped in under the covers herself. She was still in her usual silk nightgown and had loosely tied a dressing gown around.
“How are you feeling?” Erin asked her and Alicia groaned in response.
“I had too much to drink and now I feel like I want to die.” She pulled the cover over her head and muffled her voice. Erin laughed a little, but felt an ache in her head and stopped.
“I think I’m going to lie in bed all day,” she said and threw an arm over Alicia. She wasn’t sure, yet, if she should tell her about the previous night with Xavier. Alicia moaned again and turned to snuggle up with Erin.
“This is a good start to the vacation, though. You’ll have forgotten Steve in no time if we keep this up,” Alicia said with her eyes closed. Erin cleared her throat, Alicia knew that was always a sign that she had something important to discuss.
“C’mon, spit it out,” Alicia lifted herself on an elbow and glared at her.
“What do you really think of Xavier?” Erin asked and turned to look at her.
“What do you mean? Other than the fact that he’s delicious?” She smacked her lips and Erin flinched. It was also evident to her that, like always, Alicia did not remember the scene at dinner from the previous night. Once the wine kicked in, Alicia’s memory always started to fail. Erin’s silence provoked her and she crossed her brows.
“What else can you mean, Erin? Tell me now!” She sat up straight and flung her leg over Erin’s waist and sat pillion on her. Erin was expecting a volley of childish tickling and she held up her hands in defense.
“All right, okay. Hold your horses. So…We kinda went for a walk last night after you went to sleep,” Erin began, but Alicia already knew what the rest of the story was going to be. She had clapped her hands to her mouth and fell off Erin dramatically. Her head bouncing off the thick mattress. Erin was laughing but was also a little embarrassed.
“You had sex with Xavier Cowen?” Alicia was squealing and Erin tried to hush her up.
“Keep your voice down, Alicia.” She sat up in bed as well.
“You’ve barely slept with two nerds in your lifetime and then you go and have sex with Xavier Cowen? Are you kidding me?” Alicia couldn’t keep her voice down and Erin fell back down on her pillows, covering her face with her hands.
When she peeped through from between her fingers, Alicia had gotten off the bed and was jumping around the room. The wooden floor of the room squeaked with every thud.
“What are you doing? Stop that. We’re not fifteen anymore,” Erin tried to admonish her, but she couldn’t stop giggling.
“Are you kidding me? You slept with somebody; you slept with Xavier Cowen!” Alicia came over to her and shook her shoulders.
“Do you think he had too much to drink?” Erin asked with a frown and Alicia started pulling her by the arms.
“Come here. Get your butt over here,” Alicia pulled her to the mirror and planted her in front of it. She was towering behind Erin.
Erin peered at herself. Her curls were in complete disarray, she was still wearing the ripped blouse from the previous night and her woolen skirt. Alicia grabbed her breasts out of the blue and Erin squealed.
“What the hell, Alicia!” she shouted at her.
“Own it, Erin. You’ve gotta own it!” Alicia was still squealing from excitement. “Now get yourself cleaned up and make your way downstairs,” she pointed to the en-suite shower and Erin groaned.
“My head ̶ ” she had begun to say, but Alicia widened her eyes.
“This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, Erin. You have to make him drool,” she cut in. Erin sighed and remained standing in front of the mirror.
“What’s wrong now?” Alicia gave her an enthusiastic hug.
“I just don’t want to completely ruin it, you know?” Erin turned to look at her friend.
“Are you saying you actually like him?” Alicia’s smile dropped from her face. This meant trouble. Erin didn’t respond.
“You barely know him, Erin!” Alicia shook her head. “Don’t do this to yourself. You had a good time last night. He’s a movie star.”
Erin nodded in silence. “You’re right. I know you are, but there’s just something about him. I don’t see him as a movie star,” she tried to explain, but Alicia only rolled her eyes.
“You see him as a human being…blah blah blah.” She shoved Erin in the direction of the shower again.
She turned to look at Alicia and pouted. “I don’t want to get my heart broken again. I’m worried. We’re going to be living in close quarters for two weeks now,” she said and Alicia sighed.
“We’ll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow, Erin. Maybe there is potential. If you’re feeling it, maybe he is too. For now, get dressed!” Alicia was authoritative and Erin passed her a mock-salute before locking herself in the shower for an hour.
•••
By the time Erin made her way downstairs, Alicia had already showered, changed and was sitting out in the balcony with Xavier. Erin had changed into a pair of casual navy blue trousers and a wooly lilac sweater. She had bunched up her thick chestnut curls on the top of her head in a messy knot and stayed away from the makeup. He had already seen her in her most vulnerable.
Alicia was much quieter around Xavier this morning than she had been the previous night at dinner. Erin stepped into the balcony, greeted them both with a chirpy good morning, and sat down on the third chair that Ms. Carter had left outside for them. Steaming mugs of tea had been placed on the coffee table in front of them and a plate of a variety of biscuits.
The lake had most definitely frozen the previous night, but not entirely and as the warm sun beat down on it this morning, it was beginning to melt.
