Relief and guilt mingled in her stomach, making her feel ill. She and Letizia had worked hard to craft the perfect report, one that gave Andersen just enough meat that he would take his time digesting it, but one that wouldn’t reveal all they had learned. Dara would pass the additional information along to Raj when she met him for her training, and she fervently hoped they would be able to uncover the truth about the whole affair. Her strength had come from believing she was no longer a pawn in Magnum’s game, in Andersen’s game, but she was beginning to lose faith that this was true. Conspiracy seemed to close in on her from all sides, and she felt like she was drowning, no longer certain which direction was up and which was down.
Had Letizia known of her intent, there would have been no end to her berating Dara, which was why Dara kept it to herself. For days she had been searching for Javier, trying to contrive a way of bumping into him so she could question him, but she had been unsuccessful. Tomorrow was her training day, and she was determined to see him before she handed the information over.
She worked without a break all day long, hoping to get everything finished so she could leave right at the end of her shift to look for him. To her relief, Andersen had a late meeting and was unable to hold her up with any last-minute requests. Pushing her way through the throng, she caught sight of Javier and shadowed him out the door and through the thoroughfare. She was afraid he’d head for home, and she had no reason to meet him there. Andersen would never trust her again if he found out that she’d been speaking with Javier.
Fortunately, he headed for the shops, and she was able to follow him, hoping all the while that no one noticed her following him. He finished his errands quickly and set off for his apartment at a brisk pace, Dara maintaining a safe distance between the two of them. Rather than head directly home, he walked into the park with her trailing behind him, weaving his way through the statues. She tried to keep up, but she soon lost sight of him. Cursing under her breath, she sagged against a statue, letting out a strangled cry of surprise when he materialized on the other side of it.
“Why are you following me?” he hissed, the words slipping from between his teeth.
“Andersen is asking questions. You need to watch your back,” she said, glaring at him.
“You think I don’t know that? Creators, Dara, I expected you to have learned a thing or two by now. Do you think I’d be stupid enough to think I’d escaped him?”
“Then what are you playing at, Javier? You don’t think you can beat him at his own game, do you?”
“I think what I’ve always thought, that you should mind your own business.” His face hardened.
“Listen to me, I know about your sister, so if you’re trying—” He got in her face and she took a step back, gasping in surprise.
“You don’t know anything.” His eyes blazed and his jaw muscles strained as he spoke. “Stay out of this. I won’t warn you again.”
With that, he turned on his heel and stalked from the park, leaving her more confused than ever.
Chapter 23
“This is good work,” Raj said when he finished reading the report Dara had prepared.
“Thanks,” she said tiredly.
He set the tablet aside and fixed his gaze on her, but she averted her eyes. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know what to think anymore. I have no idea what the truth is.”
“I know, but we’ll get the data miners on it, see if we can figure out—”
“That’s not the only thing I’m talking about,” she said, snapping her gaze back to his.
Closing his eyes, he sighed and pushed a hand through his hair. “What does truth mean anyway?”
“Seriously? You’re going to play that game with me?”
“It’s not a game.” He opened his eyes and looked at her. “And, yes, I am serious. The truth is a subjective thing. We all create our own truths, all the time. Think about your years of schooling. You were convinced that was the truth. Now you’re here, training with me, and you’re convinced this is the truth.”
It frustrated her that he was right. Balling her hands into fists, she turned away. “I don’t know who to trust anymore.”
“You can trust me.”
“Can I?” She met his gaze again, searching his steady, dark eyes for a sign.
“Yes, you can, and I hope you’ll come to believe that. My goal here is to help you. I want to give you the information and let you drawn your own conclusions about it, whatever they are.”
“You know, that’s what everyone tells me. Everyone says they’re just presenting the facts, but those facts vary from person to person.”
“It’s what people do. That’s what I meant about the truth. Think about it, Dara. It’s easy to get caught up in the group mentality. When everyone around you believes in something, you start believing too. The domes are structured the way they are for a reason. The Creators have made an art of bringing social pressure to bear. You fall in line, do what they ask of you, because it’s what all your neighbors are doing. It has to be the right thing to do if everyone else is doing it, doesn’t it?”
“How does that make the Free Thinkers any different?”
“It doesn’t, not always,” he said, shocking her. Her expression provoked a grim smile from him. “What, you thought I was going to try to convince you that all the Free Thinkers are different, as if we’re special or something? We’re as subject to stupid human whims as anyone else. I’m not going to deny that I’ve seen the crowd mentality at work here more than once.”
“Then why do you stay?”
“Because I believe that the Free Thinkers do want to give us choices. Sure, everyone here has their own agendas. Some are working toward the greater good, but others have less pure motives; revenge or a grab for power or whatever. I will never, ever tell you that everything we do here is the right thing, because I object to the Free Thinkers’ methods at times.”
“And they let you stay?”
