Tim looked away, his gaze over the field surrounding the house. Gabe let his advice sink in, waiting for Tim to either accept or dismiss his opinion.
“Fuck,” Tim whispered.
A car came down the drive, and when Gabe saw that it was Julia, he swore in his head. She hated Tim for what he’d done to Gabe. He was going to head her off but didn’t make it down the steps before a red Mustang pulled in beside her.
Brandt.
Chapter 10
JULIA EXITED her car with a scowl, but Gabe turned his attention, smiling wide as Brandt stepped out of his car. That dazzling smile was more than he could take.
“Hey, Brandt.” Almost as an afterthought, he said, “Julia.”
Brandt’s eyes went to Tim, and his smile faded. “Hey. I just wanted to see if you were okay after the other night. You weren’t answering your phone.”
Tim snorted. “Or his door.”
Julia eyed Tim. Gabe would never hear the end of it. Tim stepped up and threw an arm around Gabe’s shoulder, then planted a kiss on Gabe’s cheek.
Brandt’s expression morphed from one of surprise to understanding. “Okay… yeah, I’m glad you’re okay. I gotta head out.”
Gabe shook off Tim’s arm and scowled at him. “Brandt, wait!”
Gabe ran down the stairs and into the driveway as Brandt’s Mustang backed away. Gabe clenched his fists at his sides, fire roaring in his gut. He spun and glared at Tim.
Tim was smart enough to look repentant.
“What the fuck were you doing, Tim?”
Tim backed up. His eyes were wide, and his mouth gaped and closed. “I don’t know. I just…. Shit, I’m sorry, Gabe.”
“Sorry? Seriously, I just got done telling you we were over and you turn all macho and act like you’re staking your claim when another guy shows up.”
Julia stepped tentatively onto the porch but was silent.
Tim crossed his arms. “Is he…. Are you seeing him?”
Gabe gritted his teeth. “Why should that matter? You can’t just play with people like that. Friends don’t do shit like that.”
Tim seemed to deflate and rubbed at the back of his neck. “I don’t…. I really want you and—”
“No, you don’t. If you really wanted me, then you would have stayed with me the first time. What I said earlier, I meant it. You need to stop with the relationships. You’re pretty fucked-up, Tim, and it’s only going to get worse. You really need to get some help before you have no one left in your life.”
Gabe turned and walked to the other end of the porch, taking in deep breaths. Then he chuckled. The last time he’d been so angry was the day he’d met Brandt. That brought a smile to his face and an ache to his chest.
“Tim, I think you’d better go,” Julia said. Gabe was surprised she hadn’t lit into him as well. Why was she being so nice?
“Yeah. Okay.” He walked down the stairs, and when Gabe looked to him, his head hung low. He got into his car and drove away.
Gabe rubbed at the throbbing in his temple.
“Brandt was worried about you. He asked me for your number at the bar Friday night. Said he needed to thank you for something. Then last night he called me all panicked because he couldn’t get ahold of you. I couldn’t reach you either, and when I called Betsy, she said the same. So when Brandt called me this morning, I told him we should come over, and jeez, Gabe, could your life get any more fucked-up?”
GABE RUBBED at his forehead and listened as Julia ranted about Tim, and this time he couldn’t defend the man, so Gabe sat back and let her get it all out.
“I can’t believe the nerve of him! He’s broken your heart over and over without a second of concern for your feelings. He’s heartless, and I seriously have to question your sanity and ability to make good choices when you let him into this house, much less back into your life the second time he came crawling back.” If this were a cartoon, steam would have been pouring out of her ears by now. “He’s heartless and self-centered and only cares about himself. He knew what he was doing on that porch. Good-for-nothing…. Ugh!”
Gabe sipped his coffee. A splash of creamer and one Splenda. A good compromise, he thought. That wasn’t the sign of someone who couldn’t make good decisions, right?
Who was he kidding?
A loud, exasperated sigh caught his attention. “Listen to me when I’m ranting.”
