“Y-yeah, sure. I mean, yes.”
“Tomorrow, Randy isn’t working, and we need to reconnect, you know, get our marriage on track. And if you can take the kids for the day, we can go out and do something together. So can you take them?”
Taking a minute to process her speedy words, he said, “Of course. I said I would. Are you okay?”
She laughed. “I am. Taking my meds, seeing Dr. Nemer, and talking to Randy helped. Thank you, Gabe. Thanks for getting me back on the right track, again.”
“You’re welcome. How about I pick them up at eleven?”
“Sounds good. I’ll have them ready.”
He hung up and slid the phone back into his pocket. “Sorry about that. I told Karen I’d pick the kids up tomorrow for the day.”
“Oh yeah?” Brandt smiled wide. “Where are we all going?”
Chapter 14
THE NEXT day, Maddy and Mikey sat between Gabe and Brandt at Centennial Field at the University of Vermont. The minor-league team, the Vermont Lake Monsters, were playing the Williamsport Cutters. Maddy and Mikey still hadn’t come down from their excitement of taking the “big boat” that carried cars across the lake. Currently, they were both gorging on hot dogs, soda, and popcorn. Gabe knew they’d be bored sooner or later. Sitting for long stretches wasn’t their thing, and even though he’d warned Brandt, the clueless-about-toddlers man insisted they come for a few innings. Gabe hadn’t been able to turn him down.
Last night had fulfilled Gabe’s mushy, romantic side. (Yes, he had one of those.) Today was fulfilling his need-for-baseball side. And in a surprising twist, Gabe found baseball fulfilling both sides since, in a somewhat romantic gesture, he and Brandt were sharing a plate of nachos with their beers, even if they did have two toddlers in between them.
“So how did you know I liked baseball?” Gabe pulled a particularly gooey cheese-covered nacho from the container and popped it into his mouth. “Wait. Forget I asked that.”
Brandt grinned, totally lacking the repentance he’d shown last night over accosting Julia and Betsy for Gabe’s info.
“If they divulged any of my take-to-the-grave secrets, I’ll have no choice but to kill you,” Gabe joked.
Brandt flashed a particularly malicious grin. “Do you mean the one where you climbed the tree to save that itty-bitty kitten, or how you cried when Leonardo DiCaprio died in Titanic?” A sardonic laugh followed Brandt’s secret divulging.
Gabe groaned. “Triple homicide. Julia and Betsy are so dead. I will strangle them.” He buried his face in his hands.
“Not nice, Unca Gabe,” Maddy said.
Gabe looked down on her ketchup-covered face. “You’re right, Maddy. I’ll be nice from now on.” He wiped her face with a napkin.
She smiled up from under the brim of her Monsters ball cap.
A hand touched Gabe’s shoulder. Brandt had reached across the seats. “Hey, I’ll never tell,” he whispered.
Gabe eyed Brandt’s sultry kiss-me lips. How he wanted to taste those lips, all salty and cheesy, and bitter from his beer. The roar of the crowd broke the moment, and with another pat, Brandt returned his attention to the field. However, Gabe couldn’t rid his mind of images from their date the night before. The intimate touches, quiet stolen moments, public affection, laughter. The entire night had morphed into one homoerotic vision of what Gabe wished for his future. Pulling back on the reins had been so hard. Going home alone had been even harder.
Focusing back on the game, Gabe forced himself to stay in the moment and enjoy his time with Brandt and the kids. They both took turns “harassing” the umpire and other team, but they had to shout “nice” things, because Mikey and Maddy had joined in. Soon everyone was calling out the nice things and roaring, “Nice call, ump,” “I like the pitcher’s outfit,” and Maddy’s jumbled sentence that equated to “I hope your mommy doesn’t get mad at you for getting your pants dirty!”
To Gabe’s surprise, shy Maddy had then climbed into Brandt’s lap. “Look, there’s Champ.” Brandt hoisted her on his shoulders to get a better look at the mascot for the Monsters.
“Champ! Lake.” Mikey pointed, jumping up and down.
“Yup, Champ lives in Lake Champlain, but he comes for the games.” Gabe ruffled his hair.