“Yes. It’s part of the overall philosophy.” Picking up his tablet, he paged through a few screens, then handed it to her. “See this? This was the Constitution, the document on which the former system of government was based in the country once known as the United States. Where we are, it was part of the U.S. once, before the Great Famine, before corporations began to replace government. Read the first part.”
Dara took the tablet and read the portion Raj indicated. The language was archaic, the concepts so foreign that she had trouble making any sense of it, and she frowned. “‘Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances’,” she read aloud. “What does all that mean?”
“It means that, in the past, the right to say what you thought was protected. As long as what you said wasn’t a direct threat to another person or institution, you were free to criticize at will. You could complain about the government, corporations, anything and everything. There were limits, of course, but the bottom line was that you could question. In its purest form, an inherit wariness was built into the old system of government to encourage that questioning. The government was meant to protect the people, but the people who helped establish that government believed it was dangerous to become too sanguine.
“What makes me believe the Free Thinkers are different is that questioning is at the heart of what we do. The Creators don’t want us to question because it leads to Contributors thinking about their position in society and wondering why things are the way they are. Who benefits? How well does it work? The Creators want to run things like factories, plug the parts in where they’re supposed to go.”
“So the questioning helps keep you aware of what’s going on around you,” she said slowly, still trying to put the pieces together in her mind.
“Exactly. When you don’t question, when you just accept,
you don’t stop to think about what you’re doing. You follow the crowd, do what they’re doing. The consequences of that can be disastrous. I’ve done things, Dara, things that, when I think of them now, make me sick. But at the time I didn’t question, I just did what I was told. I didn’t know any other way, and the thought of even questioning terrified me because of the attention it would bring. I believed that my role was to trust in what my Creator said and to be a good example, the perfect Contributor.” Bitterness peppered his tone.
“What you’re saying is, because I can ask questions about what the Free Thinkers are doing, it means they’re better?”
“Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. What I’m saying is that the fact that you can even ask questions is a good sign. Can you ask questions of Magnum? Could you challenge them when they told you taking your mother away was the best solution?”
“No.” She hated that he brought her mother into the argument, even if what had happened to her mother had been her impetus for joining the Free Thinkers. Her face must have given him an indication of her feelings, because he was suddenly contrite.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring your mother into this. What I’m trying to say is, I’m glad you’re questioning, glad you’re not jumping into this trusting that every Free Thinker has altruistic reasons for doing what they do. I want you to keep questioning.”
“I will.” She was reluctant to admit it, but his words had brought her some relief. Still, he hadn’t dispelled all her fears. “My problem with what’s going on now is that I feel like I am doing what I’m told without question. Letizia tells me to trust in the Free Thinkers, Mal does—even you do.”
“Yeah, you’re right. We are telling you that.” Regret filled his eyes, along with consciousness. “No solution is perfect. Things are going on behind the scenes that you’re not aware of—even I’m not aware of everything that happens. A certain amount of letting go comes with the territory. I have to place some trust in the Free Thinkers and hope that their motives are good, but I don’t really know. The thing is, I know I can question those intentions. It might be a relief to absolve myself of the responsibility of picking things apart, but doing so makes me a part of the system. I swore a long time ago I was done with that, and if I ever felt the Free Thinkers were leading me in that direction, I’d leave. It’s as simple as that.”
“Then promise me that you’ll tell me if you do suspect it’s happening.”
“Only if you promise to do the same for me.”
“It’s a deal.” He offered her his hand, a slight smile on his face, and she smiled in response, extending her hand to him. His palm was rough and warm, and as his hand closed around hers and they exchanged a solemn shake, the constriction in her chest eased.
Chapter 24
Nervous jitters made Dara’s stomach churn and her palms sweat, filling her with so much excess adrenaline that she felt like she might burst. She exhibited no signs of this, though, as she entered Andersen’s office and took a seat. He closed the door and sat across from her, studying her face with an inscrutable expression. She had given him the report on Jasmine Shah three days ago, and she assumed it was the reason he had called her into his office.
“Would you like tea?” he asked, gesturing to a serving tray on top of the cart that stood behind his desk.
The question surprised her. He had never before offered her anything, and the show of courtesy immediately put her on her guard. “Thank you, sir,” she said through stiff lips.
Further stunned by his getting up and pouring the tea himself, she took advantage of his temporary distraction to suck in a few deep breaths, clenching her hands together until she felt like her bones might crack from the stress. Her rate of breathing had increased, and if she didn’t get it under control soon it would come out in short gasps.
“How would you like a special treat? I happen to have a bit of honey,” he said, his back still toward her. She wondered if he was doing this deliberately. Something about the set of his shoulders made her think he was enjoying himself.
“That’s very generous, sir. Thank you.”
He set a delicate cup in front of her, the slight tap it made as it came in contact with his desk nearly sending her through the ceiling. She flashed what she hoped was a sickly, grateful smile at him and forced herself to take a sip of the tea. The flavor made her eyes widen. It was much finer than the tea she and her father received as part of their rations, and the sweetness of the honey brought out its delicate floral, grassy flavor.