Gabe couldn’t stop the wry grin that crossed his face. Julia was pissed while Gabe’s ire had fizzled out, leaving only the pain of betrayal. “Tim came here to apologize and, yes, try to get back with me. I spoke with him because I needed to tell him I was done with him. Which I did. We’d agreed to be friends. Of course that was before he was a dickhead. Maybe someday if he gets his head out of his ass and realizes he’s ruining all his relationships, maybe then we can be friends.”
She pursed her lips. “Why can’t you ever stay mad at someone for more than five minutes? I swear I could go kick the shit out of something right now and still be pissed, and here you are sipping coffee, all relaxed. It’s really quite disturbing.”
Gabe grunted. “I’m far from relaxed. I might not be mad, but Tim meant a lot to me, even if it didn’t work out. But that part of my life is over. I have to move on.”
Gabe turned the words over in his mind to get used to the idea. Was he okay with that? More than he realized. A dull ache, a sense of loss, but not the feeling that something was missing. But that wasn’t entirely true, because something was missing. Another person was crowding out Tim in the missing category—Brandt.
“So Brandt was worried about me? Why?”
The snort-like guffaw from Julia was a sound Gabe had never heard before—even in nature. His misguided attempt to throw Julia off was transparent.
“So you’re going to play the stupid card? Good, because that’s how you’ve been acting for the past year. Before that, I’d only suspected you were just this side of insane for staying in that sham of a marriage. Now you’ve added stupid into the mix. At least you’re growing.”
“Ouch.” Gabe smirked at her harsh assessment.
She narrowed menacing eyes, effectively erasing the smirk. “You know I don’t mince words and don’t sugarcoat the truth.” That was the one thing Gabe appreciated about Julia. He needed to hear the truth even if that truth hurt. “And I’ve spent years dealing with teenagers who try to hide the truth from me, and I’ve developed a good bullshit detector. So don’t even try. I know something happened between you and Brandt on Friday night. I mean, Monday and Tuesday you were at each other’s throats, and then Friday night, well, Friday night he asks me for your phone number after you abruptly leave and then proceeds to drill me for any info about you that I was willing to spill. I swear to God, he was like a teenage girl with a crush.” She leaned back, and even though she crossed her arms, Gabe could see the crinkles at the corners of her eyes, which told him she approved that something had happened.
Gabe pushed his spoon around the table, wanting to tell her everything, but he wasn’t sure what had really happened. He shifted uncomfortably, thinking of the mind-blowing orgasm with Brandt in the goddamned parking lot. Could it have meant more to Brandt than just sex as well?
Julia’s hand covered his. It was highly reminiscent of Betsy’s act of comfort last week. Those two women were always taking care of him. He owed Julia—both of them—the truth.
“Hey, you can tell me if you want, but you don’t have to. I want so much for you, Gabe. You deserve someone in your life. Brandt’s a great guy. Respectful, a bit gruff, but once you get past the rough exterior, he’s a guy who cares enough to push people to be their best.”
Raptly attentive to the spoon, Gabe thought of the playground, and how he’d turned into a big kid around the twins. “Friday night Brandt followed me out to the parking lot. I may have kind of been lusting after him since we first met, and well, we talked a few times. I was really starting to like him, but I didn’t know he was gay until he kissed me.” A warm
blush crept up his neck and into his cheeks.
A giggle followed by another unladylike snort came from across the table. Gabe was the one to narrow his eyes now.
Julia waved a hand and tried to cover her smile with the other. “Sorry. Go on.”
“He asked me out on a date.”
Julia sat forward, that silly, girlish grin splitting her face. “And you said yes, right?”
Gabe bent over and banged his forehead against the table. “When he kissed me, I freaked and ran away.” He wasn’t telling her about the orgasm Brandt had given him.
“You ran away?”
He sat up and sighed deeply, rubbing at the throbbing, which had doubled. “I freaked, okay? After Tim, I… I’m afraid to be rejected, and I hate that feeling.”
“Damn, you really like him, don’t you?”
