“Rupe and Magda. Who kissed whom?”
“I wasn’t watching them. Maybe it was mutual.” Her mouth turned down at the corners. He recollected. “But she’d made the date and she was doing the preliminary footwork.”
That was better. Suddenly Trudy reared back against his arm. “Just how did you get in on this anyway?”
“Listen, babe,” he took her hand firmly, “I like that. You’re the one got me in on it. You shoved me in her room and she made me put on this fancy costume. And you ask me what I’m doing here!” He remembered again what he had to do. “Listen, I got a date downtown. I’m late now. The guys aren’t going to like it. I don’t want to break up the party but I’ve got to get back and change my clothes.”
“What guys?”
“Bill and Hank. My sidekicks, compadres, see? They’re waiting for me at the Astor. If you’ll just give me that address—”
“First you have to help me get Rudo away from here.”
“I do!”
“Yes, you do. We must get him back to Dorp’s before it’s too late.”
“Too late for what?”
She was holding his hand now. “Don’t you see it isn’t safe for him to be running around this way. It isn’t even safe to be here at Lessering’s. Any minute—”
They’d been talking so hard neither one had noticed the balcony filling up. The speech was over. Not until the shadow of Ferenz loomed above them did they look up. The big guy was actually twittering. “Trudy, isn’t it divine? I can’t conceive of such good fortune. The announcement of Rudolph’s betrothal made here, in my home.” He squinted at Johnnie. “And who is your handsome friend, dear?”
“One of Dorp’s men.” Trudy stood up. “Come on, Johnnie. Let’s us be the last to congratulate the hapless bride. See you later, Furry.”
She dragged Johnnie by the hand. He muttered, “Why do you keep saying I’m one of Dorp’s men?”
Her voice was clear if quiet. “How long would you last if I told the truth?”
That made a second warning. He took it. “Who is that Furry?”
“Ferenz Lessering. He’s giving the party.”
“He’s really one of the Lesserings?”
“Munition Lesserings? Yes. You get it?”
Johnnie shook his dumb head.
“That’s why Rupe can live here. Rupe’s not a queer. And that’s why Ferenz has been putting up the money for Otto and Dorp. The more little wars the merrier. Keeps the wheels of industry rolling.”
He still didn’t get it.
“You don’t think the Rudamians will put up with Rudolph long without having a revolution, do you? But we must get him out of here. It wouldn’t be cricket to let him be assassinated before he was ever crowned.”
“You think there’s danger of that here?” His eyes popped.
“This house is full of Rudamians and anti-Rudamians. The only place in New York where we know he’ll be safe is at Dorp’s. We must take him back there.”
“How?”
The music was playing a fairly decent swing. “Might as well dance across,” Johnnie said. He grabbed her before she could refuse. She could trundle all right. “How?” he repeated.
“I don’t know,” she confessed.
He didn’t bother his head about it now. Not dancing with this little honey. He didn’t even think of Bill and Hank waiting outside the Astor. He didn’t bother to think until somebody rammed a fist in his back.
“You cannot do that,” Dorp stormed.
“Can’t do what?” Johnnie had his own fist ready.
“You cannot dance with Her Highness.”
“Who says I can’t?”
“Wait.” Trudy stopped dancing. “I asked him to dance me over to Rudolph, Dorp. We want to get Rudo out of here. Johnnie’s going to help.”
“How?” Dorp shrugged.
“I could throw him over my shoulder.” Johnnie was practical. “He couldn’t weigh more than a Garand.”
“He could bite,” Trudy warned. “Have you talked to him, Dorp?”
“He would not even listen. He is having a good time. Cock of the walk. Royal Highness this, Royal Highness that. He must not miss the plane.”
“That doesn’t go till morning,” Johnnie reminded.
“But there is much business to attend to.”
“And if he gets on the Clipper drunk, he’ll talk too much,” Trudy said. “We’ve simply got to think of something.”
They all thought. Johnnie suggested, “Why couldn’t I take him with me to the Astor?”
“No,” Trudy said.
“You aren’t supposed to think,” Dorp told him. “We do the thinking.”
