“Last night,” Johnnie yawned.
“And I wouldn’t have had Lefty in a drafty areaway all night if I was in on it.”
Dorp said briskly, “This is no good. We take them to headquarters. It is too bad for Private Brown’s curiosity”—he shrugged—“but we can waste no more time.”
“Wait a minute,” Lefty demanded. “What about that murder?” He squinted up at Johnnie. “If you want Mike to solve it, you’d better spill.”
“Oh that,” Johnnie said. “First get their guns.” He didn’t want the murderer taking a pot shot at him before he named names.
“Pass ʼem out,” Lefty barked. “Anybody got identifying tags to mark them with?”
Jorge announced, “Always prepared.” He fished in his pocket.
“The Marines!” Johnnie cried joyously.
Magda’s was first. Janssen had his in the pocket where his hand had rested in the car. Hours ago. Yesterday. From Ottomkopf, Mike produced a nasty Luger.
“I have none,” Rudolph said sweetly.
“Nor have I,” Ferenz growled. “I am not in the habit of carrying a gun.”
“You too, Trudy,” Johnnie urged.
“All right, Benedict Arnold.” She handed it down to the F. B. I. man.
“Now listen,” Johnnie began. This was the difficult part. “I have the murderer’s gun.” He pulled it from his pocket. “I found it where he’d hidden it. In Rudolph’s bed.”
“Trudy’s bed,” Rudolph prompted.
“It’s got my fingerprints all over it. So I found it.” He defied them. “Even if you can’t find the murderer’s fingerprints underneath you can prove I didn’t do it.”
Ferenz spoke up. “I knew all along this man was dangerous. Arrest him, officer.”
“You can prove it easy,” Johnnie persisted. “You know how?”
“Yeah,” Lefty nodded. “The paraffin test for hands.”
Everyone turned the palms of his hands up. Everyone automatically examined those of his neighbor.
“I shall protest to my government-in-exile,” Rudolph proclaimed.
Johnnie cleared his throat preparatory to an important speech. “The murderer,” he said solemnly, “is Ferenz Lessering.”
Seven
“WHAT!” FERENZ ROCKED TO his toes. He was wrapped in disdain. “You are being absolutely absurd. I shall speak to my friend J. Edgar Hoover about this. I shall speak to Attorney-General Biddle. I shall speak—”
“Speak to everybody,” Johnnie cried blissfully. “Speak to Mayor La Guardia and Mr. Hopkins and Eleanor Roosevelt and Senator Knox and General MacArthur and my top sergeant—” He grinned. “They won’t speak to you.”
“Ferenz Lessering.” Lefty was dubious.
“I suspected him all along,” Johnnie said sagely. “Any guy that has as much food stored away as Mr. Lessering couldn’t be any good. He smuggles coffee too. He said so tonight.”
“I said no such thing!” Ferenz denied. “I am a coffee importer.”
“Tell that to the Marines,” Johnnie advised. “But tonight when he came sneaking up to Rudolph’s room to get the gun he’d hidden in the bed, then I knew.”
“This man is insane!” Ferenz quivered. “I don’t believe he’s a soldier at all.”
“I am too!” Johnnie retorted. “I’ll show you my dog tags.” He turned to Trudy. “Give me my dog tags.”
Wordless she dug them out of her pocket.
He dangled them aloft. “See?” Everyone saw. “He thought he was killing Rudolph but he killed Theo by mistake—”
“Why would I kill Rudolph?” Ferenz wept. “Already he has cost me a small fortune.”
Dorp patted his fat vest. “I believe Johnnie is right. I eliminate. Who will gain by Rudolph’s death? Not I. Not even in my role as the loyal German-Rudamian who trains the young patriots. If Rudolph dies there are no patriots to train. Herr Ottomkopf? If he wishes Rudolph to die it is very simple to kill him in Mexico. A bit of poison in the chile. Who could taste it?” He sputtered. “Who could taste anything in that. Ruprecht? Where is Ruprecht?”
“He’s icing the champagne,” Trudy said.
“Very well. He does not wish to be king.”
“So he says,” Ferenz put in.
