Behind them, the flames in the fireplace were throwing out waves of heat, but it couldn’t begin to compare to the sizzle rushing through Laurel as his tongue plunged past her teeth and invited her tongue to mate with his. The intimate connection filled Laurel with uncontrollable heat and summoned a moan deep within her throat.
Just as she was becoming lost to the erotic things he was doing to her mouth, his hands returned to her hips and tugged the lower half of her body tightly against his. Laurel didn’t need experience to understand the language of his body. She was reading it loud and clear. Yet she was helpless to turn away or deny either of them.
When he finally tore his mouth from hers, he sucked in a fierce breath then whispered against her ear. “Do you know what you’re doing, Laurel? I want to make love to you. If that’s not what you want, then I’ve got to stop and get the hell out of here. Understand?”
With his thumbs resting against her cheeks and his hands bracketing her face, he tilted her face so that their gazes could meet. And as Laurel looked at him, she could do little more than nod.
“Yes. I understand,” she finally managed to say.
One hand eased away from her face and came up to gently stroke a tangle of reddish-brown hair off her forehead.
“And?”
“And I don’t want you to leave.”
The moment the solemn answer passed her lips, a look of triumph flickered in his eyes and without another word, he rose from the rug and pulled her along with him.
As he led her out of the room and across the short hallway to her bedroom, Laurel felt like a sleeping princess in a dream. Everything around her seemed too hazy to be real. Even the darkness of the bedroom held a velvety softness that enveloped the two of them like a warm cloak. But if she was sleeping, she could only hope his kisses didn’t wake her.
A few short steps inside the bedroom, Laurel left his side long enough to switch on a small lamp near the head of the bed. For a brief moment the golden-hued circle of light penetrated the foggy haze of her desire and a voice inside her head began to scream at her to run, to save herself from the heartache that was sure to follow these forbidden moments with Russ.
But before she could let the doubtful voice sway her, Russ was at her side, drawing her back into the tight circle of his arms.
“I feel goose bumps,” he murmured as his hands dipped beneath her sweater and eased around to her back. “If you’re cold, I’d better do something about it.”
Her laugh came out sounding more like a choked cry. “It’s cooler in here. But I’m not cold. Not with your arms around me.”
He must have liked her answer, because he dropped another kiss on her lips before he guided her over to the edge of the mattress. As she stood on the tip of her toes, seeking the pleasure of his mouth once again, the last lingering bits of Laurel’s shyness evaporated.
Her fingers quickly began to fumble with the buttons on his shirt. Once they were released and the fabric fell open, it set off a chain reaction that had him rapidly shrugging out of the garment, then shedding the black thermal top he was wearing beneath. Once it was out of the way and his torso was bare, he turned to her.
In a matter of seconds he pulled her sweater over her head, then unhooked her bra and slid it off her arms. The moment her breasts were exposed to his sight, he paused to curve his hands around their fullness, then slowly, purposely, his head bent to place a kiss on each budded pink nipple.
The sensation of his lips touching her heated skin sent her senses spinning. With a shocked gasp, her head fell limply backward and she clutched the sides of his waist in order to keep her balance.
“Oh, Russ... I think the floor must be tilting or I’m very, very drunk.”
Chuckling, he eased her back onto the mattress. “That’s the way you’re supposed to feel, my darling.”
The endearment melted her, and with her eyes half closed and her heart beating wildly, she watched him remove her jeans and boots, then quickly deal with the remainder of his clothing.
His strong, stocky build had always appealed to her, but the moment it was truly exposed to her, she very nearly lost her breath. His broad shoulders and arms were wide and thick with muscle, his waist lean and hard. Curly brown hair grew between his flat nipples, then downward in a V shape that ended at his navel. Below his waist, his long legs and thighs were a picture of power.
Yet it was the sight of his manhood, erect with desire, that thoroughly jolted her. She’d seen pictures of naked men before, but she’d never seen one in the flesh, and to say that Russ was all man would have been an understatement.
She needed to tell him that she’d never been with a man before, she quickly told herself. He needed to know that he would be her first and that she’d never wanted to have sex with a man until she’d met him.
But she was thirty years old. He’d probably think she was lying. And even if he did believe her, the whole thing was too embarrassing. It might even give him the idea that she was in love with him, and she wasn’t. She couldn’t be!
Before she could decide what to do or how to explain anything to him, he was already lying next to her and rolling her body close to his. Sensations suddenly swamped her as his leg slung possessively over hers, and the hair on his chest brushed against her puckered nipples.
“I’ve imagined how you might look naked in my arms and I thought it would be good,” he said lowly as one hand wandered over the curve of her waist and slipped onto her hip. “But I never dreamed you’d look this good. Or right.”
He’d dreamed of having her in his arms? The idea stung her eyes with tears, and she wrapped her arms around him and pressed her cheek to the middle of his chest. “Russ, I’m a plain woman,” she said with a rush of emotion. “I don’t understand what you’re seeing, but you make me feel special anyway. Very special.”
