by Bird, Peggy
She laughed. “I guess so.” That would give her an opportunity to tell him about John.
Once they had their slices and were settled at a booth at Pizza My Heart, she tried to figure out the best way to introduce the subject. For once, David seemed happy. He’d found some “cool” machines at the dump — machinery used to sort recyclables and dispose of toxic waste.
“It’s kinda like that stuff that Sarah’s learning about,” he said. “Maybe I should do that, too, when I go to college.”
He tore off another bite. “So are you going to take that job with the bookstore? That’d be crazy. Maybe we could get discounts or something.”
Ah, the perfect opening. “Well, there’s something we need to talk about.”
“It’s okay. I know we’d have less money. But I’d help out — get a job or something.”
“Remember the guy who came to the house to offer the job at the bookstore?”
“Uh-huh,” he mumbled around another bite of pizza.
“Well, we went out on a couple of dates together.”
“I know.” He went silent for a few minutes.
She concentrated on her pizza. One of the things she’d learned from her coach was that silence was a very effective way of communicating.
“I guess that’s okay,” he finally said. “He’s not moving in, is he?”
“No.” John had said he was going to court David and she was going to rely on him to do it.
“I suppose that’s okay, then. What’s Dad going to say?”
“I don’t know. But we’re not going to get back together. You know that.”
“Yeah.” He was silent again.
“Do you think we could still get discounts from the bookstore guy?” He flashed her the grin that had won everyone over when he was younger.
“We’ll see. You can ask him yourself. He’s coming to dinner tomorrow night.”
“Okay.” Her son went back to shoveling pizza in his mouth.
Annie looked at him. He was growing up. Soon he’d be on his own. She hoped she’d raised him right — that he’d be happy and do well with his life. But it was pretty much out of her control now.
It was time for her to move on.
• • •
By four-thirty Sunday afternoon, Annie had trussed the chicken, de-stemmed and washed the spinach, and peeled and quartered the potatoes. It wasn’t a meal Weight Watchers would approve of, but she wasn’t feeding dieting middle-aged women. She was feeding a growing teenage boy and a tall, lanky cowboy.
Her cowboy. All right, he was masquerading as a bookseller, but he looked like he belonged on a horse riding the plains chasing cows. Or maybe taming a bucking bronc.
I’m getting carried away.
She giggled.
When the doorbell rang an hour later, she raced down the stairs to open it. She paused a moment to take a breath before she opened the door.
“These are for you.” John thrust a bouquet of spring blossoms into her hands. He gestured to the cloth shopping bag he’d hung over his shoulder. “I stopped at Staff of Life on my way here.” He stepped inside, leaned down, and kissed her.
A door opening from the downstairs hall made her step back from his embrace. “David,” she whispered.
“Hi,” John said to David as her son emerged from the hall.
“Oh, hi.” David straddled the two steps between the hall and the landing and put out his hand. “How are you?”
“Good. Looking forward to some good home cooking.” John smiled at Annie.
David looked at his mother. “Tell me you’re doing something normal for dinner.” He turned to John. “Sometimes when we have guests she decides to experiment. It doesn’t always turn out too well.”
She poked her son in the ribs. “Is roasted chicken, stuffing, spinach, and mashed potatoes normal enough for you?”
“W-e-ll, maybe not the spinach … ”
“David!” She laughed. She loved her son when he was like this — playful and teasing.
“I thought it was normal except for the potatoes,” John added. “Isn’t there a law somewhere that you can’t have potatoes with stuffing?”
“You guys,” she said with a grin. “Okay … I’ll eat it all myself!”
David leaped past her and raced up the stairs. “Not a chance!”
Annie laughed with pure joy and John joined in. Then he brushed her lips with his. “Got to get this in when no one’s watching.”
Dinner continued with light-hearted banter and conversation. David and John were easy with each other and her meal, complemented by John’s local Pinot noir, was a success.
“Come on, David,” John said after dinner. “Show me where things go in this kitchen so we can clean up. Then I can find out where your mom hid the ice cream I brought.”
Annie started to get up.
“Sit,” John commanded. “You cooked, we’ll clean. Of course, it may take you days before you find everything when we’re through,” he added as he went into the kitchen.
Annie picked up her wine glass, went to the living room and gazed out the window. It was staying lighter later every evening. They only had a few more months of nice days before the coastal fog settled in for the summer. Suddenly a cloud passed over her mood. She had to go into work tomorrow to find out what Randy wanted. What was she going to tell him?
• • •
Annie drove over the hill to San Jose the next morning with mixed feelings. She’d been doing this commute for ten years. It was tiring, but it was routine. Routine had been her lifeline — an antidote to the chaos of living with Fred and single motherhood. Was she ready to take a risk again?
As she made her way to her office, she absently waved to coworkers. She’d come in a little early for her meeting with Randy so she could finish packing up her things. She’d taken most of her personal belongings home weeks ago. She found herself staring out the window at the almond trees and green hills. Soon, summer valley heat would turn the fields brown, leaving the live oaks dotting the hills as the only visible evidence of life.
