Double Grades

by Kristine Robinson

  The thing that effected Kari the most, then, was the fact that her mother still refused to talk to her. She was surprised to find that the comments and the stares were something that she could handle, that she really didn’t have a hard time blocking them out. She’d have easily taken more of the negative reactions from the town if only her mother would talk to her again, accept that she was in love… that she had found someone that made her happy and understood her. The fact that Mary was another woman should have been inconsequential – but Kari knew her mother, and knew that it would be a long, hard battle to get her mother to see things the way that Kari wanted her to.

  So the months wore on. Kari would get letters from angry and supportive parents and neighbors alike, until the hype from her and Mary’s ‘scandal’ died down and those who had paid so much attention to it began to either get bored – or used – to the fact that there were two happy, gay women in town, and they were together and they weren’t going to stop being together. It was… a shaky acceptance, but it was better than Kari had expected. It was something that she could deal with – imperfections of the situation and all.

  ***

  The summer came, and school let out. Kari had decided to forego summer classes for a break from teaching; Mary was too willing to follow suit. They both thought that it would be best for them both. The year had been long, and tiring, even with the good occurrences that had happened – they always tried to look to the positive, to keep each other on the right side of sane.

  “Throw open those windows, will you? Let in some nice fresh air. It’s far too hot in here.”

  The air conditioning in Kari’s house was, unfortunately, broken. It liked to do that off and on from time to time. Kari had learned that letting it sit and be grumpy, as she called it, for a while usually set it right. But while it was being ‘grumpy,’ it was hell (almost literally) for her in her home.

  Mary did as asked without question, opening the front windows, and then going to open the kitchen windows as well to get a decent breeze to run through Kari’s house. When it started, both sighed in relief, and collapsed on the couch, fanning themselves.

  “I would almost take teaching over the summer where there’s constant AC than this,” Kari said.

  “You and me both. I love you, K, but if you weren’t here I definitely wouldn’t be. Your house is an oven.”

  Kari laughed.

  “Oh, so you love me now, do you?”

  She swatted at the pillow that Mary tossed her way, letting it fall to the floor with a soft, near silent thud.

  “You know it, hun. You know it.”

  They slipped into a comfortable silence, as they often did when there was nothing more they needed than the presence of each other’s company. Kari even began to doze, finally soothed by the cool breeze wafting through the house. As with many nice things, though, it was interrupted by a knock at the door, and the sound of a voice that Kari hadn’t heard in almost a year.

  “Kari? Are you home? I see your car outside.”

  Kari’s eyes opened and widened as she sat up, looking towards the front of the house.

  “Who’s that?” Mary asked, watching as Kari stood and made her way to the door.

  “My mother…”

  Mary was silent as Kari opened the door, and Kari herself wasn’t sure what she was supposed to make of the woman standing on her porch – the very woman who had told her that she needed to get out of her home, that she hadn’t raised her to lay with other women. Kari, admittedly, was unsure of how to receive the woman. She didn’t know why her mother had come or what she wanted, but she was on her guard.

  They didn’t say anything. Kari waited for her mother to speak. The woman seemed to not know what she was going to say, and stood there, almost nervously, before she decided to speak.

  “May I come in?”

  Kari’s brows furrowed. She looked over her shoulder, to the living room where Mary sat. She looked back at her mother.

  “I have company,” she said. “Mary’s over.” She let that sink in, knowing her mother had to know by now just who Mary was. Her mother also glanced in, and then looked to her.

  “May I come in?” she repeated.

  Kari stepped aside to allow her mother entrance. She came inside, looking around as though she thought that something might jump out and get her. Mary greeted them at the living room, standing and looking between Kari and her mother. She gave the woman a warm smile and held out her hand to shake.

  “Hello. I’m Mary, Kari’s girlfriend. Pleased to meet you.”

  To her shock, Kari’s eyes widened as her mother shook Mary’s hand. She hadn’t expected that.

  “…Mrs. Anders,” she said. “Or Martha. Nice… to meet you.”

  There was another silence, and then Kari spoke.

  “Um… should we sit, then?”

  “Yes, yes,” Kari’s mother said. “I think we should.”

  Mary and Kari sat on the loveseat, giving her mother the choice of chair and couch. Her mother took the chair, and sat, staring quite keenly at Kari. She shifted, as though thinking. Kari gave her the time to do so, deciding that if her mother had come here willingly, there was something important she wanted to say.

  “I’ve been doing some thinking,” her mother said. “About… all of this.” She gestured between Mary and Kari. “And what I said when you visited me last.”

  “Oh?” Kari shifted, swallowing, and glanced to Mary. Mary squeezed her hand for support, offering her a smile. Kari turned back to her mother. “What about ‘all of this?’”

  Once more, Kari’s mother seemed to struggle. Kari gave her the breadth to gather her thoughts, and speak again.

  “I think I was… wrong,” she said. “About you. About the two of you. I was ashamed and angry that you had kept that from me, that people were talking about it and you the way they were. I don’t… I don’t understand,” she said honestly. “I don’t understand any of it. Two women together… it’s just like two men. I don’t get it. But I shouldn’t have treated you like that.”

