“Then what are you worried about?” She took a deep breath. “Are you worried I won’t like it? I have to tell you, Josh, I haven’t seen any real…equipment. Only the ones in books. So you don’t have to worry; my expectations are really low in that department.”
Josh threw back his head and roared with laughter. She smacked him on the chest.
“I’m thrilled to hear you have low expectations, baby.” He wiped his eyes.
Caroline didn’t see what was so funny. She thought she was bending over backwards to be understanding and considerate. “If there isn’t a problem, why don’t you take off your T-shirt.” She licked her lips. “In fact, why don’t you take off everything.”
He put his hand softly on her cheek, and she rested into it. “I’d love to get naked with you. But now isn’t the right time. You’re plastered, baby.”
“I am not.” Caroline shot to her feet, making Josh wobble before landing on his backside. “I only had a few glasses of champagne. There’s nothing wrong with me.” She swayed slightly, her head suddenly full of the stars in the sky. It was distracting. And then a thought occurred to her. “Unless there is something wrong with me?” Horrified, she looked down at Josh. “There’s something wrong with me, isn’t there? That’s why you don’t want to touch me. I thought you liked touching me. You had your hand down my pyjamas this morning.”
Josh shook his head slowly as he stood up. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”
“Is it because I’m so inexperienced? Or is it because I’m so plain? I thought you liked my breasts.” She cupped herself, trying to decide what she thought of them. “They’re not that big, but they stay where they’re supposed to. I thought they were okay. They’re not big enough, are they?”
She looked up to find Josh staring at her chest, a pained expression on his face. She was right—she wasn’t good enough. She let her hands drop and started to turn away.
“Baby.” Josh’s hand shot out and wrapped around her upper arm. “There is nothing wrong with your breasts. You are beautiful.”
She looked up at him. Oh, but he made her giddy. His height and width seemed to engulf her. It should have overwhelmed her, but instead it made her feel precious.
“Then take off your shirt and let me touch you.”
Josh swore under his breath before he reached over his shoulder, grabbed a handful of T-shirt and yanked it over his head.
“I’m all yours.”
Caroline ran the flat palms of her hands down his chest, tracing muscle, feeling him respond to her touch until she met the waistband of his jeans. For a second she frowned, before she solved her problem by delving under the fabric.
“Caroline, you keep exploring like that and things are going to take a turn you’re not ready for.”
Caroline felt her need morph to anger. “But I am ready. I’m ready for all of it. I’m thirty-one. I’ve been ready for a very long time. I know I said we should wait until the wedding. At least, I think I said that. It doesn’t matter, because I’ve changed my mind.” She pointed at his jeans. “Get them off now.”
“I don’t want to make love to you for the first time when you’re drunk. I want you to be in the moment with me. And I don’t want you to regret it afterwards.”
“I won’t regret it.”
He ran a hand through his silky, dark hair. The sight of him, in the soft night light, made her ache in places she couldn’t even name.
“Baby, we’re getting married in a week. We’re going to do this. We’re going to have sex. Trust me. It doesn’t have to happen tonight.”
She stamped her foot like a child, because that was exactly what she felt like. That was what he was treating her like. Wasn’t she a woman? Didn’t she know what she wanted? Didn’t she have a right to ask for what she wanted? Damn right she did. She pointed at the big lout, momentarily distracted by the way the moonlight rippled over his chest and caught in the dip at his stomach. “I demand that you get naked right now, Josh McInnes.”
“Not tonight, baby.”
She strode towards him. He backed up, a huge grin on his face.
“If you won’t take them off, then I will.”
Josh started to laugh. He held out his hands in front of him. “Caroline, you need to sit down and eat something. Then we’ll talk about this.”
She marched towards him. He retreated faster than she could move. It was annoying.
“Stop running away. Man up. I demand we have sex.”
Josh’s laughter made his shoulders shake, which in turn made the muscles move. Caroline was momentarily distracted.