Glancing at her watch, Annie shook herself from her reverie and tossed the last few binders into the cardboard box. Then she picked up her notepad and walked to Randy’s office.
“Shut the door,” Randy told her when she walked in. He didn’t give her time to sit before he started in. “What did you do in New Jersey? It was your one chance to keep a job. You were a perfect fit.”
“They aren’t making an offer?” she asked.
“They haven’t made up their mind. They want to see you again. Next week. You’re to be personally interviewed by a director — Conrad somebody.” He leaned over his stack of paper. “You’d better get there next week and make it right. You’re running out of time. There’s nothing else — the economy sucks and you know it.”
“I’ll take the layoff.”
“What?”
“You heard me,” Annie repeated. “I’ll take the layoff. I don’t want to move to New Jersey. The job’s impossible, Conrad’s behavior is borderline sexual harassment, and my life is in California. I’ll find something else.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“You always thought so.”
“Your funeral. Pack up your things and let me know when you’re done. We’ll finish the paperwork and you can leave.”
“I’m already packed.”
The next hour was one of the most humiliating in Annie’s life. She was stripped of her company ID, computer, and codes. She signed paper after paper. Finally, Randy took her to the corporate gate as she balanced her last boxes of personal items in her arms.
“Good luck,” was all Randy said as the metal gate slammed closed behind her.
Annie drove out of the compound on autopilot, her thoughts going a mile a minute. She’d spent over a decade at this place. It had been good to her. But she was never more certain in her life that she was doing the right thing. She was making a change for herself — not for David, or John or Fred, or
her parents. Just for her.
Cranking up the music, Annie sang along to Peter, Paul, and Mary. Tears ran down her face as she shouted the words to familiar songs.
• • •
When Annie reached the fishhook, she turned north on Highway 1. At a music store near the university, she found what she wanted. Her small purchase fit easily into her purse.
I suppose I should be miserable. I just threw away my security.
Annie laughed. Her feelings were as far from miserable as they could get. Spring was in full force in the city of Santa Cruz and in her heart. Even the run-down houses along Mission Street had flowers bursting from struggling gardens while the handful of boldly painted old Victorians splashed their floral displays. She began to sing a half-remembered song from a favorite Broadway show.
She sang her way down to the bookshop, making up words when she couldn’t remember the originals. By the time she got to the parking garage, she was at the end of the song, singing at the top of her lungs.
A smile on her face, she waltzed into the store. She spotted John almost exactly where she’d seen him the first time. Once again, he was struggling with a load of books, his shirt stretched taut against his back. But now she knew exactly what those bare muscles felt like under her hands.
He looked up as she got closer and a smile matching her own spread across his face. He dumped the books on the nearest table and came to her.
“You look so happy,” he said, and gave her a light kiss on her mouth.
“I guess you’re not going to keep our relationship a secret.”
“Hell, no,” he said and kissed her again.
“I quit my job.”
He put his hands on her shoulders and stared down at her. “For real? No going to New Jersey? No job?”
“Nope. I’m staying right here where I belong.”
“That’s wonderful!” He drew her to him in a bear hug. “I still have an opening at the bookstore,” he murmured to the top of her head.
Laughing, she pushed him gently away and took his hands. “I may take you up on it, but I want to wait until I hear from the consulting firms. Let me see if I can find something in my field first.”
“Got time for coffee?”
“I have all the time in the world.”
“Unfortunately, I’ve only got fifteen minutes,” John said as he escorted her back to the café. “I have to warn you — the boss in this place is a slave-driver.”
Twenty minutes later Annie was driving south. She shook her head in wonder. She’d never felt better in her life. It was as if a straight highway had opened up in front of her. If there were obstacles, she felt confident she could overcome them. It was exhilarating!
“Hi,” she called as she bounced into Elizabeth’s store. “I quit my job!” she yelled.
Her friend emerged from the back of the store, a toothpick in one hand, a pair of tweezers in the other. “Shhh!” she stage whispered. “I almost dropped hot wax on Sheila Abernathy’s nose!”
She gave Annie an awkward hug and looked at her questioningly. “You quit your job? Without having another one?”
“Yep!”
“How’s it feel?”
“Great!” It was Annie’s turn to look at her friend. “Where were you this weekend? I tried to call you, but you never answered. I wanted to tell you about my date with John.”
“How was it?”
“Fabulous.”
“I can’t wait to hear more, but … ” Elizabeth gestured to the back room. “I’ve got to go. Call me later? Better yet, come see me.”
They hugged and Elizabeth scurried back behind the curtain.
Annie pulled into her driveway a few minutes earlier. Her euphoria wouldn’t last too long, she realized. Soon the reality of bills would crash down on her. But for now, she wanted to be on top of the world for however long it lasted.
She brought her office boxes into the garage. She couldn’t imagine where to put the company awards that had once seemed so important to her. As for her technical books, they could stay here until she needed them for the next job.
Once her cup of tea was made, Annie took the package out of her purse and grabbed the guitar she’d dragged out of the garage weeks before. She restrung her old Martin and tried out a few chords.
