by Aly Martinez
I nodded again.
“I was allowed to leave the Academy after my second year, no penalty. But, once you start your third year, you’re expected to sign a contract, much like an enlistment. Shannon had already signed, so if he got the boot and was unable to serve out his time in the Air Force—say, if he were gay—he would have been stuck repaying a ton of money. So Shannon devised a plan. We were only a few weeks from the end of the year, so he told me to transfer out and he’d cheat on a final exam in order to get kicked out without that nasty little gay word being added to his file. With promises of him working off his contract and supporting us while I finished college somewhere else, I was completely on board. We approached Dave, the guy who’d caught us, with our plan and he agreed not to out us as long as we left the Academy. I was so fucking blinded by Shannon that I never even wondered how this guy who’d been ready to throw us under the bus because it was his duty had changed his tune in a matter of days to the point that he was okay with lying as long as we left the Academy.”
I drew in a sharp breath as my stomach started to churn. As much as I wanted him to get to the part where he kicked Shannon to the curb because, deep down, he knew I was out there waiting on him, I had a sneaking suspicion that that wasn’t how it was going to end. And, as pain and regret sifted through Evan’s features, I hated being right.
Giving his hip a comforting squeeze, I silently encouraged him to continue.
“It was Shannon’s idea to call my mom and John that night and tell them I was leaving school because I was gay. God.” He paused, closing his eyes for a long, agonizing moment. When they popped open, the pain was gone, but there was a storm brewing more prominently than ever. “It was the only time in my life I’d actually said the word. But I was in love and Shannon was gay. I wanted to be whatever he was.”
I stretched my arm out and pulled his head down on top of it. His large body curled into mine as the memories ravaged him.
“I hate when people call me gay now,” he whispered then kissed my arm. “Not because there’s anything wrong with it, but because it’s not who I am. It’s who he was.”
I lazily drew a circle on his shoulder. “What did your parents say?”
“They were shocked but accepting. It wasn’t as bad as I’d thought it was going to be. Shannon sat with me through it all.”
At least there was that. I’d heard horror stories about telling the parents. It might have been the only positive about not having a family—I hadn’t had a closet to come out of.
“Anyway…I left school a few weeks later. He kissed me in his car at the airport, told me he loved me, and I’ve never heard from him again.”
My.
Heart.
Stopped.
“I’m sorry. What?”
“He cut me out of his life the very next day. Sound familiar?”
I cursed under my breath as guilt consumed me.
“I inadvertently heard the specifics from my friends who kept in touch. You remember my buddy Scott, right?”
“Unless this ends with he killed Shannon, I’m not sure that is a pertinent question at this juncture,” I snapped, horrified by what I’d just heard.
He chuckled and kissed my shoulder. “No. The Air Force is a small world. Shannon is a civilian contractor now. He and Scott work together these days.”
My body jerked. “Okay…now, unless this ends with you killing Scott since the last time I saw him in your fucking house, I’m really not sure this is a pertinent question.”
He laughed loudly, but I saw not one thing funny. I had to have been missing something.
“Scott doesn’t ask questions,” Evan continued. “And I was so embarrassed that I never told him the whole truth about what happened. He knew that Shannon and I were seeing each other. He knew after I left school that we broke up. And he has gathered over the years that it was nasty. He does his best to never even mention that Shannon exists. But he doesn’t know the details.”
“Neither do I!” I sat up in outrage on his behalf. “What actually happened? Talk faster.”
The side of his mouth hiked up and his eyes warmed. “It was no secret that I didn’t give a shit about school. I just wanted to fly. My parents were the only reason I was at the Academy. I would have been just as happy at a community college as long as I could fly when I was done. So, from what I can piece together, Shannon had been cheating on me with Dave, and they were both afraid that, when I found out, I’d flip and leave, taking them down with me. So the real plan Shannon devised was to get me out of the picture before I had the chance.”
“Holy motherfucking shit. That asshole!”
“Pretty much,” Evan replied nonchalantly, rolling as he pulled me back down, this time with my head resting on his arm.
“Please tell me you got both of their asses kicked out.”
“Nope. I did absolutely nothing. And that included living my life. I swore off men. Started dating women exclusively, and for the first time, I started seeing people for their gender and not the person inside.” He peered down at me, his eyes sparkling with some unidentifiable emotion. Or, at least, one I wasn’t willing to acknowledge yet. “Fast forward ten years and cue Henry Alexander.”
A rush of heat washed over me. “I hear that guy’s a real prick.”
“Nah. He’s crazy though. But he also made me laugh. And he was so fucking sexy. And, despite the fact that he was a man who happened to be incredibly famous”—he motioned a hand around the room—“and loaded, he still awakened a fire inside me that had been dormant for so long I’d forgotten it existed.”
“Evan…” I breathed as my chest tightened.
“Mmm… There it is,” he moaned, pressing our foreheads together. “Now, that’s how you say my name. Not in question, but in prayer.”
I wanted to crawl down the bed, strip him naked, and then bury myself so deep inside him neither of us would ever resurface, but my damn curiosity was killing me. “Why didn’t you go back and tell them he was gay? Get him and that other guy kicked out for the shit they pulled?”