Gabe nodded, perhaps a little too enthusiastically. “I do. You should have seen him on the playground at the school with the twins the other day. He was outside with his gym class and saw us. He spent his free period playing with Maddy and Mikey. It was really sweet.” The memory brought a sappy smile to his face, but he shook his head in defeat. “Anyway, I’m sure he was only interested in a roll in the hay. That’s what many of the gay men I’ve talked with want. Besides, he could get some really hot, successful guy. I don’t want to be a placeholder until then.”
That comforting hand that had been resting on his moved and lightly smacked him aside the head.
“Ouch.” Gabe rubbed at the sting.
“That’s for being an idiot.” She grimaced, massaging her palm. “And for having such a hard head, but you deserved it. He clearly likes you. I told you that he was acting like one of those lovestruck teens I have running amok in the high school. Brandt probably is more embarrassed that he kissed you when you had someone else, which you don’t. So just call him and go on that date.”
Gabe wasn’t so sure. The threat of rejection ate at his gut with razor-sharp teeth. Perhaps he should go back to being alone. That was easy. This was tooth-pulling hard and just as agonizing.
“Listen, someone looking for another one-nighter doesn’t interrogate your best friend about every minute detail of your life. He doesn’t worry about you all weekend and get ready to break your door in if you don’t answer.” She paused. “And he looked hurt seeing Tim acting like he owned you.”
Gabe ran a hand through his hair.
“Call him, Gabe.”
Gabe only nodded reluctantly. This might take some alcohol.
LATER THAT night, Gabe sat on his back deck, sipping wine and turning his cell phone over in his hand. He contemplated his next move. Definitely needed to make the call before he was drunk. Last time he’d been in a drunken stupor and spoken with someone for whom he had feelings, he’d confessed his undying love to Tim.
Gabe shook his head in a thought-clearing gesture, because Tim, who had been the center of Gabe’s entire gay universe, would no longer have the starring role in his life. It was beyond fathomable. The script had been rewritten, and the lead had been recast with a tall, dark-haired, hazel-eyed ex-soldier, who would no doubt reject the part after Gabe’s idiocy. Damn, if that didn’t feel like getting his insides yanked out through his ass.
Earlier, Gabe had listened to the messages he’d missed from Julia, Betsy, and Brandt when he’d shut his phone off Saturday. The messages from Betsy and Julia had been firm and calm since they both knew Gabe and his tendency to bug out every so often. Gabe had called Betsy earlier and assured her he was fine. Brandt, well, his messages had gone from worried to a sort of panicked rambling by Sunday morning. If Gabe had bothered to listen to his messages on Friday night, he would have heard Brandt in a playful tone saying that he wanted to see Gabe again, and then, in a softer tone, telling him how sorry he was that their first time had been as uneventful as a rutting against a fence. If only Brandt knew how life-changing that rutting had been.
Gabe blew out a breath and chugged the rest of his wine. Only one glass, so he was safe to call. Searching his contacts, he found the newly saved number. He warred with himself, part of him hoping Brandt would answer and part of him hoping he wouldn’t. His gut was tied in a knot, and damn if he didn’t feel like he was going to throw up.
“Just call the man,” Gabe encouraged himself.
Hitting Call, he cleared his throat. As the number of rings increased, his heart fell a little. A beep and then Brandt’s commanding tone sent a shiver through Gabe as he instructed the caller to leave a name and number.
At the second beep, Gabe did his best to harden his voice and sound confident. “Hi, Brandt, it’s Gabe. Listen, I know I screwed up Friday night… and this morning. I’d really like the chance to explain. Please, call me back when you can.” Unsure of what else to say, he paused, then said, “Talk to you soon.”
Hitting the End button, Gabe put the phone down, trying unsuccessfully to ignore it.
Chapter 11
TWO DAYS later and still no word from Brandt. Should he text him? Would that be odd? What were the rules on texting someone you’d had an orgasm with but who wouldn’t call you back? Gabe hadn’t tried to call again for fear he would look like a stalker. His concentration was for shit. Each time his phone chirped or rang, his stomach did a somersault. Each time the call wasn’t from Brandt, Gabe feared he’d been right and the man had only been after a quick shag. Of course, Julia didn’t hesitate to remind him he was an idiot and to go and see Brandt. She’d even offered to speak with Brandt on his behalf, but Gabe assumed that would only piss the guarded man off more.
