Slut

by Jettie Woodruff

  “Go the fuck inside.”

  “I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Gab—”

  Once again the nerve thing took over my body, the effects of defying Paxton. At least it was easier to stand my ground through the phone. I didn’t have to worry about his strong hands around my throat that way. I think that helped calm the crackling in my voice.

  Again, I answered the ringing phone, this time with a little more attitude. “What, Paxton? You’re not the boss of me.”

  He laughed. Paxton laughed, but I wasn’t sure why. “I am the boss of you, little girl. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll turn around and go back inside the cottage.”

  “Will you stop with that shit? I’m not your property,” I assured him, arms flailing in the air with my elevated voice.

  “You are, baby girl. I bought and paid for you many times over. You think that new car out there was free? You think that swimming pool outside maintains itself? You think your clothes just magically appeared? Get your fucking ass in that house. You don’t want me to come after you.”

  The threat pissed me off more than anything. I wasn’t scared at all. That may or may not have been due to the distance between us. I’m guessing it was, but nonetheless, I had brass balls and I was using them.

  “Go ahead, Paxton. Come down here and bully me back to the house. See what happens.”

  Another laugh, but not the kind that makes you want to laugh, too. This one was rebellious, angry, and downright evil. Enough so that it caused a chill to run down my spine. “Are you threatening me, Gabriella?”

  “Didn’t you just threaten me? Look, I have to do something that you’re not going to understand. I’m not coming into that house with you. I will see the girls tomorrow while you work, and then I am coming back to the cottage. I don’t know how things were before, but they can’t be that way now.”

  “What the fuck does that even mean, Gabriella? Are you threatening divorce? It will be a cold day in hell before I grant you that wish. You’re a slut, I made you, and I can break you. You will never see the day that you’re not a Pierce. Do you understand me? Hmm? You got that, slut?”

  And just like that the anger bled through the phone, soaking me with the same infuriating fury that Paxton showed me. “Like I said before, fuck you. I didn’t marry you. Gabriella Delgardo married you. You’re supposedly the smart one. Prove that one.”

  Silence filled the air between us and I knew I had just winded him enough to render him speechless. For a moment anyway. “You want to play that card, Gabriella? You really want to go there?”

  “Did you know that identical twins don’t have the same fingerprints? Did you know that Paxton?”

  “Why didn’t you tell me? Why all the lies, Gabriella?”

  I heard Rowan call for her dad for the second time in the background. “Tell you what? That I had an identical twin? You tell me why I didn’t tell you. I don’t even remember the day I met you, let alone the day I married you. Why Paxton? Why didn’t you know I had a twin?”

  “I’ve got to go cut up Rowans steak. Where are you going?”

  “Not far. I plan on going back to the cottage, but not your house.”

  “You can’t do this, Gabriella. This isn’t the way I played my hand.”

  “What? You don’t like me calling your bluff? Show me your hand, Paxton. I’ll show you mine.”

  Paxton and I exchanged hidden threats, each reading them loud and clear with the same meaning. “We’ll talk later.”

  “I’m sure we will. Give the girls a kiss for me.”

  I sort of stopped along the beach, thinking about Paxton and his stupid games. I knew exactly what his plan entailed; me being his submissive and bowing down to his every command. Had it not been for Van, I would have probably done just that for Rowan and Phi. But I couldn’t, not yet, not until I found the answers. I didn’t need Paxton Pierce to help me, I’d find them myself. He could play all the games he wanted to play. I was done. I gave up, forfeiting to my obstinate husband, stomping away with defeated anger.

  Frowning at my handwriting on the folded candy wrapper, I tried to decipher the fifth number. It was either a seven, a four, or a nine. I couldn’t really tell, but the third time was the charm. It took two wrong numbers before I heard Mi’s voice.

  “Dr. Chin.”

  “Mi, it’s me.”

  “Oh, my God, Gabby. I’ve been going out of my mind waiting for you to call. I even meditated on it. Hmm, I bet that’s why you called, it worked,” Mi explained, her voice elevating to a happy high.

