by Alexa Davis
I met my parents in the garden, where Skipper was enjoying the attention being lavished on him by Caleb and Jackson. My mother was listening to some gardening tip or other from Hannah, and my father was reading one of the paperback novels he carried with him everywhere he went. As I approached, he set the book in his lap and smiled.
“Hey there, kiddo. How’re you doing this morning?” he asked, patting the bench next to him. I took him up on the offer and sat down.
The dew had already burned off the flowers and the air smelled of sun-soaked honeysuckle from the trellises that lined the path on either side of the carved oak bench. The sun shone down from overhead, leaving only a small, oblong shadow directly under me, signaling the impending arrival of a pack of hungry men, looking for their lunch.
As if on cue, Patty and her kitchen helper began setting plates of veggies and fresh loaves of bread out on the long communal table. Plates were stacked at one end, with cutlery and napkins. I nudged my dad with my shoulder.
“You know, I haven’t actually taken the time to eat a proper meal yet. Do you want to head up to the table with me before the men descend like locusts and eat it all?” I whispered. My father looked around like he was scanning the area for enemy spies and nodded in my direction with a wink.
Laughing, I looped my arm through his and we made for the table, with Caleb and Jackson hot on our heels. I built him a sandwich despite his protests that he was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. As long as I’d been on the ranch, there was always someone taking care of me. I knew I put in hard work and it wasn’t because they saw me as lesser. Still, it felt nice to simply take care of someone else for a minute.
I slapped Caleb’s hand away from the fresh baked bread he was reaching for and swiped two thick, fragrant slices for myself. My stomach seemed of two minds today, one part famished, the other too worried to eat. I reminded myself that Jason Steed was no longer my problem to worry about and put together a lunch plate for myself, only occasionally looking around to see if Daniel was going to join us. Disappointed when he didn’t show up with the ranch hands, I reminded myself that he had the whole ranch to run and he’d already spent the entire morning with me.
Remembering how it had felt to let go of my fear and let him see me, touch all of me, without pulling away or being disgusted by my body made me feel brave again. It was a rush to feel free of what had happened to me. I had slowly undone the chains that had bound me after the accident. Mobility, self-reliance, ridding my body of the lingering pain, those chains had been cut before I arrived at Lago Colina.
I looked around for the man that had finally made me want him more than I wanted my isolation. Daniel had made me crave him beyond anything I had known possible. The anticipation of having his hands on me made my neck hairs stand at attention.
Almost as though he knew I was thinking about him, Daniel strode out onto the veranda, grinning and joking with the men as though nothing was different. But when he finally looked my way, instead of possession or desire, I saw something dark and sad move across his eyes. A fist of worry closed around my heart, only slightly loosened when he set his plate of food next to me and sat down to eat.
I decided I was just being silly. We’d finally slept together, but the entire rest of the population of Lago Colina assumed we’d been doing it long ago. Besides, we were adults. There was no need to make a big announcement or start holding hands everywhere we went, just because we enjoyed each other’s company. I shoved away the thought that enjoyment didn’t exactly cover how deeply and desperately I wanted him and stared down at my plate to avoid telegraphing my sudden blush to the opposite end of the table.
As usual, Mr. Hargrave stood and handed out assignments. I listened to hear mine, but my name wasn’t called. In light of what had happened the night before, I assumed it was simply an oversight, that they thought I needed more time. I waited for the veranda to clear and the men to wander off to their respective posts for the remainder of the afternoon. When they’d gone, I approached the elder Hargraves, who were chatting up my parents. Daniel had disappeared again, and Caleb and Jackson had taken off.
I interrupted them as politely as I could, but the looks on their faces made me regret even walking over. My mother and father offered me wan smiles before they backed away and gave Mr. and Mrs. Hargrave room to talk to me alone. Tracy tried to join me, but my mother held her back. My heart was racing, pulse thrumming in my veins like fire. I started to hyperventilate, but controlled my breathing and waited for Hannah to speak.