“Let’s wait until you’re sober,” he said through his laughter.
“Josh McInnes, you are a big fat coward.” She pushed him on his chest.
She’d only expected him to take a step back. Instead his legs caught on the back of the low wall behind him, and Josh toppled head first into the garden. Caroline was left staring at his feet, which were now pointing up to the sky.
“Oh my goodness, Josh.” She ran for the steps that led down into the garden.
She couldn’t see Josh’s body. It had been swallowed by a lavender bush.
“Help. Somebody help,” she shouted.
“I’m fine.” Josh didn’t sound fine. “Just give me a hand to get out of this bush.”
Caroline reached for the hand that had appeared through the lavender. She yanked hard, but nothing happened. “Help,” she shouted again.
She almost sank to the ground in relief when Mitch ran around the corner of the building. He came up short when he saw Caroline standing in her underwear.
“Is that Josh’s feet?” He pointed at the shoes in the air.
Caroline nodded. “We had a little accident. Josh was too scared to have sex so he ran away and fell into a bush.”
“Don’t say a word,” the bush warned Mitch. “Just get me out of here.”
“I think he has concussion,” Caroline told Mitch.
Mitch dissolved into hysterics. He wiped his eyes as he pulled his cell phone from his pockets. He aimed it at Josh. “This is one for Facebook.”
“You better not be taking photos.” The bush shook as it threatened Mitch.
“Would I do that?” Mitch grinned at her.
“Get me out of here.” Josh didn’t sound happy.
Caroline suddenly ran out of steam. She sat down on the grass beside Josh’s bush. It was lovely and cool on her skin, so she lay out flat on it. Josh and Mitch were a dull noise in her head while she looked up at the stars. Perfect, she thought as she drifted off to sleep.
By the time Josh was freed from the bush, Caroline was out cold. Spread-eagle on the grass.
“Don’t even think about taking a photo of this,” he warned Mitch.
“You don’t want it for the family album?”
“What are you doing back here, anyway? I thought you’d be tucked up in bed at the pub.”
“I came back to see if you needed help. Good job I did, isn’t it?”
Josh couldn’t help a grin forming on his lips. “She was trying to seduce me.”
Mitch grinned back. “By shoving you into the lavender?”
They smiled at Caroline as she gently snored.
“I better get her to bed. She’s going to have a serious hangover tomorrow.”
He crouched beside her. Her creamy skin shone in the moonlight. Her lips were parted slightly and her hair was spread out around her. Man, but she was beautiful.
“I’ll leave you to it.” Mitch thumped him on the shoulder before he disappeared.
Caroline looked so peaceful that part of him wanted to lie beside her and wait for the dawn. Instead he scooped her up and held her tight. Caroline opened drowsy eyes and smiled at him, then curled her arms around his neck.
“I love how you feel,” she told him.
His stomach knotted.
“You’re always so warm.” She rubbed her cheek on his chest. “You feel strong, yet soft and smooth.” She kissed the spot sh
e’d rubbed as he carried her to the back door. “I want to lick you all over.” Her tongue traced along his skin.
Josh bit back a groan. If she’d been sober. If she hadn’t polished off so much champagne that she’d become someone else, he’d had taken her at her word. Then he would have taken her. Instead he turned towards the hallway and started the long climb to the fourth floor and his bedroom. Typical. He eventually got Caroline into a room with a door and she was too sloshed to care.
“I feel so dizzy,” she moaned as her head hit his chest.
“You’re drunk, baby.” He smiled down at her.
“I’ve never been drunk before.”
“No kidding.” He turned the corner to start the next flight of stairs.
“I keep doing all these things with you I’ve never done before. Drinking. Lying. Stealing sex books.” She looked up at him, beautiful wide eyes through dark lashes. It made his chest tighten. “You’re corrupting me.”
He laughed, feeling it bounce off her body. She huffed as her head fell back to his chest. She was limp in his arms. “I don’t know why you picked me,” she whispered.