“He does not. I know. Did not Herr Ottomkopf and myself try to persuade him to be king when first you broached the idea of kingmaking? Rudolph would be persuaded to abdicate.”
“I would not!” Rudolph squealed.
“For good pay, yes, you would. Ruprecht would make the better king, says Herr Ottomkopf. But Ruprecht refuses. Hence he would not kill his brother to receive what he could have without the trouble. Magda wishes to be queen. She prefers Ruprecht but a bird in the hand is better eating.” Dorp’s voice perked up. “Who is it insists Rudolph come here to fly to South America? Who? It is Ferenz Lessering. It is his price for redeeming the Rudamian ruby for Magda. The ruby which Herr Ottomkopf has pawned. Only if she insists that Rudolph come here to sign the marriage papers. Why would Ferenz Lessering wish Rudolph here but to send him to his death? Are there not good airports in Mexico City?”
“I’ll sue you for every cent you own!” Lessering screamed.
“You deny it? Ah, but there is a reason behind it. You are a man of high finance, Mr. Lessering. You will spend money to make money, yes? But you will not throw it away. Already you have spent more than you can afford on Rudolph. And Rudolph is such poor pay, always. But if Rudolph is dead, Ruprecht will be king. You and Ruprecht are such good friends, no? For months you have been together making these plans—”
“I demand the best lawyers,” Lessering bellowed. “Let me out of here. My lawyers will answer you.”
“You’re going out, Bub. Don’t worry about that.” Joe stepped up to him.
“Feet first if you don’t pipe down,” Jorge added.
He took one look at them, huffed, “If you refuse to allow me to pass, I shall go telephone my lawyers. At once.” He started up the stairs two at a time. Johnnie didn’t hesitate. He ducked the outswung arm, caught Ferenz by a thumb and swung him up over his shoulder.
“Look!” he crowed. “Commando stuff.”
He started with him back down the stairs. Ferenz was a cream puff. But two hundred ninety pounds of cream puff was just that. And Ferenz wasn’t cooperating. He wiggled. Johnnie lost his footing halfway down. He fell against the banisters. They couldn’t take it. He released Ferenz as they hurtled through space. From all the screaming and shouting, he thought he must have broken his head right open. He hadn’t. Ferenz had cushioned his fall. It was like landing on a sofa. “Give a guy air,” he complained to the crowd.
Ferenz wasn’t hurt much either. He wouldn’t have been yowling so loud if he had been. Yowling, “Get off of me, you lout. I’ll see my lawyers.”
Johnnie crawled off. And his eyes opened wide. “Theo!” he breathed. That was Theo propped in the corner, in the darkest far corner.
Rudolph whispered, “I thought it was a guard. I told him to watch my bags.”
“It is Theo Kraken. Dead,” said a hoarse voice.
Everyone looked up and around at the tall man with the scar splitting his face. Hans was peering over the huddle of heads.
“Did you say Kraken?” Rudolph shivered.
He nodded solemnly. “Yes. The young brother of Ipomio Kraken. I did not know he was in New York. It was he who drew the short straw—my cousin told me this—at the last meeting of the Terrorists before the war. It was he who was to kill His Highness, Prince Rudolph.”
Janssen’s voice shook. “And it was Theo who gave me the bomb.”
Rudolph spoke up brightly. “Then I had a right to kill him. It was in self-defense.”
Johnnie got to his feet. “Say that slow, brother.”
“You killed him?” Lefty yelled.
“In self-defense,” said Rudolph proudly. “I came out of my bath as he was trying to escape through the window. I thought it was my suitcase he carried. With all that money
in it.” He beamed. “Instead he was trying to escape before he was arrested for killing me. I killed him in self-defense.”
“I shall get you the best lawyers, dear,” Ferenz spat.
Rudolph turned in accusation on Dorp. “You told me you’d get rid of the body.”
Dorp sighed. “The boys promised they would. They must have been afraid they’d miss the last train home. They are not well disciplined, I fear.” He winked at Joe and Jorge. “I thought it best we hide the body for a little until more important things were taken care of.”
“More important things?” Lefty scratched his head hard.
“Yes.” Dorp’s mouth set. “Yes. More important that we apprehend Herr Ottomkopf. The villain!”