After supper that night, she told David her decision to quit. “I’m not sure how long it will take me to get a job or consulting assignment, so things will be a little tight around here for a while. You’ll need to make your cleats do until fall.”
“I don’t care,” he said, throwing his arms around her. “Anything, as long as we don’t have to leave!” He hummed tunelessly as he cleared the table. “I … um … was talking to Dad about it and he suggested I apply for a job at a restaurant or something. They’re always looking for busboys, especially with the summer coming. I rode my bike to that restaurant you and Elizabeth like and filled out an application. They said they’d see, but they probably wouldn’t call until after my birthday in May.”
Annie gave her son a hug. “Thanks, kid,” she said as tears welled in her eyes and a lump formed in her throat. It was true. She didn’t have to do it alone.
• • •
“What are you having?” Elizabeth asked as they settled into their chairs at the Costanoa Grill.
“Oh, since I’ve thrown all caution to the wind by quitting my job, I’m going to have the Alfredo with prawns.”
“Sounds yum. Wanna split?”
“Sure!”
They placed the order, along with a request for two Fogarty chardonnays and side salads.
“Let’s start with the important things,” Elizabeth said. “How was your date Friday night? Tell me everything!”
“I’m not going to tell you everything … ”
“That means something happened. Did you … ”
“It doesn’t mean anything. I don’t have to tell you every detail. And, no, it doesn’t mean we … ” Annie waved her right hand.
Elizabeth studied her. “You never were a very good liar, you know.”
Annie sighed. “We had a really fun time at the concert. Ellis Paul is a great entertainer. He inspired me so much that I got strings and restrung the guitar.”
“I can’t wait to sit at your first concert.”
“It’ll be a while. I’ve got to get some calluses first. My fingers are killing me.”
“And then what?”
“Then I’ll start learning to play again. Maybe try writing a song or two.”
“Ugh! You’re impossible. I mean then what happened after the concert?”
“Oh. All right. You’re right. He kissed me … and we … made love.”
“I can see it was good,” Elizabeth said dryly.
Annie jerked herself back to reality. “Um … yeah … it was good.” She could feel a huge smile cross her face. “Like I’m sure it’s good with you and Bobby.”
Elizabeth’s expression saddened.
“What’s up?” Annie asked.
Elizabeth picked up her chardonnay, took a sip, and placed the glass on her cocktail napkin, carefully aligning the glass’s bottom with the indentation on the napkin. She looked up at Annie, her large brown eyes damp.
“We broke up.”
“What?”
“He wants to be married, Annie, and I don’t. He’s running for district supervisor and we … I felt he’d be better off alone than with an unmarried girlfriend he sleeps with on weekends.”
“Elizabeth, nobody cares about that in Santa Cruz. Sounds like an excuse to me.”
“Maybe it is. I don’t know. I couldn’t go on with it the way it was anymore. It seemed dishonest.” Elizabeth picked up her wine again and swirled it, staring into the depths of the small eddy in the glass.
The friends sat quietly for a time. Annie thought about the upheaval in their lives as she sipped her wine. It was going to be a year of change for both of them.
The arrival of food broke the somber silence. By unspoken
agreement, they changed topics and talked about Elizabeth’s business, the coming tourist season, and the best solutions to global warming.
• • •
After getting David off to school, Annie checked into her home e-mail before continuing the job search, as she’d done every morning since she quit her job.
“Yes!” she shouted as she scanned an e-mail from Arthur and Martin, one of the consulting firms she’d applied to. She sped back a response, telling them that she’d be happy to come in for an interview the following Tuesday. She danced around her office, her heart lifted with possibilities. It wasn’t a job, but it was one step closer.
She spotted a second e-mail in the queue. Beverly. She and her aunt had kept up with almost daily Facebook messages over the past few weeks. Beverly was planning a longer trip to Costanoa over the summer so she could meet her great-nephew and spend more time with them.
“I’ve got an interview!” Annie sent the message off.
Her aunt must have been online because a chat window came up. “I knew you would. You’ve been doing so great. Things will turn around, you’ll see. And you’ll be happier than you’ve ever been in your life.”
“You know, I think you might be right.”
“And how’s that beau of yours?”
“We talk every day. He’s coming to David’s soccer game on Friday night.”
“Will Fred be there?”
“Yes. But John can handle it.”
“I’m sure he can. It’s Fred I’m thinking about.”
“Good point.” Annie laughed out loud. “Got to run. Coaching call in a few minutes. Need to make some tea first.”
“Bye, sweetie.”
“Bye, Bev.”
Carol called promptly at ten. Annie was bubbling with enthusiasm.
“It sounds like things have really turned around,” Carol said when she finished catching her up to date.
“I can’t believe it. I mean, everything was against me. I was being laid off, my kid was in trouble, and it looked like my only option was to move across the country. And nothing about that has really changed.”
“Except you.”
“Except me.” Annie had to smile to herself. It was exactly what Carol had predicted weeks ago.
Carol let the silence lengthen.