  I shook my head at her adult attention deficit disorder and her crazy culture. “Mi, why? Why did you want me to call?”

  “Hey, how are you calling?”

  “I’ll explain later. Did you find something?”

  “Yes, but I’m not sure you want to hear it.”

  Oh, man. That wasn’t what I hoped for at all. “What? Tell me. Did you find the Walkers?”

  “Yes and no. I found Mrs. Walker. Mr. Walker died in an automobile accident eight years ago. Mrs. Walker is now Mrs. Phillips.”

  I hadn’t even realized I’d stopped walking until I felt the cool water wrap around my ankles. I looked down and continued, going nowhere in a hurry. “Okay, did you talk to her? What did she say?”

  “She hasn’t talked to Izzy in over three years. She said she tried to help her, but Izzy wouldn’t take it. She lost everything, her house, her business, and her kid because of drugs.”

  “But I was with her. I didn’t get that from her when Nick hypnotized me. She’s all better now,” I said while feeling an instant need to defend her. Like I knew her.

  “I felt like that, too. Regardless of Izzy’s soberness, that lead is dead, but don’t worry. I’ve got someone looking for Vander right now. Where are you?”

  “You’re not going to believe me if I tell you.”

  “You’re not with him, are you?”

  “No, not really. I planned on camping out at our little cottage, but Paxton had a camera in there. He found me before I had a chance to be missing.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. He wants me to come home, but I told him no.”

  “Good for you. Is this your phone? He gave it to you?”

  “Sort of. Paxton doesn’t do anything for me without personal gain. This is his way of tracking my every move.” I may not have remembered who the hell I was, but I was smart enough to know Paxton’s motives by now. Without a doubt, I knew his eyes were on a little red dot and a map. I was the red dot.

  “Okay, so what now?”

  “I’ve got to go see Candace.”

  “The guy’s wife that you cheated with?”

  “That hasn’t been confirmed yet.”

  “Yeah, okay. I don’t like it. That’s not a good idea. Let me come with you.”

  “No, I’m fine. What’s the worst that can happen?”

  “She could break your nose. I’m a baby doctor, not a plastic surgeon.”

  For a brief second, I thought about it, but I refrained. I didn’t want to cause any more riffraff between her and Nick. “I have to go right now while his car his gone.”

  “That’s an even worse idea. She can feed you to the sharks without anyone even knowing you were there. You better call me as soon as you leave.”

  “I will. I promise.”

  “Turn your phone off until you leave.”

  “Oh, smart thinking. You’re way better at this than me.”

  “That’s why you should let me go with you.”

  “I’m fine, Mi. Thanks for everything. I’ll call you later.”

  “As soon as you leave,” she ordered.

  The advice about not letting Paxton track me was the best guidance Mi could have given me. I hadn’t even thought about that. Paxton would be on Candace’s doorstep in no time. I powered off my phone, seeing the full battery in the top corner. I wouldn’t be using that one as an excuse.

  I felt like a crimin
al, lurking in the woods as I zigged zagged my way in and out of the neighborhood. Ducking behind buildings, outdoor kitchens, and even a trashcan heightened my sneakiness, leaving me feeling like more of an outsider than I already was. If Tricia saw me she’d be on the phone with Paxton first, and then Candace. That’s why I ducked behind her trashcan. She opened her front door while on the phone, but only her hand and half her body stepped out for the mail, not me. That one caused adrenaline to pump wilder through my veins. Jesus. My heart couldn’t take much more of that. Those people who craved adrenaline like a junkie, were crazy. I hated that feeling, and it seemed like I felt it way more than the normal person did. Of course I did. I was sneaking through backyards and diving behind garbage. Gah.

  I took a deep breath, willing courage into my lungs as I made it to the side door. I knew from the girl’s coming over that it led to a shower house for pool guests. The neighborhood women were the only ones to use it. Anyone else would have used the front door.

  One push to the doorbell button, and two quick knocks. My fingers flailed with my rapid breaths while I waited, dancing back and forth from foot to foot.