“Henry, Shannon was a dick and he fucking destroyed me. But I wasn’t going to out him. Karma did that for me when a year later when he and Dave got caught and ultimately forced out. Scott enjoyed the hell out of ‘slipping up’ and mentioning that one.” He half smiled before getting serious again. “The point is, he didn’t cheat on me and then get rid of me because he wanted Dave. He did it because he didn’t want…me.”
My mouth gaped as it dawned on me why he was telling me about this.
Evan was just as broken as I was, and the eerie similarities were probably what had drawn us together—and then torn us apart.
Reality slashed through me.
“I’m scared too,” he whispered, his breath flittering across my lips. “And, in the beginning, I ran, throwing up every barrier I could think of to keep myself from being hurt again. But it was because of me and my demons. Not you. If I’d known you left last week because of yours…there isn’t a force in the world that could have kept me away.”
I slung a leg over his hip and buried my face in his neck. “I’m sorry. I’ve been so worried about the moment you left that I never even considered that maybe your spiral down could be a good thing.”
“I won’t leave you,” he promised in my ear.
And, for the first time in all the thirty-one years of my life, I allowed myself to believe that someone might actually mean it.
And it was Evan.
That was the highest high I would ever experience.
HIS BODY COILED around me so tight I could barely breathe.
“Say it again,” he urged, but the desperation made his voice crack.
Leaning away, I forced his eyes to mine. “I won’t leave you. I’m crazy about Henry Gilchrist. And, honestly, I have very little interest in Henry Alexander—except for the fact that he comes with the package.”
He sucked in a deep breath and bit his lip to fight back the emotion that was tryi
ng to war its way out.
“I mean it. No more running. No more hiding. It’s a leap of faith. I get that. But we can jump together.”
He nodded, but I needed more.
“Say it,” I ordered.
His chest shuddered, but the words finally breezed from between his perfect lips. “I can do that.”
“Evan,” I prompted.
A slow smile turned the corners of his lips up. “I can do that, Evan.”
I growled seconds before sealing my mouth over his in a searing kiss that I prayed would brand us both.
His moan vibrated in my mouth as he rolled, covering me completely from head to toe. My hips lifted on their own accord, grinding against his in a search-and-rescue mission for friction. Never one to disappoint, Henry shifted until our hard-ons found each other. It was a union of beauty, and it sent sparks of overwhelming need through not only my shaft, but directly to my heart.
“This time, I’m taking you,” I announced, moving my attention to his neck.
His body tensed, but the subtle circle of his hips continued to torment me.
“This is it, Henry. This is where we start. No games. No fears. No bullshit. This is where you give yourself to me, completely.”
“And what about you? Will you be giving yourself to me?” he asked seductively.
“No,” I answered.
His head snapped back, those bright, blue eyes dimming. “No?”
“I have nothing left to give. You own me. And I’m not just talking about sexually. You’ve been a whirlwind who has stripped me bare and brought me to my knees more than once. I’m not naïve enough to believe that it will be smooth skies from here on out. The only thing I can do is swear I’ll weather any storm as long as you’re on the other side, waiting for me.”
His breath hitched and he melted on top of me. His naturally hard planes softened until we were flush.
“Jesus, Evan.”
“This—tonight—is the moment where you cease to exist and we truly begin. Tell me you trust me.” With his body still limp, I made a quick move to flip us over, but I didn’t land on top of him. Immediately shifting directions, I moved off the bed, his startled eyes tracking me. I stood to my full height and stared down at him. “Say it.”
His chest was rising and falling at an increased speed, but there wasn’t an ounce of nerves or hesitation in his voice. “I trust you, Evan.”
My world as I knew it flipped upside down with only one sentence, but for once, my heart and my soul remained firmly anchored in place—past, present, and forever.
My knees hit the floor in record speed, and I began tugging at the button on his slacks.
He didn’t delay in sitting up to join me in my frenzy.
His hands went to the top of my shirt, tearing at it until the material gave way and buttons flew across the room. Then my undershirt was peeled over my head and his open mouth landed on my shoulder while I fought with his pants.
Soon enough, we were both naked and his mouth kissed its way to mine as I knelt on the ground at his feet, one hand working his length from base to tip.
Holding his eyes, I made my intentions clear as I slowly leaned down.
His pupils dilated and his lips parted as he watched my decent with rapt attention.
“Hey, Henry,” I said and then laved the head of his cock, the taste of his arousal exploding on my tongue.
“Hmm,” he hummed down at me, gripping the side of the bed for dear life.
I licked my lips and winked. “You can consider this your spiral down.” And then I gave him the final piece of me and slid him between my lips.
“Fuck,” he groaned, his torso falling back against the bed as his hands flew into my hair.
His sizable length bottomed out in the back of my throat before I was able take him all, so I added my hand to his base until I covered him. Then I worked his cock thoroughly, his abs rippled making for an outstanding view.
While my tongue teased his slit, I trailed my damp fingers between his legs to the tight ring, teasing and taunting his rim as his body writhed.