“It’s quite nice, isn’t it?” he asked, noting her reaction.
“The best I’ve ever had, sir,” she said, seeing no need to lie.
A small, satisfied smile played on his lips, and he settled into his chair. “I was most pleased with your report.”
“It’s my pleasure to contribute.” Averting her eyes, Dara hoped he would interpret the gesture as one of modesty rather than what it actually was: an attempt to conceal her disgust. Bile rose to the back of her throat.
“I’ve no doubt you’re aware of the value of the project I proposed.”
“I am, sir.” Her voice was automatic, delivering the adoration and praise he expected. “It could be one of the most important inventions in the history of the domes.”
“It’s the most important invention since the domes were conceived.” He almost purred the words, and she hazarded a glance at him. Pleasure radiated from his face, and she knew some good must have come of his secret meetings with the Creators. He wouldn’t allow his emotions to be so obvious if he didn’t have reason to be confident.
Deciding it was an acceptable risk, she asked, “Will the project move forward, then?”
“Oh, it will.” Not a sliver of doubt marred his tone, and she forced her fingers to relax when she caught herself crushing the hem of her jacket. “That does not mean that certain…obstacles do not exist. I’m certain you understand, Dara, that progress is never something to be feared.”
“Of course not. Progress is Magnum’s aim, for the betterment of all Creators, Ballasts, and Cores.” Hadn’t she heard that line once, in an old Creator speech or something? If the words sounded familiar to him, he didn’t react. She had never seen him more at ease, and it magnified her own uneasiness.
“I wasn’t convinced you were the right candidate to be my assistant. Your work was proficient, and you had moments of innovation, but of course you would shine when compared to the very unsatisfactory performances of your competitors.” Venom filled his voice, and for a brief second it was clear to her how much he despised Javier and Ryan. Ryan was gone, presumably one more casualty of the wasteland, but Javier was not only still a part of Magnum, he had found a cozy new position with Jasmine Shah. Dara could see that it ate at Andersen, could tell from the gleam in his eyes that he would like nothing more than to take both Shah and Javier down. She kept her mouth shut.
Shaking himself from his reverie, Andersen stared her down with his glacial eyes, making it difficult for her to breathe. “However, your performance thus far has been beyond reproach. You have completed all the tasks I have assigned you, and you have exceeded your usual meticulous standards with your latest work.”
Did he really think he could beguile her? Peeking at him, she realized he did. Andersen was clever, cold, calculating, but he was also arrogant, she saw it now. He believed himself far above everyone else and was convinced that no one could outwit him. It gave her a vicious sense of satisfaction to know that, so far, she was one-upping him at his game, and he didn’t even know it. She pushed that unwise pride aside, reminding herself that it wouldn’t take much for her to slip and tumble over the edge. He wasn’t oblivious, and she had managed to keep her activities secret thus far not just by the sheer force of her will, but courtesy of the help of Letizia and the Free Thinkers. Now was not the time to start suffering from the delusion that she could have deceived him on her own.
“Thank you, sir. I’m humbled by your praise and grateful for the opportunity t
o do what I can to make your load easier, as your contributions have been so important to Magnum’s success.”
He liked that last part, she could tell. With a haughty nod, he took a sip of tea before continuing. “I believe you share my vision of a better, stronger Magnum, and I believe in your devotion to our esteemed Creator. After all, you have sacrificed personal pleasure for the sake of your Creator, as should we all. But there are those who don’t find this such an easy step, those who fail to understand the importance of giving their all to Magnum.”
Rage filled her and she wanted to punch him, wanted to smear the smug expression from his face. He reveled in probing her wound, poking and prodding, trying to make her bleed, and she couldn’t do anything about it other than sit back and take it. Keeping her face neutral, Dara told herself that he would one day pay for his reign of terror.
A smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth. “Unfortunately, I believe we have such a person in our midst. I fear that Jasmine Shah seeks to put her own petty interests ahead of those of Magnum. She wants to hinder progress and deny Magnum, the other Creators, and all Ballasts and Cores of the boon that would result from this project. She would deny us all the chance to build new domes, to develop new technologies that would enable us to increase the population and begin to reclaim what we have lost.”
Dara arranged her face to appear both horrified and appalled by the prospect. Her satisfaction at the realization that Andersen had bought her gullible act was a bitter pill. Yet as bad as it was to be forced to sit and listen to him, to pretend to be enthralled, she would not allow herself to lose sight of how much worse everything would have been had she bought into his vision. Letizia had been right to call him dangerous. He would seduce everyone with his project, convince them that they needed him, but he wouldn’t be doing it out of the goodness of his own heart. Something was in it for him, something big. Dara just needed to find out what that was.
[Contributor 02] - Infiltrator (2013) Page 10