“It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?” Erin asked nervously, neither of the other two had spoken and she didn’t want to make eye contact with Xavier yet.
“It’s beginning to grow on me all right,” Alicia said with a sigh and reached for her mug of tea.
“Did you sleep well last night?” Erin turned her face to Xavier but could feel her cheeks burning. He had finally looked at her; he looked drowsy and tired, like he hadn’t gotten any sleep the previous night.
Before he could answer, Alicia broke into a giggle which she immediately tried to subdue. But it was too late. Erin threw Alicia a threatening look but she had also noticed Xavier’s face fall and a certain kind of resentment build up in his eyes.
“I did, thank you for asking,” he said curtly and stood up from his chair. Within a second, he was gone from the balcony, and Erin and Alicia were left sitting by themselves.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry Erin. I didn’t mean to. I couldn’t control it,” Alicia said and leaned forward to grab Erin’s arm. She pulled it away from Alicia’s touch.
“Why do you always have to jeopardize everything? Why can’t you ever bear to see me happy?” she nearly yelled at Alicia before getting up to follow him inside.
“I’m sorry, Erin. I really am.”
She heard Alicia pleading but ignored her. She hurried inside and caught sight of Xavier’s figure disappearing in a huff up the stairs. She didn’t know exactly what to say or do, but she followed him upstairs anyway.
“Xavier, can we please talk?” she called after him, just as he was about to enter his room.
He turned to face her and then hel
d the door of his room open for her. He did it in silence and she didn’t know what to expect but stepped into his room and he followed her. She noticed how he gently shut the door but didn’t allow it to close completely. What was he hinting at?
Chapter 5
“You told Alicia about last night.” He said it as a statement rather than asked a question. Erin immediately felt the anger he was hurling toward her. The smile she had tried to plaster on her face had disappeared.
“She’s my best friend. And she would have found out,” she said. She remained standing near the door while he walked over to the bed but didn’t sit down.
“I can’t believe I was that foolish,” he said and ran his hands through his hair. He looked even more handsome in the morning, she thought, but immediately tried to snap herself out of admiring him.
“You weren’t the only foolish one. Evidently,” she said and he looked up at her. His eyes softened, but only for a few seconds.
“You think this was a mistake, because you’re some kind of a celebrity? That it has no effect on my life? Because I’m a lay, man?” she huffed as she spoke and crossed her arms in front of her.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said softly, but Erin could see that he was still worrying about himself, so she rolled her eyes.
He saw her do it and his expression darkened again.
“In fact, Erin, it is exactly like that. My face gets splashed across cheap tabloids because of things like this. I misjudged you,” his voice was still gruff and low pitched, although it was clear to her that he was very close to entirely losing his temper.
“Misjudged me how?” she dared to ask him.
“I thought you’d be able to keep it between us,” he answered, almost immediately.
“Treat it like my own dirty secret?” She was clenching her own arm, her nails were digging into her flesh as she spoke to him. She couldn’t stand to look at him anymore.
“I did not expect you to go gossiping about it with your girlfriend immediately after, that’s all.” He had become even quieter and his prolonged silence made her feel worse.
“I wasn’t gossiping. In fact, I misjudged you too. I didn’t think it was just about the sex,” she spat out the words and whipped away from him. She had spoken her mind, she didn’t care anymore. She didn’t care that he knew she had feelings for him in such a short while. How did it matter anyway? In his attempt to keep it a secret, he wouldn’t exactly go around discussing her with his buddies.
Xavier remained silent and it made Erin more furious.
“You can come off your high horse now, Mr. Xavier Cowen. You might be a celebrity, but you’re just like every other man out there.” She turned to look at him again and she could feel the tears prickling the back of her eyelids. This was such a huge mistake. She didn’t need another man to make her feel like a complete idiot.
“Stop comparing me to your lying cheating ex-boyfriend,” he suddenly thundered and took a few steps toward her. Erin inched away from him, he hadn’t raised his voice before and for a second, it frightened her. His towering frame loomed over her, even though he was still standing a good distance away from her.
“Not just him. You’re like every other man. You saw something you liked, but you only liked it for the night. Now you can’t take responsibility for your actions.” She tried to keep her voice low, tried to frighten him away from her with the ferocity in her eyes.
“Take what responsibility? Do you want a foot massage? A scented love letter? A marriage proposal?” Xavier said with a sarcastic laugh, even though he didn’t look like he had faith in his own joke.
“That’s really rich. Yeah, it makes me laugh.” Erin tried to laugh too. “You think that is what responsibility looks like? You’re so far out. No wonder stupid rom-coms are the only movies you get cast for.” She turned away from him again and made for the door.
But he had stopped her. His hand was gripping her arm now, his fingers embedded themselves in her flesh. She tried to ignore the force with which he was pulling her away and tried to push the door open.
“Come back here,” he said gruffly and pulled her to him. She landed with a thud on his chest, her back to him.
“You can’t just throw something like that at me and try to make a smooth exit,” he spoke through gritted teeth, but softly and into her ear.
“Why, you always get the last word, is that it?” she tried to laugh, but this time she couldn’t. His hands had now traveled up from her arms toward her neck.
