by Jamie Metzl
I’m not sure what my life to this point has amounted to, but a synapse firing somewhere in my brain tells me that loving, as terrifying as it sometimes seems, could be my little current in the vast stream of the universe.
I’m thirty-nine years, eight months, and sixteen days old. I’m forty-one days older than when I saw MaryLee Stock’s body sprawled out on her apartment floor. I am forty-one days closer to my death.
But, I sense, holding desperately to Toni’s hand, I have as of this moment already begun to live.
Acknowledgments
I am enormously grateful to the very special people who provided thoughtful comments on earlier versions of this novel. Special thank-yous to Mallika Bhargava, Ming Chen, Deborah Devedjian, Edison Liu, Jordan Metzl, Kurt Metzl, Marilyn Metzl, Elaine Merguerian, Caren Meyers, Fred Meyers, Lindsey Meyers, Samantha Monk, Hasmik Simidyan, Judy Sternlight, Hsu-Ming Teo, and Elizabeth Wang. I’m not quite sure what’s the category of appreciation beyond “enormously grateful,” but that’s how I feel about the assistance I received from my dear friend Rakhi Varma. I also deeply appreciate the many people, too many to name here, who answered specific questions on technical and other issues. Of course, anything seeming inaccurate or objectionable in the novel is entirely my responsibility (I only ask that readers please remember that I am not a scientist, this is not a science book, and the novel is set in the future). My goal in writing the novel is to help spur a broader dialogue about the massive implications of emerging genetic technologies. The novel would not have come to life (outside of my head, notebooks, and computer) but for the invaluable guidance and tireless effort of my amazing agent, Will Lippincott (himself supported by the young and brilliant Amanda Panitch), and the dedication and painstaking hard work of Cal Barksdale at Arcade Publishing. I dedicate the book to four mentors who’ve had a great and positive influence on my life: Les Gelb, Stephen Graubard, Richard Holbrooke, and Ted Sorensen.