“Up!” Mikey lifted his hands to Gabe, who hoisted him onto his shoulders.
Gabe balanced Mikey and managed to get his phone from his pocket. He opened the camera app and took a shot of Brandt holding Maddy. When Brandt didn’t notice, Gabe focused on his profile and snapped a pic. Brandt turned his head, his eyebrow raised in amusement.
“Taking my picture? That’s gonna cost ya.”
Brandt moved closer to Gabe, who shrugged, feeling embarrassed. “Smart a—um, I mean, smarty-pants.”
“Good catch. Okay, Maddy and Mikey, on the count of three we’re all going to say Champ. Ready?”
Gabe held his camera out and got them all in the frame. “Okay, one, two, three…”
“Champ!”
The kids then took turns seeing the picture and the next fifteen minutes taking pictures with Gabe’s phone. When Maddy yawned and wanted Gabe, he sat and she crawled into his lap. Mikey stood at the end of the aisle, watching the field. Brandt sat next to Gabe and put his arm around his shoulders. Gabe was sure his face would freeze with the smile he wore.
Brandt ran his hand over Maddy’s hair. “You having fun, sweetie?” She nodded, and Gabe knew that she’d either be asleep soon or catch her second wind.
“Do you ever think about having kids?” Immediately, Gabe wanted to bite his tongue off for asking. Might seem like he was sizing up a future prospect.
Brandt’s smile faded, and he looked out over the field. Gabe hoped he hadn’t ruined the mood. “More than I did when I was in the military. There, the life I was living was wrapped up in what the Army wanted me to be. What I did day to day, where I would live, what part of the world I would ship out to. I didn’t want to have a kid that I’d only see for short stretches of time and who would grow up only knowing his father from pictures or on video. I want to be hands-on, be there for everything. Now that I’m out of the service….” Brandt looked to Gabe; his expression held hope. “Maybe I’ll find someone who wants a relationship and wants to have a kid or two.”
Gabe tried to appear nonchalant, as if they were discussing something as mildly important as the weather, but inside he was crushing big-time on Brandt.
“What about you?”
Gabe huffed. “I’m so old now that if I find someone to be in a relationship with, then find a surrogate, try to get her pregnant, and wait another nine months for the birth, well, let’s just say I may need that kid to change my diapers sooner rather than later. I was thinking about adoption, you know, maybe an older kid, or even someone who’s gay or a lesbian, even bi or transgender. Someone who might not get adopted otherwise.”
Gabe knew that had to be a deal breaker. Most men to whom he’d mentioned adopting an older kid had balked, asking why he’d want to take on their baggage. At least a baby wouldn’t have issues, which totally wasn’t true.
“I think adopting an older kid is a great idea.”
He could definitely say he was surprised. Actually he was blown away. Most men wanted an offspring to carry their DNA. Brandt leaned forward and kissed Gabe over Maddy’s head.
There was a crack, and the crowd roared, bringing their attention to the field.
“A home run for the Monsters!” the announcer shouted.
The crowd went wild. Gabe and Brandt laughed as Mikey looked around and then raised his hands and cheered.
“Yeah, monstas,” Maddy whispered. Gabe and Brandt both smiled at her, and Gabe kissed her forehead.
By the third inning, the Monsters were ahead by one and Gabe’s back teeth were floating. Maddy had fallen asleep, and Gabe handed her off to Brandt. He took Mikey with him in search of the bathroom. Luckily the line was short, and he sighed with relief as his bladder emptied. He changed M
ikey’s Pull-Up as he talked nonstop.
Holding Mikey’s hand and heading back to their section, he heard his name called. Gabe turned to see his long-lost friend Marty.
“Oh shit, Marty.” Gabe engulfed him in a bear hug. After Marty’s move to Vermont last fall, Gabe had seen far too little of his friend who—as Marty put it—had tried unsuccessfully to “gay” Gabe up.
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” Marty planted a huge kiss on Gabe’s cheek. “I’ve missed you, mountain man. Whatever are you doing on my side of the pond?”