“Something like that,” he whispered into her ear again and with one hand, pushed the door shut in front of her.
“Let me go now. Aren’t you afraid I’m going to gossip about this too?” She tried to wriggle herself free, but his grip on her only strengthened.
“You know what? I actually don’t care anymore,” he said and without giving her a second to react, he bent her over. In order to avoid tripping, she placed her hands firmly on the closed door in front of her.
She heard the sound of him flicking open the buckle of his belt and then unzipping. Just the sound of that made her go wet between her legs. She had no idea how he could have this effect on her. She felt his hands grab her butt and give it a squeeze before he reached over to unzip her pants.
He peeled down her pants and then wrapped his arms around her torso, pulling her closer to him. Erin closed her eyes and arched her back. She felt him slide into her as he held her tightly. She could hear him breathing raggedly behind her. His beard scratched against her cheek and ear.
It was the same feeling of being taken, of being owned by him, only this time it was without any restraint. He was pumping into her from behind as she tried to keep herself steady with the door. He was big and hard inside her, and she could feel the ferocity of his thrusts increasing with every passing second. His hands eventually found her breasts underneath the sweater and he squeezed them and played with her nipples. The combination of sensations was too much for her to deal with, she didn’t want to pass out again.
They were both moaning and he eventually let her go, placing his hands on her butt. She was completely bent over, her legs wide apart and he pushed inside her in a quick rhythmic motion. This time, he reached the edge even sooner and so did she. They both came together and she didn’t care how loud they were or that the door squeaked with his every thrust.
He groaned as he emptied himself inside her again and pulled out. Her thighs were still quivering from the intensity of the orgasm, and when he was out of her, she slumped to the carpeted floor.
“Erin,” Xavier said and she turned sleepy exhausted eyes to him. He was standing, naked from the waist down, in front of her and he had his hand stretched out toward her. She took his hand and he helped her up.
“Are you planning on tucking me into bed again?” she asked him with a shy smile. He pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her waist.
“Into my bed, you mean?” he spoke softly into her ear and she couldn’t help but giggle. He led the way and directed her to lie down on his bed. It smelled of him, she pressed her eyes closed and took in a deep breath of his scent. She opened them when she felt the mattress slump, he was getting into bed with her.
“I don’t know how you did it, but you’ve got some kind of hold on me.” His breathing was ragged as he spoke into her ear. His hands had found their way underneath her sweater and she felt a sharp tug on her nipple.
“I thought we were having a nap?” she teased him, just as he started licking her earlobe.
They exchanged looks and broke into laughter.
Chapter 6
It had been three weeks. Three weeks of bliss. Alicia had left the cabin and gone back to the city nearly ten days ago. Erin and Xavier had walked to the lake and were throwing pebbles in, watching them skid over the portions that were still frozen in the lake.
Erin watched Xavier as he laughed, collecting more pebbles from the bank. She had news to give him.
“What are you looking
at?” he asked her when he caught her staring. He jiggled his butt in front of her to tease her into breaking into giggles. He came over to give her a hug, but when he started pulling away, he caught sight of a serious look on her face.
“Wanna tell me what’s going on?” he chucked one of the pebbles toward the lake but didn’t look to see where it had landed.
“I have to get back to work, Xavier. I can’t stay cooped up here with you forever.” Erin bit down on her lip as she spoke, already detecting annoyance in him. He had been trying to avoid this conversation for the past few days.
“You promised we won’t speak about it till the end of the week, Erin. Can we just enjoy the day?” Like a child, he was digging the ground with his shoes. She almost wanted to forget about the important decisions, hug him and stroke his head.
“I have to be back at work by the end of the week. I need to make arrangements now. I can’t keep postponing it.” She tried to remain as calm and collected as possible. He looked up at her sharply.
“You don’t need my permission, Erin. Leave if you want to leave. I can’t stop you.”
“It’s not a question of wanting to leave. I have to. For my work. Just like you should go back to Los Angeles and stop trying to run away. It’s time you took charge of what you want to do.” She reached for him and held onto his arm, but his muscles were tensed. Even though his voice remained steady, it was easy for her to tell that he was now upset.
“So what you’re saying is that we’ll never see each other again?” he spoke after several minutes of silence. He had turned away from her so that she could see him in profile now. His shaggy blue-black beard illuminated in outline by the orange light of the setting sun.
“What do you want, Xavier? You’re the celebrity here. I’m just a simple math teacher.” She let go of his arm and he turned to look at her. They held each other’s gaze for a few seconds till he looked away.
“I don’t want to go back to LA. I don’t want you to go back to Seattle and I most definitely don’t want us to be apart.” When he said it, she smiled. She would never have admitted it, but this is what she wanted to hear from him. Despite having spent three intimate weeks with him, Xavier Cowen was still an enigma to her. She knew he was fond of her, found her irresistible in bed, but she could never be sure what she meant to him, seriously. Now she was convinced. She could see it in his eyes, and the way he refused to look at him.
BREAKER (Forsaken Riders MC Romance Book 14) Page 23