Josh’s arms tightened.
“Anyone can see that you’re out of my league. I have no idea how to behave in your world. I don’t know what I’d even do there.” She sighed. “You should have picked one of those socialite women—they know how to have parties and talk to people who are famous or rich. Half the time I don’t even know what to say to the domino boys.” She looked up at him. “I won’t blame you if you change your mind, Josh. There’s still time. You can marry someone better. I would understand.”
Josh clenched his jaw tight. How could she not see how special she was? He opened his mouth to tell her as she snuggled closer to him. Her breathing evened out, and Josh glanced down to find her fast asleep. He held her tightly against him as he opened the door to his bedroom. For a minute he just stood there. He didn’t want to let her go. Not even for a second. At last he bent over and put her where she was meant to be—in his bed.
He traced a finger down over her cheek. Beautiful, crazy girl. He pulled off his jeans and climbed into bed beside her. He wrapped her tightly to his chest and held her there.
Where she belonged.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Caroline’s head was inside out. Not only that, but someone had taken sandpaper to her brain. Her eyeballs were dry. Her eyelids didn’t work. The light was too bright. Her mouth was full of fur. And every single muscle in her body ached. It was hell. She was in hell. A place where her brain hurt and someone left all the bloody lights on.
She heard chuckling. It was too damn loud. She pressed her palms to her ears and groaned before burrowing her head under the pillow. She’d come out later. Maybe. If it was silent. And dark. And she could move without a limb falling off.
“Come on, baby.” Josh’s voice was muffled through the pillow. “I’ve got some water and pills for you. It’ll help.”
Caroline thought about telling him to go away, but it took too much effort. There was more chuckling. The man was a sadist. The pillow disappeared. The light was back. She wasn’t sure what to cover first—her eyes or her ears.
Strong hands lifted her, turned her and propped her against the headboard. She’d seen people do this with sheep—pose them for their own amusement. Caroline covered her eyes with her forearm. It kept out the light but did nothing for the thumping—someone was playing bongo drums behind her eyeballs. A cold glass hit her lips.
“Drink,” was the rumbled command.
She drank. It tripped over the fur in her mouth and soothed her throat.
“Pills,” he ordered. “Open up.”
She opened up. Two pills. More water. She kept her hand over her eyes as she heard Josh walk away. She heard curtains being pulled. Suddenly it was much darker.
“Better?”
She groaned in reply.
“Guess we’re not going to be touching this morning.” Josh sounded amused.
If she had any energy she would have thrown something at him. Instead she just toppled to the side and let her face hit the pillow beside her.
“Okay, I can see you’re no use at all. I’ll come back later.”
He gently traced his fingers over her cheek, then her neck, shoulder and hip before she felt them disappear. She heard his footsteps and a door close.
It took her another ten minutes at least to realise she was naked.
With a long, guttural groan, she pressed into the bed and hoped the whole thing was a nightmare.
Because she did not want to deal with reality.
“How’s Sleeping Beauty?” Mitch asked when Josh wandered into the kitchen.
“Suffering.”
Suffering and stunning. Her skin felt like satin. During the night Caroline had gotten out of bed, complained loudly about her clothes being too heavy, stripped out of her underwear and climbed back in with him. If she hadn’t been four sheets to the wind, he’d have been in heaven. As it was, he spent the night holding her naked body and trying not to let his hands wander—well, wander too much. He thought he deserved a medal.
“First hangover?” Mitch grinned.
“According to her it’s her first everything.” Josh reached for the coffee pot. “She says I’m corrupting her.”
They clinked coffee cups in a toast to a job well done.
“Must you two be so loud?” Josh’s mum complained as she came into the kitchen.
One side of her hair was spiked out from her head, and the other side was mashed flat against it. Her yellow robe was wrapped tight around her and she hunched over as though standing was almost too difficult.
“Somebody needs coffee,” Mitch said out of the side of his mouth.