  “Mama…”

  Her mother held up her hand, continuing. “I’m not… I still don’t know what to make of you two,” she said, once more gesturing between the two of them. “But I want to try. I miss my girl. I want to be a part of her life.”

  Kari swallowed, not believing what she was hearing. She hadn’t thought that her mother would come around – and certainly not this quickly. Though she wasn’t praising her daughter and coming forth with unconditional acceptance… what she said meant something. It was more than Kari could describe.

  Without thinking, she launched herself at her mother, wrapping her arms around her tight. Tears were at her eyes, but unlike the last time that she and her mother had spoken, they were happy tears, streaming warmly down her face.

  “I missed you too, mama. So much. I can help you understand. We –” She pulled away, looking back to Mary. “We can help you understand?”

  Mary smiled at her.

  “We can definitely help. You know I’m always here for you – both of you.”

  ***

  “Ah –!”

  It was their wedding night, just three years after that day with her mother. A night that, with a certain honesty, Kari hadn’t thought she would ever have. Weddings were for people who weren’t like her – dashing grooms and blushing women, not school teachers with damming life-long secrets. Two women – it was practically unheard of in her tiny little town.

  But there she was. Her body pressed so sweetly against the woman of her dreams, the slickness of their bodies mingling with the moans in the air. Mary was above her, rocking her hips against hers as they clung to each other, tangled in the bedsheets of their honeymoon suite. She could still scent the sweet perfume that Mary had worn at their reception, and her hair still desperately clung in the curls that had been painstakingly twisted into them. She was a vision.

  “I love you,” Kari breathed out against Mary’s lips. “I love you so mu
ch… so much…”

  “I love you too,” Mary said. “More than anything.”

  Words stopped there. There was nothing more to say between the two of them, and there was something immensely satisfying in how eagerly Mary’s body pressed against hers. It was insistent, needy – as if she needed to take and savor as much of it as possible. Kari could understand. Her legs were wrapped so tight about Mary’s middle. She didn’t want to let her go – this was as close to one as they were, and she wanted to stay that way, wanted to savor it to its fullest.

  They kissed, and kissed passionately. Undulations sent Kari’s body into a sensitive overdrive, and it wasn’t the first time she had found her release that night – it wouldn’t be her last. Mary left her no time to recoup, no rest. Her fingers were insistent, pushing into her flooded sex even as she continued to rock her body against it. Kari’s legs spread, limp at Mary’s sides as Mary had her way.

  “Don’t stop –” Kari arched, feeling Mary’s fingers deep, pressed against her womb and the sensation left a shocking, insanity-inducing feeling. Moans fell readily from her lips and in her pleasures she gripped the sheets, pulling at them and straining the fabric between her fingers.

  Mary’s lips moved from her mouth to her jaw, down even more to kiss and nip at her neck. More gasps came from Kari; Mary’s teeth sank into the tender column of flesh, and Kari knew she’d be marked. The thought of that – bearing a sign of Mary’s indulgence, made her insides pulse and flutter around Mary’s fingers, and she rocked her hips, wanting more, more – always more.

  When Mary’s lips came to her breasts, she gasped. More kisses given, and teeth grazing tenderly in before a nipple was plucked between Mary’s lips. Her fingers buried in Mary’s hair, tightly, tugging, before she pulled Mary away.

  They panted, looking at each other. A fiery spark – passion, desire. That’s what Kari saw as she looked at her love, her wife.

  “On you back,” she said breathily.

  Mary smiled, stealing a kiss as compliance followed. Kari knew what she wanted – mutual exchange. She wanted to come undone as she made her darling love do the same beneath her. She slid her legs at either side of Mary’s head, facing so they could each have free access to the wanting sex of the other. As Mary grabbed her hips, tugging her close to slide the flesh of her tongue inside her, Kari lowered herself, eagerly mouthing at the sweet liquid coating Mary’s precious lips.

  They worked at each other, mouth and fingers, heightening the experience of togetherness by bringing each other over, simultaneous. Mary’s lips sat snug against her pleasure spot, suckling and bringing the sensitive bud to fullness within her mouth. Kari rocked against her, encouraging more, always, as her own fingers slid within Mary’s open heat and she flicked her tongue along Mary’s sex.

  They lay like that together, their moans muffled against the other’s parted flesh – the occasional whine slipping from between slickened thighs. The indulged. They loved. There was nothing about the other they didn’t bring to the heights of full pleasure, again and again. Their sheets soaked, muscles tired. They loved each other physically as they did emotionally.

  It was beautiful, and Kari wouldn’t have it any other way.

  New To College

  ~ Bonus Story ~

  A First Time Lesbian Romance

  Jamie Is new to college, but not new to the world. She has an open mind and a git heart. There is a lot to love about the young woman, and she is fully aware of that. Jamie thinks of college as a kind growing place in her life where she would start to manifest culture and a sense of being and belonging. It was something she looked forward to, and at the same time something dreaded.

  There was no way she would give up the experience looking back now, though. All of the things that happened made her a more mature person. Now she knew how to handle life, and there weren't underlying questions. The past laid out before her like a great ribbon, she knew that, in the end, some things were simply meant to last.