“Rachel, we know that you’ve been through a lot, and we just want you to understand that your time here has meant the world to us,” she began as her husband stared at me sullenly, trying to find his “blank face” and missing by a mile.
“So I’m fired?” I made the question a statement, but I really wanted to know, I couldn’t understand why, unless now that Daniel had finally gotten the fruit of his labors, he was done with me. “Has any of my work, ever, not been above reproach?” I asked, my panic rising with the volume of my voice. I fought to control both and crossed my arms, holding myself tight.
“That’s not it at all,” Hannah chided.
“Really? Then I would absolutely love to know why I’m being let go, and why apparently everyone, including my goddamn parents, knew before I did.” I paced in front of them, pointedly ignoring the chastising sounds my mother made behind me. “Did you find fault with my work?” I demanded.
“Of course not,” Hannah huffed. Her husband simply watched me, like I was an alien life-form.
“Then you are firing me without cause, correct?” I asked, feeling the anger burn away the anxiety that was clouding my mind.
“We aren’t firing you, Rachel; we’re sending you home,” Hannah explained.
“How is that not firing me, exactly?” I hissed. “I did everything that was asked of me. I gave my heart and soul to this place, and now you’re cutting me loose because Ms. Vale signed the contract so I can’t take her with me when I go. Am I close?” I was almost yelling, and quite frankly, I hoped their son could hear me. I wanted him to come out here so I could tell him what a coward he was for making his parents do what he knew was wrong.
“That is absolutely not close at all, actually,” Daniel’s voice materialized behind me. I refused to turn around or acknowledge him as he stormed up behind me. “As a matter of fact, you’re being sent home for your own good, at a time that really, really sucks for us.”
“Right. That makes total sense. How logical of you all,” I scoffed. “Obviously, there’s no point in arguing. I have no power here. I’ll collect my things and go.” I side-stepped Daniel’s parents and shot my own a glare before I headed towards the lovely, little cottage I had felt so lucky to call home.
I made it around the house and across the expanse of lawn that separated the gardens of the workers’ quarters with the big house garden before Daniel caught up to me and grabbed me by the arm.
“You had best let go of me, Daniel Hargrave. I am about two seconds from re-breaking my hand on your traitorous face.” He leaned back a little, startled by my vehemence, but he held on tight and forced me to very seriously consider actually hitting him.
“Look. My parents didn’t handle that the way they should have,” he stated, pausing for a moment, then releasing my arm.
“Really? Didn’t handle firing me for my own good the way that they should’ve. Okay, how should they have handled firing me for no reason?” I tried not to shout at him, but I was so full of rage I wasn’t sure what I was saying anymore, or how loudly I was doing it.
“You were just done with me. All that bullshit about how goddamn special I was, and it was just another guy who wasn’t used to hearing ‘no.’” I panted as I fought to breathe through my rigid ribcage. It was frozen around my lungs like a vise, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get a complete breath.
My vision swam, and in the background, I heard Daniel yelling at me. I wanted him to stop,
but I couldn’t yell back at him, I couldn’t even speak. I sank to my hands and knees on the ground, gasping for air until my sight went black. Just as I thought I was about to lose consciousness, I felt strong hands slide around my arms, picking me up and holding me against a broad chest.
There was whispering in my ear, so soft I couldn’t hear it, just feel the motion of air against my hair and ear. Somehow, I was able to finally catch a lungful of air despite the pain of the panic squeezing down on my chest, and with that, it was easier to fill them again, and a third time.
Soon, I was breathing normally, looking at a very worried Daniel kneeling in front of me. Surprised, I actually listened to the voice in my ear. Tears sprang to my eyes as I realized who had held me when I thought the panic was finally going to kill me.