“Duh, I’m at a game.” He chuckled at Marty’s attire. Every single item of clothing—including his ball cap and scarf—were in the blue and green colors of the team and had the Lake Monsters’ logo. Marty never did anything halfway.
“And you didn’t call me? Break my heart.” Marty pushed out his lower lip in a super pout only Marty could achieve.
Marty and Gabe had spent many afternoons sitting at the ballpark, enjoying the game and commiserating over their love lives. If they’d been even remotely attracted to one another, it would have been a match made in heaven.
“Would it break your heart to hear I’m on a date?”
Marty looked down on Mikey. “He’s a little young, don’tcha think?”
“Ugh, Marty, that’s not even funny. We have Karen’s kids with us.”
Marty’s expression was one of horror. He was so not a kid person. To him they were needy little animals. Marty turned around, as if trying to get a good look at his own ass. “Nope, there’re no monkeys flying out of my butt, so you can’t be on a date.”
Gabe grunted, then smiled. “Always the fu—I mean, clown.”
Marty rubbed his hands together. “So you found a gay man who came on a date when you had two kids in tow. Are you sure he’s not a straight man thinking you’re a single mom?”
“Jesus, Marty. They’re just kids.”
Mikey pulled on Gabe’s hand. “Unca Gabe, go back.”
Marty frowned at him. “Kids are the gay man’s repellent. Well, except that small portion of gay men with breeder dreams like you. So spill about the date? Thinking of your type, he’s some large alpha male with a soft side.”
Gabe chuckled. “Ex-military.”
“GI Joe? Ooooh, I always loved playing with my GI Joe action figure. I must check him out. Lead the way.”
Gabe put up his hand. “Uhh, soon, okay. This is only our second date. Wouldn’t want to scare him off so quickly.” And Marty with his interrogation techniques could send a trained soldier running. He should have worked for the FBI instead of an accounting firm. If he combined those talents, he’d be the perfect IRS agent.
“Good idea. Call me.” Marty gave him a parting hug. The man had never feared public displays of affection.
Returning to Brandt, Gabe collapsed into his seat with Mikey, who he’d had to carry the rest of the way. “Long line at the bathroom?”
“No. I ran into an old friend from Westport. I told you about Marty.”
“The drag queen?”
“Yeah. He loves baseball and comes to these games all the time.”
“You should have brought him down and introduced us. I’d like to meet your friends.”
A shudder of fear ran through Gabe. “Oh, believe me, if you stick around, you’ll meet him. I’ll warn you, though. He’s scary. He’d make a Gestapo interrogation look like a tea party.”
“What do you mean if I stay around?” Brandt smiled and shifted Maddy to his other shoulder so he could take Gabe’s hand. The sincerity in his expression couldn’t be missed. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m in this for the duration of the mission, see where this goes, if you’re in.”
That comment twisted his stomach and curled his toes. Gabe rested his head against Brandt’s shoulder. “I’m definitely in.”
Brandt kissed his head. Gabe was content to lean against his man until his arm started to go numb from Mikey sleeping on him. He had to shift him.
“We probably should head out.” Brandt stood with Maddy.
“Right. We have to get them home.”
THE KIDS slept most of the trip, even missing when they pulled onto the large boat. Brandt reached over and held Gabe’s hand while they were parked on the ferry. “You’re quiet. What’re you thinking about?”
“Sorry. Just thinking about Karen. I hope her date day with Randy went okay. They’ve been having problems.”
“That’s too bad.”
Gabe mulled over just what to tell Brandt about Karen. Since he’d hinted he wasn’t going anywhere soon, he knew telling him about her illness was necessary, given her ups and downs.
“Karen has bipolar depression and was diagnosed after we were married.”
Brandt’s expression showed his sympathy. “I’ve known a few men and women in the Army who had bipolar depression. I’ve seen how rough it can be on a person. Most of them were eventually given medical discharges. The stress of combat, even the Army’s high standards, made them worse.”
Gabe turned toward Brandt in his seat. “Take the stress of having twins when you’re over forty after cheating on your closeted gay husband who could never show you the love and affection you needed or give you the family you wanted and add bipolar depression.”