  * * *

  Majoring in Womens Studies

  Jamie had just started her freshman year of college, and so far everything had been great. There had been plenty to eat in the cafeteria and even more to drink in the bars and at parties. College was everything she'd hoped it be when she left college. The only real problem was that she was becoming less and less interested in boys.

  It wasn't really a problem as much as it was a change in course, as far as Jamie was concerned. She knew that her parents would be understanding no matter what she did. Or at least she hoped so. It would be hard to find out in the moment that they weren't really those kind of people. Jamie knew that there would be people in her life who scoffed at the idea of her changing her sexual preference, but she also knew that if she was going to spend the rest of her life living for someone else, then she was going to have a rough time.

  As Jamie walked across ISU's beautiful campus, she thought about her roommate at the dormitory, Adrian. Adrian had initially named Adriana, but had her name legally changed because she hated her father so much. Jamie wasn't sure of all the details, and didn't know if she really wanted to know all the details, but it totally made sense, sometimes, how Adrian acted.

  She cut her hair short, sometimes into sloppy, haggard pixie cuts, other times leaving only a fringe of hair around her head while buzzing the rest of it with a three of four guard. It was always interesting for Jamie to see what kind of outfit Adrian was going to wear that day. There were days she dressed very androgynous, and other days where she very much dressed like a lady.

  At first it had been a lot to take in on Jamie's part. She had been feeling quite a bit differently about the fairer sex since she'd come to college and started partying more. Not only that, but she'd really started to question why she was the way she was, and how she could become a better person. She knew that it wouldn't be easy, that much was certain. There were going to be moments that she wished she'd never changed at all, but she wanted to change. Jamie thought it was most important, first and foremost, that she be true to herself. If she wasn't going to at least giver herself the respect of doing it her own way, then what was the use of doing it at all.

  There was no reason for anyone to be upset by her curiosity, but Jamie knew that there would be people in her life that would scoff at her, or tell her that it wasn't so, that nothing had really changed and it was all in her head. But Jamie knew there was no going back to how she used to be, but she did wonder if there was any way that her future would be able to include Adrian.

  Because Adrian had grown to be the apple of her eye, something she could only hope one day to try to pluck out of the night sky as it streaked horizon to horizon in brazen glory. Everything that Jamie that found attractive was something Adrian had in spades as far as Jamie was concerned. There was something about Adrian that Jamie found so intoxicating she couldn't help but smile and laugh. There was also something about the way that Adrian didn't really seem that interested in anyone, despite hooking up with men and making out with women, that attracted Jamie. Jamie knew this, but didn't know what to make of it.

  Attraction, and love, could be a subtle thing. Jamie didn't think she was in love, or anything like that, but she did know there was the possibility of it, and not only that, that she was most certainly in lust. Being in lust made her loins ache, and throb. And as she walked across campus the sun played its rays across her face and neckline while the warm breeze caressed her thighs and ankles.

  She wondered if Adrian ever had the same thoughts she was having right now. Jamie figured it was a good bet, considering how long Adrian's eyes would linger on her whenever they crossed paths sharing the bathroom in the morning. It wasn't just that, but the way Adrian's touch lingered on her skin just a beat or so longer than necessary, or the way Adrian would come and sometimes kiss her on the cheek after making small talk, and tell her goodnight.

  Adrian was a hell of a woman, even if there wasn't any of that kind of attraction, but Jamie would be completely and total
ly shocked if there wasn't. There had to be. As she pumped her legs, quickly bounding up the stairs to her biology class, Jamie thought about Adrian's shor hair and how it seemed to have a red tinge to it when the sun hit it just right. There were moments when Jamie knew that Adrian had caught her outright staring, but hadn't said or done anything besides smirk and look away.

  The rest of the students streamed out of the halls and into their classes as Jamie made her way to the uppermost part of the building. There was nothing she could do but be late, sometimes. Her professor was cool about it, and didn't make her feel badly at all. Jamie was fast, but sprinting across campus in heels just didn't sound like something she wanted to do. And, after all, what was the harm in being a little bit late. There didn't seem to be, and why not take advantage of the curtsey of a stranger in a position of authority.

  Jamie knew that was a terrible way to think about it, especially considering that the professors were supposed to be her mentors, but that was how she felt. There had been too many times that she'd trusted a professor only to find out that, in the end, they didn't really care as much about Jamie as she'd thought. Once, when a math teacher had promised to help her study up for the final, he didn't come through at all for her in the final weeks—he'd even canceled review sessions for the class!

  But as Jamie settled into her seat she knew that her thoughts would return to Adrian. Adrian was something her mind loved to flit to, and didn't ever seem to take the time to catch itself on something else. It was something that maybe was on the borderline of romantic obsession. Jamie continued to think about Adrian the rest of the day, and thoughts about her roommate followed her all the way home.

  When she opened the door to her apartment Jamie was surprised to be greeted by a party in her living room. There were people from class all drinking and carousing. She wasn't taken aback as much as she was just sort of stunned that so many people would come over on a Tuesday and be drunk before five in the afternoon. Out of nowhere Adrian appeared.