“You better think fast if you want my help,” Johnnie began.
“Quiet!” Trudy commanded. She thought some more.
“I can think better when I’m dancing,” Johnnie grinned. “How’s about it?”
“Quiet!” Dorp commanded.
Johnnie didn’t wander away. He walked off. Now was the time for action. He walked right across the ballroom to Magda. She didn’t appear to be having a very good time. Everyone was crowding up to the goon. No one even noticed she was a gorgeous number.
Johnnie announced, “I’m back.”
She turned, startled. When she saw who it was her eyes greened. “Where have you been?”
“Dancing. You want to dance?” He held open his arms. Either she’d been away from Trudamia too long to remember the rules or it was that commoner father. Or maybe if a fellow opened his arms she knew only one way to move. She closed in. He danced her out on the floor. The Highness didn’t notice. Trudy could dance but with Magda under your chin you didn’t care what it was she called dancing.
Johnnie said, “I wish we were somewhere good. This band stinks. Why don’t we get out of here?”
She flung those long black lashes up at him. “I wish we could. But Rudolph—”
“We could take him along.”
Her eyes narrowed and her mouth curved. “Then what would we do with him?”
Johnnie swallowed hard. He held on. This wasn’t what he’d bargained for. This was worse than a bottle of champagne. “Anything you say, honey,” he murmured to her cape jasmine hair. “But anything.”
She pushed him away without any warning. “Who are you?”
He was getting tired of playing invisible man. He didn’t get a chance to answer.
Her eyes burned. “You can’t dance with me.”
“What’s the matter, don’t you like it?”
For just a second she half-smiled. “Some other time.” Then she was back to being queen again. “Of all the impudence. Royalty does not dance with commoners.”
He said, “Listen. It’s none of my business but I think you ought to gather up Rudo and get him out of here.”
Her “Why?” was sharp. Her eyes slitted around the room.
“Trudy didn’t like that scene a bit she barged into. You and Rupe on the griddle. If you don’t get Rudo away where you can have him alone, there might be some sabotage. You aren’t married to him yet.”
She dug her fingers into his arm. “What did she say?”
“She doesn’t think you’re good enough for Rudolph. Your old man—”
She was furious. He lifted her claws off his sleeve. “That little—that little prig trying to wench my game. Just because her father was a Dallas millionaire.”
“Did you say Dallas?” Johnnie cried joyfully.
“I said Dallas.”
“Then he was a commoner, too!”
“No, he wasn’t. He was a prince. But he went to work in Texas—oil. No better than a commoner.” She set her teeth. “Trudy wants Ruprecht but she won’t get him. He wouldn’t give a phony nickel for her.”
“You can’t have both the boys,” he told her.
She tossed her head. “Tell Theo to get the cars ready. We’re leaving.”
“Rudolph too?”
“Rudolph too.”
“How?”
Johnnie returned to the thinkers, still thinking in the same old spot. “Tell Theo to get the cars,” he ordered. “We’re all leaving.”
The two of them raised incredulous round eyes. “How?” they Indianed.
Johnnie spoke haughtily. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” He didn’t remain with them. He sidled back to the buffet, stuffed his pocket with salted nuts, lifted a last chocolate éclair and finished it in three bites. He was well pleased with himself. All this how business. All you had to do was use your head. Nothing to it.
It didn’t do any good to try to get in the car with Trudy. The setup was as it had been earlier. Even to the cordon trudging off on foot. Johnnie had the same uncomfortable jump seat.
Rudolph was doing the talking just as he had on the trip over but he was more jittery now. “How do you know there were F. B. I. agents at Ferenz’s party, Magda? How do you know they were there? How do you know they aren’t following us?”
Magda had known how to use her head too. Nothing to it. Johnnie grinned and lit a smoke. He blew it toward Janssen, sitting there stiff as a ramrod.
Magda said, “Never mind how I know it. It’s my business to know. And they aren’t following. We didn’t parade out of the house, did we? We melted away quietly. Even if they were following, the boys have orders to give them the slip.”