  Crap. I wasn’t expecting Chance to answer. I didn’t have any planned words for her mommy, this was worse. Thank God, Chance made it easy for me.

  “Gabriella!” she called, excited to see me while she hugged my legs.

  I smiled and ran my hand down her hair and back. “Hi, sweetie. How are you?”

  “I didn’t see you for a long time. Where’s Rowan and Ophelia? I want to play with them.”

  Just when I was about to reply, Candace spoke from a few feet away.

  “They’re with their dad right now. Go finish your piano lesson. You have twenty more minutes.”

  “I want to play with Rowan and Ophelia,” she whined with a frown while crossing her arms defiantly.

  “Maybe Tricia can bring them over tomorrow. Go practice,” Candace ordered again, shooing her away with a light shove.

  “Bye, Gabriella,” Chance said while giving up, listening to her mother.

  “Bye, sweetie,” I said with a warm smile. I realized at that moment that I missed her, too. Not so much her mom, but definitely her.

  “Well, you have a lot of nerve,” Candace instantly began.

  The cocky attitude I’d assembled disappeared when I saw the look in her eyes. I hurt her and I didn’t even remember it. My shoulders dropped as I lost the last of my boldness.

  “I’m so sorry, Candace.”

  “Yeah, I know. You’re so sorry, but you don’t know what for, right, Gabby? Or is it Izzy?”

  I didn’t respond because I didn’t know how to. What did one say to that? It was true, I didn’t really know what I was sorry for, and truth be known, I was a fraud. I didn’t deserve to be called Gabriella.

  “What do you want?”

  “I want to know what you know.”

  “No you don’t.”

  “I do. Please, Candace. I don’t know who else to turn to.”

  “Did you try my husband? I’m sure he’d love to help.”

  I took a deep breath and dropped my eyes to the sandstone tile. With my head nodded to the floor, I spoke with a quiet, yet desperate tone. “I know something happened between Lane and I, but I swear to God, I don’t know what. You said you hired someone. I heard you tell the other girls. At least tell me what he found.”

  Candace stormed off, leaving me standing there alone, caught off guard. I looked around with wide eyes, wondering what I was supposed to do. Was that it? She was just going to leave it like that?

  “Here, I told Lane I already got rid of this when I agreed to move away from here and give it another shot. This is all I’ve got. There’s more, but I’m not going to be the one to let that one out of the bag. Talk to your husband.”

  I took the gold envelope and frowned at her. “You can’t do that. That’s like girl code or something. You can’t tell me there’s more, but you’re not telling me. How fair is that?”

  “You broke the girl code when you fucked my husband. Lucky for you, I believe him when he says it was years ago when we first moved here. I don’t know what goes on between you and Paxton behind closed doors, and I don’t care to. All I want to do is leave this place and get the hell out of here. Goodbye, Gabriella.”

  Again, I was left with no words. Why the hell couldn’t someone just be straight with me? I didn’t return the goodbye. I stared at her, speechless with the new information she gave me. Information that I knew would leave me wanting more.

  My sneaking through the neighborhood ceased as I made my way back, using the sidewalk instead of the backyards. It didn’t much matter who saw me now, except the girls. I was careful to avoid my own house.

  Just as I was about to walk behind Paxton’s shop the sunset caught my eye. The darkness was held up by the sun kissing the ocean, a few more minutes and night would fall all around. The reds mixed with purple and yellow glistened against the water, leaving me with a feeling of loss. Like when my mom died. I felt like an orphan all over again, alone and frightened.

  The entire mesmerizing view was gone at precisely the same moment I felt the wetness between my legs. Not the good kind either. “Damnit,” I said aloud as I carried on my journey to the cottage, powering on my phone for the flashlight. Why hadn’t I thought about that? I was never late. Clockwork and my period were a team with a schedule. I needed tampons from the house. I rushed along, using the light from my phone to unlock the back door, praying to find at least one in my little bathroom.