Josh tried not to laugh. It was tempting to give his mother the same lecture she’d always given him when he’d tied one on when he was younger. She never showed any sympathy for self-inflicted illness—especially illness of the hangover variety.
“Coffee, yes.” She walked gingerly to the dining table, assuming someone would bring her a cup.
“I’ll get it, will I?” Josh poured her a cup.
“What was it you used to tell us about restraint, Mrs. Mac?” Mitch was definitely in an evil mood. “Oh, yeah, that it was a sign of maturity.” He hid behind his coffee mug.
“Obviously I’m regressing.” Helen reached greedily for the coffee mug Josh held out. “I was mature. I don’t have a clue what I am now.” She tried to smile up at Josh. It looked like a grimace. “Do we have painkillers? Lots of them. Strong ones.”
“I’ll get you some.”
“Bless you,” she muttered before sipping the coffee.
Josh came back with a bottle of pills. “We need to talk about Dad.”
“This is not the best time.” Helen lunged for the painkillers.
“There’s never a good time. At least right now you can’t argue back, or run away. I’m taking the advantage.”
He pulled out a chair beside her at the table.
Mitch headed to the door. “That’s my cue to go. I’ve got a couple of leads on the photos of Caroline that went viral. I’ll run them down today and let you know what I come up with.”
As soon as Mitch was gone, Josh turned to his mother. “What’s it going to take to make you reunite with Dad?”
Helen hugged her coffee mug to her chest and scrunched her eyes against the light. “I don’t want to take him back. He’s on his own now.”
“You can’t throw away thirty-five years of marriage.”
“Watch me.”
Josh pinched the bridge of his nose. “This is me Mom, you can be honest. We both know you don’t want a divorce. You want Dad back the way he was when you first met him.”
Her eyes became glassy with unshed tears. Her shoulders slumped. “He’s the only man I’ve ever loved. The only one I want to love. But he hurts me every day. I can’t live like that. I could have forty years ahead of me, and I don’t want to spend it watchi
ng daytime TV and eating in silence. I want to live. I want him to live. But he doesn’t want that. He’s done. Ask him. As far as he’s concerned, sixty-seven is the age to quit living. It doesn’t matter to him that we could have years and years ahead of us to enjoy. To live.” The look in her eyes was heartbreaking. “So I’m done. I want to live, and I can’t do it with him.”
Josh took his mother’s hand in his. “What if he made an effort to change?”
She looked so dejected. “Honestly? I don’t think I’d believe it. He’s stubborn, cantankerous and set in his ways. Your dad hasn’t been anything but predictable for the past few years. I don’t see that changing.”
“He might surprise you yet.”
“No. He won’t.” His mother gave him a brave smile. “I know this is the last thing you need to deal with right now, what with the wedding and starting a new life with Caroline. So don’t think about us. We’re adults; we can deal with this by ourselves.”
Josh took a deep breath. “Neither one of you is behaving like an adult, Mom.”
His mother sat away from him. “Well, you only have another week to put up with us, then you’ll be off on honeymoon and we’ll deal with our marriage mess by ourselves.”
Josh smacked his forehead. Hard. “Honeymoon! Shit.”
“Josh McInnes. Language.”
He rolled his eyes at her. “I forgot about a honeymoon.”
“Seriously?” Caroline’s voice came from the doorway. “You only had one job.”
He couldn’t help but grin at the way Caroline was standing. It was as though she was afraid to move any part of her body. She was dressed in the same clothes as yesterday, although now they were crushed. Her face was pale. Her hair was ruffled and her feet were bare. She was adorable.
“The one job I had was to get the rings.” Josh resisted the urge to smack himself on the forehead again. Then he made a mental note to get the damn rings.
“Yes. You’re right.” She still hadn’t moved from the doorway. The look on her face told him that she thought taking another step would be akin to climbing a mountain. “I’ll sort out the honeymoon.”
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