The time had come for some tactical maneuvers. Gabe didn’t have a reason to see Brandt. Travis’s issues in gym had disappeared, and he’d actually been having fun in class. And he was glad for that. Gabe hoped that experience would spread to the other areas of the teen’s life. The kid deserved so much more than life had given him so far. Without an excuse to go to the gym, Gabe turned to his next tactic—nonchalant attack.
Coordinating that attack with Julia, Gabe staked out the school parking lot with Brandt’s Mustang in full view. He clenched his cell phone in his hand as he waited for Julia to text him when Brandt was coming out of the school. He would “just happen” to bump into him and start a conversation. Gabe was always at the school, so being there wouldn’t be odd.
Within the confines of his car, Gabe’s heart hammered in his ears, the sweat from his palm gathered on his phone, and if his rate of breathing increased much more, he’d fog up the windows. Gabe glanced at the clock—three thirty-five. The staff meeting for teachers was supposed to end at three thirty. Any minute Brandt should emerge from the school.
Gabe had rehearsed dozens of times—in the shower, the car, in front of the mirror, in between appointments at work—exactly what he would say, and in an instant, that all fled from his head. Panicked, he tried to focus on his memorized speech, but every word deserted him. The phone in his hand vibrated.
He’s coming out now.
No! He wasn’t ready. What would he say? Glancing through the windshield, he saw Brandt exit the building, followed by…. Shit, Tish. Her top was tighter and skirt shorter than ever. Man, the high school boys must have been popping boners left and right. They walked close together, and then her hand rested on Brandt’s forearm, and he was… laughing?
Suddenly, Gabe’s resolve turned vengeful. That’s e-fucking-nough of that! Gabe bolted from his car and reached Brandt just as he approached the Mustang with Tish still in tow.
Brandt gave a closemouthed smile when he spotted Gabe. Gabe flashed him a nervous smile. “Hey, Brandt.” He hated how his voice cracked. “Tish.”
“Gabe,” she said in her nasally tone. “So, Brandt, let me know about that dinner, okay?”
“Sure.”
“Talk to you soon, Brandt.” Her smile was all teeth and so transparent. Gabe could practically hear the ticking of that “biological clock” he’d overheard her lamenting over at the bar after she’d had a few too many.
&n
bsp; “See ya, Gabe,” she barely managed before walking off. He waved halfheartedly.
Brandt pulled his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the driver’s door. “Hey, Gabe. How’s it going?” Brandt’s expression was flat. He wasn’t being warm or cold. He was just being nothing.
Gabe stepped forward and resisted putting a hand on Brandt’s arm. How could he be so close and not touch him? “I’m good. You?”
“I’m good too. You have something at the school?”
Gabe’s mind raced. Reason! Alert! We need a reason! “Oh… umm… I’m meeting J-Julia.” Apparently this is rocket science.
Brandt nodded with what appeared to be satisfaction with his answer, and Gabe felt like a fool for lying to him. He wasn’t good at it anyway.
He chuckled. “Okay, that’s not true.”
That brought an amusing confusion to Brandt’s face. “No?”
Gabe dug his hands deep into the pockets of his pants, playing with the keys. Why was he so dang nervous? “I wanted to talk to you. I called you the other day and left a message.”
Gabe was getting a strange vibe from him. While he’d screwed everything up by running and then Tim pulling his bullshit, Gabe didn’t think he deserved to be ignored.
“Sorry, I didn’t get a chance to call you back.”
“It’s okay. I wanted to tell you that what you said the other night, about the attraction between us, I did notice it.” Felt it in every cell of my body in fact.
Brandt looked unsure, more than hesitant. “Listen, I have to be honest here. I’m not after a quick fuck. I don’t play around. I know men who do, and it’s just not me.”
Gabe couldn’t breathe. “You think… you think I’m looking for a fuck?”
Brandt’s brow rose. “Well, yeah. I saw you with that guy. And it’s okay. You’re looking for something different. I can’t say I’m not disappointed.”
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