by Alexa Davis
“My mother wanted to make sure we were taken care of, so she packed us a lunch,” I half-lied. She had packed the picnic, but only after I promised her that I’d make a concerted effort to make Rachel fall in love with me, so she could get grandchildren out of her efforts.
We sat in the shade of an ancient cypress and watched water trickle down the creek that ran through the center of the park. The level of the water was already dropping with the heat of summer, combined with a lack of rain in the past month. Rachel set her lunch aside and picked through the pebbles at the edge until she found something that caught her fancy.
“Glass pebbles,” she explained as she showed me the little clear bits of glass in her hand. “When I was small, my mother told me they were fairy glass. I guess I just think they’re pretty now.” She pocketed the pebbles and picked at her food while I watched her.
She was so little, but her natural grit made me feel a little small myself. She made me try harder and work to be better, just by being herself. I felt more a man with her in spite of our lack of a physical relationship, than I’d ever felt with women like Sara. Rachel noticed me watching her and blushed.
“Sorry, darlin’, not trying to stare. You are just so damn pretty sometimes I forget myself,” I apologized. I put away the dishes from lunch and busied myself carrying things back to the truck to give her some space. It had been a Godawful couple of weeks, wanting her so bad, but promising not to push. All I wanted to do was scoop her up in my arms and test out that new bed of hers.
I turned around to tell her I was ready for us to head back to the ranch and she caught me by surprise, lifting up on her toes and reaching her arms up around my neck. As I leaned in to her, she kissed me, a quick peck on the lips that a child would give a favorite uncle. I pulled away and frowned at her.
“Tell me you’ve got something better than that!” I exclaimed with feigned exasperation. With a gasp, she flinched, then giggled. I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist and tried again.
This time, I was ready for her and slid my hand around the back of her neck, holding her tight against me as I opened my mouth to her. She explored me with her tongue, timidly at first, then as the heat took over, she moaned into my mouth and nipped at my lower lip, pulling it into her mouth and grazing my tongue with her teeth.
I turned us around and braced her back against the door of the Chevy as she ground her hips on mine. I kissed her until my head felt light and I was afraid that if I didn’t stop soon, there’d be no stopping until I had her naked in the backseat.
“You know I want you,” she panted as she trembled in my arms. “But, I think I need to stop now or I’m going to do something that could get me arrested.” She laid her head on my shoulder and I held her, braced by the truck, until we were both breathing normally and my jeans weren’t quite so tight.
“Well,” I finally replied when I could trust my voice. “It’s good to know that you’re willing to adapt those boundaries of yours.” She giggled into my neck and my stomach clenched with need. “Because I am getting damn tired of sleepless nights and cold showers, missy.” I set her down gently. I fished my keys out of my pocket and opened the door for her. She held out a hand to me, and I helped her up into the cab, pretty damn pleased with myself when she slid over to the middle of the seat and buckled up.
I hopped in and fired up the engine. Rachel cuddled up against me like she had the very first time she rode with me. I draped my arm around her and relaxed in the clean, floral scent of her hair as we drove home.
“I think we should split up when we get back,” Rachel mused after a few minutes. Immediate irritation rose like bile in my throat. “Now, don’t get the wrong idea,” she cautioned when she felt my shoulder tighten. “I just think we need to get our work done, before we go and spoil things for your mother by disappearing.” She slapped me on the leg. “I am not a ‘wham bam thank you ma’am’ kinda girl there, cowboy. You best be giving me some real time and putting thought into it when I let you into my bed.” She glanced up at me and I saw the light dancing in her eyes.
“Well, I’ve waited this long, right? What’s a few more hours?” I asked contemplatively.
“Right,” she agreed. “Or a few days, if that’s what it takes,” she added, preemptively flinching from my displeasure. “I’m okay with kissing for a little bit first; aren’t you?” I had to admit that if that was what it took to make her understand I wanted more than just her body, I was happy to oblige. I wasn’t sure for how long I could handle being so close and still so far away, but we were finally on track and I wasn’t about to be the one to derail us now.
