I’m outside your door. Can I see you for a minute?
The wait for a response was probably only thirty seconds, but it felt like hours. Did you bring pudding?
The last thing he thought he’d do standing outside her door, about to beg for another chance, was laugh. But he did, and he remembered how much he loved that about her—about them. They laughed a lot.
No. He sent that and then typed again. But I’ll go get some.
I’ll be right down.
The grip he had on his phone made him realize his hands were shaking, and he put the thing in his pocket. Every minute he waited seemed like an eternity but then, finally, he saw her through the door.
His heart pounded and he felt the hair stand up on his arms and neck as he watched her come toward him. God, he’d missed her so much. His hands were still shaking and he didn’t want to put them in his pockets, so he curled them into fists so maybe she wouldn’t see how nervous he was.
She pushed open the door, and his heart skipped a beat when she smiled at him. “Hey, you. Come on in.”
Scott wanted to touch her. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and squeeze her and not let go until they physically couldn’t stand there anymore. “Thanks.”
“You want to come up for a few minutes?” The smile was still there, but her eyes were sad.
“Even though I didn’t bring pudding?”
“Normally I wouldn’t offer hospitality to somebody showing up empty-handed like this,” she joked. Then her lip quivered and she gave a tiny one-shouldered shrug that almost killed him. “But I’ve missed you, so I’ll make an exception.”
He followed her up the stairs, trying to think of the right words to say to her. But he also didn’t want to overthink it because the only way he was going to get Jamie back was if he spoke from the heart. She wasn’t going to settle for any less.
“I saw you on the news,” he said when they reached the last flight, just because he couldn’t stand the silence anymore.
“I couldn’t believe it when the news crew showed up. A kid climbed a big-ass tree to rescue the neighbor’s cat.” She unlocked her door and pushed it open. “Needless to say, once the kid got up there, the cat came down. The boy didn’t. But there are worse days, so I don’t mind those kinds of calls.”
Walking into her apartment was like coming home. They’d spent so much time here that everywhere he looked, he was reminded of the weeks he’d had with her—the best weeks of his life.
“I’ve missed you, and when I saw you on the television, I couldn’t... I had to come, you know?”
“How have you been?”
“Shitty.” There was no point in sugarcoating it. “I screwed up again by just walking away. I don’t know if giving you space was the right thing or if I should have pushed and tried to get you to forgive me. I don’t know and I took what I thought was the easy way out.”
“It hasn’t been easy.”
“No. So I’m here and I’m still in love with you and I’m still sorry.” He realized they were both standing there in the living room, and he wished they could sit down. His knees felt a little wobbly. He changed his stance so his knees weren’t locked because passing out wasn’t going to impress her any. “I don’t want to put you in a box, Jamie. I want you to be you because you’re the person I love. I don’t want to change anything about you.”
She folded her arms over her chest, her lips pressed together for a few seconds. “I feel like it’s easy for you to say that now because I’m not going through the door with you anymore. I’m at Ladder 41 and you’re not there when I’m in situations you don’t want me to be in. Removing the situation doesn’t mean the feelings that trigger the behavior are gone, too.”
“Maybe that’s part of it. But there’s a chance we’ll end up working a fire together someday and if we do, it’s because they struck a shitload of alarms, so it’ll be a bad one. If that happens, I swear to God I will not get in your way. I’ll worry about you. Hell, I’ll be scared shitless for you, but I won’t ever disrespect you again.”
“I want to believe that. I want to so badly.”
“I’ve mourned, Jamie. I lost you and I’ve grieved for you and I hate that it was my own damn fault. I lost my mom to something she couldn’t control, but she fought it. And we’ve lost brothers who were doing what they were called to do. I didn’t even give you that. I thought it wouldn’t hurt as much to lose you now, but it’s even worse because I wasted what we had. I want to make memories with you. I want to grab every single day we can together.”
The tears shining in her eyes ripped his heart to pieces, but he forced himself to stand where he was and not try to wipe them away. “I want that, too.”
“We can do it, Jamie. We’ll make a life together and we’ll figure it out. We can have kids and they’ll have days with me and days with you and then we’ll have, what, three days a week all together? And we can chat and text and video chat during downtime. We can have it all.”
She laughed, the sound a bubble of happiness through her tears. “I can almost see it.”
“I can see it. And we’ll worry about each other, but we’ll be strong.” He moved toward her, unable to help himself. “I’ll go see the therapist that Ashley and Danny go to if you want me to. If we have a problem, we’ll figure it out together. I don’t ever want to walk away from you again.”
“You better not.” She looked him in the eye as she closed the distance between them. “Don’t ever push me away like that again.”
Burying his hands in her hair, he rested his forehead against hers, blinking against the tears that blurred his vision. “I swear I won’t. I love you, Jamie.”
“I love you, too.”
Scott felt like all the broken pieces inside of him knit back together again, and he kissed her. Slowly and tenderly because he wanted to savor this gift he’d been given. Then he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed.
“You’re everything to me,” he whispered. “I’m going to spend the rest of our lives making sure you know it.”