I relaxed in his arms, and my father turned me so that I was cradled sideways across his lap. He kept repeating for me to breathe, even in this position, so I did. I let my dad hold me shamelessly, like I was four again and had just fallen off my horse. After a few more deep breaths, I realized that my chest felt almost normal again. The squeezing had all but disappeared, leaving a dull ache behind. In my ear, my father was still talking to me.
“And this, my girl, is why you are coming home,” I heard him say. “Not forever, but until you don’t have to worry about Jason Steed, or his cronies who will get him out of jail, or anything else that can undo the good you have accomplished in your life since he nearly stole it from you.” I couldn’t look into his face, so I watched Daniel, to see if my father was telling the truth.
“I’m sorry, Rachel,” he echoed my father. “I don’t want you to go; in fact, I was so against it, I wouldn’t even stand with them when they told you.” He tugged his fingers through his hair, making it stand out at funny angles. The result was so endearing I felt my resolve to hate him forever, slipping away.
“I don’t know why you think that everything that scares me has something to do with some colossal asshat that I dated long before we met,” I declared. “I may have some baggage to deal with, but I’m sure no one here doesn’t.” I pulled away from my dad’s embrace. “I deserve to at least see Texas Tango through y’all choosing him a new jockey.” Daniel helped me to my feet and I tried not to sway too much, even though the world spun around me. “If y’all are so worried about me, then why didn’t anyone ask me?” I pointed out.
Daniel shook his head and scrubbed at his face with his hands. I’d seen him doing that a lot when I was around, it finally dawned on me that when he did that, I was frustrating the hell out of him. For once, I was glad for it. I didn’t want to be the only frustrated person on the ranch, after all.
“Rachel, Daniel, is everything okay over here?” I heard Hannah ask from a distance. I glanced up and she, Henry, and my mother were all approaching from the back garden.
“How long was I freaking out?” I hissed at my dad.
“Only a minute or two. Though I’m sure it probably felt longer.” He patted me on the back. “Don’t worry, they didn’t see a thing. I just followed you because I had a bad feeling.” I nodded and looked at Daniel, meeting his eyes and searching for anything that would tell me what he was thinking.
“So,” I finally offered. “Do you want me to go?” I inquired, asking the one question that made my stomach feel like Jell-O in an earthquake.
“No, I really don’t.” Daniel shrugged. “But, if you need to be away from us to be okay, away from the stupid threats and possible lawsuits that are coming at us, then I will send you away.” I gaped at him, even as the small voice inside my head chided me for not anticipating the ceaseless entitlement of Jason and his kind.
“Daniel, please don’t send me away,” I pled softly as our families got closer. “I need the work now to get through. I need to stay active and be with the horses, with Texas Tango. What else do I have to keep me going?” I implored. I watched the thoughts move through his mind as he weighed the risk of keeping the crazy woman on, or letting her go.
“Will you at least take the weekend off, spend a couple of days with your parents? I promise we’d take good care of Peacemaker and Skipper.”
“I’d go, if I get to take your truck, and I’d be taking Skipper with me,” I countered. He snorted and wrapped his arms around my waist.
“You’re taking my truck so I can’t leave, or so I have to let you come back?”
“Not sure which, really. I mean, Sara is apparently available again, so I guess the first has merit, even though I hadn’t thought of it.” Daniel buried his face in my neck and kissed it softly before he answered.
“Oh, you funny, beautiful girl.” His breath whispered over the sensitive skin at the nape of my neck. “Sara Abbott is always, and I mean ALWAYS available.” I flinched away, but he held me tight. “The truth is that I’m not available for her, and as far as I can tell, I won’t become available in the foreseeable future.”
I pulled away enough to look into his eyes and see the purely masculine glint of possession and lust that shot through them for me.
“I’m still taking your truck,” I asserted, narrowing my eyes at him. He barked out a laugh and kissed me hard on the mouth.