Chapter Nine
Rachel
I was so excited that my hand was healing well enough to downgrade my treatment from a cast to a simple cloth brace before the party. It was bad enough to have to wear the little, wrap-around brace, but at least it was skin-colored and didn’t stand out quite like the lime green cast material had.
The day before the party, everything was already set. Hannah was a great organizer and had even thought to use living plants instead of floral arrangements to decorate with. She said some would go to the people that helped put the party together, like the caterer and Christie, Hannah’s designer friend, and some would be planted in the garden to help preserve the good memories.
I had been entrusted with grooming Kaiser, along with the vaccinations and non-emergency treatment of the horses and sheep. I had to beg out of shaving them, due to the decreased mobility on my hand and wrist, but I loved giving the lambs their check-ups and having an excuse to relax in the field while they grazed.
That’s where Hannah came looking for me the day before the party. Her shadow fell over me as I sat in the grass, cuddling with a lamb.
I looked up and felt a quick stab of guilt being caught playing when I should be working. Instead of asking what I was doing or telling me to go find work to do, she sat down next to me and crawled her fingers into the thick, curly wool of the lamb. She didn’t say anything to me so I stayed silent, as well, and we both enjoyed the bright, hot summer day sitting in the cool grass. After a few blissful minutes of silence, she finally explained to me what she was there for.
“It occurred to me as I was cleaning up after breakfast today that I never see you in anything but work shirts and jeans. I was thinking perhaps now was a good time for us to go out and have a girls’ day. How would you like to join my assistant Patricia and me and go into town to get manicures and new clothes for the party?” The rancher brushed some dry grass off her legs as if it offended her. I looked down at my own clothes, covered in random stains, some more barnyard than others.
“You know what? I would love to tag along. I haven’t seen Patricia in a couple of weeks, since the season’s lambing had begun,” I replied. I’d been measuring blood glucose levels of the sweet, little newborns for going on ten days straight. I’d even foregone a visit to Austin with Tracy and Freddie, who I was missing horribly. Of course, knowing they were coming tomorrow had made me feel better, and Tracy had promised to bring me a dress or two to choose from. Knowing her tastes, I had been worried that she might force me to be braver than I preferred.
“Fabulous!” Hannah exclaimed. She jumped up and held out a hand to me. I gently lifted the dozing lamb off my legs and watched her stagger off toward her mother. I accepted the assistance and pulled myself to my feet. I gasped out loud and laughed uncomfortably when my feet were shot through with pins and needles from sitting cross-legged for so long. Hannah held me up for an extra moment to make sure I would stay standing before she let go.
“Well, that’s not embarrassing or anything,” I chuckled as I hobbled toward the pasture gate with her.
We split up at the gate, and I hurried to my new quarters. The furniture and decorations that Daniel and I had picked out made me smile every time I waked in the door. He’d added quite a few things, including a set of dishes I’d been looking at when I thought he wasn’t watching, and a part
icular painting of a landscape, much like the one I saw every morning when we went for our sunrise rides. Despite the fact that I was only here for a few more weeks, he’d taken the time and trouble to make the cabin feel like home. We’d even picked out a nice furniture set for the second bedroom, in case I had visitors.
I knew in the back of my mind that it was just something that had to be done, and he hadn’t done all that work just for me, but I pretended it was when I was alone because I wanted to be important to him. He’d been a gentleman every minute that we spent together, even after I attacked him and almost kissed his face off. Still, I knew that he needed more than stolen kisses in the woods at sunrise. I just didn’t know how to let him see me without my clothes, scars and all.
I quickly showered off the smell of stables and changed into a clean shirt and jeans. For only the second time since I’d arrived, I was nervous that what I had to wear wasn’t going to make the cut. I wrapped my long, wet hair into a bun at the nape of my neck and grabbed my purse. Belatedly, I thought of Skipper. I didn’t know how long I was going to be gone, and I ran outside to call him in to be kenneled. Henry and his mastiff, Honcho, were out on the veranda. Skipper was lying next to Honcho, his tongue lolling out as he panted and kicked his paws in his doggy dream.