“You speak of me?” Ottomkopf spluttered.
“Yes,” said Dorp. “There he is, Joe, Jorge. The man who smuggled the Rudamian jewels into this country. Smuggled them encased in particularly evil-smelling cheese. You remember the cheese? This is the slippery customer whom I could catch only by engaging in this plan to make Rudolph king. Only for that would Herr Ottomkopf return to pay for his misdemeanor.” He pointed a pudgy finger at Ottomkopf. “Do not deny it. The jewels smell even yet of cheese.”
Ottomkopf’s eyes were hollow. “You do this to me, Herr Dorp? You who were of my own regiment thirty years ago. You betray me now—”
Dorp struck his chest. “A Rudamian never forgets!” His little eyes narrowed. “A fine career I might have had in the Rudamian army. Already a young man, I was a lieutenant. What did you do?”
Ottomkopf groaned.
“For a paltry one hundred and fifty rudls—which I won honestly from you in playing poker—for a miserable one hundred and fifty rudls which you did not wish to pay me, you had me cashiered. In disgrace I come to America. But I vow, ‘Some day he will pay the one hundred and fifty rudls. Through the nose!’” He pointed. “Take him, Joe, Jorge. I, Professor Dorp, have captured for you a criminal.”
Lefty sighed. “Well, we’ve bagged a smuggler and a murderer—”
“Self-defense,” repeated Rudolph.
“—and an O. P. A. violator.”
Ferenz groaned into his hands.
“Think we can call it a day?”
“One moment, if you please.” Hans bowed. “Before you leave for the police station, Your Highness, you will please to pay me for the sauerbraten you ate and the beer you drank.” He drew himself high and thundered, “And which you sneaked out without paying for while I was answering the telephone.”
“Pay him, Ferenz.” Rudolph waved a languid hand.
Ferenz raised his head from his hands. “Pay him yourself,” he said crossly. “For you,” his lip drooped, “I will have to starve myself. The Board of Rations does not understand my needs.” His voice zoomed, “Pay him yourself with my sixty-five thousand dollars.”
“You didn’t give me sixty-five thousand dollars,” Rudolph retorted. “It was only seven thousand.”
“Dorp!” Ferenz bellowed.
Dorp said, “It wasn’t sixty-five thousand, Mr. Lessering. It was only ten thousand. Don’t you remember that? Three thousand of it Herr Ottomkopf and I needed for expenses. Rudolph’s bills in Mexico. The escape. Seven thousand we have given to Rudoph.”
“It was sixty-five thousand,” Ferenz insisted. “First twenty-five thousand. Then twenty-five more. And another fifteen. Add it up. Sixty-five thousand I turned over to Ruprecht to finance this flight—” He broke off. Silence was utter. His voice bubbled through. “Where is Ruprecht?” His voice filled the house. “Where is Ruprecht?”
Trudy’s smile was apologetic. “I think by now he’s on his way to Mexico.”
“Mexico!” Ferenz faltered.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know until tonight, Furry, or I wouldn’t have let him. He’s wanted Rudolph’s Mexican place for a long time. To make sort of a rich man’s dude ranch out of it. That’s why he thought up the idea of getting you to make Rudolph king. It was the only way he could borrow enough money from you—it’s only a loan, really—and oust Rudolph at the same time. You’ll get your money all paid back. He’s going to make pots of it.” Her voice was smaller. “And even if he doesn’t it’s only three years till he’s thirty and he’ll have Uncle Isaiah’s estate. You don’t have to worry one bit, Ferenz. He’ll pay you back.”
“Oh God,” Ferenz groaned.
Johnnie’d had a funny feeling for some time that Rupe wasn’t coming back with that champagne. He’d been right. He only hoped the bottles were left behind. He was pretty sure they weren’t.
The law was forming ranks now. Johnnie said, “Before we go I’d like to ask Herr Dorp one thing. Why was he talking German on the subway?”
“I don’t talk German,” Dorp said. “That was Rudamian.”
2.
Broadway looked about the same as it had twenty-four hours ago. Saturday night didn’t seem to make much difference to New Yorkers. Every night was Saturday here. He, Johnnie, didn’t think he’d care much about that kind of a town. You wouldn’t know when it was time to celebrate.