With his thumb and forefinger wrapped around her chin, he tilted her face away from his chest in order to look at her. “Oh, Laurel, that’s because you are special.” His fingers moved away from her chin to trace the outline of her puffy lips. “You don’t need paint on your face to make you beautiful. Your lips are naturally pink and so are your cheeks. Your eyes are the color of a gray dove. But what makes them even prettier is their softness. I’ve never seen you look at anything or anyone with anger or hate, and that’s what makes them truly beautiful.”
The tears stinging her eyes suddenly pooled and silently slipped onto her cheeks. “Russ, I— There’s something you ought to know before—”
Her words paused as he wiped away the trickles of moisture with his forefinger. “There’s no need for you to explain anything, Laurel. I understand this thing between us is happening quickly and I know you have reservations about it, but I don’t want you to fret about those now—or ever. The years we’ve been together have been good. And they’re going to keep on being good.”
She responded with an anguished murmur. “That’s not what I need to talk to you about tonight. This is something— Oh, God, this is so embarrassing—”
Her voice trailed away. But rather than pressure her to finish, his expression turned tender and he bent his head to press a cheek against hers. “My sweet Laurel. If you’re worried about birth control, I can deal with that problem.”
“I’m not worried about birth control. I’m on the Pill. Not for sexual reasons,” she added quickly, her face flaming with heat. “To keep my cycle regulated.”
He eased his head back far enough to look at her, and some of the angst she’d been feeling vanished at the understanding smile on his face. “I’m a doctor, Laurel. I know all about those sorts of things. You can’t tell me anything about your body that could possibly shock me.”
Seeing there was no easy way, she suddenly blurted, “Even if I told you I was a virgin?”
The fingers caressing her hip halted as he stared at her. “A virgin?”
Just having the word out in the open gave her a measure of relief and the confidence to reach for him.
/> With her hands making a gentle foray of his broad chest and down to his rock-hard waist, she answered, “You said you couldn’t be shocked, but you are. I can see it on your face.”
His head swung back and forth in disbelief. “I did tell you that, but I wasn’t expecting you to tell me something like this! Something that’s hard to believe. You’re—”
She grimaced. “Thirty years old,” she finished for him. “I guess that makes me sound like a freak or an old maid or whatever you want to label me.”
Easing up on one elbow, he frowned at her. “I don’t want to label you, Laurel! I want to make love to you. But now—”
Russ’s voice trailed away as all sorts of thoughts raced through his head. If he had one ounce of decency in him, he’d pull on his clothes and get the hell out of here. But as he gazed down at Laurel’s lovely face, he couldn’t ignore how much he wanted her. Probably more than he’d ever wanted any woman in his life.
Drawing in a long, cleansing breath, he tried to wrap his mind around the fact that she was still an innocent, that she’d never given herself to a man. What did it mean that she’d chosen him to be the one?
With another shake of his head, he said, “I don’t understand why you’ve waited so long, Laurel. Why—”
“Have I never had sex before?” She completed the question for him.
She turned her face away from his as though she wanted to hide from him, or her past, or both.
“Okay,” she said with a sigh, “if you really must know, I never met anyone I wanted to be that close to.” She glanced back at him, a mocking twist on her lips. “Oh, there were a few guys in high school and college who tried to get me into their beds, but I wasn’t interested in their games.”
The flat emptiness in her voice bothered Russ greatly. He didn’t want to think she’d been hurt and disillusioned by any man. “Is that what you thought—that it was all just games? You never considered that one of them might have been in love with you? Or that you loved him?”
“No. I’m not sure I know what being in love is all about.”
Her response only filled him with more questions. It was clear that something or someone had shaped her life and steered it away from finding intimacy.
But she was seeking it tonight—with him. For now that had to be enough to satisfy his doubts.
“Well, that hardly makes you unique. I’m not sure anyone knows exactly what being in love is all about.”
Her gaze suddenly dropped from his and her lips began to tremble. Russ desperately wanted to kiss away her doubts and pains, he wanted to show her, reassure her, that she wasn’t abnormal—she was a beautiful, desirable woman.
Cradling her face between his hands, he asked, “Laurel, haven’t you ever dreamed about loving a man? Marrying him and having his children?”
Her dark lashes drifted down, but not before he saw tormented shadows turn her gray eyes to cold slate.
“Yes, I’ve dreamed,” she whispered. “But dreams are different from the real thing.”
She opened her eyes, and the look he saw in their depths was suddenly desperate and pleading. “Let’s not talk about this tonight, Russ. I’m here in your arms because I want to be. Isn’t that enough?”
It wasn’t, Russ realized. Not really. Her evasiveness bothered him and he wanted to think there was more to their going to bed together than just sex. He wanted to think that he mattered to her, in all the ways a man could matter to a woman. But to press the issue would make it sound as though he was asking for her love. And he could see she was hardly ready for anything that serious. But would she ever be?
He couldn’t let himself think or worry about that question tonight. She was already offering him more than he’d ever expected. He had to take it, run with it and hope that love would come later.
Bending his head, he brushed his lips over her cheeks and nose and finally her lips. “Yes, my sweet, it’s enough,” he murmured. “But I want you to be sure. You’ve waited this long. Maybe I’m not the right man and then you’ll hate me for taking your innocence.”