“I would expect nothing less, darlin’. I’ll go get you the keys, and you go ahead and pack an overnight bag.” He chuckled and kissed me again, lightly. It was the second kiss that made me fall in love with him, to my surprise. Not the passion, or the amazing sex, but that one kiss, casual and happy because I’d let him keep me safe, even though I hated it and he knew it.
I realized as I watched him stride towards the big house and his office with a bounce in his step that I was about to live through the longest two days of my life.
Chapter Fourteen
Daniel
Sending Rachel away was harder for me than I thought. It was a hell of a lot harder than it should’ve been. She needed a little space and time away from the gossip and the impending shit-storm that was about to hit the ranch. But I hated her going. I needed her here to keep me on track and make sure we kept the dream going, in spite of the adversity.
So, I planned a surprise for her. First and foremost, we needed a jockey for Texas Tango, and Rachel had already done so much legwork in seeking out good candidates, that I had no good reason not to follow up on them.
Second, I borrowed my mother’s Escalade and headed into Austin. I justified it to myself that Rachel had taken the truck to stop us from keeping her away, not to put me under house arrest, and also, I had no intention of telling her, so it didn’t matter anyway.
I had to admit to myself after she had gone that her perception of my action as disloyalty had stung. A lot. So, I did what any man would do when the only woman he could see himself undressing for the rest of his life thought he might not value her above all others. I drove myself to the nearest Tiffany & Co. and bought her a ring. Or rather, I let the girl behind the counter talk me into having a ring designed, which was four times as expensive and would take a couple of weeks to get back to me.
Designing a ring for her was more satisfying than I would admit to any man, and it gave me the opportunity to make something that was uniquely hers, so that she could be uniquely mine. Walking out of the store after spending thousands of dollars more than I thought I would, I patted myself on the back for drawing the line at a ring and refusing any other suggestions. That is, until I saw the horse pendants dangling from some silver bracelet, along with beads and charms of every kind imaginable.
The savvy shop-girl saw me pause and pounced on me in an instant. She held up the “Pandora bracelet” and began pointing out each individual knick-knack and charm she could add to make the bracelet completely one of a kind. In the end, I walked out of the jewelry store with a sterling silver bracelet costing almost one thousand dollars with a street value of, probably, less than one hundred.
I’d never felt so good about a gift in my life. I mused to myself all the way home that the only way I could ever do better than I just had, was to buy the
girl a horse. Which I had every intention of doing someday. But, I knew better than to buy one without her there to examine it and make the choice herself.
I hummed along with a Florida Georgia Line song playing on the radio and remembered the last time I’d felt good enough to do that. Rachel was the reason the first time, and she was the reason then. I wasn’t sure when I knew that I wanted us to be a family. It had happened somewhere between her telling me that my ranch needed her to make it better, and proving to me that she was right.
I stopped at the light ahead and realized with a shock that I was no longer on the way home, but had taken the turnoff needed to go to Georgetown, where Rachel’s parents lived. I considered my options while I waited for the light to change and decided to go ahead and get back to the ranch before she realized exactly how lost I was without her. Chuckling to myself, I made a U-turn in the intersection and headed home.
I was sitting in my office working on backlogs of my father’s old receipts when I finally checked my phone. On it was a text from Rachel that said: “I saw you. You should’ve just come over. Dad bought a smoker, and he’s killing it.”
I rubbed my face with my hands and shook my head. Of course she saw me looking like a weird stalker. At least she didn’t know where I’d come from. I had to prove to her that I was still worthy of the answer I wanted and sending her away had been a definite step in the wrong direction.
I had another day and a half without Rachel to help me with my jockey selection, so I went through her files and read up on each of her choices, impressed by the notes she had left for me regarding their strengths, weaknesses, and what each of them could potentially bring to Lago Colina.
It was obvious from her notes that she favored one rider above the others, though I couldn’t see why. The woman was a relative unknown. She was less experienced than some of the others, and had no big wins to her name at all. The only upside from my point of view was that she was bound to be cheaper than the others on the list.