  My hand went in first, flipping the switch for light. Light that never came. All I could do was laugh. The bastard turned off the power. The ridiculous giggle was for how stupid he was. I didn’t think for one second that he’d leave it off. The camera didn’t work without electricity. The laughter continued when I answered his call without a hello.

  “What the fuck are you doing? Don’t turn that phone off again, do you understand me, Gabriella?”

  “Yeah, sure, Paxton,” I said in a nonchalant tone, heading straight to the little bathroom behind the rice paper room divider. Sure enough, it was there. A bright red stain in my new panties. I leaned over, trying to use the light to dig for something to use. Nothing. Not one freaking tampon, not one pad, and only a half roll of toilet paper. The one on the holder.

  “Where did you go?”

  “You want the truth or do you want to continue with the lies?”

  “I don’t like this side of you, Gabriella. You need to stop.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m not really Gabriella, so—” I said while dragging out the word.

  “Where the fuck were you?”

  “I went to see Candace.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I want to know what the fuck is going on. You won’t tell me anything, so I’m going to find out myself. Did you know Lane and Candace were leaving? Lane already gave his notice.”

  “I don’t care where they go. What did she tell you?”

  “Turn the power back on and you’ll find out.”

  “How? What do you mean?”

  “She gave me the envelope from her private investigator. You know, the same one you hired to find out where I went the day I wrecked? Bet you wish you could do that day over, huh?”

  “And what, Gabriella? Seeing those photos is going to make you feel better? Knowing you fucked your friend’s husband is the answer you’re looking for?”

  “No, not even close. That’s just one piece of a thousand piece puzzle. One that I am managing to put together on my own,” I explained while I walked to the kitchen to find the paper towel rack empty, too. Damn. “I need to come up there and get a few things.”

  “Okay, come on up, but you’re not leaving.”

  “Forget it, I’ll call someone else,” I countered. I didn’t give him a chance to rebuttal. Mi was on the other line, beeping in my ear. She could get me tampons.

  “Are you still there? You’re worrying me sick,” Mi admitted when I click
ed over.

  “No, but I just started my period and I don’t have anything. Can you bring me something?”

  “Sorry, we only have one car. Nick just left for his chess club. What did you find out?”

  I rolled my eyes at Paxton’s name blinking across my phone. “Nothing yet. She gave me an envelope, basically telling me that’s all she’s got, and to never bother her again.”

  “What’s in it?”

  “I don’t know yet. Paxton shut the power off on me. I can’t see shit.”

  “Asshole.”

  “Right? Let me look around for a candle or a flashlight. I’ll call you in a little while.”

  “Ugh, okay fine. I got the number for a Miss Chadwick. She’s Vander’s social worker.”

  “Oh, perfect. You’re awesome. I love you,” I boasted. Why, I wasn’t sure. It wasn’t like I could call her and explain this crazy mess. Hello, this is Gabriella, but I’m really Izzy. I’ll be coming after Van now. That wouldn’t work.

  “Yeah, yeah, I know. Call me later, but do it before ten.”

  “Okay, see ya,” I said while switching over to Paxton’s call—again. I knew what Mi meant. Nick would be home at ten and she didn’t want him to know she was still meddling.

  “What? I’m trying to find a tampon.”

  “I’m sure you have some up here. Come home, Gabriella. The girls are expecting you to be here when they wake up. Have you even eaten today? I have a plate ready for you. Your favorite.”

  I laughed with that one. “You’re a funny man. Like you even know what my favorite is.”

  “Shrimp scampi, minus the shrimp. Just the sauce over those little bow ties you like. Broccoli on top, sprinkled with real parmesan and garlic with butter and Italian dressing drizzled lightly over it all.”

  All of my motions stopped, shocked into a frozen state. I could have sworn I heard my stomach growl. To say I was impressed was an understatement. I did make that a lot. The girls loved it, and Paxton complained every time, eating more than his fair share.

  “You can’t bully me into coming home, Paxton.”

  “Yes I can, Gabriella.”

  “You had me arrested. You didn’t even try to talk to me. You had me arrested.”