There was no denying I was out of practice, but if Henry noticed at all, he didn’t let on. A symphony of curse words and my name filled the air around us as I pressed a single finger into him, his hips bucking in response. My tongue circled his tip, lapping at the bead of precome that continuously formed, while his fists twisted in the covers until his knuckles turned white.
“More,” he begged, arching his back and tipping his hips up.
I needed lube, but that would have required tracking my pants down on the floor for my wallet. And no way I was stopping. Releasing him from my mouth, I glided my tongue down the underside of his cock, feeling it twitch in my hand as I reached his balls and then below. As he realized my final destination, he lifted a leg to the bed in a silent plea.
A guttural moan rumbled in his throat as I removed my finger and drove my tongue into the sensitive flesh.
“Oh, God, Evan,” he cried.
My erection was aching between my legs, needy for a taste of what my mouth was devouring.
“I want to fuck you so bad,” I mumbled, dropping my free hand to offer my throbbing cock a few strokes of relief.
“Then do it.” He moaned. “There’s a condom and lube in my bag.”
He did not have to tell me twice. I was on my feet, searching the front pocket of his bag, in a matter of seconds. However, I only carried the lube back to the bed.
“Have you been with anyone else since we first hooked up?” I asked, drizzling lube into my palm.
“No,” he replied with an adamant shake of his head.
I dropped my wet hand between his legs and circled his entrance. “Do you trust me?”
His hips rose off the bed and he impaled himself on my finger. “Completely.”
“No condom,” I declared, adding another finger to stretch him.
He licked his lips. “No condom,” he agreed breathily.
My cock jumped at the thought of taking him bare. I’d never been with a man without a barrier, and the idea of feeling Henry flesh on flesh was almost more than I could take. A growl tore from my throat as I snatched up the lube with my other hand and liberally poured it over my cock.
After discarding the bottle on the bed beside him, I continued to work his ass while I slicked myself. “Scoot back,” I ordered.
He quickly obeyed, moving up the bed until his feet were both flat on the mattress and his knees were bent.
I was forced to remove my fingers as I followed him forward, crawling onto the bed and then settling on my knees between his legs. His lust-filled eyes darkened as I teased my cock up and down his crack, and his body tensed as I poised myself at his entrance.
“Grip yourself,” I demanded, pressing in a fraction of an inch.
“Oh…fuck,” he gasped, throwing his head back, his face contorting in pure ecstasy. “Evan, please.”
I smiled to myself and pressed only the slightest bit deeper, but it was more than enough to make us both groan. As much as I was enjoying his reaction, I was equally torturing myself.
Dropping to an elbow by his head, I sank an inch deeper but still refused to move. “Give me your mouth.”
His parted lips instantly found mine, and I swallowed his whimper as I pressed in farther. Our tongues danced as pleasure coursed through me.
“Fuck me,” he pleaded into my mouth.
It was a sentiment I shared, but right then, I was basking in the overwhelming feelings of it all. It was better than anything I could have imagined, but that had nothing to do with being bare and everything to do with Henry.
I turned my head and whispered in his ear, “Do you feel that?”
He nodded, the stubble on his jaw scrubbing with mine.
Remembering his words from over a week earlier, I thrust forward, planting myself to the hilt. “This doesn’t make you gay, Henry.” I roughly bit the lobe of his ear. “It just makes you mine.”
His arms fol
ded around my neck, and a loud moan hissed from his mouth. “Yours.”
Slowly withdrawing, I corrected him. “Evan.”
His muscles clenched around me as he confirmed, “Yours, Evan.”
No truer words had ever been spoken. I didn’t know what the future held for us, but no matter what happened from that moment on, Henry Alexander Gilchrist would always be mine.
For nearly a half hour, I worked him with my cock and my hands. By the end, we were both covered in sweat with our releases mingling in the ridges on his stomach.
We collapsed, sated, on the bed and then spent the next hour talking and laughing, curled into each other’s sides—the way it should have been.
Our first time together might not have gone the way I wanted, but I could live with the memories of that night and the searing pain that had followed if I was lucky enough to keep him.
It was suddenly clear that I’d been right when I’d met Henry. He was a storm of epic proportions. But maybe he was the only one capable of tearing my walls down.
And then to find that my broken pieces actually made him whole?
Well, that was nothing short of perfection.
My sore, sexed-out muscles protested as I awoke to the blaring of my phone on the nightstand. Henry’s naked body was draped across me, his even breaths tickling my chest. I did my best contortionist act to silence the noise without jostling him.
Once I got my phone, I saw my stepfather’s name blinking on the screen.
I glanced back down at Henry before lifting it to my ear. If my parents were calling so early, something had to be up.
“Hey, John,” I whispered, smoothing down the top of Henry’s sleep-mussed blond hair.
“So your mother and I just got back from breakfast at The Sunrise,” he informed me.
The Sunrise had been a weekend ritual for them for as long as I could remember. Sometimes, they went on Saturday. Sometimes on Sunday. But, regardless of the day, it happened every weekend. And, up until that moment, I’d never thought too much about their predictable routine. However, now, my mind drifted with a sense of excitement as I considered the kind of rituals Henry and I would create together over the next…oh, lifetime.