He stood on the steps outside the front door of the Astor, right where Bill and Hank had told him to meet them. They ought to be turning up pretty soon now.
He hadn’t had a lick of sleep but he didn’t feel very tired. He’d seen New York and how. From the Battery to the Bronx. He hadn’t missed a trick. Including the inside of Centre Street. He’d sure have a letter to write home to the folks this week. Take him a week to write it. They’d get a big kick out of all the sights he’d seen today. He’d been lucky that Trudy wasn’t tied up. It was more fun sightseeing with a cute little blonde babe under your arm. Lucky too, that she’d wanted to make up to him for missing everything last night. She knew the town. Without her he’d never have thought of half the places to go.
He did feel kind of funny having her pay everything. But it was Ruprecht’s party, she said. Ruprecht had given Trudy the folding dough to show Johnnie everything, including the best food he’d ever put down. Without Johnnie helping out last night, Ruprecht might not have got away in time. He might have been in the soup with the rest of them. Not that Rupe had done anything wrong. He’d simply made a suggestion and Ferenz had taken care of the rest. Ferenz would get his money back.
There was only one big disappointment left in Johnnie. None of them turned out to be Nazis. He would have liked to have captured a band of Nazis. Well, he’d have to take care of that when he got over seas. If they’d only hurry and ship him before the big push was over.
He looked up and down the street. No sign of Hank and Bill. He hoped they hadn’t forgotten him. Then he turned his nose up to the sky. Stars up there. Not great big shiny ones like in Texas but stars just the same. Somewhere up above there was a plane. Trudy would be on her way to Mexico by now. She wasn’t letting Rupe escape her. The first thing she was going to do there was send a bottle of champagne to Johnnie.
Couple of soldiers crossing Broadway now that might be Bill and Hank. They were Bill and Hank. Johnnie hunched back his shoulders. They’d be difficult at first but he could out-talk them. He had before. He came down the steps to meet them.
“Hi ya, fellows,” he greeted.
They were relieved to see him. After that they were mad.
“Well,” said Bill. “The missing link, I presume?”
“When did you think you were supposed to meet us?” Hank demanded. “Any night at nine? You think the Army gave us a pass to hang out in front of the Astor for the duration?”
“Cut the two-bit flap,” Johnnie advised happily. “I’m here, ain’t I?”
Bill’s chin went up. “So you got lost again, did you?”
“I did not,” Johnnie denied hotly. “I knew where I was all the time.”
“Where were you?” Hank wanted to know. “Where have you been?”
Johnnie took a deep breath. “I’ve been everywhere. To the Bronx zoo and the Aquarium and Grant’s Tomb, that isn’t much; and a conducted tour of Radio Cit
y and rowing on the lake in Central Park; and Park Avenue, that’s nothing but apartments, and Harlem—” He stopped for another breath.
“Alone?” Bill’s face was unbelieving.
It would be nice to say, “Yes, alone,” and get Bill over the idea that he, Johnnie, was a hick. But that wouldn’t be fair to Trudy. He shook his head. “No, not alone.”
“Who went with you?”
“A girl.”
Bill and Hank gave him the wolf gleam. “Where is she?”
He said happily, “She left for Mexico. So sorry, chums.”
It was all going well. But disappointment couldn’t silence these lugs long enough. Bill was too smart. Bill asked carefully now, “Where were you last night?”
Johnnie said with vagueness, “I went for a ride on the subway.” He wouldn’t ever tell them about last night. They would never trust him out of their sight again. They would think he was crazy. They wouldn’t understand it had all been strictly accidental.
“In the subway,” said Bill. “And then?”
Johnnie talked fast. “I had some champagne, real champagne.” He’d better get these guys started before they got too nosey. The money he hadn’t touched was burning a hole in his sock. “I’ll tell you what, let’s go buy a bottle of champagne right now. My treat.” He grabbed an arm on either side of him. “And then let’s go to the Stage Door Canteen. Maybe we’ll see Sonja Henie.”
He didn’t want to waste tonight too. When a guy had a weekend pass, he expected a little fun.
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