“Mr. Hargrave, do you mind if Skipper stays out with you while I’m gone?” I asked. I was still a little nervous around the Hargrave patriarch, but he seemed to genuinely like Skipper, and sometimes, even me.
“No problem, Rachel,” he ground out in his ultra-deep bass. “When you get back, we need to talk. Texas Tango is arriving the third, and we’re debuting him and his owner, Miss. Vale, at the Fourth of July party.”
I nodded. “What do you need from me?” I asked. “I can use my right hand much better now. Do you want me to add Texas Tango to my roster?” I offered. Mr. Hargrave chuckled and Honcho lifted his big, square head sleepily at the sound.
“Nothing that difficult. I just want you to make a list of things that Miss Vale might need. We’re not used to having honest to God celebrities here. The missus is going half-crazy trying to get everything perfect.” He sighed. “Why do you think me and the boys here are hiding outside? Damn woman can’t stop picking at imaginary messes everywhere,” he griped.
I jumped as a slender, feminine hand reached out and swatted his shoulder. I stared wide-eyed at Henry as he laughed. “I knew she heard me. The window was open,” he explained, jerking his thumb over his shoulder.
I laughed in surprise and with the pure delight of seeing a rare moment between these reserved, stoic ranchers. It was the first time I’d seen Henry Hargrave be anything but the ranch boss, stern father, or community pillar. I couldn’t help but continue to watch them as Hannah leaned in to quickly and tenderly kiss her husband. Their open affection made me feel like anything was possible and romance could last beyond the skin hunger of two people caught in the riptide, clinging to each other for whatever connection they could make. This was love beyond first blush, after roses had become rare, and a life built together had more merit than any words.
I was envious. I knew that a life like that would probably not happen for me. Not since the accident, since my body had been broken in ways that no medicine could fix, and no red-blooded man would desire. Oh, maybe for a night, but my body was no longer fit for building a family or a life with a man. Tears misted my vision and I stumbled down the veranda steps to the driveway and waited for Patricia and Hannah there.
Daniel came up behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders. I stood very still, unsure of how I should behave in front of his parents, Patricia, anyone that just happened to walk by. I felt his frustration and I felt terrible. I turned around to face him, but he was already walking away, my shoulders cooling where his hands had warmed them.
I made up my mind to give him anything he wanted after the party the next day. After all, there’d be alcohol to bolster my courage and all the loveliness and laughter and fireworks to put him in the mood.
So long as I was the one he chose at the end of the night.
The thought worried me, and I gnawed on the fear that I’d waited too long for the entire ride into town. I sat in the backseat, happy to let Patricia and Hannah chat and ignore me. I was so in my own head, I didn’t realize they’d begun to include me in the conversation until Hannah asked if I was all right. She’d asked me a question and I hadn’t answered the first or second time she tried.
“I’m so sorry,” I stammered. “Please repeat the question; I was back here collecting cobwebs. I didn’t hear a thing the two of you were saying.”
Patricia laughed and looked at me over her shoulder. “Naw, we’re old ladies and we weren’t talking about anything important. But, now that I know you’re not listening anyway, I’ll go ahead and start speculatin’ about you and young Daniel.” She chuckled.” It’s about time he heard ‘no’ from a young lady; it gives me no small pleasure to see him all worked up for once, instead of walking around like the cat that ate the cream.”
She snorted at the deep sigh Hannah let out. “Now, Hannah,” she chided her employer and friend. “We both know the rest of your boys won’t take that step until they see him do it.” She looked me in the eye, straining against her seatbelt to turn all the way around in her seat.
“I don’t think Daniel actually likes me very much anymore,” I offered. “I’m sorry if that’s not as interesting as the alternative.” I shrugged. “I’m not very easy to know.”
“Oh, I’ve seen how he looks at you.” Patricia looked at me over her cat-eye glasses. “If you wanted to, you could get that boy walking over hot coals. I just don’t understand why you don’t see it,” she chastened me.