“How do you know they won’t come to Dorp’s house when they see I’m missing? How do you know they won’t follow us there?”
She didn’t say, “Stupid,” but her voice implied it. “Dorp is a respectable professor of languages at Columbia University. No one is going to break into his house. And if they did, what would they find? A respectable house. That downstairs would fool anyone. It’s hideous.”
“Suppose they came upstairs? Suppose they—”
Janssen snarled, “Make him stop it, Magda. He’s getting me nervous. I can’t afford to be caught by the F. B. I. It’s all right for the rest of you but I can’t afford it. You know I was enrolled in the party before I got away. I couldn’t help it but I was. They’d find it out and shoot me. How do you know we’re safe, Magda?”
Magda said wearily, “For God’s sake, Louie, don’t I have enough on my hands without you going to pieces? If you and Rudo can’t take my word for it, I’ll get out of this car right now and you can stew in your own juices. Now shut up both of you. You make me excruciatingly ill.”
“But Magda,” Rudolph whimpered.
“Light me one of your cigarettes, Johnnie,” Magda interrupted. “Or are your hands shaky?”
“I’m not afraid of man nor beast,” Johnnie drawled. “Or the F. B. I.” He almost swallowed that one with a gulp. If the F. B. I. really were on the trail, how was Private Johnnie Brown going to explain wearing this monkey suit instead of his G. I. uniform? He passed the cigarette to her. There wasn’t any F. B. I. That was her contribution to spiriting Rudolph back to Dorp’s.
Rudolph stammered, “I wish I were back in Mexico.”
Magda didn’t say, “So do I.” She merely began to hum, “Get Out of Town.”
The car pulled up in the quiet side street, stopped short.
Rudolph quavered, “Where are we? What is it?”
“Dorp’s,” Magda said.
“Where is Dorp? Where’s Trudy?”
“They’re already here. We came roundabout purposely. I told you that.”
Rudolph backed into the corner. “How do you know they’re—”
She drew a breath. “I say they’re here. They’re here. Now get out.”
“Before I beat your brain in,” Johnnie murmured to himself. He helped her to the street. She rushed ahead up the stairs. He stuck with her. The rest pattered after them. It wasn’t Theo who opened the door; it was Trudy, sparkling white in the dim hallway.
“Hiya, Babe,” Johnnie greeted her.
“Go right on up.” Her mouth was grim. “I’m waiting for the squad to get here.”
Johnnie followed Magda. Dorp was pacing up and down, his short arms behind his back, his fat face red as the velvet throne. Theo was standing in the corner chewing his fingernails. Dorp waited only until the five, trailed by a wheezing Ottomkopf, were inside. Then he exploded. “Theo has lost the papers!”
Ottomkopf fell back. “It cannot be!” He was hoarse. His eyes were like broken glass now.
“Do any of you have them?”
Johnnie shook his head along with the rest of them.
Rudolph asked, “What papers?”
“Your passports. Your identifications.”
“But I have them,” Rudolph began.
“Idiot!” Dorp raged. “You have the ones to take you from this country to Europe. You do not yet have the ones to take you from Switzerland to Rudamia. The true ones.” His eyes opened hopefully. “Or do you?”
“I have never seen them and you know it.” He flounced to the throne chair and extracted from his pocket the long cigarette holder. “You know very well I haven’t seen them. You told me you’d give them to me when I boarded the Clipper.”
“Theo has lost them,” Dorp repeated with menace. “I keep them on me until we go to the party. Then I think it is not wise I carry them there. They do not look so well in the full dress suit. Perhaps Ferenz will grow snoopy. He is so afraid we do something outside the law, something at which we get caught. He would not like doctored papers such as Rudolph must use to enter his country. So the last thing in the car I pass them to Theo. He has big military pockets to keep them safe. And Ferenz does not like Theo.” His little eyes narrowed. “Because Theo does not like Ferenz.” He shrugged. “Does he put them into the inner pocket as anyone with the brains of a peahen would do?”
Johnnie had the papers! He realized it suddenly. This didn’t seem exactly the time to disclose that fact. Besides Trudy had been insistent he keep mum. More than insistent. She’d threatened him. He kept his mouth shut. Despite everything he liked Trudy a lot better than this passel of thieves. He didn’t like Dorp at all.