“I can’t wait.” She tilted her head back to smile at him. “It’s still early. What do you say we take a drive down to this little place I know on the South Shore and catch up. They have great seafood.”
Three months later...
THE FLAMES GREW taller as smoke billowed around them. The smoke was thick and black, smelling like burnt meat and barbecue sauce.
“Turn the gas off,” Jamie yelled.
“Hey,” Scott said, turning and waving a spatula at her. “You’re not in charge of this company.”
“Obviously not, because if I was, that grill wouldn’t be sending up smoke signals to the neighbors to call 911 right now.”
“This is like a bad joke,” Lydia said. “How many firefighters does it take to put out a grill fire?”
There were half a dozen of them standing around the grill, so more than six, Jamie thought. Grant and Gavin were just laughing but the others ignored them.
“Maybe I should get a fire extinguisher,” Ellen Porter said.
“We’d never get that taste out of anything we cooked after that,” Aidan argued.
“Turn the gas off,” Jamie repeated.
“If we turn the gas off,” Scott said, “then the fire will go out.”
“I can’t believe they haven’t let you skip the exam and just made you an honorary officer,” Jamie said.
He waved the spatula at her again. “You’re going to pay for that later, funny lady.”
“If the fire goes out, how will we cook off the gunk so we can make the steaks?” Aidan shook his head, and then jumped back when something—probably leftover fat stuck to the grill plate—sizzled and popped. “Joey, you always man the grill when we do charity cookouts. Explain this to her.”
Joe, one of the guys fro
m Ladder 41, shook his head. “Hell, no. I’m not here to explain anything to my LT. I’m just here for the beer and the steak, and it’s probably a good thing I like mine more on the well-done side.”
“If you turn the burners on full, that shit’ll burn off faster and we can eat sometime today,” Tommy said from his lounge chair in the shade.
“Dad!” Ashley walked out onto the back deck, one hand on her baby bump. “You of all people should know better than to say that to them.”
Jamie laughed and turned back to the folding table that was practically groaning under the weight of potluck food. They’d all come together to christen Aidan and Lydia’s new house with a backyard barbecue, and all she could do was hope the guys didn’t burn down their backyard. That would just be embarrassing, both personally and professionally.
Jess stepped out onto the deck, carrying a tray of condiments. “I don’t even know if there’s room for these on that table.”
“We’ll make room.” Jamie started shifting dishes around. “I heard you officially opened the Boston branch of Broussard Financial Services last week.”
“I did!” Jess set the tray down in the clearing Jamie had made. “It’s scary, but so exciting. And I’ll still fly to San Diego now and then, but being home with Rick all the time is amazing.”
“How are your grandparents doing?”
“They’re doing great. They love where they’re living and they’ve made a lot of friends there. I swear, they’re always doing something. And my dad’s going to fly out later this month.”
“Really? That’s awesome, Jess.” Jess’s father had been estranged from his parents for all of her life, so getting him to Boston was a big deal.
“I’m nervous, but I think it’s going to be good. Seeing the office is an excuse, but part of rebuilding their relationship is him facing where he came from. We’re going to have them all over for dinner, of course.”
“That’ll be good because it’s the house he grew up in, so the memories will be there, but you guys have changed it enough so they won’t be overwhelming.”
Jess smiled. “Exactly. I think after this visit, if it goes well, we’ll probably start planning our wedding. It won’t be at Kincaid’s Pub, but we’ll try to make a decent party.”
“Cavemen cooked dinosaur meat over open fires, didn’t they?” she heard Rick say. “Why can’t we just throw the damn steaks on?”
“Evolution,” Jess called to him. “Embrace it, honey.”
Inevitably, the flames ran out of caked-on food to burn off and the guys were able to throw steaks and chicken on the grill. Aidan and Lydia didn’t have a lot of outdoor furniture yet, but they all stood around or perched on whatever they could find to eat. There was a lot of laughter, and Jamie basked in the glow of more happiness than she’d ever believed she’d find.
This was an amazing family she’d found for herself. It was unfortunate that Joey was the only guy from her company who’d been able to make it, but they’d all been together for a charity half marathon the month before. There was great chemistry between the companies and she didn’t think it would be too long before she’d be looking at another promotion. And the separation from Scott was just right. They had the common bond of their career, but each had the space to do their jobs without distraction. Everything was perfect.
Once everybody had eaten, she helped carry the leftover food inside. Luckily, they’d eaten almost all of it and the dishes had been brought in disposable containers, so there wasn’t a lot of cleanup. But she took the time to wash up the few dishes and barbecue tools they’d used.
She heard the footsteps behind her just a few seconds before Scott’s arms wrapped around her waist. He kissed the back of her neck and then she leaned back against him.
“Nice party,” she said.
“Yeah. They’ve got a nice place here. Worth having to drive to work for them, I guess.”
“It’s not that far to drive. And it’s definitely worth it.”
He hugged her close, resting his chin on her shoulder. “Are houses something you think about?”