“I’m not as…perfect…physically, as his other women,” I cautioned. “I haven’t had a man look at all my scars and say, ‘Wow, just what I always wanted!’ so I’m not expecting anything from him, or anyone else,” I said the words matter-of-factly, but it released a tight band that had been welded around my heart for the past two years, ever since Jason had forced me to ride while he drove drunk, then dumped me because of all the damage to my body.
He, of course, had walked away unscathed, and had the option of chasing plastic tail like Sara Abbott. I’d worried for a long time that no one would want me. Right in that moment, I just didn’t care anymore.
I met Hannah’s eyes in the rear-view mirror. I was pretty sure I loved her handsome son. Moreover, I was in love with his whole family. But, if he didn’t want me because I’d taken too long to give him my unique and disconcerting body, I would live. Because Lago Colina had made me a better veterinarian than peers who were already graduated. By the time I was done with school, I’d have a resume that boasted being the onsite vet for a huge horsing operation, having successfully delivered in high risk foalings, and having been entrusted with some of the most expensive investments in the equine world.
“What are you thinking, lovey?” Hannah asked, releasing my gaze as the light turned green and she moved through the intersection to the restaurant valet.
“I just realized how glad I am that I work for you and Mr. Hargrave,” I replied. “I’ve done good work, and you trusted me to. I won’t forget that anytime soon.” My door opened and a valet waited for me to climb out. I looked down at my clothes. “I’m sorry, Hannah. This really was the best I had to wear. I don’t know where I thought I’d be acceptable in it, though.” I felt like a hick at the country club. I walked inside behind them as she waved off my concerns. I almost laughed out loud when I realized we were actually at a country club.
I looked around and sure enough, there were eyes staring at me from every corner of the dining room. I stood closer to Hannah and kept my own eyes down as we were led to our table. I felt a hand on my arm and looked up, immediately wishing for a giant hole to appear in the floor, swallow me whole, and close behind me. Standing there was no other than Sara Abbott. I stood taller and braced myself for a fight. Before either of us could throw the firs
t blow, Hannah spoke up cheerfully.
“Sara, how good to see you. You’ve had more work done; soon I won’t recognize you!” she exclaimed in a sweet, happy tone that belied the words. It was a talent I didn’t possess, but Hannah was a true southern belle. Sappy, sweet, mean girl was the standard around these parts. I looked from Hannah to Sara. Hannah’s smile was tight and forced, and Sara just wore her standard petulant face.
“I was just saying ‘hello’ to little Rachel here. I heard you didn’t quite make Daniel’s to-do list, honey. I’m sorry.” She batted her eyelashes at me as she ignored Hannah and tried to strike out at me.
“Well, that’s a relief,” I finally replied, feeling as brave standing next to Hannah as I would’ve with my outspoken best friend, Tracy. So brave, that I added a bite of my own, saying: “I would rather just not be on the list, than be one more finished chore.” I resisted the almost irrepressible urge to high five my employer and turned my back on Sara, sitting at the table and picking up a menu. Patricia had enough sense to wait until Sara had walked out of earshot before laughing.
As though a switch was flipped, I went from being anxious and afraid, to feeling like I owned the whole country club. I grinned at Hannah. No wonder she and my mother had ben immediate friends.
I had lucked into the best employers I’d ever heard of in the ranching community. I laughed and actually contributed to the conversation over a scrumptious lunch of wild salmon and caper berries, and even splurged on dessert. After all, Patricia (really, doll, call me Patty, everyone else does), had pointed out that if you want to feel good in clothes after you get them home, it’s best to be a little “poufy” when you try them on.
Hannah wasn’t sure of the logic, but I planned on working it all off doing chores anyway, so I ordered and demolished a bright, tangy lemon cheesecake mousse with fresh berries. I asked to be rolled out to the Escalade, but Hannah assured me that if I hadn’t had to undo my pants, I was fine. The ladies asked for my input when it came time to choose a dress shop, but I honestly didn’t know where to start, so Hannah drove us to Linda Asaf downtown.