“Damn.”
“In all the time we were together, Karen did pretty well. She went to therapy and took her meds even when she was doing okay. I think I was so diligent about making sure she did what she needed to do to stay healthy, she was able to stay well. If she didn’t take her meds, I brought them to her. If she missed a therapy appointment, I made her call and reschedule. Made her eat regularly, exercise. What I really became was a built-in support system that she doesn’t have now.”
“What about her husband?”
Just thinking of Randy raised his anger but also sympathy. “I don’t know. He’s a good guy. Doesn’t like me much, but I think he loves Karen and the kids. She thought he was cheating, but maybe they’re going to patch things up today. If they do, then maybe he will be there more for her. Mental illness is rough on relationships, which are hard enough all around.”
They were silent for a moment, and then Brandt said, “I used to have the wrong idea about people with a mental illness. If they just tried harder, worked harder, wanted to be better, then they would.” His face hardened and his brow furrowed. “I had this one guy in my platoon. Sam. He was nineteen and as green as they come. He was a go-getter, a bit gangly, couldn’t seem to get out of his own way, but a team player from the start.
“He never would have been accepted into the military if he had a diagnosed mental illness. He never would have made it past the entrance physical. Over time this spunky kid changed, became moodier, less social, sadder. Many of the guys get homesick, have a hard time adjusting. As instructors we’re supposed to push them past that. It can be… a bit brutal, but we are training soldiers, you know? There were times this kid had the energy of ten men. First in line with a forty-pound pack. Other times, dragging behind everyone, barely able to run. I pushed him, yelled at him.” Brandt paused. “One day he didn’t show for training. Of course, me, I’m heading for his barracks, steaming mad, thinking of how I can punish this kid.”
Gabe placed his hand on Brandt’s arm, hoping this wasn’t going where he feared it was.
“Found him sitting on his bunk, rifle over his lap, and he was running a rag over it, just really slow. Other than that he was still. I don’t even think he heard me come in, and when I got a look at his face, his eyes…. I’ve seen that haunted look before, and it rarely ended well.”
“What did you do?”
“I sat across from him and took the rifle. Checked the chamber. It was loaded, against regulations. For the first time in a long time, I was scared about what that meant. I sat with him for a long time without talking. I knew this wasn’t a case of someone who thought they’d made a mistake by enlisting and wanted out. He wasn’t homesick. Everything I’d seen since he’d stepped foot on the
base hit me hard. It painted a different picture than what I’d believed was going on. Of course in my head I made it about me, wondering if I was the reason that he’d gotten to this place.”
“But you weren’t.”
“I figured that out later, but at the time I wasn’t sure what to think. Anyways, that was early in my career, and after that, I became more attentive to things like that. Of course, over my seventeen years, there were more soldiers with issues new and old, some with mental illness, some with PTSD. So I know some about mental illness even though I’m only a trained military monkey.”
Gabe smiled gently. “You’re my trained military monkey.”
Brandt leaned over the console. “That I am, Mr. Reynolds. Actually, pretty much from the minute you walked into that gym.”
“What?”
Brandt pursed his lips, and Gabe swore his cheeks reddened.
“But you hated me.”
That brought a hearty laugh from Brandt. “Try instant attraction. And that threw me. I went right into hardass mode to stop myself from making a fool out of myself. Besides, you were so pissed at me.”
“And thinking about how gorgeous you were.” Gabe grinned.
Brandt shook his head. “We’re a couple of saps, eh?”
“Yup, but I think I like it.” Gabe’s fear of rejection reared its ugly head, but Brandt wasn’t Tim. If their relationship didn’t work out, the reason wouldn’t be because one of them ran away—he hoped.
“You know what? Me too.”
Chapter 15
WHEN THEY got to the house, Randy wasn’t home, having run out for milk, so when Gabe and Brandt dropped off the twins, he could only introduce Brandt to Karen. When Gabe asked how the day went, Karen plastered on a huge smile and said perfect. Gabe hoped that fake smile really meant okay.
Happily Ever After Isn't Easy Page 11