“No!” roared Dorp. He slapped his fat thigh and winced. “He puts them in his coat pocket where when he leans over to make the bow they fall out.”
“They couldn’t have fallen out,” Theo blubbered. “I told you, Herr Dorp. The envelope went way deep.”
“Someone picked his pocket,” Magda said. “That’s obvious. In the crush while Rudolph was speaking. Who was near you?”
“I don’t know.” There were tears in Theo’s eyes. One hung from the tip of his nose. “I didn’t notice. I was listening like Herr Dorp told me to.” He wailed, “I didn’t want to carry the papers. I didn’t want to be responsible.”
“Enough,” Ottomkopf commanded. “You will turn in your uniform, be confined to quarters.” He looked about the room. The rear guard hadn’t caught up yet. The only uniforms were Janssen attending Rudolph, and Johnnie following Magda. “Who will escort him?”
“I know the way,” Theo sniffled. “I’ll go.” He turned at the door. “If you’d only told me the inside pocket, Herr Dorp. But you said pocket.”
“Go. Go on!” Dorp waggled five thick fingers. Theo went.
“It’s Ferenz.” Magda scowled. “Of course it’s Ferenz in back of it.”
“But why?” Dorp shook his head. “He is paying good money for Rudolph to go. And he knows nothing of the false papers.”
“When you’ve known Ferenz as long as we have, Herr Dorp, you won’t ask why. You’ll know that everything he does is to make trouble and sell some more of his nasty bombs and stuff.”
Rudolph almost fell off the throne. “You think Ferenz doesn’t want me to return to Rudamia? Because I won’t go if that’s the way he feels. After all I owe him a hundred and fifty thousand rudls. Besides he might be planning another revolution.”
“He might be,” Magda admitted. She sat on the throne steps and put her chin in her hand. She surveyed the ruby lovingly. “But in that case w
hy wouldn’t he let you go ahead? A revolution’s no good without a king to dethrone. And he promised me I could be queen. He even got the betrothal ring out of hock.”
“There are no revolutions in the new Rudamia,” Dorp swelled up.
“There can be,” Ottomkopf countered.
Dorp stuck out his chin. “Saupreussen!”
Ottomkopf turned the colors of roquefort. He couldn’t get his tongue to work.
Magda said, “I wish you’d be quiet. I’m trying to think how we can get Ferenz over here now.” She stood up. “I can’t think in these clothes. I’m going to get comfortable. Don’t start any more name-calling until I return. Save that for Furry.”
Rudolph said, “I want to take a bath.”
“Now?” Magda turned on him violently.
“I don’t know when I’ve had a bath,” he said dreamily. “I’ve heard so much about American hot water. You and Trudy and Rupe were always bragging about it. I want a bath now.”
“Don’t drown,” Magda said with set teeth.
“Janssen will show you your room,” Dorp said.
Magda added, “Get back before Ferenz arrives.” She sailed out. Johnnie was in her wake. She didn’t turn around until she was on the floor above, outside her door. “You can’t come in. I’m going to change.”
“I want to change too,” he said. “I don’t like these clothes.”
“Why not? On you it looks good.”
“I want my own uniform.”
“A uniform’s a uniform.” She slammed the door behind them.
It was not. This snake thing wasn’t anywhere near as good as old G.I. He didn’t mention that. Not with two warnings not to talk too much. He was looking around. His suit wasn’t here yet. He said, “I guess Trudy hasn’t brought my things up yet.”
“For heaven’s sake why should she bring them to my room?” Magda demanded.
“Well, she put me in here to dress, didn’t she?”
“God knows why.” Magda had the white skirts half over her head before he could yell, “Wait a minute!”
“If you’re still squeamish,” she retorted, “get out.”
He started for the door.
“No, don’t.” It was a command. “I want to talk. I’ve got to talk.”
He did the next best thing. He turned his back and sat down. He said sadly, “My uniform ought to be back by now.”
Johnnie Page 6