All of a sudden, her arms wrapped around his neck and she pulled him tight against her. “You are the right man, Russ. The only man I want in my bed.”
His failed marriage had left his ego battered and he’d come away from it feeling worse than unwanted. Now Laurel was saying he was the only man she wanted. The words were like a soothing balm to his wounded heart.
“Laurel. Laurel. I don’t know why you chose me. But I’m damned glad you did.”
He found her lips, and as she kissed him sweetly, fervently, he didn’t have to wonder why he was here in her bed. She molded perfectly to his body and matched his life even better. She had to know that. Had to feel it each time he touched her.
For the next few minutes, Russ forced himself to keep things slow and gentle, even though it was taking a supreme effort to keep the heat inside him from exploding.
Over and over he kissed her lips until the need to taste more than her mouth finally demanded that he turn his attention elsewhere. As his lips skimmed along the length of her throat, he thought how she tasted sweet and rich, like butter-smooth candy. One bite and he wanted more. So much more.
Her rounded breasts were full, the small rosy nipples taut with desire. His tongue laved each of them until she was moaning and arching upward to bring her breasts even closer to his mouth. Her fingers dug into his hair and clamped against his scalp as though she wanted to hold him there forever. The eager reaction heated his blood to the boiling point, until every cell in his body felt ready to explode.
Forced to lift his head and catch his breath, he whispered in a raw, husky voice, “I don’t want to hurt you, Laurel. But I can’t wait much longer.”
“You don’t have to wait.” The corners of her lips tilted invitingly upward as she pulled his upper body back down to hers. “I’m ready, Russ. More than ready for you to make me a woman.”
He’d planned to use his fingers first, to stroke and prime her for the shock that was to follow. But desire had him in a mindless grip and he could feel his self-control rapidly slipping away. He had no choice now but to couple their bodies and find the release they both desperately needed.
Parting her legs, he slowly, gently began to enter the dark, velvety depths of her, and just when he thought he couldn’t bear to draw out the pace any longer, she clamped her hands on his buttocks and thrust her hips up to his.
The movement ended his agony with breathtaking pleasure, but as his ears caught the fierce intake of her breath, he realized it was probably the complete opposite for her. Most likely she felt as though he was going to split her apart.
Bending his head, he quickly brought his lips down to hers. “Laurel, I’m sorry! I don’t want to hurt you. But I can’t stop! I can’t!”
“Oh, Russ. It’s okay. Really okay,” she whispered against his cheek. “Just make love to me.”
Along with her words, he could feel her body settling around his, her arms and legs circling him, her mouth planting rapid-fire kisses along his neck and on his shoulder. Her eager response was all that was needed to spur his hips into a thrusting rhythm. Laurel immediately began to match his pace, and in that instant his ability to think dissolved in a violent whirl of passion.
After that, time spun wildly out of control, making it impossible for Russ to know how much of it had passed before his body was drenched with sweat and his lungs burned for air. But the ticking minutes held no consequence for him. All that mattered was Laurel’s soft body writhing beneath him, her hands skimming over his skin, her lips feeding hungrily on his mouth, and the moans in her throat growing into deep, needy growls.
He couldn’t let it end, he thought. He couldn’t let the ecstasy slip away. But his body refused to listen to his brain, and before he could slow their momentum, he could feel the two of them blending as one, racing faster and faster, until his breaths were nothing but harsh rasps and blood pounded in his ears, blocking out every sound, every though
t but her and all that she was giving him.
The end was like tumbling down a steep mountain and hitting the ravine below with a sharp jolt. The landing was so stunning it took several moments for him to gather his whereabouts and finally realize he was lying atop Laurel, his face buried in the curve of her shoulder.
Quickly, he eased his weight off her, but kept his hand firmly attached to her waist as he settled himself close to her side.
“Please tell me you’re okay.”
His voice sounded choked and unrecognizable to his own ears. Had making love to her already changed him that much?
Slowly, she turned and curved her arm possessively across his chest. “Mmm. I’m fine.”
He reached to touch her hair and discovered his hand was trembling. The realization stunned him. He was a big, strong man who stayed in shape. A soft little woman like her shouldn’t have the power to make him this weak and vulnerable, he thought. But she had. In more ways than one.
“I’m glad. I couldn’t have forgiven myself if your first time ended up being a nightmare.”
Turning her face slightly, she pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “It was special, Russ. So special.”
How could one word make him feel so incredible? he wondered. How could it wipe away years of loneliness and self-doubts? He didn’t know the answer to that, but he did know that tonight had changed him. That she had changed him.
Since the lamp was still burning, the golden hue lit her face and gave her damp skin a pearlescent glow. A rosy tinge swept along her cheekbones and darkened her swollen lips. The lovely sight of her had him turning on his side and trailing his fingers across her forehead.
“It was very special for me, too,” he murmured thickly.
Her lashes fluttered and she tilted a doubtful gaze up to his face. “You don’t have to say that. I’m sure I must have seemed—well, very green.”
He gave her a drowsy smile. “Hmm. Green is my favorite color. So don’t change. Okay?”
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