She’d finally given up her apartment a few weeks ago. After spending a couple of months practically living together, it hadn’t taken much for her to officially move in with him. “Not really. I like our place, and I like the fact we can walk so many places. And being around for Tommy so he’s not alone.”
Her personal life was as perfect as her professional one, finally. She and Scott were happy. He’d gone home to Nebraska with her in July, and her family had loved him. Her niece had been fascinated by his accent and made him repeat things over and over so she could laugh. Say car again! Say park!
“I already have everything I want,” she said, turning her head so she could kiss his cheek.
“Everything?”
“Well, I still don’t have a car with heated seats but other than that, yes.”
“Don’t think I haven’t noticed how often you take my truck because it’s easier to get out of the driveway. Or so you claim.”
Laughing, she pulled the plug in the sink and dried her hands on the towel so she could turn and wrap her arms around his neck. “It’s not my fault your big truck hogs all the space. My poor car barely fits in the corner.”
“Why do I feel like I’m going to start getting links to property listings with big driveways?”
She laughed and gave him a quick kiss. “I’m serious about being happy where we are. You’re all I need.”
“And maybe this?” He held up his hand, the diamond ring between his fingers sparkling under the overhead light.
Her breath caught in her throat, and she couldn’t speak.
“I love you, Jamie Rutherford. Will you marry me?”
She nodded, hating the tears blurring her vision because she couldn’t see the ring. While he took her left hand and slid it onto her finger, she used her right to swipe at her eyes. “It’s beautiful.”
“You’re beautiful.”
She kissed him and then looked into his eyes. “I love you so much.”
“Let’s go tell everybody.”
Jamie knew as soon as they walked out the door that at least some of them had known this moment was coming. If not today, then soon, because Aidan and his sisters all turned to look in their direction and Lydia’s eyes went directly to her left hand.
She held it up so the stones could sparkle in the light, and there was a lot of squealing and hugging from the women and backslapping from the guys. The tears came back when Ashley squeezed her extra hard before handing her over to Lydia for the same treatment.
“I told you,” Ashley said, “that Jamie is our perfect third.”
She had, the day they’d shopped for dresses for Lydia’s wedding. Smiling, she looked at the guys, who were standing with Scott and saying who knew what to make him laugh. Then Tommy pulled her into his arms for a hug that almost squeezed the air out of her.
“Welcome to the family,” he said, his gruff voice choked with emotion. “You’re everything I ever wanted for my boy.”
She probably would have cried some more, but Ashley clapped her hands for everybody’s attention. “This seems like a perfect time to bring out the desserts, doesn’t it?”
There were cheers and Lydia waved her hand at her husband. “Hey, come help me cut the carrot cake.”
As the cheers died abruptly, Scott leaned close to whisper in her ear. “You sure you’re ready to be a part of this forever?”
“I can’t wait.”
* * * * *
Go back to the beginning with
HEAT EXCHANGE,
book one in New York Times bestselling author Shannon Stacey’s
BOSTON FIRE series.
ONE
LYDIA KINCAID COULD pull a pint of Guinness so perfect her Irish an
cestors would weep tears of appreciation, but fine dining? Forget about it.
“The customer is disappointed in the sear on these scallops,” she told the sous-chef, setting the plate down.
“In what way?”
“Hell if I know. They look like all the other scallops.” Lydia had a hairpin sticking into her scalp, and it took every bit of her willpower not to poke at it. Her dark hair was too long, thick and wavy to be confined into a chic little bun, but it was part of the dress code. And going home with a headache every night was just part of the job. “Ten bucks says if I wait three minutes, then pop that same plate in the microwave for fifteen seconds and take it out to her, she’ll gush over how the sear is so perfect now.”
“If I see you microwaving scallops, I’ll make sure the only food you ever get to touch in this city again is fast food.”
Lydia rolled her eyes, having heard that threat many times before, and accepted a fresh plate of scallops from the line cook. The sous-chef just sniffed loudly and dumped the unacceptable batch in the garbage, plate and all. She was pretty sure the guy spent all his off time watching reality television chefs throw tantrums.
Three hours later, Lydia was in her car and letting her hair down. She dropped the bobby pins and elastic bands into her cup holder to fish out before her next shift and then used both hands to shake her hair out and massage her scalp.
She hated her job. Maybe some of it stemmed from the disparity between the cold formality of this restaurant and the warm and loud world she’d come from, but she also flat-out wasn’t very good at it. The foods perplexed her and, according to the kitchen manager, her tableside manner lacked polish. Two years hadn’t yet managed to put a shine on her. The tips were usually good, though, and living in Concord, New Hampshire, cost less than living in Boston, but it still wasn’t cheap.
She’d just put her car in gear when she heard the siren in the distance. With her foot still on the brake, she watched as the fire engine came into view—red lights flashing through the dark night—and sped past.
With a sigh, she shifted her foot to the gas pedal. She didn’t need to hold her breath anymore. Didn’t need to find the closest scanner. Nobody she loved was on that truck so, while she said a quick prayer for their safety, they were faceless strangers and life wasn’t temporarily suspended.
Fully Ignited (Boston Fire #3) Page 24